Are there any attractive single women left?

[Stavrogin]

I agree with the poster who started a thread about the worthlessness of clubs and bars. I've been to several meet markets in my city. The women there generally act like teenagers, dress like hookers, and don't seem to want to interact with people outside of their entourage, anyway. It's perfectly cool if you guys like and date these kind of girls - whatever makes you happy. But every time I walk into a meet market, I think to myself, "Is this all there is?" I would really like a relationship with a woman, especially since I've never been in one (either a relationship or a woman).

The problem is that I have no idea where else to go. You have to go hunting where the ducks are. Other venues like coffee shops and bookstores seem to draw unattractive and/or aging women. I've spent a ton of time in these venues over the last several years, so I'm not jumping to conclusions. My school has also been hugely disappointing. It's a small school to begin with, and virtually every pretty girl there has a boyfriend. I know this to be true even of the girls I don't know personally. I've checked their status on MySpace and shared intelligence about them with guys who know them.

Then there are the dating web sites. Aside from being highly expensive, the girls on there are just dogs. I usually have to sort through 50 pages of unattractive girls to find maybe one or two attractive girls who, it turns out, don't even subscribe to the site and therefore can't receive my messages. No, I'm not being picky; I think there are a lot of pretty girls on MySpace who meet my criteria, but I don't have the time, patience, or skill to compete with the 150 guys who are on a girl's friend list for the same reason I would be.

Anyway, I'm sure some of you are probably sick of hearing me complain about my lack of progress, but I only worry more as I get older, since it seems there are just damn few attractive single women in their 30s. It's very painful to see couples out and about because it makes me think of what I've missed out on. I get upset a lot. I don't feel lonely - just left out. I don't want to end up like my 60-something neighbor who used to walk around with his head down and his hands in his pockets (playing pocket pool, no doubt). He had been dead in his pad for days. I can't help but see him as me in 40 years.

Has anyone else ever worried about these things? Did it turn out that you really had nothing to worry about? Am I freaking out for no reason? Fire away.

 

[joekerr31]

and what is with all the 30+ women with the porno star tattoo on the lower back. and they are always wearing shirts that ride up and show it off - but also show off their ample blubber around their waist - you guys all know the ones im talking about, they are everywhere.

ladies, fat on yoru butt and thighs we accept. but when you start getting a fat stomach - which genetically you are NOT predisposed towards having - come on now.

 

[MatureDJ]

Try Ukraine. There are attractive women that cannot meet decent men. Attractive women at www.mheart.ru (i.e., the equivalent of Match.com) are found at decent rate, not 1 in 1000. Attractive waitresses, receptionists, etc., will make themselves available to you and not blow you off.

Learn some Russian. Orient your financial and professional life to have lots of free time so that you can spend a lot of time traveling there. Continue to live frugally so that you can retire in your late 40's, and then you could basically live there.

I started traveling there about 9 years ago, and have had 2 bona fide relationships (although they both eventually flamed out), and have dates with perhaps 100-200 women, and some ONS's. I am so spoiled from the situation there, that I just don't even pretend to be interested in the standard divorced mommy fatty (although I still reserve the right for a ONS if she happens to be a hot cougar.)

Of course, there are still a lot of crazies, but at least a man feels like he is the game.

 

[grinder]

Of course there are. But they may be in places you would not expect. I keep finding new places that surprise me. Home Depot anyone?

If they are not engaged or married it really means “I’m looking for the next best guy to come along…”

That would be you, of course. Check out my link below.

 

[squirrels]

Dude...do we set unattainable standards because it makes it easier to accept when we fail?

I wonder if I do that subconsciously sometimes.

 

[joekerr31]

Dude...do we set unattainable standards because it makes it easier to accept when we fail?

I wonder if I do that subconsciously sometimes.

this is a valid point. but i dont think its the case.

i actually think my standards has lowered as time goes on as i'm less stringent on physical characteristics and more focused on personality and character.

but that being said, its still seems, at least in my area, that the amount of attractive women has dropped drastically in the past 10 years.

and its really dropped among the caucasian population - i'm white and tend to like white women. i find that the fit, slim hotties are rarely white women now a days - they tend to be mediterranian or asian.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Dude...do we set unattainable standards because it makes it easier to accept when we fail?

I wonder if I do that subconsciously sometimes.

I've questioned that too, but realize that I have high standards because I place high standards on myself.

I also think that, with the awesome discussions we have here on this forum, we have a better knowledge of women than your average guy. So...we spot red flags better, weed out low quality better, and not put up with the typical BS women dish out more than average.

That's going to rule out a lot of women! So..we have two choices.

1) Complain that there is no quality women out there, keep hoping and trying to meet a quality one while watching life go by.

Or.

2) Get out an enjoy life being a free single guy! Take advantage of being free. Enjoy the women that come and go through your life. Don't take then seriously and enjoy them. Keep one eye out looking for a quality gal, and one eye on all your other goals in life, like career, travel, gym, hobbies, whatever.

Failing is not being single and free. Failing is being attached to a miserable woman that sucks the life and energy out of you.

 

[squirrels]

I've questioned that too, but realize that I have high standards because I place high standards on myself.

Does that make it right? What I mean is that are you setting lofty goals you hope to one day reach? Or are you setting goals you KNOW are unattainable because it gives you an easy excuse to accept failure?

2) Get out an enjoy life being a free single guy! Take advantage of being free. Enjoy the women that come and go through your life. Don't take then seriously and enjoy them. Keep one eye out looking for a quality gal, and one eye on all your other goals in life, like career, travel, gym, hobbies, whatever.

 

[Stavrogin]

this is a valid point. but i dont think its the case.

but that being said, its still seems, at least in my area, that the amount of attractive women has dropped drastically in the past 10 years.

That's what I've been saying. I can't help but think that most attractive single women in their late 20s to early 30s must either work 90 hours a week, have too many character flaws (childlike, motor-mouthed, possessive, boring, grouchy, unintelligent) to attract guys into serious relationships, or are so emotionally scarred from previous relationships that they avoid guys. You wouldn't want a woman with one of these problems.

and its really dropped among the caucasian population - i'm white and tend to like white women. i find that the fit, slim hotties are rarely white women now a days - they tend to be mediterranian or asian.

Sad but true. (At least I think so).

Hispanic Women: I'm open to Hispanic women, but most of them just aren't educated enough (or proficient in English) for me to relate to them. Plus, a ton of them are single moms. Blech.

Asian Women: I've noticed a growing number of middle-aged white guys with Asian women. These guys also tend to be bald pencil-necks. I've asked myself why so many Asian women are single. I think a lot of guys stereotype Asian women as quiet, boring, and flat-chested. Unfortunately, every stereotype has an element of truth.

Persian Women: I don't have a Mercedes. Forget it.

 

[blueguy]

Where do you guys live? They're all over the fvcking place, here.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Does that make it right? What I mean is that are you setting lofty goals you hope to one day reach? Or are you setting goals you KNOW are unattainable because it gives you an easy excuse to accept failure?

Well, standards and goals are to different things. By standards, I simply mean, for example, I believe that you should treat other people how you want to be treated, and have respect for yourself and other people. Therefore, I would not be compatible with someone that treats others like crap, because they don't meet my standards.

Goals, on the other hand, set them high!! When I was in my 'mountain climbing' phase, my goal was to climb mount everest. Yes, that was my goal. Along the path towards this goal, I pushed myself to climb tougher and tougher mountains. Each mountain I climbed was a goal, towards a bigger goal (Everest). Well, I never climbed Everest, yet..that is. But I realize that if I had not had Everest as the ultimate goal, I probably wouldn't have achieved the 'smaller goals' along the way, which turned out to be some highly respectable climbs in the climbing world. Sure, there were mountains I failed to climb, but you only fail when you quit.

So..set goals for what you would like to achieve with your life..and standards for the people you allow in your life. Set high goals for yourself, and be truthful with your personal standards.

 

[WestCoaster]

They are out there, good looking and classy women. The trouble as you get older is finding them. The problem for me is I'm about to toss up the white flag and go back to internet dating. In my family-oriented/religious town, there isn't much cold approaching to be had. I jumped on Match.com and there's a ton.

Internet dating is my last resort, unfortunately, because my success at it has been average. I hate to say it, but all the adult dating going on right now is in cyberspace, like almost all of it.

Article from the only woman I'd trust for dating advice. She spins plates as an older divorcee. How? Internet.

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsour...dating290&date=20070729&query=Pepper+Schwartz

Pi$$es me off I have to go back to cyberspace, but that's where I'm at right now ... and the initial poster here might also have to go that route. Never not cold approach, however. That's a better route.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

",..you gotta get out where the beautiful babies are man,.."

 

[WestCoaster]

No doubt Rollo, no doubt. My job search has been frustrating this summer, extremely. I'm examining everything, my resume, my interview style, my references, everything.

You can't fish in a dry lake.

 

[speakeasy]

Persian Women: I don't have a Mercedes. Forget it.

:crackup: LMAO! I think pound for pound, Persian girls are probably the best looking women on earth, but they tend to be very insular about dating only Persians, and yeah, that Mercedes thing is right. I don't think I've ever met a Persian that wasn't loaded.

 

[Phyzzle]

I went to a wine tasting last week. Fifty people were there, including four young, non-obese women. (One was, coincidentally, Ukrainian.) She and another woman were there with their husbands. Another woman came in with a group of 4 young men (AFC orbiters? Boyfriends?) Another was quite hot, though I'm sure I've seen her before with a small child.

I know this is anecdotal tripe, but it seems like going to a seminar, or going to Betty and Jim's 4th of July kegger, you're going to a see a about 10 fun, decent-looking guys, and about 5 young women. But I'm convinced it's not just my imagination:

1. The obesity rate among women is several percent higher than among men. There are going to be more fit men than women.

2. Single moms have a dam hard time leaving the house - but not the fathers. The fathers are basically back in the game.

Obesity is real; the breakup of 2-parent households is real. There actually are going to be more unattached men than women at your average social function.

 

[speakeasy]

To the OP, if you're a virgin at the age of 38, maybe it's time to lower your standards a bit. At this point, who cares, f*ck anything just to get that stigma off your head, if she's ugly, skinny, fat, who cares. Do you really want to become a 40 year old virgin?

 

[Stavrogin]

To the OP, if you're a virgin at the age of 38, maybe it's time to lower your standards a bit. At this point, who cares, f*ck anything just to get that stigma off your head, if she's ugly, skinny, fat, who cares. Do you really want to become a 40 year old virgin?

I think you misread something - I'm 29.

I've waited too long to do it with an ugly chick. I don't think I could get a woody with any ugly chick.

 

[speakeasy]

Whoops, I had accidently glanced at your number of posts instead of age.

Personally, I could **** a woman I'm not really attracted to, unless she were repulsively ugly. I just wouldn't want to kiss them or be seen in public with them.

 

[Tazman]

You have to come in contact with them when they're on the "prowl". Most (hell, ALL) of the women I've known wouldn't allow themselves to be single, a week for them is probably torture. They'll keep a guy around as an f-buddy (especially since they know that's ultimately why we're around them) to keep their self esteem up until they latch onto someone they like, then it's "bye-bye f-buddy".

So many of them go to clubs/bars to find a guy because it's fast-paced and a socially acceptable place to be "picked up". Women there are more open to being chatted up by some stranger, it's expected, some go simply to enjoy the attention.

Quality is such a relative term. What constitues quality? How often do you see a person (woman) when she's being her "real" self? You'll never know until you spend a sufficient amount of time with them. I've seen women who had me convinced they were truly good women, only to find out they like guys who beat them up, enjoy adultery, etc...

You have to simply reserve judgement until you spend time with them unless you can see that something is obviously very wrong.