Last month I remember dreaming about seeing myself in the mirror, and looking at my skinny arm, and my shoulder, they were so skinny. I remember thinking "I have to go tomorrow to the gym and give it my all so I'm not skinny anymore.
I remember reading here in the site about guys giving their theories on why greats like Albert Einstein, the guy that cut his ear, George Bush, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates, were AFCs. How they were so insecure and frustrated by women and society etc.
Lately I've been embracing my inner "frustrated and insecure chump" side of me. Really embracing and welcoming him into me. When Im in the gym, I need to be angry, frustrated, to lift heavy. Right now I have sleeping issues, like sleeping 3 hours a day, I'm so focused on my art (work). There are so many things to create and do (other than women ofcourse) that I'd love to never sleep and just keep going.
I feel like people (guys) waste their time having "fun", going to bars and all. While they are having fun, spending money on overprized alcohol beverages and big warehouses with cool lighting, I'm thinking about layouts for my website, ways of reaching out to more future costumers in the least expensive way, eating healthy, and/or resting.
And I think this love for creation, and work, is because, I think, I think I am not good enough. Not good enough for any woman, not good enough friend, son, brother. Not good enough at what I do, and I have to do it over and over again until I am somewhat good. As well as my love for the gym, it derives from me being skinny as fvck growing up. I sometimes want to be the best, but also want to just be "good enough" some times.
Now, the point I'm trying to make, is that, insecurities are maybe not bad. What you do with them is what important. You can just forget about them and go out and have some fun, or you can use them to build something more than money, create machines, art, etc. I prefer being insecure, frustrated, than being "normal". If the greats I mentioned at the beginning are AFCs, Id like to be the biggest AFC of all times.
I remember reading here in the site about guys giving their theories on why greats like Albert Einstein, the guy that cut his ear, George Bush, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates, were AFCs. How they were so insecure and frustrated by women and society etc.
Lately I've been embracing my inner "frustrated and insecure chump" side of me. Really embracing and welcoming him into me. When Im in the gym, I need to be angry, frustrated, to lift heavy. Right now I have sleeping issues, like sleeping 3 hours a day, I'm so focused on my art (work). There are so many things to create and do (other than women ofcourse) that I'd love to never sleep and just keep going.
I feel like people (guys) waste their time having "fun", going to bars and all. While they are having fun, spending money on overprized alcohol beverages and big warehouses with cool lighting, I'm thinking about layouts for my website, ways of reaching out to more future costumers in the least expensive way, eating healthy, and/or resting.
And I think this love for creation, and work, is because, I think, I think I am not good enough. Not good enough for any woman, not good enough friend, son, brother. Not good enough at what I do, and I have to do it over and over again until I am somewhat good. As well as my love for the gym, it derives from me being skinny as fvck growing up. I sometimes want to be the best, but also want to just be "good enough" some times.
Now, the point I'm trying to make, is that, insecurities are maybe not bad. What you do with them is what important. You can just forget about them and go out and have some fun, or you can use them to build something more than money, create machines, art, etc. I prefer being insecure, frustrated, than being "normal". If the greats I mentioned at the beginning are AFCs, Id like to be the biggest AFC of all times.