Are some situations just not worth analyzing?

[JoeBlack]

See what you guys think of this.

I meet this girl from online. She is actually local and we have mutual friends.

We get on just fine and its all pretty tame. A few drinks, she drops me off home. I could have kiss closed, but I choose not to... I.e act a bit aloof and say cool, I'll speak to you soon.

She texts me the next morning and makes a joke about something random, so I figure the interest is there.

I invite her over to my house for a DVD and some food. She at first doesn't answer yes or no, just makes a joke about something again. So I joke back and don;t mention it again. I wouldn't have asked again. She texts me the same day saying are we still on? I could have said no, I am busy now, but... I got my parents house to myself this week so it would be a shame to not take the opportinuty to get her round.

So I go yeah, come round.

She comes round. Food, good convo, some funny moments and some kino/kissing. She leaves about midnight.

She texts again the next morning, some small talk.

Then... BANG.... she has gone REALLY distant... REAL wierd. I can't think what I did wrong. ok, maybe I could have acted a little more like she was round to hang out, I guessed it seemed a proper date, but.... I definately did not act AFC!

I am just curious as to if anyone things I could have done anything different? or... should I just stop analysing this and admit some girls are... well.... wierd

Be interested in your thoughts.

 

[Freddy1]

Looks like maybe she has buyer's remorse.
Things are moving too fast for her.

 

[Vulpine]

Assume the sale.

Don't let this sh!t test shake your confidence.

Whatever you do, don't start chasing her, you'll look desperate. What's more, who cares if she's distant? Shut up and enjoy the silence... could it possibly be that she's "low maintenance"? It gives you time to work on other plates.

Like they say in cards:

Study long... study WRONG!

 

[MacAvoy]

Also texting is bad. Get out of the habbit of doing it. Its similiar to long phone conversations in the bible, something to avoid. A DJ doesn't need to hide behind technology to ask a women out. Do it in person or over the phone so theres none of this she didn't reply.

 

[BobFuest]

have you ever thought that you might not be the only boy "asking her round"? maybe she has got another that shes interested in.

 

[WestCoaster]

Answer: ALL situations aren't worth analyzing with women. This is the biggest guffaw of this site, men (young, old, single, divorced) analyzing each and every thing a woman does. Go the articles from the sosuave.com home page and read "Kiss of Death" on why you shouldn't analyze what women do.

Women act on emotion, a good man should often (not always) act on logic.

Women will drop you because they've had a bad hair day ... or a good hair day; because they broke a nail, or because their hamster died. Or because they just feel like it.

I guess if there was no questioning and analysis, this board wouldn't exist.

I used to freak out in my AFC days. I remember in college a gal I'd dated for a month just up and quit talking to me. I analyzed it for months. Why did she do this? Because at the time it felt like the thing to do, I suppose.

Paralysis by analysis. Most guys will say don't text, text; call, don't call ... tips are always good, but I'll give you one biggie: Do NOT analyze how a woman acts. It will get you nowhere. Accept her actions as they are, if you choose not to put up with it, move on to another woman. Otherwise, let her simmer for a few days and call her. If she's still a freak-a-zoid (most likely she is, women only get weirder, not better), move on to someone less weird. Newsflash: Your next date will be eqaully as flakey.

Don't analyze women and their actions.

 

[MightyMate]

All are not worth.

 

[Charm]

I had this happen in one relationship. Things were really simmering. I picked up, first date we had a nice kiss close, second date I had her halfway undressed and lots of making out, about to F-close and shes tells me "Not tonight im on my period, unless you want to be covered in my blood" which grossed me out, anyhow, kiss close after dropping her off, then i called about 4-5 days later, no respone, and she never called me back and we never hung out again. I called a few more times but she was young and immature and I think she may felt things were going too quick but i dont really know. She was only an HB6.5 so i moved on quick.

 

[BobFuest]

I had this happen in one relationship. Things were really simmering. I picked up, first date we had a nice kiss close, second date I had her halfway undressed and lots of making out, about to F-close and shes tells me "Not tonight im on my period, unless you want to be covered in my blood" which grossed me out, anyhow, kiss close after dropping her off, then i called about 4-5 days later, no respone, and she never called me back and we never hung out again. I called a few more times but she was young and immature and I think she may felt things were going too quick but i dont really know. She was only an HB6.5 so i moved on quick.

my answer is alway: i got some towels and a condom right over here..

 

[flexion_]

I'd just chill out for now. You've kissed her... she kissed back. Just be fun and don't add any pressure to the situation.

 

[JoeBlack]

Thanks for the advice, all good stuff.

And you guys are right. I am not overly interested anyway, just curious about her actions... I will completely pull back and go find some other girls and if it comes it comes

 

[WestCoaster]

You wrote:

*just curious about her actions* ... also a mind-killer. Don't even go there. Just take it at face value: women just act on emotion and do what feels good. Go on to someone else or a new hobby.

Being curious is as bad as analyzing. It will get you nowhere. Even if you did find the answer to her strange behavior, it wouldn't do any good. It would just drive you more batty. Women don't even know half the time why they act the way they do.

 

[JoeBlack]

lol, I hear ya.

I actually ended up cooling on this one, just wasnlt worth the effort....

 

[Latinoman]

You didn't try to even have sex with her?

 

[JoeBlack]

Nope.

I realise I should have just been way more forward...

To be honest, she was a really shy girl and levels of interest seemed average, it just seemed like way too hard work..

But.. once I had her round, I should have just been really direct with her.... Don;t worry, I will take this on board for the next girl I have rounf.

 

[Latinoman]

The sure way to get a woman fall crazily for you (as in lust)...is a combination of

1- Great Kissing
2- Good attitude/confidence/ and playful cuckiness (not to be confused with arrogance)
3- Some indiference combined with some compliments
4- Some well placed AFC behavior, combined with your natural DJ behavior (in a nutshell #3 and #4 are practically the same)
5- Great Sex

Combine all those things and you are going to drive her crazy. At least for a period of time. Now, you cannot be wasting time. And in your case you did. She was in your house and you didn't try to phuck her. You tried to play it cool.

Dude...don't play it cool...unless you are REALLY cool. Coolness cannot be faked. You are either cool or you are not. Women sense that stuff.

Now...that does not guarrantee you are going to keep her for a LTR as it takes other skills for that.

I personally avoid ON-LINE women. And certainly women that do the IM crap.

Why? It is not different than trying to laid a woman that is in a bar surrounded by several men as on-line she could potentially be chatting with multiple men.

If you do some of the techniques above on the ON-LINE women...she can either go crazy for you or go looking for a self-esteem boost (e.g. IM several men or chatting on-line with several men).

One of the places I'm very successful finding women are while taking public transportation (e.g. bus, subway, etc.).

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...my above post was written in the hurry as I'm working and typing. I can expand and add other things at a later date.

By the way...and I'm curious...has Neil Strauss or Mr. Mystery written about getting laid?

I sense they write a lot about getting women interested into talking (or giving them their telephone number). But what about "seducing" them into giving themselves to those guys?

And what about the venues? I sense they use lot of bars and nightclubs...what about the bus or train or grocery or mall?

I'm curious as I have glanced to some of their theories.

 

[d9930380]

You've been playing hard to get, now she's doing the same.

 

[squirrels]

See what you guys think of this.

I meet this girl from online. She is actually local and we have mutual friends.

We get on just fine and its all pretty tame. A few drinks, she drops me off home. I could have kiss closed, but I choose not to... I.e act a bit aloof and say cool, I'll speak to you soon.

She texts me the next morning and makes a joke about something random, so I figure the interest is there.

I invite her over to my house for a DVD and some food. She at first doesn't answer yes or no, just makes a joke about something again. So I joke back and don;t mention it again. I wouldn't have asked again. She texts me the same day saying are we still on? I could have said no, I am busy now, but... I got my parents house to myself this week so it would be a shame to not take the opportinuty to get her round.

So I go yeah, come round.

She comes round. Food, good convo, some funny moments and some kino/kissing. She leaves about midnight.

She texts again the next morning, some small talk.

Then... BANG.... she has gone REALLY distant... REAL wierd. I can't think what I did wrong. ok, maybe I could have acted a little more like she was round to hang out, I guessed it seemed a proper date, but.... I definately did not act AFC!

Yeah you did...when you "Acted aloof" when you wanted to kiss her, because you were worried about the "right thing to do". Then you're debating whether to have her over or not because you're worried about "seeming too compliant."

BTW...you've got her over your house, alone, your parents are away...what HAPPENED? No close? It's very possible she decided you weren't going to satisfy her...and/or found another guy who shows promise.

Is it worth analyzing after the fact? Maybe...but I'd say you screwed up by analyzing in the middle of the date(s).

 

[JoeBlack]

Thanks guys, appreciate the feedback..

You are right, I thought about things too much and when you think about something.... you analyse it too much.... and then you start doubting yourself.

I'll learn for next time and there will be a next time soon trust me. Noth with this girl, but with another I am sure.

Latino - You're right. Most of Neil's stuff is a story about his experiences and whilst he does talk about getting people back, most of it is focused around picking girls up in clubs and bars.. David Deangelo is pretty good at going into the specifics of back at your place etc.

Hey, you got to get the beginning stuff first right though huh?

Cheers for everyone that contributed. I will let you know how my next victin. erm... girl goes