Are most AFCs religious?

[d9930380]

I'm in the process of getting over this brainwashing but it's difficult.

But I certainly can't get it out of my mind that having sex with a "random" or even a girl after a few dates is wrong.

I have other issues to deal with too but I'm beginning to think that's the real problem. I don't neccessarily put girls on a pedestal but I do put sex on one. I certainly don't feel too good afterwords.

 

[Jariel]

I'm not religious and yet I don't feel right about casual sex either. I don't respect women who give it up too easily and I don't respect myself for it. It makes me feel weak willed, I am extremely cautious about STDs and slvts literally turn me off! An easy woman is literally no more attractive than a fat chick to me.

Overcoming AFC brainwashing isn't about fvcking every chick you can. In fact, guys like that are often very insecure and use sex to give them some kind of validation. They often grow desperate and dependent on sex and go chasing after women, THAT'S AFC!

Stick to your values, but at the same time don't be embarrassed by your sexuality. As a man, we get urges, we have desires and we shouldn't have to hide them and when you are with women you like, flirt with them!

 

[DarkChaos]

Well, if it's just sex that's a hang up, you don't necessarily have to have sex with every girl you meet or anything. Being confident and so on attracts people for relationships or sex, it's up to you what you do with it.

 

[Mac_Laaarry]

The closer you get to god, the more your conscience starts to play a role. When one doesn't have faith they do whatever they want and feel nothing, but those with faith feel the wrong in their actions. Don't let anyone here or elsewhere tell you that you've been brainwashed because of your belief in Jesus Christ. I'm not perfect by any means, we all sin and fall short but the key is to put in effort towards what you know in your heart is right. YES I still have sex but I'm really starting to take a deeper look at things. Sex was a gift that has now gotten out of hand, look at all the negative effects that come from this quick pleasure. Countless diseases, unplanned pregnancies, etc. all these things have a drastic effect on your life. I really need to leave right now so I'll post my remaining thoghts later on.

 

[manbearpig]

Religion is for people who are too afraid to deal with the fact they're gonna die someday, and thats that. So they believe a fairy tale about how when they die they'll actually just go to heaven.

Or they're just conforming to social expectations and don't really believe the **** at heart. A lot of people who call themselves religious are actually this way IMO. I've known a bunch.

 

[Mac_Laaarry]

The closer you get to god, the more your conscience starts to play a role. When one doesn't have faith they do whatever they want and feel nothing, but those with faith feel the wrong in their actions. Don't let anyone here or elsewhere tell you that you've been brainwashed because of your belief in Jesus Christ. I'm not perfect by any means, we all sin and fall short but the key is to put in effort towards what you know in your heart is right. YES I still have sex but I'm really starting to take a deeper look at things. Sex was a gift that has now gotten out of hand, look at all the negative effects that come from this quick pleasure. Countless diseases, unplanned pregnancies, etc. all these things have a drastic effect on your life. I really need to leave right now so I'll post my remaining thoghts later on.

 

[manbearpig]

You posted the same thing again Mac Laaarry.

And if you think those without faith aren't ethical, you're dead wrong. I'm an atheist, and I definitely have my own set of morals. They may not be religiously derived but so ****ing what? Religion doesn't have a monopoly on morality.

 

[Desdinova]

Could we try to help this guy instead of debating religion?

Moved to AE.

 

[Desdinova]

There's another thread about this very subject here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=104738

 

[d9930380]

manbearpig - I wish I agreed with you. It certainly would have made my life easier. But I don't even though I pretend/try whatever to do.

Funny thing was - I grew up in a religious household - and never believed. I used to make fun of it. I was into Star Trek, that was my religion. It's only when I got into the real world and saw the consequences of NOT believing did I start to change my mind.

Relativism (putting oneself at the center of your universe - what your left with really) at it's core states there is no absolute morality and this allows people to lie, cheat, murder whatever do anything that will benefit them if they can justify it to themselves.

We can see the consequences of that happening now (slowly) - again it will take years for our society to change it's ways as it's morality (even for atheists) has been greatly influenced by centuries of Christianity but as we slowly move towards relativlism - anything goes and I'm not sure I want to live in that world.

Now we have civil laws - yes - but I'm not sure if they will be strong enough. They certainly don't seem to be.

Anyway i don't really want a religious debate - It's not the forum and I respect your views.

 

[speed dawg]

I'm a Christian and I try to use the Bible as my guide through life. I haven't made a decision about what is right in regards to sex, but the Bible says don't do it until you're in the covenant of marriage. I DO know that one-night stands are wrong and promiscuity is a sin. I also believe that there's a clear cut right and wrong, I just haven't come across the answer yet.

 

[Bible_Belt]

God made sex, too, you know. But like everything else, you have to strike a balance that is right for your own life. The bible itself does not specifically say 'no sex before marriage,' most of those ideas came from the uptight church hypocrites years later. I would question the definition of "marriage" and expand it to what we see as a LTR. I don't agree with hinging religious morality on a government document. It was a government that executed Jesus - they are the bad guys. Today, many governments are trying to give or giving marriage licenses to gay couples. That does not suddenly make it moral. Regardless of what side one takes in the debate, the morality is bigger than the government document, so I think most people are wrong to cast the "living in sin" label on a couple who does not have a government license to be together.

(old post of mine)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=93733&highlight=song+solomon

Much of the anti-sex message of the NT is actually speaking out against the giant orgies that were frequently part of pagan worship. The Bible seems down on sex in part because the religions that competed with Christianity 2000 years ago had sex as a central part of their worship. As those competing religions died out, the church started using control over sex and personal life to empower themselves as an institution. But imho the idea that sex is bad is not in the bible. For example, the Song of Solomon is praise of sex, not condemnation.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=26&chapter=1&version=31

 

[bbestar]

The answer is...Not in my family it isn't.. My whole family was raised in the traditional roman catholic church in the philippines... Not the watered down version you see here in America. I tell you I can remember when I was four years old who was boss... My dad will step on you, anything that happens is automatically your fault, I never seen my dad kiss my mom in public or hold hands, there hasn't been any wedding anniversaries in the past 23 years, and it is either his way or the highway, and there is no highway. He is the commander the alpha, you can say he has a backbone of steel.

Its not a problem with any religion... I haven't heard of a religion that said... worship women, treat them nice and let them step on you, and buy them flowers and stuff, and be an average frustrated chump. no offense but.. the problem is you or who ever raised you.

and once you realize you have a problem, that is the first step to your goal

 

[PumpNightmare]

I doubt it's religion. At least in my case. I was never touched a bible or walked in a church in my life. I think my problem is that my dad died when I was 12 and my mom raised me the best she could from there. In any case, I grew up with not much self confidence in myself and never had the balls to approach any girls, even up till today. I tried bars a few times, but no luck there. Being under the influence doesn't count either, IMO. One day I'll get there. Working out now has been helping me gain self confidence (and feeling great). I simply need to approach a HB and say hi....something.

 

[Bonhomme]

I grew up rather religious and anti-sexual, but as I matured I found those dogmatic "morals" often went against what my heart was actually telling me was right.

It took quite a while to deprogram, if you will, but right now I not only feel that "random" sex isn't wrong in and of itself, but that it is sometimes a very positive and beautiful thing, and to deny yourself and your hookup can be wrong.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

this thread title is the worst generalisation I've read here in a while. Are you insinuating that religion makes someone angry frustrated and a chump? I would think quite the contrary and that religion creates balance in the majority of people. Dont throw around words

 

[Bonhomme]

I don't think religion makes someone an AFC, per se, OR a better or worse person, for that matter, but anti-sexual dogma, if that's part of one's religious upbringing, can definitely mess up one's dealings with the opposite sex and/or serve as a crutch to wuss out of interactions with the opposite sex.

 

[blueguy]

For me it was a big problem. My mom would criticize kissing. I rejected a girl because I was only 15, and it was religion guidelines to only date girls once you're 16+ and single-off dates once 18+. Gah...

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Well I've porked religous girls before, and it didn't make me an AFC. I guess religion isn't a contamination.

 

[Visceral]

Religion is worse than just anti-sex dogma; there's all the anti-self and anti-reality dogma as well.

Besides, conventional secular thinking has just as much anti-sex dogma (at least for heterosexual men) and anti-self dogma as religion does ... so it's not religion per se that's bad for you, but rather the systematic demonization of everything you are that both it and its secular alternative involve.