I need to work on my inner game some and go out and do some approaches. Is there anything I need to know so that I don't come off as a psychopath (which I think I do) and avoid certain pitfalls (like blanking out in the middle of a conversation)? Any help would be appreciated.
Are there any basic fundamentals to cold approaches?
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i had the same problem and im still not excellent at them but at the end of the day just smile and dont be serious or analyze anything. be "too casual" and assume she wants you. make your intentions known, so many guys try to be "sneaky" but that's what (imo) really comes off as creepy and timid. being timid or shy is never ever good. if you stumble over your words or go blank just blame her.
Agent Zero
Senior Don Juan
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Yeah the psychopath thing, I used to have that...you just gotta do some and get over it. I think what helped me most is accepting the reality that the male is the pursuer and the female is the one to be chased. You don't get negative reactions from cold approaches hardly ever. You gotta just do 'em...my first cold approach was so exhilirating and I freaking # closed my first one!
Don't worry about inner game or anything else...go do 1 approach, just do a compliment ("excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you look beautiful")...cute, gorgeous, whatever. I believe that's the key because she will smile and probably say thanks. Don't worry about picking that girl up, but it will give you confidence to go forward with this. Girls appreciate the attention and compliments.
Don't worry about inner game or anything else...go do 1 approach, just do a compliment ("excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you look beautiful")...cute, gorgeous, whatever. I believe that's the key because she will smile and probably say thanks. Don't worry about picking that girl up, but it will give you confidence to go forward with this. Girls appreciate the attention and compliments.
Don't be conservative. You don't want to come across like every other boring guy out there. The most important thing to do in any cold approach is to either get her number or get rejected. If you walk away from a woman you approached without her number or a rejection, you're not taking big enough risks.
Yeah the psychopath thing, I used to have that...you just gotta do some and get over it. I think what helped me most is accepting the reality that the male is the pursuer and the female is the one to be chased. You don't get negative reactions from cold approaches hardly ever. You gotta just do 'em...my first cold approach was so exhilirating and I freaking # closed my first one!
Don't worry about inner game or anything else...go do 1 approach, just do a compliment ("excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you look beautiful")...cute, gorgeous, whatever. I believe that's the key because she will smile and probably say thanks. Don't worry about picking that girl up, but it will give you confidence to go forward with this. Girls appreciate the attention and compliments.
Hey thanks man. That rules out the possibility that a woman is likely to take offense to approaching her, as I've been raised to always respect a womans boundaries and to never speak to them because this is likely to lead to a bad outcomes. This enforces my belief that women should NOT be approached. Please tell me I've been raised wrong if that happens to be the case!
Also are you trying to say to take "baby steps" by complimenting them and not trying to do a full blow approach and # close until I get a "feel" for it?
And let me add that I don't really want to be a pua. I'm not entirely closed to the material but it's just seems so unnatural (thanks playersupreme if you're reading this). Anyone else got some pointers based on experiences. Ladies too I want to know what you need to say!
Don't worry about inner game or anything else...go do 1 approach, just do a compliment ("excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you look beautiful")...cute, gorgeous, whatever. I believe that's the key because she will smile and probably say thanks. Don't worry about picking that girl up, but it will give you confidence to go forward with this. Girls appreciate the attention and compliments.
Hey thanks man. That rules out the possibility that a woman is likely to take offense to approaching her, as I've been raised to always respect a womans boundaries and to never speak to them because this is likely to lead to a bad outcomes. This enforces my belief that women should NOT be approached. Please tell me I've been raised wrong if that happens to be the case!
Also are you trying to say to take "baby steps" by complimenting them and not trying to do a full blow approach and # close until I get a "feel" for it?
And let me add that I don't really want to be a pua. I'm not entirely closed to the material but it's just seems so unnatural (thanks playersupreme if you're reading this). Anyone else got some pointers based on experiences. Ladies too I want to know what you need to say!
if you think you come off as a pyschopath the last thing you want to do is be timid or appear shy because a girl will think "why is this guy so shy talking to a girl? he must be a loser etc"
talk to her like you know her...assume familiarity...just say "hey whats up" to start and get the convo rolling from there
talk to her like you know her...assume familiarity...just say "hey whats up" to start and get the convo rolling from there
Following_of_Me
Don Juan
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Do it with friends. Bring a close friend, look for groups of two or bigger and just be cool. Best approaches come natural, don't require any level of force. These are the times you have a witty observation that might turn into a conversation, such as if you were for example witnessing a girl being treated very rudely at her job by a customer. After the customer walks away, simply either jokingly imitate the rude behavior, or say something along the lines of "wow, are all the people here this rude?". Follow this up by introducing yourself, a simple "hi I'm..." works best, and ask her name. If she seems receptive, stay and chat for a while.
That's just an example, obviously you can't just go around hitting on employees who you might get in trouble by sticking around with too long. But any situation where you can work your way in naturally is best. Otherwise, you pretty much have to say something like "Hi, I'm ..., you seem open to conversation, mind if we hang around a while?" and make sure your friend is social too. No fun carrying a whole conversation alone.
That's just an example, obviously you can't just go around hitting on employees who you might get in trouble by sticking around with too long. But any situation where you can work your way in naturally is best. Otherwise, you pretty much have to say something like "Hi, I'm ..., you seem open to conversation, mind if we hang around a while?" and make sure your friend is social too. No fun carrying a whole conversation alone.
if you think you come off as a pyschopath the last thing you want to do is be timid or appear shy because a girl will think "why is this guy so shy talking to a girl? he must be a loser etc"
talk to her like you know her...assume familiarity...just say "hey whats up" to start and get the convo rolling from there
I think with enough practice the timidness and shyness will be a thing of the past. You have to start somewhere and fail don't you? I'm actually more afraid of looking like a stupid loser more than anything else to be honest.
Do it with friends. Bring a close friend, look for groups of two or bigger and just be cool. Best approaches come natural, don't require any level of force. These are the times you have a witty observation that might turn into a conversation, such as if you were for example witnessing a girl being treated very rudely at her job by a customer. After the customer walks away, simply either jokingly imitate the rude behavior, or say something along the lines of "wow, are all the people here this rude?". Follow this up by introducing yourself, a simple "hi I'm..." works best, and ask her name. If she seems receptive, stay and chat for a while.
That's just an example, obviously you can't just go around hitting on employees who you might get in trouble by sticking around with too long. But any situation where you can work your way in naturally is best. Otherwise, you pretty much have to say something like "Hi, I'm ..., you seem open to conversation, mind if we hang around a while?" and make sure your friend is social too. No fun carrying a whole conversation alone.
Don't have many friends. Most of the guys are I know are a bunch of p*ssies and don't have what it takes to even walk up to a girl. At least I leave my ego out of it and have enough pride to do just that however that isn't enough. As far as approaching groups isn't that setting yourself up for failure? Why would a stranger walk up to a group and start talking to the all the girls all of a sudden? If several have a bad opinion about you wouldn't it rub off on your target as well?
talk to her like you know her...assume familiarity...just say "hey whats up" to start and get the convo rolling from there
I think with enough practice the timidness and shyness will be a thing of the past. You have to start somewhere and fail don't you? I'm actually more afraid of looking like a stupid loser more than anything else to be honest.
Do it with friends. Bring a close friend, look for groups of two or bigger and just be cool. Best approaches come natural, don't require any level of force. These are the times you have a witty observation that might turn into a conversation, such as if you were for example witnessing a girl being treated very rudely at her job by a customer. After the customer walks away, simply either jokingly imitate the rude behavior, or say something along the lines of "wow, are all the people here this rude?". Follow this up by introducing yourself, a simple "hi I'm..." works best, and ask her name. If she seems receptive, stay and chat for a while.
That's just an example, obviously you can't just go around hitting on employees who you might get in trouble by sticking around with too long. But any situation where you can work your way in naturally is best. Otherwise, you pretty much have to say something like "Hi, I'm ..., you seem open to conversation, mind if we hang around a while?" and make sure your friend is social too. No fun carrying a whole conversation alone.
Don't have many friends. Most of the guys are I know are a bunch of p*ssies and don't have what it takes to even walk up to a girl. At least I leave my ego out of it and have enough pride to do just that however that isn't enough. As far as approaching groups isn't that setting yourself up for failure? Why would a stranger walk up to a group and start talking to the all the girls all of a sudden? If several have a bad opinion about you wouldn't it rub off on your target as well?
Try going for the rejection. It's actually a pretty eye-opening exercise. Don't go in there hoping to score. When you care so much about the result you end up being nervous. I find that if you don't give a flying fvck you actually come off as more charming.
Thanks a lot for the pointers guys. I was too damn lazy to do a search but I have found some words that have helped me out a great deal. Here are the links that may help some of you as well 
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall343.htm
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20106
I'll just put them on my ipod and when I go out I'll read them (before the approaches ofcourse) to set my mind right.
My last concern however is on conversations. I can't hold one worth a **** thanks to my years of isolation and antisocial ways. I want to break out of this barrier and I'm not using it as an excuse to avoid fixing my problems. Any advice?
http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall343.htm
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20106
I'll just put them on my ipod and when I go out I'll read them (before the approaches ofcourse
) to set my mind right. My last concern however is on conversations. I can't hold one worth a **** thanks to my years of isolation and antisocial ways. I want to break out of this barrier and I'm not using it as an excuse to avoid fixing my problems. Any advice?
SEDUCING WOMEN in non club/bar atmospheres requires some adjustments to the fundamentals. Stuff you do in a club may not go over well durring the day light hours. So lets take a looksy at some key components of seducing women durring the day or on the fly.
First of all day game is not as obvious as sarging in a club, but make no mistake about it girls are aware of your intentions. Any hopes of catching them off guard will be momentary at best. In a club women travel in packs, they get all dressed up and slap on the make up,they are in a party mood, they expect to be hit upon. There is alcohol, dance music, dim lighting, a dancefloor, other females, the c-block,lots of competition, and can be quite noisy. Time is a luxuary.
Day game- people are more in a business mode and more relaxed. They are not under the influence of alcohol, its a lot more quiet, less direct competition, their time is limited (depending on the scenario).
OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME: Outside influences can affect your success rate.
1) TIME-time varies in each situation. Obvisouly a girl sun tanning at a beach has more time than say a girl stopped at a red light. U may have to introduce a diversion worthy of their immediate attention. Time is crutial as speed closes tend to detour around the buidling attraction/rapport phase. Difficult to number close in a time crunch..........but not impossible. Looks and solid game will work in your favor. I would suggest inserting a false time constraint of your own. You might introduce DHV spikes to speed up rapport.
2) SLUT FACTOR-if the chic is in the presence of others they will behave different than being alone..........similar to the HAWTHORN EFFECT (psych theory). The crowd often influences a targets opinion, choices. Isolation of the target may be difficult to pull off durring the day. In an elevator this would be next to impossible. A whisper goes a long way.
3) PRE-OCCUPIED-ah if they are pressed for time this is truly a unique challenge. Examples: girl wearing earbuds listening to her mp3 player, talking on a cell phone, reading, windows up in the car next to you, etc. I would submit introducing a prop of some sort might give you an advantage to offset the obstacle.
You want to strive to avoid the direct approach to avoid creeping her out and over-qualifying yourself too fast. A casual, non assertive approach might be a viable option. USE GESTURES AND PROPS TO KEEP U ON TOP.
First of all day game is not as obvious as sarging in a club, but make no mistake about it girls are aware of your intentions. Any hopes of catching them off guard will be momentary at best. In a club women travel in packs, they get all dressed up and slap on the make up,they are in a party mood, they expect to be hit upon. There is alcohol, dance music, dim lighting, a dancefloor, other females, the c-block,lots of competition, and can be quite noisy. Time is a luxuary.
Day game- people are more in a business mode and more relaxed. They are not under the influence of alcohol, its a lot more quiet, less direct competition, their time is limited (depending on the scenario).
OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME: Outside influences can affect your success rate.
1) TIME-time varies in each situation. Obvisouly a girl sun tanning at a beach has more time than say a girl stopped at a red light. U may have to introduce a diversion worthy of their immediate attention. Time is crutial as speed closes tend to detour around the buidling attraction/rapport phase. Difficult to number close in a time crunch..........but not impossible. Looks and solid game will work in your favor. I would suggest inserting a false time constraint of your own. You might introduce DHV spikes to speed up rapport.
2) SLUT FACTOR-if the chic is in the presence of others they will behave different than being alone..........similar to the HAWTHORN EFFECT (psych theory). The crowd often influences a targets opinion, choices. Isolation of the target may be difficult to pull off durring the day. In an elevator this would be next to impossible. A whisper goes a long way.
3) PRE-OCCUPIED-ah if they are pressed for time this is truly a unique challenge. Examples: girl wearing earbuds listening to her mp3 player, talking on a cell phone, reading, windows up in the car next to you, etc. I would submit introducing a prop of some sort might give you an advantage to offset the obstacle.
You want to strive to avoid the direct approach to avoid creeping her out and over-qualifying yourself too fast. A casual, non assertive approach might be a viable option. USE GESTURES AND PROPS TO KEEP U ON TOP.
Unbridled_Phoenix
Master Don Juan
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DonS had a brilliant post awhile ago in the MM forum where he detailed a married woman who was after him like gangbusters after he told her that he hates kids, smokes, does drugs, pumps em and dumps em, and thinks religion is for stupid people. She was a married churchmouse, of course. It was a true eye opener for me, and it fits in with your approach mentality questions. The answer?
Never try to sell yourself to a woman.
While some better than others, every guy that a woman meets, tries to SELL himself to her. Nice guys tell her about how sensitive they are, others try to convince her by bragging about money or status or whatever, or he tries to be Mr. Suave. So in your approach you are just having fun, and when you DON'T try to sell yourself to her, that's when her interest meter starts to beep. Assuming they are physically attracted to you and other variables (mood, social situation, etc.) are in-line.
The best way is to not expect anything from cold approaches, they usually don't yield much anyway.
Never try to sell yourself to a woman.
While some better than others, every guy that a woman meets, tries to SELL himself to her. Nice guys tell her about how sensitive they are, others try to convince her by bragging about money or status or whatever, or he tries to be Mr. Suave. So in your approach you are just having fun, and when you DON'T try to sell yourself to her, that's when her interest meter starts to beep. Assuming they are physically attracted to you and other variables (mood, social situation, etc.) are in-line.
The best way is to not expect anything from cold approaches, they usually don't yield much anyway.
ummm spoken by a truly unskilled playa...........cold approaches are GREAT IF U KNOW HOW............very little direct competition. Great way to sharpen your skills as not all women go to bars...........strike when the iron is hot and tell the tale of how U seduced her durring the day.
SEDUCING WOMEN in non club/bar atmospheres requires some adjustments to the fundamentals. Stuff you do in a club may not go over well durring the day light hours. So lets take a looksy at some key components of seducing women durring the day or on the fly.
First of all day game is not as obvious as sarging in a club, but make no mistake about it girls are aware of your intentions. Any hopes of catching them off guard will be momentary at best. In a club women travel in packs, they get all dressed up and slap on the make up,they are in a party mood, they expect to be hit upon. There is alcohol, dance music, dim lighting, a dancefloor, other females, the c-block,lots of competition, and can be quite noisy. Time is a luxuary.
Day game- people are more in a business mode and more relaxed. They are not under the influence of alcohol, its a lot more quiet, less direct competition, their time is limited (depending on the scenario).
OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME: Outside influences can affect your success rate.
1) TIME-time varies in each situation. Obvisouly a girl sun tanning at a beach has more time than say a girl stopped at a red light. U may have to introduce a diversion worthy of their immediate attention. Time is crutial as speed closes tend to detour around the buidling attraction/rapport phase. Difficult to number close in a time crunch..........but not impossible. Looks and solid game will work in your favor. I would suggest inserting a false time constraint of your own. You might introduce DHV spikes to speed up rapport.
2) SLUT FACTOR-if the chic is in the presence of others they will behave different than being alone..........similar to the HAWTHORN EFFECT (psych theory). The crowd often influences a targets opinion, choices. Isolation of the target may be difficult to pull off durring the day. In an elevator this would be next to impossible. A whisper goes a long way.
3) PRE-OCCUPIED-ah if they are pressed for time this is truly a unique challenge. Examples: girl wearing earbuds listening to her mp3 player, talking on a cell phone, reading, windows up in the car next to you, etc. I would submit introducing a prop of some sort might give you an advantage to offset the obstacle.
You want to strive to avoid the direct approach to avoid creeping her out and over-qualifying yourself too fast. A casual, non assertive approach might be a viable option. USE GESTURES AND PROPS TO KEEP U ON TOP.
I suppose that too much theory and over-analyzing will be of little to no benefit in the real world. If you need to follow every one of these rule meticulously in real world situations then I don't even think it's worth the trouble. Kinda discourages me
First of all day game is not as obvious as sarging in a club, but make no mistake about it girls are aware of your intentions. Any hopes of catching them off guard will be momentary at best. In a club women travel in packs, they get all dressed up and slap on the make up,they are in a party mood, they expect to be hit upon. There is alcohol, dance music, dim lighting, a dancefloor, other females, the c-block,lots of competition, and can be quite noisy. Time is a luxuary.
Day game- people are more in a business mode and more relaxed. They are not under the influence of alcohol, its a lot more quiet, less direct competition, their time is limited (depending on the scenario).
OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME: Outside influences can affect your success rate.
1) TIME-time varies in each situation. Obvisouly a girl sun tanning at a beach has more time than say a girl stopped at a red light. U may have to introduce a diversion worthy of their immediate attention. Time is crutial as speed closes tend to detour around the buidling attraction/rapport phase. Difficult to number close in a time crunch..........but not impossible. Looks and solid game will work in your favor. I would suggest inserting a false time constraint of your own. You might introduce DHV spikes to speed up rapport.
2) SLUT FACTOR-if the chic is in the presence of others they will behave different than being alone..........similar to the HAWTHORN EFFECT (psych theory). The crowd often influences a targets opinion, choices. Isolation of the target may be difficult to pull off durring the day. In an elevator this would be next to impossible. A whisper goes a long way.
3) PRE-OCCUPIED-ah if they are pressed for time this is truly a unique challenge. Examples: girl wearing earbuds listening to her mp3 player, talking on a cell phone, reading, windows up in the car next to you, etc. I would submit introducing a prop of some sort might give you an advantage to offset the obstacle.
You want to strive to avoid the direct approach to avoid creeping her out and over-qualifying yourself too fast. A casual, non assertive approach might be a viable option. USE GESTURES AND PROPS TO KEEP U ON TOP.
I suppose that too much theory and over-analyzing will be of little to no benefit in the real world. If you need to follow every one of these rule meticulously in real world situations then I don't even think it's worth the trouble. Kinda discourages me
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
- 258
- Reaction score
- 5
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
There are some verbal guidelines as basics for you to build your game upon. Aside from that, just get out there and do it and apply some of your own personal ingenuity. Remmber pick up is an art form that will require some degree of subjective judgment on your part. Get out there and have some fun, the worst you’ll get is a no. As far as the inner game stuff goes, that’s where the hard work comes in, JUST DO IT.
There are some verbal guidelines as basics for you to build your game upon. Aside from that, just get out there and do it and apply some of your own personal ingenuity. Remmber pick up is an art form that will require some degree of subjective judgment on your part. Get out there and have some fun, the worst you’ll get is a no. As far as the inner game stuff goes, that’s where the hard work comes in, JUST DO IT.
WHY DAY GAME........the purpose of seducing women durring the game is quite obvious........OPPORTUNITES ARE NOT JUST FOR SATURDAY NIGHT IN A CLUB.
SOME SAY GENERIC ADVICE LIKE SAY ANYTHING,..........PFFT YA LIKE THIS WORKS...........NOT!!!!!!
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, COOL, INTERESTING, ENGAGING worthy of a response. MASTER DAY GAME and U have a huge advantage over CLUB PUA'S.
TARGETS (HOT WOMEN) cross your path every fricken day of the week......carpe dium my friend.
Situational openers (based upon surroundings your in) are natural. Direct approaching are bold steps and have a low to moderate success ratio. WHY IS THAT.......well for one coming up with the perfect pickup line and strategically going through all the steps is tough. Secondly targets durring the day are in a hurry, so now theres added time pressure.
STICKY POINT........master this game and YOU are way ahead of any club/bar/online pickup artist.........can't stress this enough!!!!!!!!
SOME SAY GENERIC ADVICE LIKE SAY ANYTHING,..........PFFT YA LIKE THIS WORKS...........NOT!!!!!!
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, COOL, INTERESTING, ENGAGING worthy of a response. MASTER DAY GAME and U have a huge advantage over CLUB PUA'S.
TARGETS (HOT WOMEN) cross your path every fricken day of the week......carpe dium my friend.
Situational openers (based upon surroundings your in) are natural. Direct approaching are bold steps and have a low to moderate success ratio. WHY IS THAT.......well for one coming up with the perfect pickup line and strategically going through all the steps is tough. Secondly targets durring the day are in a hurry, so now theres added time pressure.
STICKY POINT........master this game and YOU are way ahead of any club/bar/online pickup artist.........can't stress this enough!!!!!!!!
Didnt U Get Kicked Off Of The Pua
Dude props to making it onto the set of the pickup artist sason 2.......BUT IF MEMORY SERVES DIDN'T YOU GET KICKED OFF THE SHOW EARLY ON FOR SWEARING WAY TOO MUCH ALL WHILE BEING OBLIVIOUS TO YOUR IMPRESSION ON SETS.
I WAS HAPPY TO SEE A FELLOW MICHIGANDER ON TV AND HAD HIGH HOPES..........til I saw your game.
I am thinking enough time has passed and U been out sarging at clubs perfecting your skills.
Just curious if your using your appearance on the show as an opener or if anyone recognizes you ........2 years later.
Dude props to making it onto the set of the pickup artist sason 2.......BUT IF MEMORY SERVES DIDN'T YOU GET KICKED OFF THE SHOW EARLY ON FOR SWEARING WAY TOO MUCH ALL WHILE BEING OBLIVIOUS TO YOUR IMPRESSION ON SETS.
I WAS HAPPY TO SEE A FELLOW MICHIGANDER ON TV AND HAD HIGH HOPES..........til I saw your game.
I am thinking enough time has passed and U been out sarging at clubs perfecting your skills.
Just curious if your using your appearance on the show as an opener or if anyone recognizes you ........2 years later.
OME SAY GENERIC ADVICE LIKE SAY ANYTHING,..........PFFT YA LIKE THIS WORKS...........NOT!!!!!!
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, COOL, INTERESTING, ENGAGING worthy of a response. MASTER DAY GAME and U have a huge advantage over CLUB PUA'S.
Something funny, cool, interesting, engaging like what? What can possibly catch a strangers attention?
I'm sure if you can say something to catch a woman's attention time restraints won't be such an issue.
SAY SOMETHING FUNNY, COOL, INTERESTING, ENGAGING worthy of a response. MASTER DAY GAME and U have a huge advantage over CLUB PUA'S.
Something funny, cool, interesting, engaging like what? What can possibly catch a strangers attention?
I'm sure if you can say something to catch a woman's attention time restraints won't be such an issue.