Having had long hair for years since I'm 16, I've tried almost all the products out there, and they're all the f*ckin' same. I currently use Pert Plus Shampoo mixed with conditioner to wash my hair, and for conditioner I use Finesse. Just keep combing it to distribute the oils. The more you do this, the better your hair will look, and the more the b*tches will cold approach you on how "they love it". And lest we admit, there's nothing better than a chick approaching YOU as opposed to the other way around. Takes a little work and tension off our backs.
As far as washing goes, I'll usually wash it when it starts getting greasy, which can vary...sometimes it'll stay good for 2-3 days, then there's some other times it won't. So wash it when it starts getting greasy. And as far as losing hairs goes, it's normal as could be. It's said that people loose 150 hairs or more a day.