I know girls who had fathers, but can suvk three guys in one night and have Del Taco afterwards. Just because you have a dad, doesn't mean you will turn out ok. It's all about how he raised her. But yes, majority of fatherless women have emotional and maturity problems that even Freud couldn't figure out.
Are all girls without fathers screwed up?
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backbreaker
Master Don Juan
my mom, only saw her dad a hand full of times and her step dad, who she didn't get until she was like 18, is in jail for life. my mom in spite of that, while we have our spats, is a pretty normal, although overly religious, woman. you would never know if she didn't tell you.
my experience too with the one I had, very black and white with people either being saints or war criminals if they ever upset her...which I did become, by standing up to her.Warrior74 said:
this is a good description of such women
http://www.gettinbetter.com/waif.html
JimmieMurdoc
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The mother of my child was sexually abused by her father, after the divorce of her parents the mother (who has 5 kids by 4 different fathers) basically overlapped the end of all her relationships with the beginning of a new one, which is what my ex did to me. Soooo, if you want a quality girl, I can confidently say make sure she had a decent upbringing.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
one of the things i have learned through trail and error in my short time in the dating scene, if you treat a woman, normally and she does not give you a normal response, RUN LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.
if you take a girl out to eat a few times and she is talking about being your soul mate or shacking up with you just because you have had sex a few times, RUN lol
If a woman just starts randomly popping up over your house, RUN
I took a woman out one nigght, long time ago, got plastered. damn red deaths. anyway, i had like 6 of them, she only had 1-2, but i think she got alcohol poisoning, i had to pull over the car and let her throw up. i let her sleep in my bed, ki mean, we were ****ing, no no big deal. next morning she mentioned she doesnt' know why I didn't try to have sex with her the previous (while she was laying in the bed shivering). that was the last time i spoke to her. that is not normal behavior.
in general, when you do X a normal woman is supposed to do Y. if i take you out to eat, have a great time, keven get laid, a normal woman, i might send a 2 line email the next day but if i don't really call you for 3 or so days, a normal woman, ldoesn't get bent out of shape. a woman "oh so you are going to hit it and quit it" RUN.
I HAVE LEARNED, that aot of my problems are avoidable just by screening women.
i will not even consider dating a woman who is a stripper anymore. dancing for men butt naked and giving men lap dances for money is not normal woman behavior.
if you take a girl out to eat a few times and she is talking about being your soul mate or shacking up with you just because you have had sex a few times, RUN lol
If a woman just starts randomly popping up over your house, RUN
I took a woman out one nigght, long time ago, got plastered. damn red deaths. anyway, i had like 6 of them, she only had 1-2, but i think she got alcohol poisoning, i had to pull over the car and let her throw up. i let her sleep in my bed, ki mean, we were ****ing, no no big deal. next morning she mentioned she doesnt' know why I didn't try to have sex with her the previous (while she was laying in the bed shivering). that was the last time i spoke to her. that is not normal behavior.
in general, when you do X a normal woman is supposed to do Y. if i take you out to eat, have a great time, keven get laid, a normal woman, i might send a 2 line email the next day but if i don't really call you for 3 or so days, a normal woman, ldoesn't get bent out of shape. a woman "oh so you are going to hit it and quit it" RUN.
I HAVE LEARNED, that aot of my problems are avoidable just by screening women.
i will not even consider dating a woman who is a stripper anymore. dancing for men butt naked and giving men lap dances for money is not normal woman behavior.
This is truth. BUT, a lot of guys bury their heads in the sand evenbackbreaker said:
when they see glaring red flags at the very start. They rationalize it
away because they are not sure when the next piece of a$$ will come
along.
Jeffst1980
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To extend the topic just a little bit:
Realizing that there's no such thing as "normal"--Has anyone ever had a relatively normal relationship with a girl with a diagnosed and treated mental illness/ personality disorder? By "normal" I just mean unremarkable--no major issues other than the ones you have come to expect from a relationship with a mentally healthy woman.
I would like to believe that advances in antidepressant/ antipsychotic drugs and therapy would now make it possible to achieve relative normalcy within an interpersonal relationship, but I have not found that to be the case. It seems to me we still have a long ways to go before we can realistically expect treatment to do anything other than mitigate the symptoms of a mental illness. I'd like to hear any thoughts to the contrary, though.
Realizing that there's no such thing as "normal"--Has anyone ever had a relatively normal relationship with a girl with a diagnosed and treated mental illness/ personality disorder? By "normal" I just mean unremarkable--no major issues other than the ones you have come to expect from a relationship with a mentally healthy woman.
I would like to believe that advances in antidepressant/ antipsychotic drugs and therapy would now make it possible to achieve relative normalcy within an interpersonal relationship, but I have not found that to be the case. It seems to me we still have a long ways to go before we can realistically expect treatment to do anything other than mitigate the symptoms of a mental illness. I'd like to hear any thoughts to the contrary, though.
DJ_Traveler
Don Juan
Based on my experience with women I have to agree that women without a strong father figure in their life is a red flag.
Of course, there are exception to this rule but it's important to be careful and proceed with caution.
Of course, there are exception to this rule but it's important to be careful and proceed with caution.
That sounds just like my ex wife Lol
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Amanda, the woman I met in AA who I flirted with but never relaly took seriously because I was in a relationship, was told that she was bipolar, I never saw it. quite a normal, well adjusted for the most part besides being a tad bit needy womanJeffst1980 said:
sharkbeat
Master Don Juan
I don't want to say all of them, but its a good rule of thumb. I have dated a woman who had a GREAT relationship with her dad. I have to say the whole 4 years was with her, there re only < 5 drama. Yes i could count them with my fingers.
On the other hand, this woman whose parents divorced since early age. 1 week into the relationship, its already going downhill. Not only that. She seems to refuse to understand men. It's all about her her her.
On the other hand, this woman whose parents divorced since early age. 1 week into the relationship, its already going downhill. Not only that. She seems to refuse to understand men. It's all about her her her.
women haze
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What I find disturbing about this topic is the fact that I , or anyone on this forum for that matter doesn't even know what a successful, normal relationship is? You all give Very good examples of when to run when you see the Red flags....but do any of you KNOW a really good woman if you see one? No you wouldn't...The only way someone can determine if a woman is good natured is getting to know them.
Along the way of knowing someone you will always catch Red flag here or there. It depends upon what YOU are able to tolerate...
This Forum kinda Jades your view on women.....and Maybe that is a good thing
Along the way of knowing someone you will always catch Red flag here or there. It depends upon what YOU are able to tolerate...
This Forum kinda Jades your view on women.....and Maybe that is a good thing
Desdinova
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One of the recent girls I dated is a pretty bad flake and doesn't seem to have the normal 'nurturing' personality that I seem to find in most women. Her dad fvcked off when she was nine and currently cares not to see her. The father of her kids was a coke addict. Although she was right to not let him move in with her, why she fathered two children by him is beyond me.
What I've noticed with her is she doesn't respond to me very well when I treat her nice. When I treat her like a piece of garbage, that's when she becomes incredibly responsive.
Two other girls I've seen recently have been more stable and responsive to my personality alone and don't seem to need the garbage treatment that the other girl needs. Guess what? Both of them have parents that are still married.
What I've noticed with her is she doesn't respond to me very well when I treat her nice. When I treat her like a piece of garbage, that's when she becomes incredibly responsive.
Two other girls I've seen recently have been more stable and responsive to my personality alone and don't seem to need the garbage treatment that the other girl needs. Guess what? Both of them have parents that are still married.
My Ex was raised by a single mother. Her father was never there for her. She is definately screwed up!
It is like she was searching for a father figure in men, instead of a boyfriend.
But still I have doubts if there was any connection between the abscence of her father, and her seperation anxiety. It the most logical explanation, though...
It is like she was searching for a father figure in men, instead of a boyfriend.
But still I have doubts if there was any connection between the abscence of her father, and her seperation anxiety. It the most logical explanation, though...
Boilermaker
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Scientific method relies on "falsification" .. There's no such thing as a "perfect woman", just like there is no such thing as an unchangeable theory.
This forum operates in the most efficient manner possible, by testing and falsifying the observed problems, i.e red flags, in women so when we go out and experience them, we can filter them out - to find one of the less damaged women around.
If this forum jades your view on women; that's certainly a good thing - because it implies you have a very naive perspective on women.
This forum operates in the most efficient manner possible, by testing and falsifying the observed problems, i.e red flags, in women so when we go out and experience them, we can filter them out - to find one of the less damaged women around.
If this forum jades your view on women; that's certainly a good thing - because it implies you have a very naive perspective on women.
Did you have a good relationship with your father? Did you grow up in a 2 parent household? Did your parents stay together? If the answer to these questions is yes, then think about how profound an effect both your parents had on you. It's incalculable.
Now imagine how different a person you would be if you grew up under a different set of circumstances. It's impossible to know how things would have turned out, but it's safe to say that you would have been a very different person and you would probably have a very different idea about how families, relationships etc. work.
I wouldn't necessarily say that a girl who grew up without a father is "messed up." But she would certainly have a very different outlook on how relationships, families etc. work when compared to a person who was raised by both of his biological parents.
Now imagine how different a person you would be if you grew up under a different set of circumstances. It's impossible to know how things would have turned out, but it's safe to say that you would have been a very different person and you would probably have a very different idea about how families, relationships etc. work.
I wouldn't necessarily say that a girl who grew up without a father is "messed up." But she would certainly have a very different outlook on how relationships, families etc. work when compared to a person who was raised by both of his biological parents.
U
user43770
Guest
This. From my experience, women without father figures don't know how to be alone. They need a man's approval.Lateralus said:
jophil28
Master Don Juan
What happens to a young girl's psyche when the father who is meant to protect and provide for her turns out to be someone who hurts or harms her instead.
Her hero acts like her enemy.
I had a relationship with a BPD wacko back in 2006.
SHe told me that her father was a wealthy man, and a bad drunk, who cheated on her mother with his female staff. He was also physically and verbally abusive to his wife and children.
However when he sobered up, he lavished his kids and wife with expensive gifts. A few weeks later the abuse started again, and the cycle repeated ..and so on.
MY wacked G/f told me this -
When she was a child it was her job to be wake up and then get out of bed late at night and sit with Mommy when Dad came home drunk.
Her mother wanted the protection that her daughters presence offered against being abused or made to have "drunken sex."
The only time that my G/f saw her father in a relatively
"normal' condition was when he was remorseful, sober and handing out lavish gifts.
Twenty years later she became a cheating, lying CLuster B golddigger.
The beat goes on.
Her hero acts like her enemy.
I had a relationship with a BPD wacko back in 2006.
SHe told me that her father was a wealthy man, and a bad drunk, who cheated on her mother with his female staff. He was also physically and verbally abusive to his wife and children.
However when he sobered up, he lavished his kids and wife with expensive gifts. A few weeks later the abuse started again, and the cycle repeated ..and so on.
MY wacked G/f told me this -
When she was a child it was her job to be wake up and then get out of bed late at night and sit with Mommy when Dad came home drunk.
Her mother wanted the protection that her daughters presence offered against being abused or made to have "drunken sex."
The only time that my G/f saw her father in a relatively
"normal' condition was when he was remorseful, sober and handing out lavish gifts.
Twenty years later she became a cheating, lying CLuster B golddigger.
The beat goes on.
Honestly, I view any obvious BPD afflicted girl as mentally retarded, period.
There is no reasoning, figuring, analyzing, nothing.
You are mentally disabled, handicapped and diseased.
That is all. It makes it easy to dismiss these girls when you put them
in that category, IMO.
Also, the one decent thing about finding out about these types is
it doesn't affect your ego or sense of self worth at all like a
normal rejection might because you could literally look like model and have millions of dollars and you may still find these types banging the garden boy because of some sort of abandonment fears and the need to get you first
before you get them. So sad.
There is no reasoning, figuring, analyzing, nothing.
You are mentally disabled, handicapped and diseased.
That is all. It makes it easy to dismiss these girls when you put them
in that category, IMO.
Also, the one decent thing about finding out about these types is
it doesn't affect your ego or sense of self worth at all like a
normal rejection might because you could literally look like model and have millions of dollars and you may still find these types banging the garden boy because of some sort of abandonment fears and the need to get you first
before you get them. So sad.
Boilermaker
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There are far too many psychiatrists in this forum.
It feels like 4 out of 5 girls out there are BPD-afflicted wackos, gold diggers, promiscuous bastards with daddy issues.
You guys take yourselves too seriously. I think your "frail egos" fail to see that half the time; YOU get far too much involved with unreliable "PEOPLE" (not women in particular) and then you cry a river about how fvcked up they actually are, how they abused you and tested your sanity and good will and yada yada...
If we were ALL gay, then there'd be a whole slew of terminology to describe men with these same qualities that are perpetuated for women around here.
Why don't we take MORE responsibility (sometimes taking a little more than necessary doesn't hurt) and stop diagnosing every damn chick we meet?
The last girl I went out with managed to screw +25 men during her 19 years in this world; she was inconsistent, frequently lying and using all kinds of mental tactics to put me down at every occasion. Besides, she hated her father; and she had 10-step siblings from a number of subsequent marriages of her parents ...
AT times; she made me feel like a worthless creep and she walked all over me. BUT I have the dignity to admit that it was MOSTLY my fault EVEN THOUGH she's the goddess of BPDs according to all this psychiatric mumbo-jambo you guys are parroting here ...
It feels like 4 out of 5 girls out there are BPD-afflicted wackos, gold diggers, promiscuous bastards with daddy issues.
You guys take yourselves too seriously. I think your "frail egos" fail to see that half the time; YOU get far too much involved with unreliable "PEOPLE" (not women in particular) and then you cry a river about how fvcked up they actually are, how they abused you and tested your sanity and good will and yada yada...
If we were ALL gay, then there'd be a whole slew of terminology to describe men with these same qualities that are perpetuated for women around here.
Why don't we take MORE responsibility (sometimes taking a little more than necessary doesn't hurt) and stop diagnosing every damn chick we meet?
The last girl I went out with managed to screw +25 men during her 19 years in this world; she was inconsistent, frequently lying and using all kinds of mental tactics to put me down at every occasion. Besides, she hated her father; and she had 10-step siblings from a number of subsequent marriages of her parents ...
AT times; she made me feel like a worthless creep and she walked all over me. BUT I have the dignity to admit that it was MOSTLY my fault EVEN THOUGH she's the goddess of BPDs according to all this psychiatric mumbo-jambo you guys are parroting here ...
Trust me I get what you're saying. And I am very careful to use theseBoilermaker said:
labels but I am telling you, sometimes it is so f'ing obvious the chick is
mental.
When her behavior is so completely out of line and doesn't even
make any sense + the daddy issues.. if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck...
This stuff really isn't that complicated, some behavior is so outrageous.... plus other signs, you put 2 and 2 together and....
