Approach Anxiety MUST perish! .. here's my plan

[Demonicale]

Ok so now i've realised what an absolute wimp i am, i can't even approach girl's.

I mean i'm the bloke who goes out and stands at the bar looking at women and thinking "damm she's hot" ... and NEVER DO SQUAT!.

Well it stops right here!...

Last night i got side tracked while i was out so i could'nt START approaching.

SOOOOO tonight as punishment i'm forcing myself to spend some more money and go out alone ... all my friends don't wanna go out .. but i think i need to kick my own ass and do SOMETHING.

SOOOO not only will i HAVE TO ACT, i will also be out ALONE ... which to me is pretty much a rare thing as i hate it, but, well if i approached when i said i was going to i would'nt have had to go out tonight right? :crackup:


Anyway this thread is for me to get rid of AA or atleast try to do that, now i know alot of guy's out their feel the same way .. so maybe we can swap idea's and everytihng.

Anyway .... the goal tonight is to get rid of AA and not care about the outcome.
I want to come home and said i've gone out and actually did something rather than be a complete wimp.


Ok the mission is to approach 5 women

I know that's nothing, but it's a start ... maybe i should increase this?..

 

[DjVita]

like wheight training, there are only two principles to this game of life:
CONSISTENCY AND PROGRESSION

this applies to everything. the secret of athletes, geniouses, talented people? practice practice PRACTICE
in wheights, for example if you start with a 40lb bench press excersice, sound wimpy huh? but if the next time you raise ten pounds, and do it progressively, by the end of the july youll be lifiting 160! what if you stayed at home doing nothing? YEAH DUDE YOU BETTER GET YOUR @SS OUT TO GET SOME!

this women and dating thing, its like an RPG game.
you start out at nothing, but if you progress and continue to consistently approach, you will gain experience and level up! and you will go for even HOTTER chicks, your standards will rise (as mine has, im picky, trust me ) and you will try even harder, fist the approach, then converstion, then closing email, then cell#, then came the call, after mastering that, came the first date, then fvck close, then one night stands, party, club aprroaches, girls with borefriends, ATH Bytchis, and finally married MILFs (my progress in 5 years, not interested in LTRS until 30)... in no time, you will be a total MACKin PIMP!

 

[Demonicale]

like wheight training, there are only two principles to this game of life:
CONSISTENCY AND PROGRESSION

this applies to everything. the secret of athletes, geniouses, talented people? practice practice PRACTICE
in wheights, for example if you start with a 40lb bench press excersice, sound wimpy huh? but if the next time you raise ten pounds, and do it progressively, by the end of the july youll be lifiting 160! what if you stayed at home doing nothing? YEAH DUDE YOU BETTER GET YOUR @SS OUT TO GET SOME!

this women and dating thing, its like an RPG game.
you start out at nothing, but if you progress and continue to consistently approach, you will gain experience and level up! and you will go for even HOTTER chicks, your standards will rise (as mine has, im picky, trust me ) and you will try even harder, fist the approach, then converstion, then closing email, then cell#, then came the call, after mastering that, came the first date, then fvck close, then one night stands, party, club aprroaches, girls with borefriends, ATH Bytchis, and finally married MILFs (my progress in 5 years, not interested in LTRS until 30)... in no time, you will be a total MACKin PIMP!

Thanks!, you know that could even help me when i'm a bag of nerves on my own out tonight.Maybe i should be looking at it like a game and not be soo serious.

The only thing i'm alittle concerned about is that going out alone i won't have my friends to talk to.I don't want to be like the rest of the guy's stood at the bar staring at the dancefloor.

 

[Tinsil]

Good. Maybe then it will force yourself to actually go talk to women/ new people instead of just sitting there looking like a loser.

You won't have your friends as a comfort cushion. So go and have fun. Club should be an easy place to lose approach anxiety.

 

[Demonicale]

Good. Maybe then it will force yourself to actually go talk to women/ new people instead of just sitting there looking like a loser.

You won't have your friends as a comfort cushion. So go and have fun. Club should be an easy place to lose approach anxiety.

That's what i'm thinking, you know i passed my driving test 2 month's ago and i'm now looking for a new challenge.

Something that will benifit me and IS'NT EASY to do .. i mean i want it to be hard ... i want to do this.

Well i'm setting my target on 5 approaches but i think if i can do 5 ok then i should'nt have a problem getting more ... well that's what i'm thinking.

 

[masterpiece]

keep it at 5 then go from there. Get your confidence up before ya go out then start them approaches.
I take it you have read all the posts in the bible about how to approach and build rapport?

 

[Demonicale]

keep it at 5 then go from there. Get your confidence up before ya go out then start them approaches.
I take it you have read all the posts in the bible about how to approach and build rapport?

I have, but the thing is ... i've read sooooo many way's to approach women that i've now kinda screwed myself ...I think i'm confused as to what way is best to approach.


I'm stuck on an opener really... i can see it going tits up but i'll do it still whatever.

 

[apotheosis]

I'm stuck on an opener really... i can see it going tits up but i'll do it still whatever.

Im sort of the same.
I hate it when people say 'just say hi'.
You'll say 'hi', they'll say 'hi' back, and then you're back to square one!
Im in a constant search to find some good openers.

I dont like any of those ive ever read really.
I hate the 'opinion' style openers, where you go off on a monologue, trying to get them into a discussion in which you have no interest. Its so false.

I see you're in the UK. I think there maybe needs to be a whole new topic dedicated to methods depending on where your from. Some of the stuff i read just sounds so cheesy, although i can see how it could work in the US where people are generally more friendly and approachable.

I have a few friends who've tirelessly tried mystery/PUA style openers etc, and it rarely ends well. Not to say they've had no success, but they all made so many approaches that they would have got a similar success rate with say 'hello, my name's X, i like football beer and bacon fat..what do you like??"
The girls just seemed kinf of confused....Like, 'why is this stranger sitting next to me talking rubbish!!!???'

Maybe im looking for a holy grail which doesn't exist.

I have a few friends who are absolutely brilliant at picking up girls.
I think that you'd maybe refer to them as 'naturals'?
They've certainly never studied the art, thats for sure!
One in particular is very funny. Talkative. Good sense of humour. Seems like he's high sometimes! Very energetic and lively, but the girls love him

I'd love to know what they say, but i often seem to miss the moment of their initial contact with a girl.
I might make it a point to stick to them like glue just so i can hear what they say to open! (might cramp their style though!...me...just looming over them as they're trying to game a girl)

I think the best and most genuine openers seem to rely on situation.
Last night I was out and I overheard a pretty girl next to me say something about how she didn't want to walk all the way to the club down the road because her shoes were hurting her.
I said "I'll give you a piggy back if you like!?" and her and her friend giggled, and then we spoke for a while, with her kind of initiating further conversation.

Another time I saw a girl in my local pub who was wearing some funky boots, and i looked at her and asked her whether her horse was parked outside. She smiled and we spoke for a while.

So, I only seem to do OK when there is an obvious situation that merrits conversation, although if i only waited for girls to be out in 'fancy dress' id only make about 3 approaches per year!

Im not a total missfit, and can talk to girls OK. I done some nice work last night. The initial bit was really easy because someone introduced me to a girl, and as she was saying hello, her friend jumped in and announced that she (the one i was being introduced to) was going to Vegas the next day, and so we spoke about that and just moved the conversation on. She was being quite flirty after a while, although my friend told me she has a boyfriend.

I think a good general opener is important (specific to the UK maybe), although im still looking...

 

[kingsam]

people may be more polite in the ua than in the UK, but if you give out a vibe that says high value, cool, etc....then pople will be drawn to you and you will be able to talk no prob's...

D
how old are you?
where do you go?
are you freinds any good or total AFC?

A
are u British too?

 

[masterpiece]

Read how to be a good convasationalist which is in the bible. Tells ya all the raport ya need.

 

[Demonicale]

people may be more polite in the ua than in the UK, but if you give out a vibe that says high value, cool, etc....then pople will be drawn to you and you will be able to talk no prob's...

D
how old are you?
where do you go?
are you freinds any good or total AFC?

A
are u British too?

Hey Kingsam, yeah i'm 26 and 99% of the time i goto bars and clubs, i've NEVER done day game, but it's something that has peaked my intrest

Also yeah, my friends are COMPLETE afc's and will NEVER even get close to being able to attract women.


Ok so i went out last night and was FINALLY able to approach

I approached 4 women and got 2 numbers.

Also i've got a hit on Plentyofish.co.uk
I know i know, i registered awhile back to "broaden" my horizon and have had a girl message back saying she be up for sex .. so we will see where that goes.

But i've never felt soooo damm good after doing it, i mean my heart was pounding like crazy and i felt like i was gonna collapse lol..

 

[kingsam]

Hey Kingsam, yeah i'm 26 and 99% of the time i goto bars and clubs, i've NEVER done day game, but it's something that has peaked my intrest

where abouts do you live (town), i think that some of the uk a lot of the clubs are the clubs are terrible meat markets, full of stuck up ugly biatches...

Also yeah, my friends are COMPLETE afc's and will NEVER even get close to being able to attract women.

i went to cyprus (aiya napa- a party resort the kind of easiest place to pull in the world !) last year with 3 guys, and the other 3 guys hardly talked to a girl... it was fVcking pathetic..whilst im "ok" i wanted a wingman greatly

 

[apotheosis]

A
are u British too?

I am.

 

[masterpiece]

Also yeah, my friends are COMPLETE afc's and will NEVER even get close to being able to attract women.


Ok so i went out last night and was FINALLY able to approach

I approached 4 women and got 2 numbers.

Yeah i hang out with afc's to it can be hard work as they just act nice and let women walk all over them its quite embarasing sometimes.

Thats damm good going, keep it up.
did you go out on your own in the end?

where abouts do you live (town), i think that some of the uk a lot of the clubs are the clubs are terrible meat markets, full of stuck up ugly biatches

...

100% agree with this, where i go out all the nice girls dissapear by like 12 so the clubs are just full of stuck up/ Ugly bit*hes and men.

 

[Demonicale]

Yeah i hang out with afc's to it can be hard work as they just act nice and let women walk all over them its quite embarasing sometimes.

Thats damm good going, keep it up.
did you go out on your own in the end?

...

100% agree with this, where i go out all the nice girls dissapear by like 12 so the clubs are just full of stuck up/ Ugly bit*hes and men.

I live in Plymouth,England

Yeah i went out on my own but my friend and his girlfriend met me ... which to be fair was good as i was alil shy being out on my own .. later in the night i was on my own and i was fine with it.

But now i realise that the reason why i've got no girlfriend is'nt the girl's... IT'S ME, from last night i wrote my own rules and don't bother with this "wait 2-4 day's till you contact them"

I've been speaking to the 2 girls from last night all day and have a date with both of them.
The one i'm intrested in asked me if it was a dare that i went and talked to her as i was sooo confident and that i went up to her moments after she entered the club... :rock:

 

[masterpiece]

I live in Plymouth,England

Yeah i went out on my own but my friend and his girlfriend met me ... which to be fair was good as i was alil shy being out on my own .. later in the night i was on my own and i was fine with it.

But now i realise that the reason why i've got no girlfriend is'nt the girl's... IT'S ME, from last night i wrote my own rules and don't bother with this "wait 2-4 day's till you contact them"

I've been speaking to the 2 girls from last night all day and have a date with both of them.
The one i'm intrested in asked me if it was a dare that i went and talked to her as i was sooo confident and that i went up to her moments after she entered the club... :rock:

How did you find being out on your own? , when i was single i never went out on my own but was always intrested in doing it.

Your correct it is you, it sounds like you tend to overthink things to much a bit like myself i always used to think what if she says no ect.

But 2 numbers in one night is good going, your right go by your rules and stay in charge of the situation.

Personally i would have waited a day or so to text just to build tension and not seem to keen.
But considering you have a date with both of em its not a problem.

 

[Lexington]

I suggest doing some LOL approaches: approach with the intention of getting blown out in a hilarious way. These did wonders for me. You do it in order to get desensitized to getting rejected. The funny thing is, you actually end up having some success with this approach. It makes you realize that half the battle is simply not giving a fvck.

 

[Demonicale]

How did you find being out on your own? , when i was single i never went out on my own but was always intrested in doing it.

Your correct it is you, it sounds like you tend to overthink things to much a bit like myself i always used to think what if she says no ect.

But 2 numbers in one night is good going, your right go by your rules and stay in charge of the situation.

Personally i would have waited a day or so to text just to build tension and not seem to keen.
But considering you have a date with both of em its not a problem.

Usually even when i'm with people i end up on my own half way through the night, but to actually go out on my own ... well, up untill my mate and his girlfriend showed up i was a bag of nerves, but they left later in the night and i was fine.

Yeah maybe i should've waited, but as she was looking for her sister i used that to send a quick text.
The 2nd approach that i thought was kinda crap has held better results as she seems much more intrested lol

And yeah i suppose i could try to get blown off.... but i'll wait cause atm everything is going well