Anyone know a quiet guy who can do well against loud high-energy party dudes?

skipfontaine22

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Hey dudes

I have always been more of the quiet type.
I can get into "state" once I warm up, but its not super easy.

I have always done fairly well with women. In fact, in HS and in college I thought being quiet was kind of a cool, intriguing thing about me.

But recently I really view my quietness as my most negative trait.. especially when there are super high energy people around.

I'll admit -- I am "in my head" a bit, but I think even if I wasn't I would never be the "loud guy" with tons of stuff to say.

Does anyone know any quiet guys who really do well with it? Any ways to maximize it?

Or is it basically always a negative when high energy loud guys are around?
 
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Plinco

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Hey dudes

I have always been more of the quiet type.
I can get into "state" once I warm up, but its not super easy.

I have always done fairly well with women. In fact, in HS and in college I thought being quiet was kind of a cool, intriguing thing about me.

But recently I really view my quietness as my most negative trait.. especially when there are super high energy people around.

I'll admit -- I am in my head a bit, but I think even if I wasn't I would never be the "loud guy" with tons of stuff to say.

Does anyone know any quiet guys who really do well with it? Any ways to maximize it?

Or is it basically always a handicap against high energy loud guys?
It's not a handicap, take what you have and make it work for you, which is what it sounds like you have done already. Focus on bigger goals.

However if it is that important to you, yes you can do it.
 

SW15

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If you're a quieter guy, you're best suited for non-bar approaching or quieter, upscale bar/lounge type approaching if you must do night venue approaching. Some quieter guys can do ok with swipe app dating, though most quieter guys probably won't do well on Instagram DM'ing because their lifestyle and follower count won't be impressive enough to stand out in the DMs.
 

skipfontaine22

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If you're a quieter guy, you're best suited for non-bar approaching or quieter, upscale bar/lounge type approaching if you must do night venue approaching. Some quieter guys can do ok with swipe app dating, though most quieter guys probably won't do well on Instagram DM'ing because their lifestyle and follower count won't be impressive enough to stand out in the DMs.
Thanks. I've always been a bar dude. The hardest stuff for me is when there is like 4 loud dudes and one hot chick at an afterparty and I am the quiet guy.
My angle is I am decent looking, and have other things going for me I guess.

What makes you bring up instagram DMing? Is that a common method people are actually doing to pull?
 

Zimbabwe

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Go to environments where most others are quite guys like coffee shops,libraries or niche hobby groups.
 

Gamisch

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if you are quiet around loud guys. you better be good looking. Or have a solid status/rep. otherwise you’ll be drowned out.
Its simple like that. Other men =competition. Sometimes in life you'll notice you have to step things up a notch. Think about peacock's feathers, or the manes of lions. Nature's way of being more visible to to the opposite sex. Human/ male equivalent is the gym, a car ect but also behaviour.

OP gotta fight his " introverted tendencies " and be more out there.
 

Murk

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Make friends with loud guys and leech off their energy. It does rub off, that vibe and aura, you can have it too with enough confidence.
 

Mike32ct

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if you are quiet around loud guys. you better be good looking. Or have a solid status/rep. otherwise you’ll be drowned out.
^This. If the quiet guy is very good looking (relative to his louder peers), he will make them look try-hard by comparison.

If he doesn't have superior looks (or status), he will definitely be drowned out.

Barring that, an introvert's primary strength is one on one (not group) communication. He may have to separate from the pack and either try to isolate a chick to talk to or find some rare lone wolf chick.
 
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2Rocky

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Let them be the dancing monkey. Be the mysterious guy that makes confident eye contact across the room and piques their curiosity.

Show you are confident and social, but not loud and obnoxious. If they are shotgunning beers you are drinking whiskey on the rocks. Think of it as you are at the bar with your brother's kids. They amuse you, but you are too old for that, but you egg them on and let them make fools of themselves.

You are Stoic. Their actions don't phase you and you are amused , not trying to keep up.
You are aware. You see the attractive women over there and acknowledge them. They become intrigued when you don't try to show off to get their attention .
You Invite them to approach with your body language and eye contact.
 

nismo-4

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if you are quiet around loud guys. you better be good looking. Or have a solid status/rep. otherwise you’ll be drowned out.
You'll have that mysterious aura in doing so. But without good looks, you'll be mysterious and go home by yourself...the only way this'll work.

Hell, doesn't everything seem to work when the guy got looks and status going for him?
 
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