Apartment Keys

[Kailex]

Has anyone ever given a long-term plate the keys to their apartment?

I was talking to a buddy of mine who said he was considering doing it. Now, I've never done it myself, and I have no idea why... but I found the thought of it to be very weird.

I've only ever moved in once with an ex-LTR, but other than that, it had never hit me that I should give apartment keys to anyone.

Maybe it's just me, but giving out your apartment keys is kind of like "moving in" without the "moving in". Wouldn't this just destroy all shred of privacy by just handing over apartment keys and giving her full and total access?

I pretty much said that to him and I think I might have made the situation WORSE. Now he's thinking that he should ask her to move in instead.

And what seemed to prompt this was the fact that SHE has been pressing for the keys to his apartment for a few MONTHS now. I keep telling him not to budge, and now he's thinking about her moving in.

Not much else I can do...

But I figured I'd ask my more mature fellas in here:

Have you ever handed the keys over?
Willingly? Unwillingly?
Mistake?
Ever had it happen without them actually moving in?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Give her a key, and you will find yourself singing that "It wasn't me" song from ten years ago.

 

[cedd]

If youre spinning plates whom know where youre living AND can come over anytime, DO NOT ever give one of them a key.
You could regret it if you would have to next her.

HER asking (pressing) you for a key is just an excuse for her to get more power over you.

give her the key of your flat if only you are exclusive with and .

Stop putting yourselves in bad situations...

cheers

 

[DJDamage]

Don't give a woman the keys to your place if you aren't planning to move in with her.

Essentially she will just show up on her own terms whenever she wants, treat your place like a hotel room and won't feel the need to have sex with you as a prerequisite to spending the night.

Spending time at your place should be an invite luxury only.

 

[amoka]

Never done it. Don't plane on it anytime soon.

 

[sharkbeat]

No. Hell, I wouldn't give keys to my parents!

 

[The Duke]

Never done it but I have had a few serious girls give me theirs. Instead of offering my key I just told them where the spare was. Never had any problems.

 

[L B]

If you do, make sure you have a 1000 lb safe in the house to lock up your valuables. With that weight, she won't be able to take your stuff when she throws you out of your own apartment. Only a matter of time...

 

[squirrels]

Has anyone ever given a long-term plate the keys to their apartment?

Cue IRoT #4.

I think it's #4, anyway.

If she has the key, she may as well be "moved in", because it means she can pretty much come over at any time and get up in your business.

 

[Da Realist]

Should not do it. If a woman is stressing you and you give in just because she's mad, she'll run over you from now on. Better to be alone and free than confined with a miserable woman.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Kailex,
It is not such a bad Idea as you get older for "Someone"to have keys......An acquaintance of mine had a Stroke,lay on the floor of his Locked Flat for four days......Police eventually broke the Door down took him to Hospital where he died (Unnecessarily) a week later......For someone who spins plates,as many DJ's do or aspire to do the giving of keys to ones primary source of affection,can limit ones options and cause insecurity.....remember Women are remarkably acute at sensing changes in your emotional equilibrium and can leave Sherlock Holmes for dead interrogating you....When you sleep with another Woman she will sense something is different,so much so that in this eventuality one should have reason for your changed mood,the health of Family,friends or Pets is my stand by,never deny you are anxious but give her an acceptable reason and she MAY be happy,failing that expect her to turn up at any Time.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Look -- I only write on this because I have direct experience. My first LTR that ended not-good, ended up talking me into giving her a key. I was very naieve at the time and had never before thought as I do now. I gave her my key. I was not playing her, but she was staying very often, had her stuff there.

I look back on that as a major mistake. She gained ground in that move. She essentially turned my room into a "storage locker" for all of her beading materials, all of her various tangible hobby items, extra clothing, beauty stuff. Trust me -- unless you are so serious about her and considering moving in -- do not do this. Once she gains positive ground, there will be no going back. Now if you want to gain positive ground too, then give her the key, but if you are trying to keep the pace slower, do not, I repeat do not do so.

It was ironic, as I'd have a corner of the room filled with her stuff, and if I so much as left a t-shirt in her room, she would deliver it to me the next day folded saying I ought to "get my stuff"...trust me man, tell your friend to keep his domain to himself, she'll probably go after his ball.s longer anyways for him holding some ground and keeping a bit of distance.

If *not having the key* ends his relationship with her, then you can see how shallow it was to begin with and how little value she really held. Just my 2cents.