Are most on here looking for hookups or anyone here looking for a quality long-term relationship?

[Sebastian0001]

Just wondering, I read a lot of things here about banging women and ****ing them asap and in different positions and that is all good. I've done the hookup phase and after a while, I wonder if it would be more fulfilling to be with a person who is truly awesome (no, not "one-itis").

I know this mindset can help get a whole ton of women, but can it get the few women that are actually worth it? The divorce rate is crazy in this country at 50% so maybe being married is just not worth it either and the grass is just appearing greener on the other side in this moment to me?

 

[logicallefty]

I think it's a mix. Of course every man is different on this site but if I had to sum up your question as generically as possible, it would be "There are a lot of men on SS who would prefer a long term quality relationship if they could secure one. However, they understand the dating game for what it is and are OK with short term hookups in the mean time, and will not settle for a low quality woman just so they don't have to be single"

 

[EyeBRollin]

Mix of both on here. It all depends on what you want

 

[spred]

Long term. If in this process I can get a bang or fwb, great

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I’ll go and say long term and I feel like it’s the same for most people here.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hookups UNTIL u find someone u like enough for a ltr

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Just wondering, I read a lot of things here about banging women and ****ing them asap and in different positions and that is all good. I've done the hookup phase and after a while, I wonder if it would be more fulfilling to be with a person who is truly awesome (no, not "one-itis").

I know this mindset can help get a whole ton of women, but can it get the few women that are actually worth it? The divorce rate is crazy in this country at 50% so maybe being married is just not worth it either and the grass is just appearing greener on the other side in this moment to me?

I practice abstinence for long periods of time (along with NoFap) and I've done plenty in my younger days that I just don't crave the hook-up culture anymore. Never one time did I finish up after an ONS feeling fulfilled and content.

At this point in my life, I find more value in genuine and uplifting connections. And potentially a woman that can complement my life and be next to me doing great things in life.

Plus, yes, I do want a family of my own.


Modern Man Advice

 

[2Rocky]

I shopped around and tried a few on after my divorce. Enough to know I could get another if my next relationship didn't work out. I kept one regular I saw monthly for a couple of years and she eventually became my only. She earned that position and it wasn't because of any "making me wait" or LMR.

 

[Sebastian0001]

I shopped around and tried a few on after my divorce. Enough to know I could get another if my next relationship didn't work out. I kept one regular I saw monthly for a couple of years and she eventually became my only. She earned that position and it wasn't because of any "making me wait" or LMR.

what's LMR?

 

[Sebastian0001]

I practice abstinence for long periods of time (along with NoFap) and I've done plenty in my younger days that I just don't crave the hook-up culture anymore. Never one time did I finish up after an ONS feeling fulfilled and content.

At this point in my life, I find more value in genuine and uplifting connections. And potentially a woman that can complement my life and be next to me doing great things in life.

Plus, yes, I do want a family of my own.


Modern Man Advice

what is NoFAP and ONS? So, what's your plan going forward? Use DJ methods to get a serious relationship?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Personally, I’d enjoy meeting a gal that inspires me by checking off enough boxes to think in terms of a relationship.

However, I would rather recycle some exes and date a few new girls, than to be in just any relationship simply to be in a relationship

 

[DonJuanjr]

Never one time did I finish up after an ONS feeling fulfilled and content.

Really? Were you looking at it from the perspective of enjoying the bonding during the act? When I didn't have any reason to believe I'd see my fwb after the first time, I was still fulfilled with the bonding during sex. Even if it was only a ONS.

 

[Konada]

Just wondering, I read a lot of things here about banging women and ****ing them asap and in different positions and that is all good. I've done the hookup phase and after a while, I wonder if it would be more fulfilling to be with a person who is truly awesome (no, not "one-itis").

I know this mindset can help get a whole ton of women, but can it get the few women that are actually worth it? The divorce rate is crazy in this country at 50% so maybe being married is just not worth it either and the grass is just appearing greener on the other side in this moment to me?

You have to play the field enough to come to the point of knowing the grass isn't going to get any greener. So yes, it will help you to identify the women who are worth it. And this point is different for everyone.

Eventually, I realized that I was much happier alone than dating multiple women. Truth is, majority of modern women have nothing to offer beyond their looks. Took me 2 years to realize this, and when I did, I met my current fiancee and recognized the value she brought to my life in terms of growth.

Never looked back since.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

what is NoFAP and ONS? So, what's your plan going forward? Use DJ methods to get a serious relationship?

NoFap generally speaking is a community that supports typically men to overcome porn/masturbation addiction. Men often use it to refer to the practice of distancing themselves from masturbation.

ONS stands for One Night Stand.

My plan is the same, I practice abstinence and no masturbation (also haven't watched porn in over 10 yrs) as a mindset building practice. Meaning, I am rewiring my brain on how I experience and perceive sexual pleasure. There are no real "scientific" studies/data to prove any health benefits of semen retention so I stay away from discussing that argument and focus on the mindset-building aspect of it.

I don't use DJ methods, at least not consciously. I am who I am with the women I interact with, but that confidence and "game" is just simply part of me. I am always honing my skills but I just don't have to proactively pull out my DJ guidebook. If someone doesn't want to be part of my life, I show them the door.

So to answer your question, my plan is to continue walking the path I am on. Focus on me, my future, my goals, my company, my hobbies and passions, my family, my friends. I trust that soon a woman on that same wavelength will cross paths with me. But above all, I trust and surrender to what is meant for me, if that is being single and focusing on my dreams and goal, then be it. I welcome it.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Really? Were you looking at it from the perspective of enjoying the bonding during the act? When I didn't have any reason to believe I'd see my fwb after the first time, I was still fulfilled with the bonding during sex. Even if it was only a ONS.

I can't bond with someone I don't know, trust, respect, or have a mental/emotional investment. ONS are different than FWB. I never mentioned FWB in my post, that would naturally be a slightly different interaction.

Modern Man Advice

 

[SargeMaximus]

Ime relationships come out of good fwb situations with great sexual chemistry. Friend zone comes out of “friends first”

 

[PRW63]

There is talk about LTRs but very little that is practical & functional that would lead toward it. Most of what you would read is antithetical and destructive toward building an LTR. The term LTR is used, but "marriage" is practically a banned word. The thought processes that dominate the board are Postmodernism and Dark-Triad "thought processes".

Not a slap at anyone,...just my analytical observation of what I see.

A less formal description would be,..It's all about dipping the PeePee in the WeeWee to get a little WhooHoo,...and that is about it.

 

[Kotaix]

It probably has a lot to do with upbringing. My parents are still married and happy together after almost 50 years, and because of that I've always been more interested in having a relationship over banging as many women as possible. But I can see how guys coming from a broken home wouldn't believe in relationships working out long term.

Can the strategy of banging a ton of women get you someone good? Yes. But you have to realize when you have someone who is worth keeping around, and you also need to realize when you're trying to make something work that is destined to failure. A lot of guys focus way too much on looks and will overlook the most egregious red flags or low interest if the woman is super hot.

 

[PRW63]

It probably has a lot to do with upbringing. My parents are still married and happy together after almost 50 years, and because of that I've always been more interested in having a relationship over banging as many women as possible. But I can see how guys coming from a broken home wouldn't believe in relationships working out long term.

Some good points

 

[DonJuanjr]

I can't bond with someone I don't know, trust, respect, or have a mental/emotional investment. ONS are different than FWB. I never mentioned FWB in my post, that would naturally be a slightly different interaction.

Modern Man Advice

I don't think you fully comprehended what I was saying. As far as I knew at that time, it was just a ons. I think there's different types of bonding.