anyone relate?

[lookalike]

Hi guys. first post.
met a girl year ago. we started talking and hanging out some. Lots of chemistry. She had high interest in me in beginning and things were great. sending me lots of texts, pictures, snapchats etc. She would call almost everyday and i would always pick up (too eager and available). i told her how much i liked talking to her and maybe that scared her. either way, things were going great. However, since jan, shes in school and has a lot of attention from guys. the calls dropped off, texts stopped, and i can see shes snapchatting lots of guys. and whats happened is the power has shifted. Now im the one thinking about her all the time and wanting to call, text, etc.

I try to hold it off to only one call a week but even if i call, she doesnt pick up. calls me back few days later very distant and cold. never asks whats new with me. just one word answers as i try to make conversation. that sad part is that I still want to talk to her. Its like a need a fix of her even though shes blatantly disrespecting me by showing no interest (somtimes she'll jus say things like , "ya ummm ,anywayyyyyy..." if i say somthing she thinks is boring) She used to hang on my everyword. Anyway, iv obviously put her on a pedastal. she can do no wrong and i think of her as far above me and cant get her out of my mind. it kills me that she doesnt care about me anymore. I have no respect for myself anymore and i feel like the biggest loser all because she doesnt care. One of the new guys she likes is like 5 feet tall, ugly and scrawny so Im like, she dropped me for him?? I know I should just cut her off but i feel like even the little bit i get from her is better than nothing. I read all the posts here about how i should think of myself as a great prize for women and have confidence but ive lost all confidence. I feel ugly and uninteresting. I have no interest in anyother women, dont want to go anywhere etc. I dont care about my career anymore. This girl has just sucked the life out of me because i cant accept that she doesnt care about me now. I just want to get her to care again. Not sure if theres any advice anyone can say other than cut her off and move on, i just needed to write this out and if anyone has similar story i really would love to hear about how you got though it. thank you guys

 

[mv.89]

My man, I would say I'm sorry to hear the condition you are in but first rule of the game is to accept your fault. She was nothing and you made her what she is today! We all have been through this , who so ever says they haven't well they are lying or just never had any relations with females.

Think of it, we all like sugar but too much of it causes diabetes. If we go out to dinner and have dessert in appetizers, sweet salad, sweet soup and sweets in entree while we may enjoy it but in the end if we get something spicy we will relish it so much more than dessert itself.
So distance and closeness, availability and unavailability must be balanced.

I am by no means equipped to answer how to recover this chick back but just wanted you to have an overview so in future bishes be falling for you!

 

[TheWolfMan]

We've all been in this situation at some point, next her cut off contact and move on. You are just going to dig yourself deeper by consistently trying to contact you, and she is being polite by actually calling you back. Focus on things you enjoy doing, workout, whatever it is just do you and better yourself. Also, start talking to other girls if you don't feel like trying to game just talk to them man you will slowly start getting over this b!tch and realize there are millions of other girls out there. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Dusoa]

Been there myself, more than once actually. All part of the growing process. Believe me, I feel your pain. When you put someone one a pedestal, it's SO hard to change your mental image of them, even when the intelligent part of you knows damn well that she isn't worth it.

I was in a relationship that ended late last year, and I was a pathetic mess. I was thinking about her every second of every day, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, talked my friends ears off, but I think about it now and I laugh at myself for getting so caught up over someone who totally wasn't worth that waste of emotions.

The best way to heal yourself, in my opinion, is to get wrapped up in your own world. Find your passions and fully devote yourself to them. Work out, journal, read more, invest in yourself-build up your wardrobe, whatever. The point is to take the emphasis off of her and start looking out for #1.

Under no circumstances though would I continue to waste time trying to salvage things with her. You'll be mad at yourself down the road for putting forth meaningless effort.

 

[aschillascanbe]

been through a similar situation and the worst thing about it is her going for somebody who you clearly beat. If the other guy is better, I would have been like "alright he wins" and move on, but he is not so I felt like "what the **** I lost to him?"

 

[VladPatton]

Ok, man, first and foremost delete her number from your cell phone. Second, look at who you are dealing with. This is NOT a quality girl you are after. She lost interest in you to pursue some 5 foot scrawny chump. That is laughable. Basically, anything new and shiney will have her attention. She has the mind of a child. This is not the character of a woman who can be a wife or a mother, end of story.

Make the decision that you will no longer care and pursue her. Until then, you are hopeless. You need to make that absolute decision, and from that point on you can stop this ridiculous chase that you will kick yourself for in a short period of time. Until you do so, you will writhe in pain. Do it soon.

Good luck, man.

Make that decision!

 

[lookalike]

thank you guys for input. it really helps put things in proper perspective when i hear how you guys have similar stories. I feel like I'll never be the same after this because she dropped me so quickly and it makes me really feel pathetic and very self-consious. i need to delete her from my phone for sure. the last convos were so bad she was talking down to me really bad and i could feel her getting a kick out of it. anyway, im going to try and do my best to push on. thank you guys for the help. if anyone has stories please keep em coming. thanks

 

[alotofpots]

You could always check out the "How to get your ex back in blah blah days" book by John Alexander. I think everyone has had your problem bro, but there is a way to rectify it. Follow that book word for word and you should be able to get her attention again as well as making yourself more confident in the process, AS WELL as learning from your mistakes. I used the information in that book to recover from a similar situation and actually got an ex back despite my beta clingy behavior at the time.

Just remember not to make the same mistakes twice. Value yourself and always know when to walk away if you aren't being treated well.

 

[ralphpetersen]

Been there. Even if you manage to get her interest up again, you were carry alot of resentment because of the way she is treating you now. You have to get it into your head (its difficult) that chasing her is pushing her further away. It WILL NOT increase her interest level. It has the opposite effect. So you have to have to have to go NC right away. I have done it to my oneitis and i thought i would die. Delete her number and contacts everywhere because there will be times when u feel weak and want to have just one more conversation in the hope she has suddenly realised what an awesome guy you are. Dont do it. They normally reach out after a two month period with some bull**** excuse like want to check on something, give you something, etc etc...all bull**** just to check if they still have you by the balls..go NC and dont respond to any text from her...it will probably be the most difficult thing you ever do..but when you are free from the obsessive thoughts...and when you really just dont care anymore...that feeling of pride in your own strength is priceless...so go no contact and sit through those panicky feelings you will feel in the first month or so..i will get better...you will learn..and never allow yourself to fall so hard for a chick again...

I cut my oneitis off and ignored all her stupid attempts to chat after a few months of NC. After a few months she sent a desperate text that she needs "closure". Met with her and she was soooo happy to see me. Kept touching me, wanting to know what i was up to etc etc but i acted very cold. Whenever she started a new convo i would change the topic and generally act as if i was very distracted and uninterested and didnt really want to be there...kept getting "distracted" by people around and "missed" what she just said...she kept saying you "not here"...would stop mid sentence and i would go...sorry what was that?..and i would look at her as if i just realised she was there...i cut the meeting short and said good bye..she came in for a kiss and i stepped back..said good bye...the end...

 

[GhengisKhan]

Well, I can kind of perceive from your post that you weren't even f****** this girl? It's okay dude, been there myself. My advice: read your first post several times over and say to yourself, meaning it more and more each time, "**** this, this is not who I want to be, this is not who I AM!" Next step: set yourself a limited amount of cash and go get a couple of lap dances. Just make sure you go far enough away so no one you know can see you in this pathetic state. Sure, it's totally fake and all the strippers will secretly think you're worthless, but there's no better quick fix to thinking about a chick you've lost your spine over than to have hot naked chicks all over you. Then begin some confident conversation with some real women. Once you're over this (and you will be) and have some different women fawning over you (and you will have), I certainly wouldn't judge you for throwing your new found triumphs in this girl's face. :yes: She's treating you like ****; when you're gold, go ahead and say "look at me now!" That's closure.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Yes, a lot of us have been there.

Keep repeating this to yourself:

Men should be more mature and responsible than women. That's our job.

We complain that women go for azzholes. And we want to believe we are better than them because of this.

But then we find ourselves attracted to women that treat us with disrespect.

Don't be like them. A bithc is the female version of the azzhole.

Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't respect you?

Be man, grow a pair, and walk away from any women that doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated. If you don't, not only is she disrespecting you, you are disrespecting yourself.

End of story.