Are steep, immediate changes in IL normal?

[The LadyKiller]

I haven't read "The System" or any of those sort of pick-up books, but I am aware of the general "Interest levels," ranging from 0 to 100 percent. In general, it seems that when a girl's interest begins to go downhill, it does so gradually, which is why we often struggled to notice it.

Well, over the past month, I have experienced the extreme opposite of that with a couple of girls. After meeting them very recently - when I'm out with friends, etc., I'd say their interest rate is around 60% with the potential for more. They show some IOI signs - compliments, kino, laughing along with my jokes, and even insisting we go out soon. A few days pass by, and......0%. They won't respond to texts (when I try to make plans) or, if I run into them in person, they'll barely say hi. And these are girls I've met more than once, through social circles or a friend of a friend.

Why the extreme and sudden drop-off? I know IL can fluctuate, but this is very odd. I don't follow them on social media (and vice versa), so there's no chance that's ruining things. I don't say or do anything stupid, so there isn't a major gaffe. Thoughts?

 

[amazingswayze]

Girls have so many options. Either they forgot about you or they met another guy that's more interesting. I think girls flake so much and act distant all because they have so much choice in the dating game. It is what it is.

 

[El Payaso]

Maybe they met someone else. Maybe their dad or brother died. Maybe they failed a major exam. Maybe they just got news that they have cancer. Maybe their loan application got denied. Maybe they failed a class.

Who knows? Who cares? Women's IL drop all the time. There only thing you can control is your reaction to it and that's simply moving on without dwelling on it.

 

[GS750]

Asking the "why?" is a waste of time. You'll never get a straight answer from her either.

 

[skinnyguy]

It's discouraging for guys to get a lot of interest from women only to see nothing happen.

This kind of thing has led to mass amounts of desperate betas doing anything they can to get puss. It's a rigged game, and most men are losing.

 

[nismo-4]

How far you get with a woman depends on her interest.

If her interest is dropping or drops hard, more than likely a better man has entered the picture.

This board keeps on advocating nexting women all the time, but nexting women till kingdom come doesn't in itself make you alpha. You just refuse to play the beta role, which is cool. If all the women you nexted was because a drop in interest, you just saved them the trouble of having to cut you off. They may be upset only at losing an orbiter.

If a woman's interest drops in you suddenly, either:

1. You f**ked up in the attraction process.
2. She's seeing someone else.
3. She was leading you on or just wanted attention.
4. You're beta backsliding
5. You aren't as attractive as her other options.

 

[bigneil]

Nismo's points are correct.

Adding my two cents, a woman will go through cycles in her relationship with you. You must know her for a few months to observe them. Once established, the cycle will repeat. Never become too concerned with her vanishing here and there. Instead, observe her long term behavior and explore your other options during her down time. The worst thing you can do is try to force her to be on your schedule, or to become overly concerned with her going distant. That's akin to jerking the wheel when your SUV drifts out of the lane. All of your motions should be smooth, including your corrections. Chances are, she only thinks she has a better option because she's believing his lies.

 

[thatfeel]

What if the better option is one of us, just playing "the game"? I'm confused why the better option has to undoubtedly be lying...

 

[ucde]

Here's just my two cents, its a mystery to me as well.

You're almost bamboozling yourself by believing in the concept of Interest Level as something visible/measurable, and the way you mention it in your post, makes me think "seduced - by a theory". The 60% figure is insanity, to believe you can know that.

Desire is a mystery. The human heart is a mystery. One day you may like a girl, the other day not so much - what caused it? Is it not mysterious, even to you and me? You have 3 girls you can see, but you like one of them best -- what caused it?

Desire is mysterious, because the heart is a mystery. What goes on in a woman's heart that makes you less interesting? Corr, that sounds like it could be a million and one things.

They show some IOI signs - compliments, kino, laughing along with my jokes, and even insisting we go out soon.

But you see, weak-spirited women just do these things by default to engender positive male attention towards themselves. Recently a close friend of mine was passed over for a high-paying job in sales, which all his sales associate friends told him he would certainly get. He believed them.

He didn't realize that he was working with other salesman and they were all 'selling' him on the dream of him landing the job. Was passed over with negative reviews. Prior to hearing the news, he was totally 'sold' on all the positive feedback everyone was giving him.

You're probably swimming in waters where people's integrity and instinct for truth is not terribly well developed. Until you can ascertain that, just take their signals lightly. Women give out numbers like candy in some cities, and they even give out hugs and make-outs and all that stuff. Who cares. You haven't hit the bedrock connection level with that kind of thing. Generally I know I've connected when conversations take a serious turn and the woman shares some vulnerable information about herself/her interests, but thats the kind of guy I am and you may be different and/or go for different chicks, or connect differently. The "fun, flirty" energy becomes the "fun, flakey" energy when time and distance and other guys come into the picture. That's why I try to go for the deeper energies, which in women generally are often sadder and more subdued energies, less party-hardy type energies. Its no guarantee but if you go deeper than 'fun', (which they often don't want, so not universal advice), chances are you may be in her mind after the party's over. Or not.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Could be any number of things and yes a young woman will quite literally have the world at her feet but that don’t last forever

Once they hit mid 20’s it’s all downhill, we on the other hand will still be able to bang 21 year olds when we are in our late 30’s probably more so than we can when we are younger

Being a young red blooded male these days can be frustrating, there are so many variables to women and attraction the “interest level” isn’t really able to provide an accurate reading

Happened to me last week A brand new plate of mine her interest level seemed to be sky high she was calling me every night wanting to arrange dates asap blah blah

I go away on this weekend and she drops off the face of the earth, literally haven’t heard from her since Thursday

Why !?! .....god only knows

Il shoot her one last message tonight see what happens if not she’s got to be deleted simple as that

you cant let these things get you down

If single its entirely possible you will go through spells where you won’t get any pu$$y for months ( possibly even years) then all of a sudden boom you get once piece of tail and next thing youve got 4 plates going , options opening up everywhere and your wondering how you couldn’t get laid before

Gaming women can quite literally be the easiest thing in the world or it can be the hardest on any given day

That is unfortunately how it goes

 

[The LadyKiller]

Thanks for the responses. Like you guys said, figuring this out is a total mystery. What threw me off is not the drop-off in interest, but the steep rate that it dropped off. Strange for a girl you meet via your social circle or through friends to go from at least somewhat interested to pretending you don't exist in an instant (some can barely say hi).

If a woman's interest drops in you suddenly, either:

1. You f**ked up in the attraction process.
2. She's seeing someone else.
3. She was leading you on or just wanted attention.
4. You're beta backsliding
5. You aren't as attractive as her other options.

I bolded the answer I feel my scenarios mostly fall into. I refuse to be an orbiter, so the moment I pick up on her attention-wh*ring tactics, I leave. I will still be respectful and remain myself in interactions, but won't go the extra mile and won't invest much (if any) time or energy. And because these HB's only wanted attention, they'll disappear.

 

[GS750]

Orbit land is no place to be, better to just drop off the map. Not to worry though, for every smart guy that refuses to be an orbiter there's 10 willing to be jerked around.

 

[bigneil]

I refuse to be an orbiter, so the moment I pick up on her attention-wh*ring tactics, I leave. I will still be respectful and remain myself in interactions, but won't go the extra mile and won't invest much (if any) time or energy. And because these HB's only wanted attention, they'll disappear.

This is the best approach. It takes a few weeks and you'll forget them. For whatever reason, having sex with other women doesn't erase their memory, probably because we want what we can't have, but at least you escape with your pride.

 

[BrainDamage92]

I have noticed there is The Moment. If you miss The Moment (for whatever reason), you're in for The Game. But The Moment comes soon so there isnt really a battle there, only a horny girl who thinks you look good (but wont admit it, they call it "aura" or whatever, but its looks only, and maybe the way your voice sounds).

All these capital letters sound like a religion, and the wrong kind of religion but its true lel.

I miss The Moment so often over some stage fright or some objective thingy its not even funny but I will get better since you cant do no wrong like, a failure in this field is not a failure in life.

So it's always good to just touch rather than talk but I like the good show of "female BS thinking" so I often talk with them alot more than I should.

I would say sex is not the focal point in my life, because I know a one time thing is pale compared to what it is when you are high on love aswell, but prestige, what can you do, the more you sleep with the better. And I've gotten too smart for the love thingy so...

 

[foreverAFC]

i deal with this all day long at work, im pretty sure that the majority of women who display interest one moment and then ignore you the next moment are females who are stuck in relationships and they are looking for ego boosts. they want to know you that you like them but also dont want you to get too close because of the shtty relatonship/marriage they are stuck in.