Approaching Women

[Sam_J]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the forum.

I'm finally deciding to overcome my mental block about approaching women and try to get over my general social anxiety. I'd love to actually talk to some of you guys either on the phone or over zoom/skype or something to actually have a conversation with some of you who have experience with this (or are working on it) and getting over social anxiety. I have a mental block about violating "social norms" and looking like a weirdo. For me I think actually talking to some of you guys once in awhile would help me a lot more than just messaging via text. I've talked to friends about it but they think it's creepy to approach women outside of a bar or party type setting. It's just so rare for people to do this stuff so I would love to chat with some of you who approach/start conversations with women in everyday settings.

Thanks!

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the forum.

I'm finally deciding to overcome my mental block about approaching women and try to get over my general social anxiety. I'd love to actually talk to some of you guys either on the phone or over zoom/skype or something to actually have a conversation with some of you who have experience with this (or are working on it) and getting over social anxiety. I have a mental block about violating "social norms" and looking like a weirdo. For me I think actually talking to some of you guys once in awhile would help me a lot more than just messaging via text. I've talked to friends about it but they think it's creepy to approach women outside of a bar or party type setting. It's just so rare for people to do this stuff so I would love to chat with some of you who approach/start conversations with women in everyday settings.

Thanks!

You will absolutely look like a weirdo if you try initiating conversations with strangers in public for no reason. You'll also be annoying the sh1t out of people by pointlessly bothering them.

Your friends are right. Stick to where girls go to be picked up like bars and OLD. Other than that, just talk to them if it coincides with your normal day. Don't go out of your way and bother people because it is weird.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You will absolutely look like a weirdo if you try initiating conversations with strangers in public for no reason. You'll also be annoying the sh1t out of people by pointlessly bothering them.

Who cares? The way I see it, if you don't, then nothing will come of it anyways. What are the chances that you'll see whatever girl you wanted to approach in some non pickup spot at the bar or OLD.

 

[Sam_J]

No doubt. How would you rate yourself in the looks department? How's your sense of style, like, what do you normally wear out?

Thanks. Idk, probably average looking--I look a bit young for my age which I'm kinda insecure about. I don't have very good style yet because I never used to care but I'm trying to work on it.

 

[Kotaix]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the forum.

I'm finally deciding to overcome my mental block about approaching women and try to get over my general social anxiety. I'd love to actually talk to some of you guys either on the phone or over zoom/skype or something to actually have a conversation with some of you who have experience with this (or are working on it) and getting over social anxiety. I have a mental block about violating "social norms" and looking like a weirdo. For me I think actually talking to some of you guys once in awhile would help me a lot more than just messaging via text. I've talked to friends about it but they think it's creepy to approach women outside of a bar or party type setting. It's just so rare for people to do this stuff so I would love to chat with some of you who approach/start conversations with women in everyday settings.

Thanks!

You don't need to talk to women to communicate attraction. Get used to looking at pretty women and smiling at them and being honest about your attraction. This is the first step to getting over anxiety. If they smile back at you this is an invitation to start talking to her.

 

[Sam_J]

You will absolutely look like a weirdo if you try initiating conversations with strangers in public for no reason. You'll also be annoying the sh1t out of people by pointlessly bothering them.

Your friends are right. Stick to where girls go to be picked up like bars and OLD. Other than that, just talk to them if it coincides with your normal day. Don't go out of your way and bother people because it is weird.

I know I"ll look like a weirdo but I want to get over caring about that. Right now I care way too much what others think especially women and I want to desensitize myself to embarassment, but it's hard.

 

[Sam_J]

Who cares? The way I see it, if you don't, then nothing will come of it anyways. What are the chances that you'll see whatever girl you wanted to approach in some non pickup spot at the bar or OLD.

I agree that's why I came on here--looking to talk with people who have actually done this kinda stuff in public. Only concern is I'm not in a big city, so I probably shouldn't be approaching dozens of girls a day but I'm not gonna be doing that lol. If you've got experience approaching randomly in the daytime feel free to hit me up, we could talk on the phone or something sometime.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the forum.

I'm finally deciding to overcome my mental block about approaching women and try to get over my general social anxiety. I'd love to actually talk to some of you guys either on the phone or over zoom/skype or something to actually have a conversation with some of you who have experience with this (or are working on it) and getting over social anxiety. I have a mental block about violating "social norms" and looking like a weirdo. For me I think actually talking to some of you guys once in awhile would help me a lot more than just messaging via text. I've talked to friends about it but they think it's creepy to approach women outside of a bar or party type setting. It's just so rare for people to do this stuff so I would love to chat with some of you who approach/start conversations with women in everyday settings.

Thanks!

Hey brother,

Welcome to SS!

Generally speaking, there is some solid advice by some good men here. Take everything with a grain of salt and take only what you want. You will find some toxic comments as well, but that is all perspective. While we, Modern Man Advice, find it toxic others find it useful or "alpha". So ultimately, when seeking help or perspective online, be wise to who you listen to.

If you rather do a call or Zoom feel free to DM us or go to our website to book a sesh.

Modern Man Advice

 

[DonJuanjr]

Until you reach a certain level of success the anxiety will always come back. You have to keep approaching. Too long of a lapse will make you regress. At least for me that's the case.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Disagree entirely with the bolded portion.

I was walking out of the gym yesterday here in TX when I noticed a girl at a machine eyefvcking me from a distance.

I did an about face and walked right up to her. Got her number.

By being unabashedly direct and going for what you want, you gain her respect, and maybe even make her pvssy tingle - because you're not like the countless other guys that stare at her and then, ultimately, never do anything.

Now, of course you need to be good looking and have some style, but I digress.

Well a gym could be seen as a somewhat social setting.

I'm just saying don't be like the guys who get security called on them at the mall. I've heard stories about "PUA" guys getting kicked out of the mall for bothering people.

 

[Velasco]

Guy69jackblue = Jake_Gyllenhaal69 alt account.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Guy69jackblue = Jake_Gyllenhaal69 alt account.

Nope but the truth is even more interesting haha

 

[Sam_J]

Well a gym could be seen as a somewhat social setting.

I'm just saying don't be like the guys who get security called on them at the mall. I've heard stories about "PUA" guys getting kicked out of the mall for bothering people.

You're saying I shouldn't be like this guy lol?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys,

I'm new to the forum.

I'm finally deciding to overcome my mental block about approaching women and try to get over my general social anxiety. I'd love to actually talk to some of you guys either on the phone or over zoom/skype or something to actually have a conversation with some of you who have experience with this (or are working on it) and getting over social anxiety. I have a mental block about violating "social norms" and looking like a weirdo. For me I think actually talking to some of you guys once in awhile would help me a lot more than just messaging via text. I've talked to friends about it but they think it's creepy to approach women outside of a bar or party type setting. It's just so rare for people to do this stuff so I would love to chat with some of you who approach/start conversations with women in everyday settings.

Thanks!

Age? Utilize the pandemic and approach. Read the Game and Mystery method to 1. Inspire 2. Acquire a framework. 3. Overcome APPROACH ANXIETY. AA kept you alive in caveman days as the wrong approach meant getting your skull crushed. Avoid theory and long winded 300 day rants on hypergamy and 0 approaching. Instead approach everyday minimum 3x. Cultivate being that guy. Assume attraction. It grants you permission to approach. Meditate. Don't identify as your value being based upon girls. every set is practice.

 

[Camus37]

The only way out of social anxiety is through exposure-therapy. You literally have to force yourself to do it. Don't focus on banging girls initially, just practice approaching them with really simple stuff like - "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you look really nice. Have a nice day". Don't try to close her or anything, just get used to approaching.

Your fear of rejection is a primal fear that comes from our ancient past. Getting rejected when we were living in tribes often meant meta-gene death because you only had 1 or 2 opportunities to procreate in your lifetime.

Getting rejected doesn't mean sh!t in 2021. You can get rejected a million times. It doesn't matter. It's all in your mind.

This is good advice. I’d just add two things. First, learn to revel in stepping outside of social norms: cultivate a rebellious, oppositional streak. Don’t go full conspiracist or anything like that. But recognise that most people are rigidly conforming to what they believe they are supposed to do. Instead, be the guy who is on his own path. If you find a girl attractive and want to meet her, approach and go talk to her. This independent-mindedness is an attractive trait in itself; but you’ll also get better results than the average normy-conformy simply by dint of taking more chances.

The other thing I’d say is, don’t make an identity out of being good with women. Anchor your identity in something else, like your passion/career or whatever. You don’t want to be drawing your confidence/state from how other people (women) respond to you.When gaming, be motivated by attraction to the woman, not by the validation from the woman’s approval. Paradoxically, this will make you much more potent with women (but it has to be authentic: you can’t fake this stuff).

 

[DonJuanjr]

Assume attraction. It grants you permission to approach

This is a good mental state to be in. Thanks for that.

 

[Charm2K]

You will absolutely look like a weirdo if you try initiating conversations with strangers in public for no reason. You'll also be annoying the sh1t out of people by pointlessly bothering them.

Your friends are right. Stick to where girls go to be picked up like bars and OLD. Other than that, just talk to them if it coincides with your normal day. Don't go out of your way and bother people because it is weird.

Bull**** advice. Girls want to be approached everywhere, you just have to read the signs correctly and have game.

 

[Charm2K]

This is a good mental state to be in. Thanks for that.

Excellent.

 

[Romanemp22]

Don't listen to the guys who say you would look like a weirdo, you won't believe me. The same guys who say that are the ones who are puzzies and would never approach a girl even in a bar.

Now the perfect way to actually approach a girl that works for me the best is in that moment not thinking anything basically. Nothing just clear mind when you're approaching because if you're thinking in the moment your mind will most likely talk you out of it.

Ofcourse this is easier said than done but the point is ofcourse to practice. The more you do it the easier it will be for you to overcoming approach anxiety. Good luck!

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Don't listen to the guys who say you would look like a weirdo, you won't believe me. The same guys who say that are the ones who are puzzies and would never approach a girl even in a bar.

Now the perfect way to actually approach a girl that works for me the best is in that moment not thinking anything basically. Nothing just clear mind when you're approaching because if you're thinking in the moment your mind will most likely talk you out of it.

Ofcourse this is easier said than done but the point is ofcourse to practice. The more you do it the easier it will be for you to overcoming approach anxiety. Good luck!

Yea tell us all the times you approached a stranger at the grocery store and something came of it.