Approach at work, no close.

[Das]

While I was at work today I noticed a woman walking around and checking me out. I was a little busy with something that I had to finish so I let her go on by. A couple of minutes later she came back around the corner and walks by slowly and checks me over again. She gets past me and is looking over her shoulder ate me and when she saw mw looking at her she lokked away real quick and looked back to see if I was still looking. So I walked up to her.

Me: "Hi. Do you need help with anything?" (Lamest opener in the world, but I'm at work so I have to say it.)

Her: "No just looking around"

Me: " Oh ok then. I haven't seen you around before."

Her: "I just moved here from New York"

Me: "I'm George, by the way. It's nice to meet you. What's your name?" and I held out my hand

Her: "Kim" And we shook hands

Me: "So what brings you to the lovely middle of nowhere?"

Her: "I used to live with my fiancee, but he died in a car crash about six months ago. I had too many memories of him up there so I moved down here with my parents"

I'm thinking I have to change the subject NOW!

me: "I'm sorry to hear that."

Her: "Yeah"

Me : "So, Kim, you're from here originally?"

Her: "No we're from Pennsylvania"

Me: "Then why here?"

Her: "excuse me?"

Me: "Your parents. If you guys are from PA, why did they move here?"

Her: "Oh they live in strange places."

Me :Really?

her: "Yeah we were in north carolina for a while. It was sooo boring."

Me: "I'll bet"

her: "Yeah there was nothing to do there so me and my fiancee left and moved to new york. There were so many clubs and bars and things to do there."

Again with the dead fiancee.

Me: "good thing you moved here then. Theres plenty of bars."

her: "yeah? I haven't seen any." Which is odd she said that because theres two directly across the street from the store, and the best way to give directions in town is to navigate by bars. But she's new in town and so mayby she just hasn't noticed yet.

So I name a few bars in town and where they were at and her face lights up

Her: "Clubs?"

Me "Not really, unless you count Jenny's. But its really just a small bar with a smaller dance floor."

her (slightly dissappointed): "Oh." (She lights up again) "Kareoke? I love kareoke!"

me: "Yeah actully, they have kareoke tonight at Kavenaugh's. If your not doing anything tonight let's go there."

And she got this sad look on her face again like when she thought of the fiancee

her: "Uh I got to go."

I think I hit the dead fiancee button again.

me: "It'll be fun"

her: "no, no, I got to go"

She looks even more upset

Me: "Ok then. Look, It's been nice meeting you Kim. I'll see you around then"

Her: "Yeah. Bye" And she smiles but its one of those sad types of smiles and starts to walk away again. I turned a little bit to see what I had to do next and I caught her looking back at me again over her shoulder out of the corner of my eye. She rounded the corner and was gone.



Now I'm not expierenced at all with approaching. I've never gotten anyone to go on a date or to hook up with me later. SO I don't know if I was doing good or bad.

I didn't get a number from her, and I'm at work in a busy store so a kiss close was pretty much out of the question, I think. I believe I was headed in the right direction but she's coming off of a recent death so mayby it's just my bad luck that I kept going back to the fiancee accidentally. So was I on the right track?

Your comments are appriciated.

 

[Prodigy746]

While I was at work today I noticed a woman walking around and checking me out. I was a little busy with something that I had to finish so I let her go on by. A couple of minutes later she came back around the corner and walks by slowly and checks me over again. She gets past me and is looking over her shoulder ate me and when she saw mw looking at her she lokked away real quick and looked back to see if I was still looking. So I walked up to her.

Me: "Hi. Do you need help with anything?" (Lamest opener in the world, but I'm at work so I have to say it.)

Her: "No just looking around"

Me: " Oh ok then. I haven't seen you around before."

Her: "I just moved here from New York"

Me: "I'm George, by the way. It's nice to meet you. What's your name?" and I held out my hand

Her: "Kim" And we shook hands

Me: "So what brings you to the lovely middle of nowhere?"

Her: "I used to live with my fiancee, but he died in a car crash about six months ago. I had too many memories of him up there so I moved down here with my parents"

I'm thinking I have to change the subject NOW!

me: "I'm sorry to hear that."

Her: "Yeah"

Me : "So, Kim, you're from here originally?"

Her: "No we're from Pennsylvania"

Me: "Then why here?"

Her: "excuse me?"

Me: "Your parents. If you guys are from PA, why did they move here?"

Her: "Oh they live in strange places."

Me :Really?

her: "Yeah we were in north carolina for a while. It was sooo boring."

Me: "I'll bet"

her: "Yeah there was nothing to do there so me and my fiancee left and moved to new york. There were so many clubs and bars and things to do there."

Again with the dead fiancee.

Me: "good thing you moved here then. Theres plenty of bars."

her: "yeah? I haven't seen any." Which is odd she said that because theres two directly across the street from the store, and the best way to give directions in town is to navigate by bars. But she's new in town and so mayby she just hasn't noticed yet.

So I name a few bars in town and where they were at and her face lights up

Her: "Clubs?"

Me "Not really, unless you count Jenny's. But its really just a small bar with a smaller dance floor."

her (slightly dissappointed): "Oh." (She lights up again) "Kareoke? I love kareoke!"

me: "Yeah actully, they have kareoke tonight at Kavenaugh's. If your not doing anything tonight let's go there."

And she got this sad look on her face again like when she thought of the fiancee

her: "Uh I got to go."

I think I hit the dead fiancee button again.

me: "It'll be fun"

her: "no, no, I got to go"

She looks even more upset

Me: "Ok then. Look, It's been nice meeting you Kim. I'll see you around then"

Her: "Yeah. Bye" And she smiles but its one of those sad types of smiles and starts to walk away again. I turned a little bit to see what I had to do next and I caught her looking back at me again over her shoulder out of the corner of my eye. She rounded the corner and was gone.



Now I'm not expierenced at all with approaching. I've never gotten anyone to go on a date or to hook up with me later. SO I don't know if I was doing good or bad.

I didn't get a number from her, and I'm at work in a busy store so a kiss close was pretty much out of the question, I think. I believe I was headed in the right direction but she's coming off of a recent death so mayby it's just my bad luck that I kept going back to the fiancee accidentally. So was I on the right track?

Your comments are appriciated.

Dood you dont kiss close a girl that you havent even gotten a number from. You have to be on a date to kiss close IMO

 

[tsmith2334]

Probably not ready to move on from her fiance. Nothing you could do.

 

[ElStud]

Good to see someone else posting FR's dude. Don't worry too much about opener, it's just something to open the set with and no opener is really lame. What matters a great deal more is what you're actually conveying when you open. Most of this was fluff talk though dude. If you really want to move things on though, cut the fluff and do something to hook her. Use C+F, neg her, tease her or just tell a story, so long as your conveying your personality to her. Once she's hooked and you'll know she's hooked when she's laughing at even the dumbest things you say, THEN you can start vibing with her and doing the fluff talk. Infact, if she's hooked and you're NOT vibing with her, she'll probably become disinterested. And overall, just work on having more fun with the girls in the sets and work on conveying your personality to her.

I'm still practicing some this stuff myself, but trust me the guy who I learned this all from knows what he's talking about and as I go more and more in field I start realizing that what he's saying works. Most people will tell you words are everything, but come on, I've gone up to a group of girls with "Ruff ruff!" before and gotten interest. Heck, only reason I didn't stay in that set is because I never vibed and thus became the dancing monkey.

 

[Real]

Good to see someone else posting FR's dude. Don't worry too much about opener, it's just something to open the set with and no opener is really lame. What matters a great deal more is what you're actually conveying when you open. Most of this was fluff talk though dude. If you really want to move things on though, cut the fluff and do something to hook her. Use C+F, neg her, tease her or just tell a story, so long as your conveying your personality to her. Once she's hooked and you'll know she's hooked when she's laughing at even the dumbest things you say, THEN you can start vibing with her and doing the fluff talk. Infact, if she's hooked and you're NOT vibing with her, she'll probably become disinterested. And overall, just work on having more fun with the girls in the sets and work on conveying your personality to her.

I'm still practicing some this stuff myself, but trust me the guy who I learned this all from knows what he's talking about and as I go more and more in field I start realizing that what he's saying works. Most people will tell you words are everything, but come on, I've gone up to a group of girls with "Ruff ruff!" before and gotten interest. Heck, only reason I didn't stay in that set is because I never vibed and thus became the dancing monkey.

dont take advice from someone who doesnt know what he's talking about.


Das, that was actually a great approach because you took a genuine interest in her life, keep it up, and next time when you do this, the girl will be single and wont have a dead fiance, and you'll be able to get the #

 

[ElStud]

dont take advice from someone who doesnt know what he's talking about.


Das, that was actually a great approach because you took a genuine interest in her life, keep it up, and next time when you do this, the girl will be single and wont have a dead fiance, and you'll be able to get the #

The guy who's teaching me has gotten laid, probably can't say the same for you. And another thing is I've used his advice infield and it's WORKED, can't say the same for any advice you've given. But let's add a third point, his advice has been tested several times. Great approach? Not really, it was all fluff dude. Had he asked for the number there's a good chance she would've said NO, not because she wasn't interested in him, but because her buying temperature just wasn't high enough. He didn't do anything interesting.

 

[Real]

The guy who's teaching me has gotten laid, probably can't say the same for you. And another thing is I've used his advice infield and it's WORKED, can't say the same for any advice you've given. But let's add a third point, his advice has been tested several times. Great approach? Not really, it was all fluff dude. Had he asked for the number there's a good chance she would've said NO, not because she wasn't interested in him, but because her buying temperature just wasn't high enough. He didn't do anything interesting.

i never needed anyones advice on how to get laid, ive ****ed 82 different girls, what do you mean you "cant say the same about me"?

u 17 year olds are really really stupid

 

[Maxtro]

Nice job Das Keep it up and your bound to get some action

 

[ElStud]

i never needed anyones advice on how to get laid, ive ****ed 82 different girls, what do you mean you "cant say the same about me"?

u 17 year olds are really really stupid

Hey no need to qualify yourself. But man, it's impossible for you to not hijack a thread isn't it? No one CARES Real.

 

[Real]

Hey no need to qualify yourself. But man, it's impossible for you to not hijack a thread isn't it? No one CARES Real.

when u said that i dont know about getting *****, i volunteered to qualify myself

what have YOU done outside of the same 1000 approaches that all result in rejection?

 

[ElStud]

Good job ruining a perfectly good thread ONCE AGAIN with your immaturity.

 

[Dante1a]

Real, that was not a great approach for several reasons. One, no sense of mystery, authority or any "hook" to make her want to know more. Most guys hit on girls like that and most guys don't have half the success record I do.

I am amazed that only one person has really answered this.

Das, I applaud you for starting a conversation with her. You have semi-decent ground work layed out. But you have to be interesting. She is filled with emotions after her finance's recent death. She's not going to just be up for going out with a stranger for kicks yet.

But what you could have done is talk to her about a similar type loss (or something along that line), but don't give her all the info.

Along the lines of:
I used to live with my fiancee, but he died in a car crash about six months ago. I had too many memories of him up there so I moved down here with my parents"

"Sometimes you do need to change your surroundings to work through something, don't you? I've done it several times. And you know what? Each time I do I find another great story and (repeat this exactly) an opportunity for a wonderful new experience. Good for you, you'll find what you're looking for."

Or something like that. Instead of asking her to go with you, you could say "I am going to a kareoke thing tonight at Kavenaugh's with some friends. You should come join us, you look like you could use some fun. And plus, I promise not to go to hard on you with my Kareoke skills."

Give her the address of the place and the time..and let it go.

With something like a recent dead boyfriend or whatever, she have to pull her into your proximity(but in a non-threatening way i.e (with friends)), have her associate you with fun and acceptance, and keep it out of the friend zone.

You do that by being the social center of your friends. Keep everything light and funny. When someone awful is singing, grab her hand, pull her up and start dancing..DON'T SING TO HER!! If anything, sing to some goofy looking guy to make her laugh.

When she tells a joke or is laughing, lightly touch her so that doesn't become "a thing." Also, every now and then, just stare into her eyes as if you were looking for something. Not in a creepy way. Just like your interested. If you play things like this, she may just jump you.. or things will just happen!

If not..then move on. You played it as well as you could.

 

[Real]

the one thing i noted that he did right in the approach is getting her life story - asking questions and showing genuine interest

of course, all other parts of his approach he needs to work on, but in general alot of guys miss the part of the approach that he had going fairly well

 

[amoka]

This was a great approach for the the working environment. You do not want to come on too strong else, it would be considered workplace sexual harassment. She is probably thinking about your offer and may accept your offer next time you 2 meet. I will wait for couple more days and ask if she has been able to experience the night life of the town or something of the sort.

 

[xdreamz]

not too bad, i liked how you were demonstrating how you knew all the bars and clubs around the area. that's kind of a sophisticated type of flirting...

 

[xdreamz]

only thing that i wouldn't have done is ask her to go with you to the karaoke so fast

 

[amoka]

only thing that i wouldn't have done is ask her to go with you to the karaoke so fast

There is nothing wrong with him asking her to go to the Karaoke with him. The problem arouse when he asked to go with him that evening. He could have said something along the line: "there is karaoke at _______, perhaps we check it out sometime." In this case, he still appear professional and does not look like he is pushing her, particularly knowing her fiance recently passed away.

 

[ElStud]

Well so long as they were having a fun interaction and he was conveying his personality, it's all good. But from the looks of it, it really didn't seem like a fun, loose interaction, but fluff talk. For instance, one I had a great conversation with a girl, she laughed at my jokes, but then she avoids the question when I ask for the number. Was it because of disinterest? No, it was because her buying temperature wasn't up enough.

 

[Real]

Well so long as they were having a fun interaction and he was conveying his personality, it's all good. But from the looks of it, it really didn't seem like a fun, loose interaction, but fluff talk. For instance, one I had a great conversation with a girl, she laughed at my jokes, but then she avoids the question when I ask for the number. Was it because of disinterest? No, it was because her buying temperature wasn't up enough.

why are u still not reading my advice on your lunch approach thread?

you sound totally clueless you fool

 

[dannyc]

maybe you reminded her of her dead fiance?