Are These Sh*t Tests?

[Modern Man Advice]

Whether its a test or not is irrelevant, what she is doing is you a favor.

Never get into these "patterns" or routines. It's too predictable and eventually becomes dull, tasteless, and comfortable. All things you don't want to settle on with someone. It might work for a few months, maybe a year or two but that will come back to bite you in the arse.

Always keep things as unique, different, and unpredictable as possible.

 

[soulforge]

She is seeing someone else , or at very best thinking about someone else

Everything you have mentioned above are tell tale signs there is someone else in the picture

1) being argumentative
2) lack of physical & emotional connection
3) No secks
4) the screensaver thing

Whoever or whatever has happened in her life has caused her to reassess your value to her , you may have even done something to pi$$ her off

Whatever at this stage it really doesn't matter

I told you a month ago to pull back from this girl and your still giving her girlfriend treatment

Go cold and see what happens , if she is at all bothered about you she will chase you.

I think it's too early to jump to the conclusion she is seeing someone else or entertaining someone else.. I mean it's a possibility.

The sex thing only happened this one time, why? Because she was tired. I usually wake her up in the morning and give her a good fukin, I do this every morning I wake up with her.. However on this occasion I decided not to... Because of her bratty attitude earlier in the day and also because I don't feel like it should be ME who makes the sex happen every single time.

The screensaver thing? Yes that's a real issue. Maybe she took it off, because she doesn't want another guy to see it, when she is around him.

However this is where it gets confusing..

She still wants to see me tomorrow night.. She still wants me to spend the entire weekend with her including the Sunday night.

Why want to spend all this time with me, if she had lost interest?

I have already pulled back somewhat. I am going to watch closely to see if she still sends the good morning text messages.

Also if I feel like she is playing games and this chit continues, I won't hesitate to dump her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

<sarcasm>
Isn’t dealing with women fun?
</sarcasm>

 

[soulforge]

You inspired me to make a thread about this type of behavior. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/from-clinger-to-winner-is-it-even-possible.277098/

I like you bro, but I have to be real with you. Especially your very last sentence seems problematic. Why dont you simply admit you DO mind dropping her? That will change the tone of the music. Be honest. Dropping her is probably the your hardest task at hand this year.
You'd like her to be yours, but she not, it's just your turn. Time will tell if I am right She should be worried about you. period.

Pick a damn pill. Red blue or black? If you are RP , you'd already assumed your suspension to be the truth. Why wouldn't ya ? Its life and you move on. If you wanna stay bluepilled, get another girl. One that understands how to LTR, and one you can call out on intrinsic details like you wrote about in this post. Even then you should know it's a matter of time before even that women might start pulling away and show similar behaviors.

Hey man I will be honest with 100%

This is girl is 24 Russian and hot... Do I want to drop her? If I can avoid it, then no... However in all honesty, if she does drop off or I next her, I know for a fact it's not the end of the world, I can find another girl who will not cause many issues.. Hot chicks always come with some issues/games etc.

Now let's look at this objectively.

I have been seeing this girl 6 months. How many times has she failed to say good morning to me in those 6 months? Around 2-3 times maximum. I can't next her because she forgot to say morning 2 or 3 times lol that would be Fukin stupid.

Also this... How many times have we failed to have sex or she hasn't made an effort to have in the last 6 months? Just this one time.. Yes one time... She was tired and I didn't want to make a move on her in the morning like I usually do. I can't dump a girl because she didn't have sex with me one time in 6 months, again that would be Fukin stupid.

She changed her/mine picture off her phone to her mother instead. Maybe she wanted a change, maybe something sinister is going on.

Now all that being said.. Quite alot of these little issues have popped up in the last I would say week or so... It could be that these are all signs of her beginning to entertain another guy/low interest etc.

Or it could just be coincidence. I would need to see/experience a little more of this behaviour in order to decide WTF is going on.

My gut instinct does tell me something is up.. However it's all premature.. I am keeping an eye on things, and if there is evidence of anymore sketchy behaviour that confirms she is upto some chit, then I will drop her even if I don't like it.

At the moment all I have got is this...

She didn't say good morning once or twice and we didn't have sex once in 6 month's. Bro you can't just dump chicks on something this minor, but I will know if this was just a isolated event very soon.

As for the point you made... Yes it should be absolutely HER who who is worried about chit and not ME.

This is because I am making things too easy and comfortable for her... It should be me who forgets to text or forgets to say morning/night etc. I do need to be more unpredictable. I need to pull back, this much I know for sure.

As for is this my girl? Bruv I know for a FACT no girl is your girl... We only temporary.. The times we live in now, especially with hot chicks, it's just temporary. I'm just enjoying the ride for now.

 

[soulforge]

It is not a test. The "withdrawal" test comes within the first three months or so. If anything, the test was conditioning you via operant feedback loops during daily, predictable communication.

Either the relationship is simply moving into a normal communication cycle, which will be less frequent, or she is losing interest. There is no test. The reason you see it as a test and you hide all of her other red flags from us is because you want it to be a test instead of what your gut is telling you, that she is losing interest.

You could be right man....there is a strong chance she is losing interest. But remember it's the one/two times she has not text me good morning in 6 months.

She failed to say good morning around 3 months ago when her IL was super high.

Also in 6 months it's only this one time we didn't have sex...

I agree with you, it could be low IL however it's also a little too premature to say that it's definitely the case. In the next week or so, will no more.

If I feel like her behaviour isn't to my liking or getting worse, I will immediately drop her.

Also this. If it is low IL? Why has she said she wants to see me tomorrow night? and also invited to spend the entire weekend with her at her house?

 

[soulforge]

<sarcasm>
Isn’t dealing with women fun?
</sarcasm>

This alone isn't even worth keeping chicks around, for anything more than casual

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think it's too early to jump to the conclusion she is seeing someone else or entertaining someone else.. I mean it's a possibility.

The sex thing only happened this one time, why? Because she was tired. I usually wake her up in the morning and give her a good fukin, I do this every morning I wake up with her.. However on this occasion I decided not to... Because of her bratty attitude earlier in the day and also because I don't feel like it should be ME who makes the sex happen every single time.

The screensaver thing? Yes that's a real issue. Maybe she took it off, because she doesn't want another guy to see it, when she is around him.

However this is where it gets confusing..

She still wants to see me tomorrow night.. She still wants me to spend the entire weekend with her including the Sunday night.

Why want to spend all this time with me, if she had lost interest?

I have already pulled back somewhat. I am going to watch closely to see if she still sends the good morning text messages.

Also if I feel like she is playing games and this chit continues, I won't hesitate to dump her.

You are trying to rationalise it because you want to keep her

You don't need to dump her all you gotta do is throw a lil test out there

Just pull back , say you got some family **** or work commitment whatever go cold for 1-2 weeks

If she is at all bothered she will chase you

If she doesn't then she's taken the opportunity to go and play in someone else castle

Women are not complicated , we make them complicated by trying to rationalise their behaviour

Nearly every issue with a woman can be resolved with a calculated dose of distance

 

[soulforge]

Like I said, it could just be the normal lapse as the relationship gets more comfortable. The reason I say its low interest though is because you are hiding her red flags from us and your gut is screaming, which is why you are posting about it. No one posts about normal comfort stage communication decline in relationships unless they are highly neurotic. In fact, you're not likely to even notice, or more likely to welcome the lull in communication.

Its your behavior thats evidence to us of her losing interest more than just what she is doing on her own.

This is just me as an analyst. I am not advising you do DO anything in response to this. All you can do is stay cool and calm.

The red flags I am no noticing about her, are mostly her unpredictableness.

I mean I have noticed this common cycle from day one of seeing her.

Everything is going fine between us, then suddenly she will drop off the radar in regards to Communication. She might take 3 hours to reply back or forgot to text good morning etc.

Each and everytime I have put it down to maybe loss of interest, yet she keeps coming back for more and spending more and more time with me etc.

The way is see it is this... If a girl is losing interest then some of the following symptoms should manifest themselves.

01. Loss in interest with sex
02. Increased pattern of disrespect
03. Excuses not to meet up, flaking etc

So far she hasn't flaked or avoided meeting up.. She got a little bratty at the weekend but it wasn't obvious disrespect.. and the lack of sex only happened one time.

Like I said, all will be revealed in the next week or so.. this is either low IL or simply a blip.

 

[soulforge]

You are trying to rationalise it because you want to keep her

You don't need to dump her all you gotta do is throw a lil test out there

Just pull back , say you got some family **** or work commitment whatever go cold for 1-2 weeks

If she is at all bothered she will chase you

If she doesn't then she's taken the opportunity to go and play in someone else castle

Women are not complicated , we make them complicated by trying to rationalise their behaviour

Nearly every issue with a woman can be resolved with a calculated dose of distance

I agree with you silence and distance is key..

I am already pulling back tonight, by taking my time to reply to her, also I'm not engaging in conversation with her, simple answers and brief replies.

 

[soulforge]

actually, I only "look for"(I dont look for it, I just happen to notice) a change in behavioral patterns. This can be positive behavioral patterns, or a "kiss of death" type breakup. Those of us here that date reciprocally are very likely to keep a woman around longer than usually because we invest reciprocally. Why? The don't want to lose you even while they're bored of you, so it doesnt follow the usual pattern. You defined the most common type of interest lost signs though.

What type of signs would you look out for?

01. Lack of sex
02. Disrespectful behaviour
03. Lack of texting etc
04. Flaking
05. Showing less intimacy

These are the signs I usually look for

Agreed, some chicks will arrange dates and meeting up etc, as they don't want to lose you, up until they ready to monkey branch to the next guy

 

[soulforge]

The ones you mentioned are the usual ones. I've just seen others like extreme love bombing, sexual escalation, cooking, and pandering right before being dumped. That's why Im more looking for changes in behavior than anything, because some changes are positive.

Yeh I have seen the opposite too.. luckily I ain't in love with this girl and will keep an eye on her behaviour.. I kinda feel take it or leave it with her to be fair. It's not massive loss if we break up, other than the fact that she is hot lol.

I got the , I miss you're cuddles and dik message tonight

 

[derby1]

Yeh I have seen the opposite too.. luckily I ain't in love with this girl and will keep an eye on her behaviour.. I kinda feel take it or leave it with her to be fair. It's not massive loss if we break up, other than the fact that she is hot lol.

I got the , I miss you're cuddles and dik message tonight

do you see how her being unpredictable has sent you into a tail spin? writing paragraphs on the forum about her.

this is teaching you why you should do it too her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You inspired me to make a thread about this type of behavior. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/from-clinger-to-winner-is-it-even-possible.277098/

I like you bro, but I have to be real with you. Especially your very last sentence seems problematic. Why dont you simply admit you DO mind dropping her? That will change the tone of the music. Be honest. Dropping her is probably the your hardest task at hand this year.
You'd like her to be yours, but she not, it's just your turn. Time will tell if I am right She should be worried about you. period.

Pick a damn pill. Red blue or black? If you are RP , you'd already assumed your suspension to be the truth. Why wouldn't ya ? Its life and you move on. If you wanna stay bluepilled, get another girl. One that understands how to LTR, and one you can call out on intrinsic details like you wrote about in this post. Even then you should know it's a matter of time before even that women might start pulling away and show similar behaviors.

OP seems neurotic about getting dumped. And let's be honest, when something THAT simple sends him into panic mode, she already knows he is like that and probably has for a while now. Women are expert at picking up these nuances in behavior and observing actions.

I'd bet there is a good chance she is doing this intentionally just because she knows it's happening.

 

[soulforge]

do you see how her being unpredictable has sent you into a tail spin? writing paragraphs on the forum about her.

this is teaching you why you should do it too her

This is true man, over the last 6-7 weeks or so, I have gotten a little too uncomfortable with her

 

[tightgrp]

From experience, because you're so invested, start preparing for the extreme hormone withdrawal you're going to experience. Start setting up for life without this person.

 

[soulforge]

OP seems neurotic about getting dumped. And let's be honest, when something THAT simple sends him into panic mode, she already knows he is like that and probably has for a while now. Women are expert at picking up these nuances in behavior and observing actions.

I'd bet there is a good chance she is doing this intentionally just because she knows it's happening.

To be fair it's not the fact that she didn't text good morning that got me thinking what the fuk is up. It's that combination of things.

No text, changed her screensaver and we didn't have sex... I think ANY dude would be questioning that behaviour, nothing neurotic about it, it's just common sense to be alert about these changes in behaviour. Most dudes don't recognise squat and get dumped out of the blue.

Also this.. She might be doing chit on intention, but I rarely ever react to it .. I generally mirror her behaviour but never openly react to it.

 

[soulforge]

From experience, because you're so invested, start preparing for the extreme hormone withdrawal you're going to experience. Start setting up for life without this person.

To be honest man, one foot has always been out of the door with this chick, from day one I knew the probability of things working out are pretty low. So I'm already prepared and even considering calling it a day myself

 

[soulforge]

So I am with her tonight and I have noticed she has changed her screensaver back to me and her... I didn't ask her to, I didn't even mention it.

She does seem a little distant though, and seems less physically effectionate.

I think I have made things too easy for her in the last 6-7 weeks, too easily available and always texting back to her.

It's a shame when you can't be in a relationship with a girl, without having to play games, in order to keep her IL high.

But my experience tells me, the more unpredictable a guy is, and the more he makes her hamster spin, them more she wants and needs him.

Nice reliable doesn't get you anywhere

 

[derby1]

So I am with her tonight and I have noticed she has changed her screensaver back to me and her... I didn't ask her to, I didn't even mention it.

She does seem a little distant though, and seems less physically effectionate.

I think I have made things too easy for her in the last 6-7 weeks, too easily available and always texting back to her.

It's a shame when you can't be in a relationship with a girl, without having to play games, in order to keep her IL high.

But my experience tells me, the more unpredictable a guy is, and the more he makes her hamster spin, them more she wants and needs him.

Nice reliable doesn't get you anywhere

if you go on Just Pearly things youtube channel , a guy does a breakdown on there on how to date a modern woman. He presents it like an elementary class, its absolutely hilarious.

He goes on to say how he has to do extreme pullbacks, low interest and gaslighting to keep her interested.

irony is all the women on the sofa laugh there head off watching him.

 

[Rainman4707]

So current girl I am seeing this girl, it's been around 6 months seeing eachother.

Both of us have developed like a texting pattern. She always sends me a good morning text, and asks me if I have slept well... I send her usually one or two text back in the form of a reply in the morning.

Later in the night, usually after we both have finished work, I send her a text to ask how her day has been.

That's pretty much the pattern... However once every maybe 5-6 weeks or so, she fails to send me a good morning text.

I tend to just get on with my day, and I notice several times that she has been online but has not texted me all day.

She eventually does send me a text, but late in the day.

My guess is she is testing me, in the hope I will send her a morning text or I will panic and chase or text her.

I never give in though and she always in the end, gives up and winds up texting me.

I simply find it odd that she does this only once a while.

My gf tests me a lot. You have to be that masculine rock. If she senses a weakness, she will test you on it. She will be a brat to see how much she can get away with. They are 3x more clever than us.

Last night for the first time in four month my girl didnt cuddle....i will just keep solid and ride the storm.