Approaching

[rdzntz422.MYZ]

Hey guys, let me know some of your best approaches. I need some good approaches and openers.

 

[2Rocky]

As you wish.....We ain't your research b1tch

 

[HaleyBaron]

*standing at bar*

*girls and guys walk up to me, buying me drinks and conversating*

To be honest, I am the best and worst guy for asking approach advice. The one thing that sets me apart is that I can usually talk to anyone I am interested in, but I am spoiled that I do not have to do a lot of work due to certain reasons.

 

[rdzntz422.MYZ]

Good stuff. I'm working on openers and being witty. I'm trying to get around that b*tch shield ya know. Last time I tried to open a group with a RBF lookin girl, I panicked and told her she had a mustache. It was funny though. She wasn't happy.

 

[Charm2K]

Its not what you say, but HOW you say it....

 

[Willie Naylor]

Here's some ideas -

 

[manfrombelow]

One of the many myths inside the PUA's circle is that approaching is a number game, and that you should (and even must) approach literally EVERY single woman you meet, and fear no rejection.

This is BS, because human beings are, whether you like it or not, emotional creatures, which means if you put yourself in scenarios that get you rejected too many times, it damages your self-esteem and confidence.

So, what I'm saying is, instead of hitting on every single female on your way like a creepy needy hungry creep, you must learn to READ a woman first.

For example, if she's someone who's asking you nicely to pick something on the top shelf at the supermarket because she can't reach it? Go for it, make some funny and light conversation and ask for her phone number and set the date right away if the mutal feeling's right, because when a woman asks you to do her some favour, at least her shield is not up too high and she doesn't see you as a threat.

Or, the cute cashier that knows your name because you've been shopping in her store too many times, and on that special day, you have no other customers or you have just only one old lady buying some bread behind you? You can let the old lady go first, so when it's your turn, you can have time to make some conversations, get her number, and ask her out.

However, a woman in suit looking busy and anxious in the morning because she might be having an important meeting with the board in 45 minutes? Do not fvcking stop her in the middle of the street, or worse, inside a coffee shop where she's waiting for her morning cappucino, to ask for her phone number.

Or, still in the same grocery store with the cute cashier, when it's a fvcking busy day with a lot of other customers behind you waiting for their turns? Do not fvcking make it worse for her by trying to flirt with her when everybody's looking. Leave her the fvck alone and come back the next day.

The examples go on.

So, while I do agree that you must not fear rejection when it comes to approaching women, and that you must have the balls to approach them - I do not agree that you must do it like a pre-programmed robot with no intelligence and no skills in reading other people.

 

[Black Widow Void]

One of the many myths inside the PUA's circle is that approaching is a number game, and that you should (and even must) approach literally EVERY single woman you meet, and fear no rejection.

This is BS, because human beings are, whether you like it or not, emotional creatures, which means if you put yourself in scenarios that get you rejected too many times, it damages your self-esteem and confidence.

I disagree.
Approaching women is *exactly* like the game of sales. If a sale is too easy, then it's likely going to bottom out before the close. Women that are low-hanging fruit (the easy reach) are likely going to be more problematic.

Sure. I don't like rejection any better than anyone else, but again, it's just like sales. The more difficult opportunities, the more opportunity that there is to learn and improve.

I'm not trying to put you down. Rejection can sting and it occasionally still does - even at my age, but here's a different way to look at it. I realize that sometimes it's me and sometimes it's not. If I can learn something from a rejection, then inadvertently, the woman has done me a favor. Her rejection has offered some clue as to what works and what does not. Naturally, women aren't one-size-fits-all, but the more variety of women that reject us, the better we become with varied female social interaction.

By no means am I attempting to portray myself as someone with the highest batting average. But I can say that the more we step up to the plate, the better we become.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Hey guys, let me know some of your best approaches. I need some good approaches and openers.

Here's a few of mine.

Always look for something unique. If she's wearing some unusual jewelry, ask if it's from another country or if it was hand made. If not jewelry, it could her shirt (which might say something about her or where's she's vacationed). Although I'm not a fan of tattoos, if a gal has them, I've used this angle to strike up a conversation.

If you like dogs, striking up a conversation can be easy. If you pet the dog - even better. I usually go with "your dog has a very healthy coat, you can tell that she's taken care of." This sort of flattery really drops their defenses.

My favorite (which I've mentioned on here before) is... the "I couldn't help but notice your accent." It doesn't matter if they are local or not. If local, "oh? you sound so metropolitan" (or something to that affect). If not local, then it's "how long have you lived here" or if they moved from several states far away... "I bet that moving here was quite a culture shock."

Try on "different hats" and see which one best fits. Also, the old phrase is true. "It's not really what you say, but how you say it."

 

[Willie Naylor]

OP asked for some ideas for specific approaches he can try.

No need to start waxing philosophically about 'inner game theory.'

 

[Black Widow Void]

OP asked for some ideas for specific approaches he can try.

No need to start waxing philosophically about 'inner game theory.'

Rumor has it that you’re actually the former member “Hank Moody.” Your above posting seems to confirm it.

 

[manfrombelow]

I disagree.
Approaching women is *exactly* like the game of sales. If a sale is too easy, then it's likely going to bottom out before the close. Women that are low-hanging fruit (the easy reach) are likely going to be more problematic.

1. Agree.

Sure. I don't like rejection any better than anyone else, but again, it's just like sales. The more difficult opportunities, the more opportunity that there is to learn and improve.

2. Totally agree.

I'm not trying to put you down.

3. I know.

Rejection can sting and it occasionally still does - even at my age, but here's a different way to look at it. I realize that sometimes it's me and sometimes it's not. If I can learn something from a rejection, then inadvertently, the woman has done me a favor. Her rejection has offered some clue as to what works and what does not. Naturally, women aren't one-size-fits-all, but the more variety of women that reject us, the better we become with varied female social interaction.

By no means am I attempting to portray myself as someone with the highest batting average. But I can say that the more we step up to the plate, the better we become.

4. I agree.

5. Everything you've said is by no means opposed to what I stated, buddy.

I also need to correct myself about the part when I said seeing seduction is a number game is BS, because it's not.

Yes, female seduction is just a number game, but what's also important is how to read the target before you approach to maximize your chance of getting what you want. That's all.

 

[manfrombelow]

Rumor has it that you’re actually the former member “Hank Moody.” Your above posting seems to confirm it.

Why is the lad "former"? He seemed nice.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Why is the lad "former"? He seemed nice.

Toward the end of his stay, he stated that he didn't want to be on a forum with a bunch of losers. To disassociate himself, he went as far as having the Mod's remove his profile; which also removed all of his former postings.

To voluntarily return to a place that one deemed as loser-ville... would seem to reveal a lot about his character.

 

[SW15]

One of the many myths inside the PUA's circle is that approaching is a number game, and that you should (and even must) approach literally EVERY single woman you meet, and fear no rejection.

This is BS, because human beings are, whether you like it or not, emotional creatures, which means if you put yourself in scenarios that get you rejected too many times, it damages your self-esteem and confidence.

you must learn to READ a woman first. I do agree that you must not fear rejection when it comes to approaching women

Approaching is not necessarily a numbers game. It is more of a process thing. If you do the right things, you won't have to approach as many women.

Every failed approach is emotionally deflating. Even a 30 second conversation that does nowhere is deflating. Failed approaches can damage self-esteem and confidence in a major way.

When a man reads women, he'll often find out that most women don't give a shiit about him. That's distressing to a point. It might mean he needs to bulk up on the weights or improve personal style. Even with that, a lot of women are actively in some sort of relationship and not looking.

I've tended not to approach when I don't think the approach is going to go all that well. I'd rather do fewer, higher quality approaches.

I've heard the converse point, which is true to an extent. In the last 15 years, the Millennials became the dominant single group. Somewhere around the early 2010s, women (mainly Millennial women) became much worse at giving IOIs, both at bars and in non-bar venues. I think this is a contributing factor to why more men are approaching more women. I agree with the notion of reading women but when no one is giving IOIs, it devolves into massive cold approaching.

The man I know who was most successful with women in the early 2010s never concerned himself with IOIs and reading women. He approached every woman in the bar. He was able to get away with this in part because of being 6'4", having a basic white guy look, and being an ex-college athlete. That would help in getting fewer no's. More ordinary guys would get harsher blowouts using his method. He never once approached outside of a bar venue and he only dabbled in websites/apps.

However, a woman in suit looking busy and anxious in the morning because she might be having an important meeting with the board in 45 minutes? Do not fvcking stop her in the middle of the street, or worse, inside a coffee shop where she's waiting for her morning cappucino, to ask for her phone number.

Or, still in the same grocery store with the cute cashier, when it's a fvcking busy day with a lot of other customers behind you waiting for their turns? Do not fvcking make it worse for her by trying to flirt with her when everybody's looking. Leave her the fvck alone and come back the next day.

Hitting on women who work jobs dealing with the general public is often a losing effort. The best ways to get these women are meeting them outside of their workplace or being one of their co-workers if it is one of those McJobs that tends to have high turnover.

The business woman described earlier is less likely to be out in public these days. She's mainly work at home now. Agree on how you'd assess that situation.

 

[rdzntz422.MYZ]

Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely put it to good use. I'm pretty good at handling rejection and my confidence can take a lot of hits, so I just need to keep practicing how to conversate with women and read them better. If I were older I would go to the bar, because the mall isn't always the best venue. Still, with practice I'll pick up some skills. I'm a quick learner. And Willie, thanks for the video. It was great advice LMAO

 

[Zimbabwe]

Just walk up to her and say "Hi". You don't need a unique opener, if she is receptive you keep talking.

The more you do this the better you will get.

 

[metalwater]

Rumor has it that you’re actually the former member “Hank Moody.” Your above posting seems to confirm it.

but... who was Miss Moody? it's like a mystery game.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Here's a few of mine.

Always look for something unique. If she's wearing some unusual jewelry, ask if it's from another country or if it was hand made. If not jewelry, it could her shirt (which might say something about her or where's she's vacationed). Although I'm not a fan of tattoos, if a gal has them, I've used this angle to strike up a conversation.

If you like dogs, striking up a conversation can be easy. If you pet the dog - even better. I usually go with "your dog has a very healthy coat, you can tell that she's taken care of." This sort of flattery really drops their defenses.

My favorite (which I've mentioned on here before) is... the "I couldn't help but notice your accent." It doesn't matter if they are local or not. If local, "oh? you sound so metropolitan" (or something to that affect). If not local, then it's "how long have you lived here" or if they moved from several states far away... "I bet that moving here was quite a culture shock."

Try on "different hats" and see which one best fits. Also, the old phrase is true. "It's not really what you say, but how you say it."

This is good but i would leave the tattoo chat until later on , only because people usually get tattoos to symbolise something and if you ask about them straight off the bat you will get a surface level answer

If you do it after some trust / rapport has been built you usually get a much more in depth answer and obviously conversation expansions from there

I always try to leave the " what do you do" question as long as i possibly can because it's so boring and almost always ensures someone goes into work mode which with a woman is not what you want

Try to use phrases like

How do you feel about .....

I am really passionate about ....

Have you had any experiences with....

Tell me how you would handle ......

Are you open too ...

These are often far better than using generic interview questions especially with women

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys, let me know some of your best approaches. I need some good approaches and openers.

Go approach and figure it out. This isn't a charity.