Approaching hot babes-I had it now its gone :(

[MasterYoda]

Hi I am from England,UK. I am really new to the board and haven't read anything about picking up women yet in fact I stumble across this by accident trying to find a solution to my problem.. I have this small but big problem.

OK here is the problem(s) I am not attractive looking man(actually I consider myself below average). when I was about 15-16 years old I used to have no trouble walking up to girls and getting their number(and they would actually give it to men, However now that I'm 22 years old I don't do this anymore I stopped doing this after my friends advised me that I was weird and I was using the wrong skills. They told me to wait for them to come to you or have your friend introduce you. Anyway thats another story for another time).

All I used to do is go up to them and say "Hi, I think your quite good looking and would like to ask you out sometime. Give me your digits and I'll give you a call" I really didn't wait to get or give signals I just went to them and got the number (I figured chances are I will never see her again if she rejects me anyway and I will be kicking myself if I let her slip away and she actually did date me so why not get that number and if it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't).

I would say 7-8 times out of 10 she would give me the correct number no problem. I call them a day later or maybe two and I have a chat with them no problem, sometimes they will tell me they have a b/f in which case I respectfully tell them I understand and I made a mistake. Here is where the problem is. Its the "follow up" I can't seem to ask them out and actually get them to come. One guy told me to be more commanding and say "I will be in town on ___day so I'd like to take you to _______ which is a resturant I like. Would 8 be OK?". Would this be better?

Here is an example of something that happened last week. I saw this absolute stunning hottie and her friend. (They were both in the 9's and 10's if you want ratings). They were walking towards me and I was walking towards them. I looked at the brunette one and she kept looking at me then looking away(very brief eye contact, I'd say 3 secs per glance). After buying my groceries I came accross them a second time and complimented her and she just walked past. Later I met a friend of mine who is pretty good with the ladies and he said I did it all wring.

What am I doing wrong?Do you really need to wait for signals and body language before you approach her?


I bought a few books today to help me out because I lost "The Game" I used to have I also plan to buy some material from sosuave.com and deaneglo.

If there is anything you guys can do to help me then please do so. I look foward to getting some good replies.

 

[VegasGuy56]

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Here, read every page of that. Trust me, it will help.

 

[MasterYoda]

Thanks so far

Thanks for the replies DevanE and VegasGuy56 . I pray I get more help from others.

DevanE those approaches that you said I should do don't work anymore especially on the hot women because they will either give you an evil glare(the model material type) or they will say "I have a Boyfriend" (which is blantenly a way of putting me off or they will plain pretend they didn't hear. There are numerous things that they do. I have also ended being friends with a few which pisses me off.


OK

You know that example of that hottie and her hottie friend that walk towards me that I gave. What would you have done in my shoes?

 

[Sargeholic]

Remember, some women do actually have boyfriends. Its not always a blowoff. In fact, the majority of times this excuse is delivered it is true.

 

[milkman]

Re: Thanks so far

Originally posted by MasterYoda
those approaches that you said I should do don't work anymore especially on the hot women because they will either give you an evil glare(the model material type) or they will say "I have a Boyfriend" (which is blantenly a way of putting me off or they will plain pretend they didn't hear.

If your first response after approaching the woman is negative, usually there is one of two reasons.

1. You are doing something wrong before the approach

2. You are doing something wrong during the approach

Expected outcome should be that the woman is totally happy that you are talking to her at the very beginning. If this doesn´t happen in most cases, give us more information that we know what we have to fix.

 

[MasterYoda]

I did give an example.

I was walking to the supermarket when I saw these 2 gourgeous women(I need to emphasize gourgeous. 1 looked like Catherine Zeta-Jone and the other looked like Jessica simpson). They had that "We are the hottest women in England" look in the faces. It was as if they had an aura around them or something.

Any way they were walking toward me and I thought wow these chicks are hot. So I tried to make eye contact with her. She gave me eye contact but it was not eye contact for a long period as soon as I smiled she looked away like "what a loser" look. I then walked past both of them. After shopping I was kicking myself because I couldn't believe I let such nice women go past and not say a word. Anyway as I walked out of the shop there they were again walking towards me. I couldn't believe my luck. So as they were walking to and I said "hi how are you?" and then didn't even look at me. I mean if I had a heart attack on that spot they would even notice or wouldn't care.

Now what would you have done?

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by MasterYoda

I was walking to the supermarket when I saw these 2 gourgeous women(I need to emphasize gourgeous. 1 looked like Catherine Zeta-Jone and the other looked like Jessica simpson). They had that "We are the hottest women in England" look in the faces. It was as if they had an aura around them or something.

Sounds interesing, these kind of women are usually easy to approach cause very few men will approach them directly and serious. But these women have tons of daily experience with stalker guys who look their eyes out of them and who are insecure around them and walk around looking for a chance to approach them. Avoid being one of this poor guys.

Originally posted by MasterYoda

Any way they were walking toward me and I thought wow these chicks are hot.

That is the moment to start being ACTIVE.

Originally posted by MasterYoda

So I tried to make eye contact with her.

Go directly towards them (choose the shortest way). Eye contact is good, smiling is also good. But avoid a nervous smile, it should be a smile like "I have seen something really special and interesting, let´s see..."

Originally posted by MasterYoda

She gave me eye contact but it was not eye contact for a long period as soon as I smiled she looked away like "what a loser" look.

Don´t look for approach invitations from a woman. It´s good to get IOIs but even without IOIs, don´t wait, you should already be on your way directly to her. Simply don´t care about signs from her, instead GO.

"Loser look" was the result that you wasn´t acting at this point and instead you was waiting for one of them to give you approval to approach. That catapultated you in the no-no-not-one-more-stalker categorie. From here on chances are maybe 1 to 1000 that you can win them easily back, no matter how experienced you are.

Originally posted by MasterYoda

I then walked past both of them.

Out of game, you are dead....

Originally posted by MasterYoda

After shopping I was kicking myself because I couldn't believe I let such nice women go past and not say a word.

That´s what thousands of other guys who every day look at this beautiful women and wait and wait and wait and then getting the "loser look" also feel. You are not alone.

Originally posted by MasterYoda
Anyway as I walked out of the shop there they were again walking towards me. I couldn't believe my luck.

Doesn´t matter if you see them again, chances were already gone. Okay, of course you can and should nevertheless go for it but for sure you have missed a better opportunity before.

Originally posted by MasterYoda

So as they were walking to and I said "hi how are you?"

Kind of lame. This can work if you really have a great body language, voice tone, overall appearance, if you are the real deal. Better try for exampel something with the effect to "You two are really beautiful, I have to talk to you" and then without waiting for approval calm it down a bit with immediatly saying something like "Haven´t seen you here before, are you two from around here".

I am not a friend of scripted talk. What you say really doesn´t matter that much, important is your whole appearance, that you stop the girls (you sometimes really have to stop them) and that you are serious with it.

Originally posted by MasterYoda

and then didn't even look at me. I mean if I had a heart attack on that spot they would even notice or wouldn't care.

Yes, this can happen then. But after all, have you been the man in this situation these women were looking for? Next time, be the man these girls are draming of who is not like all the other.

Having said that, you have tried it out, next time you´ll be a bit more successfull, the again a bit more... You are on your way. Good luck.

 

[MasterYoda]

interersting stuff on the ladies

That sounds interesting to me man. I might have to work on these these things.

 

[\O/]

These two hotties you are talking about sounds really stuck-up and with the well known *****-attitude. It's not easy to confront a 2set like that when you are alone. They will most of the time shoot you down right there and thus inflating their ego's even more. Giving them attention that are directred towards the way they look will almost always fail. It's definately the wrong way to go, as these *****es KNOWS they are hot and are EXPECTING you to acknowlege it. You should lock eyes with one of them (just one!, Don't let your eyes wonder from one to the other) smile and say Hi. If she doesn't smile or say hi back, she isn't worth your time anyways. If she does, then great. Nice little confidence-booster right there. But if you don't possess some really awesome skills, i think approaching two hotties, that you claim to be much better-looking than yourself, is a suicide approach. Especially when they have their noses in the air and are thinkin' they are the ****. You are likely to be shot down, rediculed and in the end have less confidence than you had prior to the approach. But hey..many people say that rejection is better than regret, so if you feel that your confidence won't be affected by this, then i say go for it. Just don't talk about how hot or sexy they are..don't put them on a pedestal. Don't let them think that you feel inferior to them and that they are too good for you ( even if that's actually how you feel inside)..

I also think you should read up on the bible, 'cause there you'll find great tips on how to act in situations similar to this. I think you have some balls, but i actually think you had the right mindset when you were 15-16. Although you should try to establish some rapport before getting the number and then split. Except for the "you're so beautiful"-part, your number approach was pretty much textbook...

 

[MasterYoda]

trust me these chickis were very stuck up man. I think it wasn't destined to happen because all the odds were against me.

 

[Stranger]

Hey MasterYoda, my advice would be to approach average girls first. you should be less nervous with more chance of success. gradually build your confidence until a rejection from a girl will not affect you. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS ADVICE, they sound like chumps, no offense.

read around, there is alot of useful information here.

 

[MasterYoda]

I agree

No offence taken stranger I too think my friends are a bunch of chumps now. When we go out to clubs all they do is stand around in the corner the room and wait for women to approach them. They even stand there in the corner and pinch the asses of women in the club.

I read an interesting post today on neg hits. I disagree with neg hits at the moment but is it at all possible I could have negged on of these ladies?

 

[Kalel21]

Probably not because they were walking towards you. But I could be wrong hopefully the experst can help you........

 

[MasterYoda]

does anyone wlse have any suggestions? Come on people please

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Approaching women is all about getting their attention and appearing different than all the other guys. This is key to success. You gotta get a reaction from them. If you make normal convo with them and just act like a regular nice guy, you have a chance, but if you can make them laugh, take all their power from them just by ignoring their good looks, make them say to themselves, "Who does this guy think HE IS?", or do all three, you're gold. I want you to tease them, treat them like they're no better than anyone else and like if anything, they're the ones who should be thanking God you approached them. At the same time, keep it all positive. Don't talk to them like you hate women or anything stupid like that.... just don't be afraid to make them talk to you on YOUR terms. Hot women are used to getting everything their way, and most of them never really find a man who they can't control. Put simply, it's your reality, not theirs....
once again:
take away all the power that they would normally have over men such as yourself... this is done by treating them like they're equals at best, and disregarding their looks (don't even MENTION their appearance).... teasing them is one of the best ways to go about this
teasing also makes them laugh, which is good.... I swear to you, teasing, and playfully making fun of women is very powerful
flirt, but don't show too much interest in them. Coming on too strong is bad. Getting women requires a little effort, but if she isn't at least meeting you halfway, you aren't doing it right.