Approaches

[Reincarnated]

I've been at a relatively popular festival this weekend, with heavy drinking involved, and I've been cognizant in observing that almost no guys are approaching groups of young single women who in past years would've been easy for the picking. It seems to me that these women are literally encouraging approaches, yet yuppies, many of them single, won't do it

Any similar experiences?

 

[Travel memoir21]

Concert Festivals seems to be a good time to approach and socialize with people.

 

[BPH]

I've been at a relatively popular festival this weekend, with heavy drinking involved, and I've been cognizant in observing that almost no guys are approaching groups of young single women who in past years would've been easy for the picking. It seems to me that these women are literally encouraging approaches, yet yuppies, many of them single, won't do it

Any similar experiences?

Bro...nobody approaches...that's why everybody's looking for a cheat code so they don't have to do the obvious thing.

 

[SW15]

I disagree with the idea that women are encouraging approaches. Most women in most settings are actively trying to discourage approaches.

Women have spent the last 20 years using earbuds/headphones to discourage approaches in the gym, on outdoor paths, and at parks. That's probably also true of pure street game but I don't have much pure street game experience since my large US city isn't conducive to street game.

At parks and on paths, women will occasionally be together in groups of 2-3. A solo guy can approach these women but it's more challenging since there's a target woman and some secondary woman. Approaching an already isolated woman is going to be easier.

In the 2nd half of the 2010s prior to the pandemic, I was starting to see more women using earbuds in the grocery store. I think they were doing it to discourage approaches. I haven't noticed that in the 2020s. I don't think women are actively encouraging grocery store approaches either, but far fewer are wearing earbuds/headphones as compared to parks, paths, and the gym.

I have scaled back my bar approaches over time. Everything that I've heard has told me that even bar approaching has become less common.

The approach is becoming less common in general as more initiation has shifted to swipe apps and social media DMs.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The approach is becoming less common in general as more initiation has shifted to swipe apps and social media DMs.

Even though I don’t have Instagram, I can hypothesize that many successful seductions nowadays involve their DM feature, especially for the younger generation.

Coaches can maximize their earnings by optimizing their clients' accounts to attract and engage others online. For example, what should you say to a woman who posts a lot of stories? What should you say to a long time acquaintance that barely posts and is recently single? What kind of pictures can you share to reflect someone else’s hobbies? How can you encourage engagement with others even if you don’t have much in common? The combinations are endless.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Even though I don’t have Instagram, I can hypothesize that many successful seductions nowadays involve their DM feature, especially for the younger generation.

Coaches can maximize their earnings by optimizing their clients' accounts to attract and engage others online. For example, what should you say to a woman who posts a lot of stories? What should you say to a long time acquaintance that barely posts and is recently single? What kind of pictures can you share to reflect someone else’s hobbies? How can you encourage engagement with others even if you don’t have much in common? The combinations are endless.

oh please, approaching will never die

 

[Clockwerk50]

oh please, approaching will never die

Thank god there are cold approaches, online dating approaches, warm approaches, contextual approaches, social media approaches, group approaches, shared interest approaches, and event-based approaches.

Yes, the list was generated by ChatGPT, and yes, I never said it would die.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've been at a relatively popular festival this weekend, with heavy drinking involved, and I've been cognizant in observing that almost no guys are approaching groups of young single women who in past years would've been easy for the picking. It seems to me that these women are literally encouraging approaches, yet yuppies, many of them single, won't do it

Any similar experiences?

I have observed similar.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I've been at a relatively popular festival this weekend, with heavy drinking involved...

In our current social climate, hunting for cooter in booze-soaked venues is less advisable than walking through Tamaulipas rocking a T-shirt with the words "Los Zetas Blows", emblazoned across the front, in bright maroon letters

Unless one's idea of R&R includes fighting off false r-pe accusations, it's prudent to find your women in zones where everyone's at least sober-ish

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I would chime in but I signed a NDA.

 

[SW15]

In our current social climate, hunting for cooter in booze-soaked venues is less advisable than walking through Tamaulipas rocking a T-shirt with the words "Los Zetas Blows", emblazoned across the front, in bright maroon letters

Unless one's idea of R&R includes fighting off false r-pe accusations, it's prudent to find your women in zones where everyone's at least sober-ish

People are still doing approaches at nightlife venues. Approaching at nightlife venues has been declining for a while though. Most of that action has shifted to swipe apps and social media DMing. It's still possible to go to nightlife venues in bigger cities on Friday and Saturday nights and do approaches, but fewer men are doing them. Additionally, fewer women are as receptive to them now as their age equivalents would have been 20 years ago.

Non-bar approaching has always been a niche activity. I think non-bar approaching has declined somewhat but it's less noticeable that the declines in nightlife approaching. More people in recent past decades (1990s - mid-2010s) were nightlife venue approaches than non-bar approachers.

Nightlife venues have really fallen off for finding first dates in the last 15 years or so. They are still a source for same night sex, but finding a woman who'd be good in dating at a nightlife venue is more difficult, especially later nights at nightlife venues. There's a case to be made that weeknight happy hour type bar game (5-8 PM or so) is a better play for finding a longer term dating partner than the latest nights at the bars.

Bars are also evolving. Bars are still a common place for people to host their swipe app and social media DM arranged dates.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I've been at a relatively popular festival this weekend, with heavy drinking involved, and I've been cognizant in observing that almost no guys are approaching groups of young single women who in past years would've been easy for the picking. It seems to me that these women are literally encouraging approaches, yet yuppies, many of them single, won't do it

Any similar experiences?

Were you one of the guys that wasn't approaching the women?

If so, "be the change you want to see in the world".

Second, guys ain't approaching because they'd rather sit on their scared, lazy asses and swipe all day.

 

[Ricky]

Gen X guys are used to approaching and Gen X women are used to being approached
Millenials probably not as much.

If you are good at approaching women and have been doing it since 2000 women of all ages love it.

 

[Reincarnated]

Were you one of the guys that wasn't approaching the women?

If so, "be the change you want to see in the world".

Second, guys ain't approaching because they'd rather sit on their scared, lazy asses and swipe all day.

Lol, no I was already in conversation with a mixed group, some people I already knew, some people who were new/strangers. It was just very interesting how obvious it was from the line of sight I had. Once I noticed it with that particular group, it clicked in my mind that this was more common than I previously realized.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The approach is becoming less common in general as more initiation has shifted to swipe apps and social media DMs.

Males are the initiators

if approach is becoming less common it's because men are not approaching

Modern men have become passive wanting females too give them a 100% green light to approach and even then some still won't do it

This is why you may swell take your shot because if most guys are too scared too then theres less competition..... and I've said this before if you do approach her well and your not creepy / wierd

if she finds you funny or whatever she's going to give you A LOT of bonus points

the risk of being ghosted or flaked decreases massively

The alternative is spending 4 hours a day on swipe apps having the same rhetorical conversations that lead nowhere

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

the risk of being ghosted or flaked decreases massively

And might even dwindle to nothing. When you learn to strike when the casual conversation heats up, you will rarely if ever get ghosted or flaked on. But you have to be selective and not engage when the interest is lukewarm. If they're not enthusiastic from the start, best to finish the conversation and move on.

Too many guys here move forward dating someone who is low-interest. I guess that's what you get with dating apps. And I wouldn't know how to solve that except to move away from dating apps and get back to talking to women in person. The rejections you get are a measure of your social calibration, the better you're calibrated to the social interaction, the fewer rejections you get because you won't escalate on the lukewarm interest.

 

[SW15]

Males are the initiators

if approach is becoming less common it's because men are not approaching

Men might not be approaching in person as much but men are still initiating plenty. Male initiation has mostly shifted to tech-based methods.

Modern men have become passive wanting females too give them a 100% green light to approach and even then some still won't do it

This is why you may well take your shot because if most guys are too scared too then theres less competition..... and I've said this before if you do approach her well and your not creepy / wierd

if she finds you funny or whatever she's going to give you A LOT of bonus points

the risk of being ghosted or flaked decreases massively

I don't think looking for IOIs before approaching is a bad idea. It does reduce the number of interactions in person that go nowhere, either from a hard rejection or a soft rejection (a conversation that fizzles out before a date offer happens).

Ghosting and flaking are problems in both real life and tech-based approaching. Ghosting and flaking did become more common when tech-based methods of initiation started.

The alternative is spending 4 hours a day on swipe apps having the same rhetorical conversations that lead nowhere

A lot of men like tech-based stuff because it's easy to sit at home, not look presentable to the outside world, and initiate interactions.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Men might not be approaching in person as much but men are still initiating plenty. Male initiation has mostly shifted to tech-based methods.



I don't think looking for IOIs before approaching is a bad idea. It does reduce the number of interactions in person that go nowhere, either from a hard rejection or a soft rejection (a conversation that fizzles out before a date offer happens).

Ghosting and flaking are problems in both real life and tech-based approaching. Ghosting and flaking did become more common when tech-based methods of initiation started.



A lot of men like tech-based stuff because it's easy to sit at home, not look presentable to the outside world, and initiate interactions.

Yea tech based methods which women have absolutely zero respect for

Your just another horny idiot shooting messages from behind a screen because you have no balls

Women are not FVCKING stupid ,Tech based dating / Interaction is not a new thing its been going on for a decade women are acutely aware of what type of men are going to try and interact with them solely online they probably have done the conversation 10000 times Already

Its why their so bored of it

Looking for IOI's is fine , but just doing an approach anyway signals to her your a man thats not afraid to make a move

Do not underestimate how stimulating this is for a woman in a world where so many men are timid around her

She is desperately craving a LEADER her entire feminine instinct is screaming for it

 

[Doctor Doom]

Welcome to the Swipe Era. Some chicks will find it weird to be approached face-to-face but, will feel like a queen if her notifications are blowing up with “virtual” approaches.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Lol, no I was already in conversation with a mixed group, some people I already knew, some people who were new/strangers. It was just very interesting how obvious it was from the line of sight I had.

I feel it.

Once I noticed it with that particular group, it clicked in my mind that this was more common than I previously realized.

Yup, it is common than you previously realized, and it is here to stay.

Lol, no I was already in conversation with a mixed group, some people I already knew, some people who were new/strangers. It was just very interesting how obvious it was from the line of sight I had. Once I noticed it with that particular group, it clicked in my mind that this was more common than I previously realized.

I don't think cold approaching, by mere definition, was ever a thing that was fully practiced by men as a whole....outside of nightgame scenarios.

Daygame was never fully embraced.

Nowadays, men have become a bunch of chicken-hawks because of OLD.

When it comes to approaching women-strangers at the supermarket, men are cowardly chickens and wouldn't dare approach women-strangers even if you paid them.

But those same women, if they appeared on a swipe app, men will become hawks...brave, unafraid, and full of courage.

Pretty sad and pathetic, to say the least.