Are These Sh*t Tests?

[soulforge]

So current girl I am seeing this girl, it's been around 6 months seeing eachother.

Both of us have developed like a texting pattern. She always sends me a good morning text, and asks me if I have slept well... I send her usually one or two text back in the form of a reply in the morning.

Later in the night, usually after we both have finished work, I send her a text to ask how her day has been.

That's pretty much the pattern... However once every maybe 5-6 weeks or so, she fails to send me a good morning text.

I tend to just get on with my day, and I notice several times that she has been online but has not texted me all day.

She eventually does send me a text, but late in the day.

My guess is she is testing me, in the hope I will send her a morning text or I will panic and chase or text her.

I never give in though and she always in the end, gives up and winds up texting me.

I simply find it odd that she does this only once a while.

 

[Glassguy]

If it is a test, so be it. If it isn't, so be it. You should show no response to it either way. And then either way you pass the test by not looking too deep into or or bringing it up with her.

 

[Stanley]

Anyone else getting Deja-vu?

 

[RazorRambo24]

lol what? Have you never had a busy day where you forget to text someone in the morning? That's why I dont do good morning texts to begin with, I know i cant be consistent with it. Same with girls in my life/in my past/in my present.. they would do it for a while and just stop because its hard to just stay consistent lol. especially because im such an inconsistent texter, i'll forget to respond for a whole day to things people text me sometime.. and women hate that lol

After 6 months bro you should have a connection where you don't think of silly stuff like this lol. or are comfortable enough to be like "hey you didnt text me today and i noticed, so I decided to text you instead" (not literally say this but this is what you're thinking so do it )

Idk what it is that makes people complicate everything lol.. If you know a girl likes you, you dont question anything.. because that stuff is meaningless lol

 

[soulforge]

If it is a test, so be it. If it isn't, so be it. You should show no response to it either way. And then either way you pass the test by not looking too deep into or or bringing it up with her.

I never bring it up, and I never make an effort to contact her either. She ends up in the end messaging me, even though it's late in the day.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

Once I started going no contact I have been a happier man. Whenever you feel a like a woman is playing a game to no contact lol. It’s the best way.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

If you have to think that a woman not messaging you she is cheating on you then you shouldn’t be with that woman to begin with. The same goes with **** testing. Women make the man they want a priority. Go no contact and reset the switch. Going no contact makes everything better

 

[member160292]

My opinion as well.

This is why (imo) you never develop a "pattern."

It gets old and boring and lord forbid, someone breaks pattern, the other freaks out. I mean that figuratively not literally, but it becomes a concern like now.

So she missed a good morning text, why does it have to mean she playing a game?

After six months being in an exclusive relationship, those types of shyt testing games shouid have stopped.

And replaced by trust at least on some level. If you don't have that, then what's the point of being in a relationship with her at all?

People need to relax and enjoy the process, the journey. Without all this paranoia that you're being shyt tested or played.

I say the same to women.

If you distrust women (or her) to this large of a degree that her not texting one morning means she's shyt testing you, perhaps you should reconsider remaining in the relationship.

For your sake and hers.

Sorry if that sounded harsh, good luck mate.

Any deviation from the routine sparks emotional interest from the other partner. OP caved in and most likely already lost it.

Women that are high interest do not play these ‘games’. The ‘games’ happen once she is already one foot out the door. Dance, Monkey, Dance

oh Hey soulforge

 

[Bingo-Player]

women who are truly under a mans spell generally do not deviate away from routine they are predictable and complacent

If this is the same chick you have previously posted about and i am assuming it is then you have to ask why are you still questioning yourself ?

What is your gut saying !?!

I ask this because whenever ive been with a woman in a serious or semi serious relationship and something i can't easily explain happens i tend to have a feeling in my gut that something just ain't right

Your mind won't want to believe she's up to any funny business but your gut will never lie to you

 

[Divorced w 3]

So current girl I am seeing this girl, it's been around 6 months seeing eachother.

Both of us have developed like a texting pattern. She always sends me a good morning text, and asks me if I have slept well... I send her usually one or two text back in the form of a reply in the morning.

Later in the night, usually after we both have finished work, I send her a text to ask how her day has been.

That's pretty much the pattern... However once every maybe 5-6 weeks or so, she fails to send me a good morning text.

I tend to just get on with my day, and I notice several times that she has been online but has not texted me all day.

She eventually does send me a text, but late in the day.

My guess is she is testing me, in the hope I will send her a morning text or I will panic and chase or text her.

I never give in though and she always in the end, gives up and winds up texting me.

I simply find it odd that she does this only once a while.

The Don Juan DOES NOT CARE, don’t even acknowledge it. She either confirms high interest to you or you move on and she doesn’t get to continue the ride.

If you haven’t read the AD Machine series, stop talking to her until you’ve read it (takes an hour). Then go read Book of Pook. Invest time in yourself. Then go try your new material out. How many times would you keep fbcking other areas of your life up without looking for help? This is no different.

 

[soulforge]

Early in when developing trust I agree. Behaved that way myself.

But they've been in an exclusive relationship for six months, so it's different imo.

The same "rules" that apply early in change when trust develops and the relationship grows and evolves. And it was ONE good morning text she didn't send in FIVE weeks.

And the solution is to punish her by going no contact? SMH. No wonder relationships are so screwed up. Lol

IDK, I'm pretty submissive but thank goodness my husband allows for some deviation from the norm from time to time without freaking out or suspecting that I'm playing games or shyt testing. As I do with him as well.

He understands I'm not a robot and shyt/life happens. He's secure and centered and trusts me.

What a suffocating, oppressive existence it would be otherwise. IDK, I could never live like that anyway.

Anyway, THAT'S what's missing here imo. Trust. And feeling secure and centered within himself and the relationship.

That might be worth exploring more than wondering if she's shyt testing you after six months in an exclusive relationship.

But y'all do you and good luck @soulforge.

Please let me clarify... I am not annoyed or worried about the fact that she didn't text that particular morning (these things happen)

My concern was/is that it was done intentionally as a chit test!

The reason why I believe this is, it was Friday morning when she didn't text me, and that very night we had a date.

Even though she didn't text me in the morning, she made zero contact with me for the entire day which isn't her usual self.

It is only the last minute around 2 hours before the date that she finally sent me a text to ask how many day had been.. The text itself was a little odd, as it had the usual kisses missing.

My gut instinct tells me, that she missed texting me in the morning, then held out from texting me the entire day, in the hope that I would make a move to contact her first.. When it dawned on her that I will not be reaching out to her, she then as a last resort sent me a text, without the kisses as she was annoyed about the situation.

(She has chit tested like this before at early stage of dating)

Then her behaviour over this weekend has been suspicious..

I had to call her out this weekend as, she was acting bratty and argumentative. She didn't like it when I called her out, but eventually she got the message and began to act nice again.

Also... When watching a movie together, she sat separate from me on the other sofa, usually couples like to watch a film sat together, but hey I just left her to her own devices and didn't make an issue of it.

Now the biggest red flag? She has a picture of me and her together as her screen saver on her phone. She has kept that screensaver picture on her phone for the last two months.

Last night while sat next to me, and somewhat discreetly she changed our picture, to her and her mothers picture instead.

I'm not sure if this is a big deal?

Also she was too tired to have sex last night, instead of going to bed and fukin, she wanted a cuddle and fell asleep.

Throughout the night she didn't come upto me much for a cuddle either.

Seems like something is off... I personally think a little silence and distance is the best way forward to test her interest level, or maybe even dropping her.

 

[tksniper]

So current girl I am seeing this girl, it's been around 6 months seeing eachother.

Both of us have developed like a texting pattern. She always sends me a good morning text, and asks me if I have slept well... I send her usually one or two text back in the form of a reply in the morning.

Later in the night, usually after we both have finished work, I send her a text to ask how her day has been.

That's pretty much the pattern... However once every maybe 5-6 weeks or so, she fails to send me a good morning text.

I tend to just get on with my day, and I notice several times that she has been online but has not texted me all day.

She eventually does send me a text, but late in the day.

My guess is she is testing me, in the hope I will send her a morning text or I will panic and chase or text her.

I never give in though and she always in the end, gives up and winds up texting me.

I simply find it odd that she does this only once a while.

Women do not test men. That is your DELUSION. They have better use of their time. Whenever you think a woman is testing you, its's actually the EXACT thing you intuition tells you what it's about. She's bored of you. You have no life. And you spend your productive time talking about her in an online forum. Basically you are low value right now. And you know when you've been high value you didn't need to deal with this ****.

 

[tksniper]

I dont know you @soulforge , but somehow I feel like you've nomarlized victim mentality, which explains why you are so comfortable posting your spiel. Your OP contained no accountability whatsoever. All I see is you tolerating lackluster behavior and you rationalizing why this is normal. It's NOT normal when compare to experiencing great romance. Please dont tell me you are some sort of standard (no offense)

 

[Divorced w 3]

Please let me clarify... I am not annoyed or worried about the fact that she didn't text that particular morning (these things happen)

My concern was/is that it was done intentionally as a chit test!

The reason why I believe this is, it was Friday morning when she didn't text me, and that very night we had a date.

Even though she didn't text me in the morning, she made zero contact with me for the entire day which isn't her usual self.

It is only the last minute around 2 hours before the date that she finally sent me a text to ask how many day had been.. The text itself was a little odd, as it had the usual kisses missing.

My gut instinct tells me, that she missed texting me in the morning, then held out from texting me the entire day, in the hope that I would make a move to contact her first.. When it dawned on her that I will not be reaching out to her, she then as a last resort sent me a text, without the kisses as she was annoyed about the situation.

(She has chit tested like this before at early stage of dating)

Then her behaviour over this weekend has been suspicious..

I had to call her out this weekend as, she was acting bratty and argumentative. She didn't like it when I called her out, but eventually she got the message and began to act nice again.

Also... When watching a movie together, she sat separate from me on the other sofa, usually couples like to watch a film sat together, but hey I just left her to her own devices and didn't make an issue of it.

Now the biggest red flag? She has a picture of me and her together as her screen saver on her phone. She has kept that screensaver picture on her phone for the last two months.

Last night while sat next to me, and somewhat discreetly she changed our picture, to her and her mothers picture instead.

I'm not sure if this is a big deal?

Also she was too tired to have sex last night, instead of going to bed and fukin, she wanted a cuddle and fell asleep.

Throughout the night she didn't come upto me much for a cuddle either.

Seems like something is off... I personally think a little silence and distance is the best way forward to test her interest level, or maybe even dropping her.

Are you serious with this dude. Go hit some golf balls. It’s a text message. You are going to overthink this into getting dumped because the neurosis is going to pour out when you next speak.

Litmus test- Does she make time for you when you set plans? There’s your answer, for better or worse.

The DonJuan makes it a fun situation irrespective of whatever she is putting out.

She makes time? Great, can’t wait to go do whatever. She doesn’t make time? Ok great , have a great afternoon! She tells you why she’s not writing and you would normally be offended? Ok great honey, I’m glad/sorry for you, whatever, just keep it positive. Be like super supportive. It’ll drive her nuts.

put yourself first.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yes but at this point, all those other issues he mentioned really do paint a picture of loss of interest, or at least anger.
Personally I hate all this cat and mouse stuff. These are not tests. They are indicators.

 

[soulforge]

Yes but at this point, all those other issues he mentioned really do paint a picture of loss of interest, or at least anger.
Personally I hate all this cat and mouse stuff. These are not tests. They are indicators.

Well she changed her screensaver picture from our picture together together to her mothers picture. I don't know if this should be considered an issue?

Also this.. her sitting separately on the sofa from me, isn't something new.. She has been doing that from pretty much day one of us seeing eachother.

I used to tell her to sit on the same sofa as me, when watching a movie from time to time, but I stopped doing that a good while ago.

She usually sits on the other sofa for an hour and then join me on my sofa later (I know it's fukin weird)

As for sex last night, well it didn't happen as she fell asleep and was tired. Usually in the morning I always instigate sex, However this morning I decided not to bother.

I could tell she wasn't too happy about it in the morning, as first thing she said was "you didn't cuddle me at all last night"

On the matter of interest level? Before she went back home today, she asked me to come spend next weekend at her house.

I think if her IL was low, she wouldn't try to get me to come spend more time with her at at the weekend.

That being said.. Her changing the screen saver is a red flag? Would you guys bring this up in maybe in a jokey manner?

I simply didn't say anything and let it be, what's more important than the screen saver is, how she behaves around me moving forward from this point.

And how she communicates with me.. I am meat to be seeing her this coming Tuesday night and then next weekend.. If I feel like her attitude/behaviour hasn't improved in anyway, I actually don't mind dropping her and moving onto the next one.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why are you spinning your wheels over these little dumb texts? Knock off the useless chit chat.

 

[Bingo-Player]

She is seeing someone else , or at very best thinking about someone else

Everything you have mentioned above are tell tale signs there is someone else in the picture

1) being argumentative
2) lack of physical & emotional connection
3) No secks
4) the screensaver thing

Whoever or whatever has happened in her life has caused her to reassess your value to her , you may have even done something to pi$$ her off

Whatever at this stage it really doesn't matter

I told you a month ago to pull back from this girl and your still giving her girlfriend treatment

Go cold and see what happens , if she is at all bothered about you she will chase you.

 

[Gamisch]

Well she changed her screensaver picture from our picture together together to her mothers picture. I don't know if this should be considered an issue?

Also this.. her sitting separately on the sofa from me, isn't something new.. She has been doing that from pretty much day one of us seeing eachother.

I used to tell her to sit on the same sofa as me, when watching a movie from time to time, but I stopped doing that a good while ago.

She usually sits on the other sofa for an hour and then join me on my sofa later (I know it's fukin weird)

As for sex last night, well it didn't happen as she fell asleep and was tired. Usually in the morning I always instigate sex, However this morning I decided not to bother.

I could tell she wasn't too happy about it in the morning, as first thing she said was "you didn't cuddle me at all last night"

On the matter of interest level? Before she went back home today, she asked me to come spend next weekend at her house.

I think if her IL was low, she wouldn't try to get me to come spend more time with her at at the weekend.

That being said.. Her changing the screen saver is a red flag? Would you guys bring this up in maybe in a jokey manner?

I simply didn't say anything and let it be, what's more important than the screen saver is, how she behaves around me moving forward from this point.

And how she communicates with me.. I am meat to be seeing her this coming Tuesday night and then next weekend.. If I feel like her attitude/behaviour hasn't improved in anyway, I actually don't mind dropping her and moving onto the next one.

You inspired me to make a thread about this type of behavior. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/from-clinger-to-winner-is-it-even-possible.277098/

I like you bro, but I have to be real with you. Especially your very last sentence seems problematic. Why dont you simply admit you DO mind dropping her? That will change the tone of the music. Be honest. Dropping her is probably the your hardest task at hand this year.
You'd like her to be yours, but she not, it's just your turn. Time will tell if I am right She should be worried about you. period.

Pick a damn pill. Red blue or black? If you are RP , you'd already assumed your suspension to be the truth. Why wouldn't ya ? Its life and you move on. If you wanna stay bluepilled, get another girl. One that understands how to LTR, and one you can call out on intrinsic details like you wrote about in this post. Even then you should know it's a matter of time before even that women might start pulling away and show similar behaviors.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

For all that dont know what happened a few weeks ago:

How Important Is Communication In A LTR? | SoSuave Discussion Forum

She failed to send the "good night" text back then......
I just wonder why she is still around putting up with this.