Approaching Random Girl for First Time

[Burton8219]

Hey Guys,

First post. Looking for some good info and advice and knew I could get some here. When I say "random" in the title I don't mean girl I've never met before per se, but a girl that I have literally no connection or anything with. I'm fine with approaching girls I've never met that are in classes and stuff like that because I always have that thing to start the conversation, but have never walked up to a random girl I see walking around campus or anything like that (I'm in college btw). So really I'm just looking for some tips on how to go about this. I'm fine with conversation once I get it started, but getting it started is what's giving me problems mentally right now.

So how should I go about this? Like if someone could give me a step by step on how this should go down and have the most success I would be stoked. How long should eye contact be before it starts to turn into a stare? Stuff like that. She's about an inch or so taller than me (I'm between 5'8 and 5'9), but I don't really have a problem with that.

I know it's kind of pathetic to be asking for help when I'm already in college, but I've always gotten with chicks in high school through like mutual friends and never really had to go up to a chick and start conversation. Any advice you guys could relay would be awesome.

Thanks in advance and hope to stick around for a while,
Burton

 

[Masculinity]

Welcome aboard; you're in for a lot of good stuff. First of all, there is nothing pathetic about not being the superhero of women, that's that reason why we are all here, so don't panic.

Secondly, AAAgent (a member of the forum) started a cool approach anxiety competition that has been helping guys out a lot. He assigns tasks & you must complete them to stay in the competition; it started with more than 20 people and it's down to eight now (myself included). I don't know if you can still get in, but talk to him and see what he says.

As for your your game:

There's really no "rejection proof" way to approach women, you kinda just build your own game and see what works for you. One thing may work amazingly for me, but it may backfire for you. Don't be that guy that wants to learn all the theory so that he never gets rejected, that's just lame. Go out and do it instead and see how it works. You will not hit the baseball if you don't swing the bat!

Read through the whole thread and you'll learn some good stuff. I'm in college too and this is the time to get babes! Here's the thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=182041

PS: Read the DJ Bible. The link to the bible is all the way at the bottom of this window.

 

[Burton8219]

Robyn... I looked at the thread. Very good info in there! The thing that's tossing me is that the only time I see this girl is when we're both getting coffee in the morning before class... Not much time to get a solid approach in as we're both rushing to head to class. Just need some tips on how to go about that... do I just need to sack up and do it?

 

[Deicide]

Robyn... I looked at the thread. Very good info in there! The thing that's tossing me is that the only time I see this girl is when we're both getting coffee in the morning before class... Not much time to get a solid approach in as we're both rushing to head to class. Just need some tips on how to go about that... do I just need to sack up and do it?

I'm not Robyn, but I'll be glad to help you out. In situations like that, you just do the approach and hope that it builds upon other approaches. Once the initial cold approach is over, you'll have much more confidence approaching this girl once again, and she will know who you are as well.
I agree that morning times are not my favorite times for doing these things. We're probably not in a social state then, but, just do it. I'll give you an opener(use it if you want). "Hey, I've seen you around and I thought you might be an interesting person to talk to". Smile as you say Hey(Or Hi, Hello, whatever). Be positive and think positive. The first one is the always the hardest. It's your first cold approach, enjoy the adrenaline rush.

 

[neghitzbrah]

Ahh, I remember my first cold approach. Lasted no longer than 10 seconds. It's a lot easier now. The comfort level gradually increases depending on where you are.

This doesn't include universities or large work campuses (you lucky fvcks):

Least Comfort ----------> Most Comfort
Streets, Subway, Mall Walkways, Supermarkets, Stores, Lounges/Cafes/Libraries, Bar, Club, Work, House Party, Through Friends

This is my opinion, though, so it's a bit biased. But I wouldn't expect a perfect cold approach as a beginner on the street. By the way, use your surroundings! Canned openers are creepy.

 

[Masculinity]

Robyn... I looked at the thread. Very good info in there! The thing that's tossing me is that the only time I see this girl is when we're both getting coffee in the morning before class... Not much time to get a solid approach in as we're both rushing to head to class. Just need some tips on how to go about that... do I just need to sack up and do it?

Give some stats on the girl you like. is she a blonde, what kind of hb(hot babe) and the rating in the scale (1-10). Read the DJ Bible; there a literally hundreds of things to learn there, but my own advice would be don't get stuck with this girl. The question I get asked the most is "how do I get this girl to like me?" "there's this girl over at this place that I really like, how do I get her?

The question is not how do you get her. The question is: how do you get a hundred of them and get your game rolling. Don't put too much effort on a particular girl unless she gives you reasons and takes very good care of you (sexually, being sweet, cooking for you, paying for you at times, and just being good to you). This is what I find attractive myself; you might be different or you might like the same things.

The " I think you're cute" opener works well depending on how you say it and your back-up game. You have to show higher value. Give me some more details in the chick.

 

[Blusher]

Interesting question.

Remember it's not some much about what you guys are going to talk about but more about HOW you're going to talk about it. If it's light and funny, it qualifies as flirt and it's going somewhere (namely to your bed at some point).

So how do you go about it?

You pointed out that it's easier when you are somewhat familiar with the girl and share common interests/environment.

Like I said it's not about WHAT you say but HOW you say it.
So let's talk about tonality here.

When I approach a girl I talk to her with the same tone of voice I would use when talking to someone I already know. You imply familiarity and she replies in the same manner. Try it and see how it works for you, even for a short remark in passing.

 

[Burton8219]

Give some stats on the girl you like. is she a blonde, what kind of hb(hot babe) and the rating in the scale (1-10). Read the DJ Bible; there a literally hundreds of things to learn there, but my own advice would be don't get stuck with this girl. The question I get asked the most is "how do I get this girl to like me?" "there's this girl over at this place that I really like, how do I get her?

The question is not how do you get her. The question is: how do you get a hundred of them and get your game rolling. Don't put too much effort on a particular girl unless she gives you reasons and takes very good care of you (sexually, being sweet, cooking for you, paying for you at times, and just being good to you). This is what I find attractive myself; you might be different or you might like the same things.

The " I think you're cute" opener works well depending on how you say it and your back-up game. You have to show higher value. Give me some more details in the chick.

I'm definitely not stuck on the girl... it's just a girl I see quite often (albeit for a short period of time) that I think is cute. HB8.5-9, brunette, nice body, a little taller than me (I'm 5'8-5'9). I don't really care too much about her height. Definitely not focusing only on this one chick. I think I'm honestly just gonna grow a pair and say "hey I see you here a lot and just wanted to introduce myself" or something along those lines. Put up or shut up I guess.

 

[Masculinity]

I'm definitely not stuck on the girl... it's just a girl I see quite often (albeit for a short period of time) that I think is cute. HB8.5-9, brunette, nice body, a little taller than me (I'm 5'8-5'9). I don't really care too much about her height. Definitely not focusing only on this one chick. I think I'm honestly just gonna grow a pair and say "hey I see you here a lot and just wanted to introduce myself" or something along those lines. Put up or shut up I guess.

If you really got a pair, I dare you to open up with this one:

Just grab her by the hand when you see her or call her over. If you grab her by the hand, sweet. If not, then say "hey!" really loud and when she turns around say "come over here, kiddo...yeah you." When she comes over say: "Hey are you shy or something? (pause) I see you quite often here and you haven't come up to me to try to say or get my number...are my good looks THAT intimidating? What's going on here? (put on a smirk)

I'm going to try this one this week. It just sounds like a load of fun, haha.

 

[Burton8219]

If you really got a pair, I dare you to open up with this one:

Just grab her by the hand when you see her or call her over. If you grab her by the hand, sweet. If not, then say "hey!" really loud and when she turns around say "come over here, kiddo...yeah you." When she comes over say: "Hey are you shy or something? (pause) I see you quite often here and you haven't come up to me to try to say or get my number...are my good looks THAT intimidating? What's going on here? (put on a smirk)

I'm going to try this one this week. It just sounds like a load of fun, haha.

That seems a good approach for me... I am quite fluent in ****y sarcasm. Any other advice from other DJ's?

 

[TheMale]

If you really got a pair, I dare you to open up with this one:

Just grab her by the hand when you see her or call her over. If you grab her by the hand, sweet. If not, then say "hey!" really loud and when she turns around say "come over here, kiddo...yeah you." When she comes over say: "Hey are you shy or something? (pause) I see you quite often here and you haven't come up to me to try to say or get my number...are my good looks THAT intimidating? What's going on here? (put on a smirk)

I'm going to try this one this week. It just sounds like a load of fun, haha.

like it !
but i dont know why sounds familiar to me i think ive already heard that opener ...

 

[rocket87]

kiddo...yeah you.

What's with you calling girls kids/kiddos/children/etc.?

 

[TheMale]

its all a matter of ****y and funny ...
you dont give a **** what shes gonna think about it (sure you need to have this smyle ...) but if you say it the right way it can really work !

its like when you see a set and you say 'hey guys...'

 

[Burton8219]

Sorry I haven't responded in a while guys... started approaching other girls and seems to be going well. Got a few number closes... Now I just have to get the one I want.

 

[snowdog]

Hey Guys,

First post. Looking for some good info and advice and knew I could get some here. When I say "random" in the title I don't mean girl I've never met before per se, but a girl that I have literally no connection or anything with. I'm fine with approaching girls I've never met that are in classes and stuff like that because I always have that thing to start the conversation, but have never walked up to a random girl I see walking around campus or anything like that (I'm in college btw). So really I'm just looking for some tips on how to go about this. I'm fine with conversation once I get it started, but getting it started is what's giving me problems mentally right now.

So how should I go about this? Like if someone could give me a step by step on how this should go down and have the most success I would be stoked. How long should eye contact be before it starts to turn into a stare? Stuff like that. She's about an inch or so taller than me (I'm between 5'8 and 5'9), but I don't really have a problem with that.

I know it's kind of pathetic to be asking for help when I'm already in college, but I've always gotten with chicks in high school through like mutual friends and never really had to go up to a chick and start conversation. Any advice you guys could relay would be awesome.

Thanks in advance and hope to stick around for a while,
Burton

Good for you that you're going for it! You can be proud of yourself. Nothing pathetic about it. At least you got the balls to admit you need to improve. You're already past most guys who're having trouble with this.


Step 1:
Don't have a plan, or even an opener for that matter.

Step 2:
Don't think about what's gonna happen or what could happen. Be in the moment and be yourself.

Step 3:
Remember, she's just a girl, not a goddess. Act accordingly, just be cool. Be confident about yourself, look her in the eye and say whatever comes to mind. Even (especially) when it's totally ridiculous. It makes you stand out from all the suckers who do have a plan, use techniques and have fixed opener. Girls don't like clowns with tricks, they like a man who's comfortable being who he wants to be.

Step 4:
Rely on your impulses and react to them without giving them thought. When you even slightly have the urge to touch her, kiss her or ask for her number, go for it. No ****ing breaks.

Step 5:
Forget everything you think you know (including what you just read) and just go for it. That's the essence.



Forget plans, openers and tactics and just be natural, man. It'll feel like walking out of a prison.

 

[zm976311]

I have been looking for a thread like this. I think what would help me is if some other DJ's gave examples of what they would do in a situation like this. Thanks.

 

[snowdog]

see previous post

 

[Burton8219]

Hey Guys... So I sacked up and did it and closed! Talked for a while about school and home and whatnot. Small problem now... we go on spring break for about a week. We live pretty close from one another and both similar distance from the "big" city (Manhattan). Should I try and set up a date where we both meet each other in the city or is that too much for a first date? Another problem is we only have a few weeks until the end of the year once we get back from school. Not much time to build on anything.

Lemme know what you guys think.

 

[Masculinity]

Hey Guys... So I sacked up and did it and closed! Talked for a while about school and home and whatnot. Small problem now... we go on spring break for about a week. We live pretty close from one another and both similar distance from the "big" city (Manhattan). Should I try and set up a date where we both meet each other in the city or is that too much for a first date? Another problem is we only have a few weeks until the end of the year once we get back from school. Not much time to build on anything.

Lemme know what you guys think.

Woohoo! What approach did you use? We want to know details

 

[Masculinity]

What's with you calling girls kids/kiddos/children/etc.?

It works like a charm, I simply don't give a crap and it turns out pretty well =]