Appologizing makes you a wuss

[djSlvt]

Just a quick note. On TV, first we had Cramer, then that radio guy, and then that Lacrose prosecutor, all applogized, and all were ridden and send the other way, fired or otherwise spit on.


Appologizing is a submissive behaviour. Here you are, an alleged booly, and you going to appologize? That takes that mental image people have about you, and lowers you so much bellow the shortest midget in the US, and people think you are some trash.

Appologizing is also a lower form of admitting your guilt. When that radio guy said those things about some black women, he wasnt insulting them. Yet, after he appologized he addmited that he insulted them. In fact, there is nothing wrong with what he said, it is the way people undertood him, it is their insecurities that played the role here. If he did not appologize, and stuck to he's innocense, he'd be fine.


It is same as in law system, appologizing is like addmitting to a crime. If you confess to a murder, well, you'd be going to prison. If, however, you do not confess, there might be a trial. We know what happened to OJ.




Im telling you, forget appologizing. I never appologize, unless I fvcked up really badly and it was my fault. Appologizing is like kissing a55.




So, here is my point:

A) Try not to fvck up unless you think you can get away with that​

B) If you do fvck up, dont take a blame for it and dont appologize for as long as you can, prefferably never.​

P.S. This thread touches onto people who seriously fvck up. Those who say "Im sorry" on a daily bases during a conversation, are submissive little wusses, those folks seen a pvssy last time during their birth. They are professional a55 kissers, fvcking WBAFCs. They are hopping for approval when they kiss your a55, there is a lot you can do with that.

 

[spider_007]

It's alright to appologize, as long as you are truley sorry, and would not do the same thing again.

The mistake that radio guy made was letting people (who have thair own sceletons in thair closet) walk all over him. You never do that. Yes, appologize if your sorry, but still keep your dignity, and don't let people who made the same mistake as you leacture you on how you fvckeup...and call for your fireing.

That Reveren All Sharpton...why isn't he going after rapers....arn't they all puting down all races....and sexes......

But he goes after a guy that raises money avery year to help children with cancer.

He is a revren....WHERE IS THE FORGIVENESS????

i'm not getting into this (as anoyed as I am too)

 

[djSlvt]

It's alright to appologize, as long as you are truley sorry, and would not do the same thing again.

Just to make my point even more clearer. Everybody agress with what spider_007 said? I do, I bet you do too. It's a very precise and agreeable statement.


What does it say though? Lets see here:

If you are turley sorry: this means that if you are guilty and realize your wrong doing.
Would not do the same thing again: this means that you realize you fvcked up so badly and you are soooooo ashame of it that you would not ever do that again​

In fact, appologizing is extermely submissive, and you are saying so many things when you say "I am sorry." The effect of saying all those things in a paragraph or two will be less damaging, IMO, than saying those 3 words.






Further more. One would assume that saying sorry will reconcile him with other person, i.e. put the injustice of offender being higher than the victim, and then lower the offender on the same level as the victim. (Read into that). That is assuming that the victim is a man of dignity as well. Thus it is a good idea to judge is the victim deserves your appology, because if he is not, then he will take advantage of your appology and victimize you to have his own ego strocked and self steem raised. Not every one deserves an appology.

 

[Bonez]

"Look, I'm sorry but you have to get out right now, No you can't finish your drink and you can **** in your pants for all I care. Now get up, you can't be in here."

 

[djSlvt]

"Look, I'm sorry but you have to get out right now, No you can't finish your drink and you can **** in your pants for all I care. Now get up, you can't be in here."

This removes your own guilt before you say all those nasty things to a women/man. In effect you are excusing yourself from being insubordinate.

There are much more powerful ways to conduct yourself, without being insubordinate. Insubordination leads to other person's resistance to what you say, you saying sorry with that also means it is you who are at fault.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

public apologies (IE Kramer) are weak. In my opinion, they are pretty much forced into it to save face; they dont mean the apologies... its only to make viewers feel better.

 

[Vypros]

The essence of a true man (or woman for that matter) is to KNOW when he is right, and KNOW when he is wrong.

He NEVER apologizes when he is right.

He ALWAYS apologizes when he is wrong.

And the only way to tell the difference, is WISDOM. And sadly, very few people have that wisdom, so you get people who think they are right all the time and are considered *******s (like the threadstarter for instance) or people who think they are wrong all the time and are considered chumps.

 

[djSlvt]

You miss my point. I am not talking about right and wrong. Your mother teaches you right from wrong. I am not your mother.

My point is that appologizing carries a deeper meaning with it, in short appologizing is like saying "I realize my guilt, I was wrong, I should not have done that." Appologizing is a series of submissive statements.


Being submissive carries consequences with it. I gave well known examples of that.

 

[Vypros]

Being submissive carries consequences with it. I gave well known examples of that.

You talk like those consequences are negative.

I love our society today where everybody wants to be "original' and their "own person" and they think that the way to do so is to walk all over people with no apologies. lol

The inability to submit yourself to another person is all in your head. You submit to people everyday of your life! EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

Read that again. You are constantly submitting to people. Don't believe me? Well, do you stop at red lights? When someone jerks their car out in front of you do you hit the brakes? When you are in the store, do you wait in line, or push yourself to the front of the line?

EXACTLY. Don't sit there acting all high and mighty thinking because you don't apologize you are somehow unique or your own person. You are not. In fact, you are just IMMATURE. You submit to people you DON'T like or DON'T know on a daily basis, heaven forbid you come down of your high horse for a few moments and submit to someone you DO like or your DO know and actually ADMIT you are capable of wrongdoing, right?

Get it? You're a puppet, no more, no less. I'm a puppet. Everybody HERE is a puppet. Don't sit there and act like you are not one, because telling yourself that you are not a puppet doesn't make it any less true or false.

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with submitting to someone else once in a while. The idea is that you don't do it incessently to PLEASE people. That you do it because you think it's the RIGHT thing to do.

 

[Fred Da Head]

I pretty much agree with most of what Vypros said, so reiterating it all would be a waste of time.

djSlvt, learn to write and learn to not be a babbling immature ****, and then come back and tell us how we're supposed to act.

 

[MuayThai]

You talk like those consequences are negative.

I love our society today where everybody wants to be "original' and their "own person" and they think that the way to do so is to walk all over people with no apologies. lol

The inability to submit yourself to another person is all in your head. You submit to people everyday of your life! EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE!/QUOTE]

Vypros you're missing the point.

OP wasn't on about being "original" or some immature teenager who doesn't want to "submit" to anything because he thinks that is what a man is.

Ha is saying that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't do ****, doesn't mean ****, and leaves the other party with all the power and an open ended situation to implement whatever restitutions they want.

In my opinion you should only state your guilt (In any form of apology) to someone who is deserving and willing to be reasonable. Otherwise they don't deserve it.
99% of the time I don't apologize because the other party isn't willing to to be reasonable and talk, especially with women who usually see it as a power situation.

 

[Throttle]

djSlvt, learn to write and learn to not be a babbling immature ****, and then come back and tell us how we're supposed to act.

amen on the first part, don't bother with the second. ever. leave advice-giving to anyone else Slvt.

going back to your original post, the people who make 'i'm sorry' a part of most of their conversations only prove that they aren't really sorry for any of it, just like like people who say 'i love you' every chance they get, or as a reflex, or -- and here's the real kicker -- instead of 'i'm sorry'.

 

[Vypros]

In my opinion you should only state your guilt (In any form of apology) to someone who is deserving and willing to be reasonable. Otherwise they don't deserve it.
99% of the time I don't apologize because the other party isn't willing to to be reasonable and talk, especially with women who usually see it as a power situation.

Then you really aren't sorry for what you did.

It's that simple.

You guys are making it out to be some kind of power trip and it isn't. It takes a big person to admit they were wrong when the person they are admitting wrong to takes it and uses it against them to make them feel small.

It takes BIG man to do that, because you ONLY want to apologize for TWO REASONS, and they must BOTH be there:

1.Because you feel you are WRONG.

2. You feel that it's the right thing to do.

How the other person TAKES the apology is inconsequential, because you are doing YOUR part and extending YOUR hand. If they slap it away, so what? You DID THE RIGHT THING.

 

[MrS]

John Wayne said something like that.

 

[Wyldfire]

If you do something wrong that warrants an apology then you definitely need to apologize. You can apologize without supplicating. You simply say "I apologize for what I said/did...I was wrong and I am sorry." That isn't being weak or supplicating. It's begging for forgiveness that makes a person look weak. When you apologize you are not asking for or even expecting forgiveness...you can't control whether or not you are forgiven. All you can do is apologize and then leave the person alone and let them decide whether or not to forgive. So...apologizing is not being a wuss...but chasing after forgiveness, begging for forgiveness, waiting to be forgiven, etc...that is what makes some people who apologize come across as weak.

 

[reset]

You shouldn't be in positions where you think you have to apologize. As an adult you have a code you live by, and hopefully it's a civil one. When you violate your own code, I would hope you would do what's right to get it back in check. And not worry if people would think you were weak because you have standards for your own behavior.

I think when someone ****s up and has the guts to hold themselves accountable, it shows class.

This is much different than the people who have the "please excuse me for living" mentality and say sorry every five seconds. Not even close to the same thing.

 

[djSlvt]

Yes! Yes! Something like that. Some of you understood me, others misunderstood me, no middle ground there. Our exeriences shape our understanding, and not every body is as high or as low as I am so I dont expect you all agreeing with me. As long as you realize that saying Im sorry means crap in this world, in fact, it means the opposite of what you think it means.


I like that traffic light example, and comparing that to submitting. I have a better one, when you dial a help line and robot answers, press 1 for that, press 2 for that, and you say like "NOOOOOOOOOOO" and hung up!!

See how stupid it sounds. That means we dont have understanding on my level, be it higher or lower of the person who gave that example.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Wow djSlvt... who's been keeping this a secret?!

i think i understand now... pretty much apologize if you're wrong and you are actually sorry? and don't apologize if you're right or not sorry?

wow... can you give us tips on how to make great advice/threads like this?

yeah... pretty much find something simple... turn it complex and make it seem like you went into deep thought to come up with it, right?

 

[Throttle]

pretty much find something simple... turn it complex and make it seem like you went into deep thought to come up with it, right?

it's even simpler than that -- his english is so bad it comes out sounding complex even when it's just nonsensical. like, say, his last post.

 

[MuayThai]

Then you really aren't sorry for what you did.

It's that simple.

You guys are making it out to be some kind of power trip and it isn't. It takes a big person to admit they were wrong when the person they are admitting wrong to takes it and uses it against them to make them feel small.

It takes BIG man to do that, because you ONLY want to apologize for TWO REASONS, and they must BOTH be there:

1.Because you feel you are WRONG.

2. You feel that it's the right thing to do.

How the other person TAKES the apology is inconsequential, because you are doing YOUR part and extending YOUR hand. If they slap it away, so what? You DID THE RIGHT THING.

Saying "sorry" doesn't mean jack, and it probably isn't going to make anyone feel any better. It'll more likely leave the other party with a slight feelings of indignation.
You should be making it up to them and cooling any negative feelings, not spewing your guilty feelings everywhere because you feel like it. That is my point.

Saying sorry doesn't make you a man lol, wtf are reading cosmo?