Are the any (successful) late bloomers here?

[Eternal_water]

Is there anyone on this site who only got the hang of being good socially and good with the girls mid 20's or later?

I'm approaching 24 and still unable to make proper friends ie. more than just talking to people at work. Actually meeting up outside of work environments just to go to the pub or something.

Or able to get dates with girls, still virgin.

These things seem so natural to other people and completely alien to me.

Are there any others here who "bloomed" late?

 

[switch7]

Hey man. I'm not a late bloomer but thought id say something anyway.

If you are having problems socially rather than just with getting women, then my advice would be to figure out what your social problems are first without worrying about the women bit yet..

Most guys already have a group of male friends that they have grown up with or met along the way outside of work life.. Is that something you don't have? Can you identify what you think your problems are socially??

 

[Eternal_water]

Well most people generally tend to have different interests than me so usually when people talk about things I have no idea what they are talking about and get left out and have nothing to add to the conversations.

So same issue with approaching girls, no idea what to talk to them about.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Definitely a late bloomer here. I'm 29 now, and it wasn't until about 26 or so when I started to just "get it." I honestly just stopped caring so much, and it came to me how to act around women. Everything just felt a lot more natural. There's no need to be nervous, girls are just people.

Trust me, you'll know when it happens.

 

[switch7]

Well most people generally tend to have different interests than me so usually when people talk about things I have no idea what they are talking about and get left out and have nothing to add to the conversations.

So same issue with approaching girls, no idea what to talk to them about.

You can have different interests and connect with people. I don't have any of the same interests as my friends - all my friends like football and that is probably there only interest, I hate it. Shared interests are a 1 way of meeting people and starting a conversation, but that won't start a friendship alone.

There needs to be some sparks of humour, fun and outgoing behaviour, this is what attracts people. Men and women want someone that brightens their life and take the general monotony out of everyday. So if this is what you are missing, then this is what you need to work on.. How does that sound?

One other thing is that once you don't give a fvck what anyone else thinks, once you know who you are and you are ticking all the boxes of being the best self you can be. People will flock to you.

 

[thelonewolflegend]

Okay so explain then how we work on those things? So people will b our friends

 

[Aware]

There needs to be some sparks of humour, fun and outgoing behaviour, this is what attracts people. Men and women want someone that brightens their life and take the general monotony out of everyday. So if this is what you are missing, then this is what you need to work on.. How does that sound?

Do you think it's impossible to attract people without displaying outgoing behavior?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Didnt start seeing actual progress till 21. Lost virginity at 19 and still took two years to stop being clueless.

 

[LMFAO]

We are all late bloomers. Girls start at this game sh!t at the age of 13 with all their magazines and chit chat, teaching them the workings of game. Most men at the age of 18 don't know how to act, by the age of 25 they think they do even if they don't.

It's basically a game where women grow up into from their infancy and have a huge head start in, while men are too busy with other things naively thinking it will take care of itself - thinking a girl of their dreams will suddenly come out of no where and will be all perfect.

Most men grow up thinking women are all sweet and innocent, like from a fairy tail of butterflies, and once they realise that they are just selfish beings it is like a shock to their souls, get depressed but the alpha males are the ones who grow out of it and live for themselves rather than for others. They work for themselves, they amuse themselves, they take care of themselves with nice clothes, exercise and an haircut, and they strive to make themselves a better person. Women are just there to join the ride.

So no you're not alone in this, there are many here who haven't had a proper girlfriend in their mid 20s and later. The good news is that the red pill is always there for the taking, the question is do you want it hard enough?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

What are you interested in? What do you like? You can always expand your interests, but don't start watching shows you couldn't care less about or learning about stuff that you find utterly insipid for the sake of 'fitting in'. Just because millions of people give a sh1t about the Kardashians and Kanye West's latest antics does not mean that you ought to follow the herd and stay up to date on the lives of these buffoons.

Small talk is a skill (and your entry ticket to a wider social circle). Learn how to get good at it. Research it extensively. Observe how others partake in it, especially those who seem particularly skilled at it (my guess is you have at least one at your workplace). Absorb it through mimicry. Get a feel for it. Rid yourself of the idea that there has to be a concrete reason to talk to people. Most people are quite receptive to good energy - cultivate this within yourself. Assign yourself homework assignments like trying to engage co-workers in progressively longer and longer conversations. Try to do the same in public venues. Use your phone to record yourself. Critique yourself afterwards when you play it back to yourself. Rinse and repeat until you feel you have made significant progress.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.yourcoach.be/blog/wp-con...e-How-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Is there anyone on this site who only got the hang of being good socially and good with the girls mid 20's or later?

I'm approaching 24 and still unable to make proper friends ie. more than just talking to people at work. Actually meeting up outside of work environments just to go to the pub or something.

Or able to get dates with girls, still virgin.

These things seem so natural to other people and completely alien to me.

Are there any others here who "bloomed" late?

I had slept with 1 girl until I was 25.

I have slept with many more since.

You are not born with many talents/skills/abilities.

I was so lost for so long when it came to girls. I never had a issue making friends but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to seduce a woman and make her want to sleep with me.

That all changed when I got into PUA/Game.

Take small steps. It all seems hard at first. Build upon your success. Learn from your failures. Keep asking questions on So Suave. Keep learning new skills (apart from women) ie: sports, art, music, etc. Stay in shape and eat healthy. Do what is conducive of improving yourself and getting better.

If you want better women -- become a better man yourself.

If you have AA do this program. It will help you like crazy.