Anyone try speed dating versus online dating in their local city how did it go?

[SW15]

Why not just walk into a bar and approach girls? If there are no hot girls, then you walk out and onto the next bar. Sounds more efficient than speed dating to me.

Speed dating is where the desperate meet the losers.

I agree. However, many of the men who turn to speed dating are turning to speed dating because they aren't getting results on the swipe apps or in the bars. That's why there are a lot of problems with speed dating.

Women have liked the concept of going to speed dating events. It has greater efficiencies for them in terms of sorting quantity of candidates as compared to a regular night out at a bar, where the number of approaches they field would vary. They'd probably get more "approaches" in a speed dating event than compared to random non-bar approaches, especially if they are 30+, which a lot of female speed dating attendees are. However, a lot of the advantages of speed dating for women have been made redundant by swipe apps, so there's really no point in attending now for women. Speed dating did reasonably well in the website era of online dating (late 1990s-early 2010s) because website dating was stigmatized for the earlier portion of that period and because website dating required more mental labor than swipe app dating. Swipe app dating has been more socially acceptable than website dating ever was, even in 2010 when website dating had been de-stigmatized. A large percentage of women have done swipe apps as compared to website dating.

In a speed dating event, women are seeking top tier men, just as if they were sitting at home swiping. The expectations are increased as compared to is they were reliant upon their social circle for prospects or even evaluating their in-person approaches outside of a structured event setting. The problem with that mindset and search effort is that top tier men have no need to attend a speed dating event. They have enough prospects from swipe apps, bar approaching, or non-bar approaching if they are a part of the small percentage of men who bother to non-bar approach. The men who turn out at speed dating events are men outside of the Top 20%, who are generally undesirable.

These lower tier men are going into events massively thirsty because their penises probably have not gotten wet in a while. While some of these men might be in the 6-7.5 range on looks, they might be lacking social skills or money in those cases. Then there are men lacking looks, money, and social skills. Neither the good looking guys lacking social skills (and possibly money) or the average to below average looking guys lacking social skills and/or money are desirable to women.

For the men, they are dealing with a weak talent pool of women who believe that they are entitled to top tier men. It's not enjoyable for even a semi-attactive man like a 6.5 or 7 to deal with a 30+ year old, 5-5.5 looking woman who believes she's entitled to a top tier man.

The man will mark down mostly every mediocre option from speed dating as a "yes" in the hopes of being able to get his penis wet. Men will only reject a woman who shows massive attitude problems, is ridiculously fat, or a single mom while he's childless. Women will mark down every man who doesn't give her "all the feelz" in 5 minutes as a "no". Both sides walk away from the event with no matches and frustration. Only the organization promoting the event gets a short term revenue boost but suffers medium to long term brand damage from lousy customer experiences, leading to bad word of mouth marketing, both informally and on Google/Yelp reviews. This eventually leading to the speed dating company going out of business. The bar hosting the event sells a few extra incremental drinks.

 

[corrector]

I agree. However, many of the men who turn to speed dating are turning to speed dating because they aren't getting results on the swipe apps or in the bars. That's why there are a lot of problems with speed dating.

Women have liked the concept of going to speed dating events. It has greater efficiencies for them in terms of sorting quantity of candidates as compared to a regular night out at a bar, where the number of approaches they field would vary. They'd probably get more "approaches" in a speed dating event than compared to random non-bar approaches, especially if they are 30+, which a lot of female speed dating attendees are. However, a lot of the advantages of speed dating for women have been made redundant by swipe apps, so there's really no point in attending now for women. Speed dating did reasonably well in the website era of online dating (late 1990s-early 2010s) because website dating was stigmatized for the earlier portion of that period and because website dating required more mental labor than swipe app dating. Swipe app dating has been more socially acceptable than website dating ever was, even in 2010 when website dating had been de-stigmatized. A large percentage of women have done swipe apps as compared to website dating.

In a speed dating event, women are seeking top tier men, just as if they were sitting at home swiping. The expectations are increased as compared to is they were reliant upon their social circle for prospects or even evaluating their in-person approaches outside of a structured event setting. The problem with that mindset and search effort is that top tier men have no need to attend a speed dating event. They have enough prospects from swipe apps, bar approaching, or non-bar approaching if they are a part of the small percentage of men who bother to non-bar approach. The men who turn out at speed dating events are men outside of the Top 20%, who are generally undesirable.

These lower tier men are going into events massively thirsty because their penises probably have not gotten wet in a while. While some of these men might be in the 6-7.5 range on looks, they might be lacking social skills or money in those cases. Then there are men lacking looks, money, and social skills. Neither the good looking guys lacking social skills (and possibly money) or the average to below average looking guys lacking social skills and/or money are desirable to women.

For the men, they are dealing with a weak talent pool of women who believe that they are entitled to top tier men. It's not enjoyable for even a semi-attactive man like a 6.5 or 7 to deal with a 30+ year old, 5-5.5 looking woman who believes she's entitled to a top tier man.

The man will mark down mostly every mediocre option from speed dating as a "yes" in the hopes of being able to get his penis wet. Men will only reject a woman who shows massive attitude problems, is ridiculously fat, or a single mom while he's childless. Women will mark down every man who doesn't give her "all the feelz" in 5 minutes as a "no". Both sides walk away from the event with no matches and frustration. Only the organization promoting the event gets a short term revenue boost but suffers medium to long term brand damage from lousy customer experiences, leading to bad word of mouth marketing, both informally and on Google/Yelp reviews. This eventually leading to the speed dating company going out of business. The bar hosting the event sells a few extra incremental drinks.

Yeah, I did get a date out of speed-dating. It turns out she selected the wrong yes and mistaked me for someone else who she thought was way more attractive right in the coffee date and she was like a 5 20+ year old woman. Probably that helped turn me off of those types of events.

There were a couple of companies that offered it here in Toronto, Canada. At least one of them stopped offering it, did a quick google search and it looks like maily mid-ages are being set up. Not seeing people in 20s for those events. Looks like I'm aging out of some categories as they have specific age categories.