For some of the more experience guys...how did you get over this? I am SO hesitant when I am out it's getting ridiculous. I even get IOIs from girls for me to approach but I don't! I never have that first opener and can't think of what to say.
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Approach Anxiety ugh
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
The guys here say you should shake her hand and introduce yourself
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
2 things, first you need to pump your state. another words get yourself into the mood. put on your fav high energy music while your getting ready to go out. start singing out loud dancing get yourself pumped up. continue in your car on your way to the bar.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2012
- Messages
- 1,695
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I find having an attitude of not caring is helpful. Being prepared to walk away from someone and not caring about the outcome can be quite a powerful thing.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Use the situation around you like a prop. You need a topic, a thing, an action to start off of. Anything that you can use will be to your advantage to open. My friend opened 2 girls in a bar last week when they took a photo. He quickly jumped in and said, "ok, now one of the two of you, I'll take tour picture". They giggled like little schoolgirls and totally started talking to us for over 2 hrs. They ate that shyt up big time. And he was comin from the bathroom, he didn't plan it, he just attacked when the opportunity was there. If they of said "no thank you", that's that, walk away, nothing lost.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
