Approaching to get over the Approach??

[Drewskie]

I hear this concept all the time in the dating world, "the best way to get over the fear of approaching is just to approach". I am wondering how approaching, whether you get blown out or not, is supposed to help one get over the fear of approaching. Is it desensitazion of sorts? Or what's the theory behind it?

 

[Captain]

Yes, it's desensitisation. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. It also gives you practice. Just like anything, the more you do something, the better you get. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes.

 

[CrazyandLazy]

Desensitizing is not healthy.

 

[C-quenced]

In this case it is.

 

[C-quenced]

In this case it is.

 

[Drewskie]

Bump....

 

[JDA70]

Just don't go out ho chasing that just brings alot of rejection and negitivity
into your life. Sure you'll get props on here for having iron balls but in the end it's not really worth it. Go where the fish are bitting and do your approches.

I hope you understand what Im saying.

 

[arutha]

I hear this concept all the time in the dating world, "the best way to get over the fear of approaching is just to approach". I am wondering how approaching, whether you get blown out or not, is supposed to help one get over the fear of approaching. Is it desensitazion of sorts? Or what's the theory behind it?

I don't see it as desensitizing actually... The masters around here (in fact I just read a Pook post that said exactly this) can tell you from experience that rejection feels a LOT better than regret. You approach, get rejected, and you will realise this first hand. You will instantly enjoy the experience (unless she really burned you... but very few girls do) and you will now WANT to keep doing it. Once you make the first few approaches it gets fun instead of scary and really snowballs.

 

[ajax11]

I understand the desensitization thing but it seems like you have to keep at it otherwise you lose it. For example when I haven't done it for a while, it takes a little bit to be good at it again, like I have to start all over. Some people never have this problem because it's just who they are. Some people have to work at it.

I can't say looking back where I regret hitting on a girl. I regret not hitting on them.

 

[ALPHAROMEO]

have you heard of CBT?
In the left column you list all the reasons why you can t approach

for instance " i am ugly i can t attract the women " OR " i am a phoney ( society disapproves of guys approaching women on the street "

in the right comum you argue with yoursel
" i am ugly " " not everybody ll find me ugly !! women rate looks number 4 IN A LATEST SURVEY " "i ve seen real eyesores going out top models " ( your arguments must be based on truth on rationality


next

i am a phoney" right column " talking to women is a process a laguage of its own !! Small talk is a necessary element ( sorry guys but being yorself doesn t work )! everydody when courting a chick is on their best behavior ( evrybody )( it s a fact ) marketeer when trying his products is not his real self ;he s a marketeer etc



see how it works ?
YOU DO THIS EXERCISE EVERYDAY FOR 4 WEEKS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS


based on aaron beck s cognitive psychology

 

[ALPHAROMEO]

the kamikaze technique
i am out on the street
the moment i see a chick , i approach her like a bat would attack its prey i don t hesitate *****foot i just dive in
in the course of 10 MINUTES i approach posibly 10 CHICKS then my job s done
now i feel good psychologically and i feel more confident about walking up to other women

To paraphrase a famous ZEN author I SHOoT THE FIRST WOMAN I SEE ( if you see the buddha shoot himby PHIL KAPLEAU )

if the chicks turns out to be a ugler i just bail out after 30 SECONDS BUT IN A COURTEOUS WAY

my opener

i got a townmap in my hands and ask for directions ( no sexual intent whatsoever hence no AA )