Approaching classmates

[Jariel]

This is actually one of the easiest situations in my opinion. If you have your eye on a girl in your class at school, college, uni etc and you want to get talking to her, all you need to do is leave the class the same time as she does and casually ask "How did you find that class?" or "What do you think of these classes?" or something relating to your common situation (phatic communication).

The way she answers this question will be very revealing. If she gives you a short answer and adds nothing to it, she's probably not interested. If she seems receptive to talking to you, continue talking, ask questions about why she is studying there, what she wants to do after finishing her studies etc until you feel a sense of rapport.

If the conversation is going well and neither of you are rushing to be somewhere, you can ask her if she wants to get a coffee. Now you have broken the ice and have made a potential friend if not anything more.

Now, it's better if you DON'T ask for her number or a date at this point. Doing so indicates that you had ulterior motives all along and that reflects badly on you. It also puts pressure on her to make a decision on a guy she has only just met.

There's no rush; you will see her in your next class and this will give her plenty of time to think about you and let her imagination idealise you. The next time you meet, you can resume talking, ask her out and get her number with ease.

With a little adaption the same approach could be used with women at work, church or any place where you see her regularly.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Good point Jariel. I have been trying to work out how to deal with these situations where you see girls regularly, and I too have found that rather than asking for a number, a suggestion of a coffee or a drink afterwards works great. If she says she has to dash, then you can quite naturally say-well how about we meet up for a drink midweek. Give me your number and we can arrange something. However like Jariel said it is better to wait a few meetings to get to know her a bit first rather than asking for the number immediately.

I find it is best to play it casually and be less forward then you would in a bar or club where you are unlikely to see the girl again. Remember that you need to make it easy for her to blow you off without either of you losing face as you will see the girl for the rest of the year.

 

[Jariel]

Remember that you need to make it easy for her to blow you off without either of you losing face as you will see the girl for the rest of the year.

Good point.

 

[Fred Da Head]

Personally I think it's more productive to use classmates as pivots. As was pointed out, you'll be stuck seeing these girls regularly for at least one semester, so you might as well try and become "friends" with them and meet other girls through them. It might just be because of my situation (advanced program in a tiny school, so I have mostly the same people in all my classes) but it can get very awkward if you mess things up with a girl you see all the time.

I think the original post gives good ideas though, if you really want to approach the girls in your classes.

 

[izza]

What would you do if she does have a class right after, for example? I suppose the important part is to build the rapport. Excellent point about keeping things pressure free, and not revealing the ulterior motives right away.

Izza

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

I wanna approach a girl in my class, I always see her glancing at me, I think the best way to approach is to just talk about casual things like class, how was that test, isnt he boring etc. Like Exp, I had a bad experience too. I approached a chick in class, came out too forward, asked for her name,etc. The remaining weeks of class we wouldnt glance or even talk to each other. Not only that, I've made friends with other chicks, and whadya know she is their distant friend. It gets even worse, the same chick is now in one of my classes, its just too awkward.

I also approached a chick that works in the mall once, I felt a vibe with her but got rejected. I work near the mall and go their to eat quite often, AND EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO IN THE MALL to go eat, i pass by the stand she works at and she glances at me, not nasty looks, but it feels awkward man. See but if you are too anal over who you are gonna approach you'll never get anywhere. Just never be to obvious in your intent.+

 

[Suckaazzclown]

all ya'll playaz have a choice.

On the first day of class, you see dat row of seats.

There's the hot breezy on da left.
there's that dude 2 seats back.

Sit next to da breezy or near her...

 

[theory of knowledge]

its hard to keep that element of surprise/mysterty when you date your class mates i found out personally.