Anyone here is Highly Sensitive?

[TheFlyingMan]

Is anyone here highly sensitive? I've discovered some deeper issues inside myself that is screwing up my relationships - I managed to get enough game to attract some ladies, but starting relationships with them has been hell for me. Even one month relationships leave me a total emotional wreck when it ends. I've since discovered that I'm highly sensitive. Does anyone here have the same problem, and how do you deal with it? There is some information out there, but it doesn't really apply to women, and I am not sure if the information is just AFC material.

 

[joekerr31]

the whole sensitivity thing is a big problem for a lot of guys.

when you see a guy losing his temper and flying off the handle, its usually because he's overly sensitive.

sensitivity, i believe (in most cases anyway) isn't really a biochemical thing. a lot of people think it is - that certain people have a chemical make up that makes them overly sensitive in the same way that we are biologically extroverted or introverted.

i do believe introvert / extrovert is biological myself. just no getting around how some people are charged up when they are around others, while others slowly get drained and need some alone time to recharge.

but assuming the sensitivity thing is rooted in biochemistry, then it comes down to perspective.

it sounds to me like you are placing A LOT of importance and value on the relationship and how it turns out. as a result you are hyper sensitive to what is happening.

the big trap people get themselves into is 1) thinking they need the other person and 2) thinking that happiness is a function of how the relatioship turns out. they work themselves up into a neurotic state.

life is short, enjoy the ride and stop worrying so much about what some chic thinks of you. the moment you let go and go with the flow you'll be fine.

 

[Silkandsteel]

Read the above post a few times mate. Joekerr is right, once you start believing that your happiness is dependant on a relationship and a girl's view/feelings for you, then you are basically handing your whole existence over to someone else to play with.

Start thinking about what YOU want and what makes YOU happy and once you know, enter into a new relationship upholding those values. If your happiness is LESS than it was before you started in the new relationship, make her aware of it and/or start another.

Build a network of close friends and people you can be yourself with. People who value you as you are and what you like, then you won't feel so alone without a relationship.

I have a friend who had no other friends before I met him. He lives alone and is perfectly happy in his own company and he really ISN'T lonely, he's perfectly ok with or without others. If you need company to validate yourself, ok, but work on not needing anyone, especially a woman in a new relationship. Women need a guy they can depend on, how can they depend on someone who DEPENDS on them?

Chin up man

 

[TheFlyingMan]

thanks for the support guys. Golden advice there. I do sorta know all these principles but the moment I fall for someone it all goes out the window. Guess I just have to be stronger next time, as I reverted into a total needy AFC after a few weeks.

 

[JoeBlack]

TheFlyingMan,

Some very good advice from these guys. I think when people pin so much on a relationship, its reasonable to expect them to be cut up about it.

When you realise that a relationship with one person is not 100% of your life. Your friends, family, career, success, experiences etc etc. all play a large part in your happiness.. Once you are truly happy with yourself, then you act in a very different way with women. It all starts to come together and you realise THEY re lucky to be with YOU and they are just a small part of your life which won't be nothing without them.

I remember before I made the decision to split with my girlffriend I hung in for a couple of years not happy. Why? because I did not think I could ever find that companionship again. What caused me to finally make the decision to leave was meeting someone else who made me feel happier. I finally realised there was at least one, and lets face it probably thousands of other girls out there that could make me much happier.

So my advice would be don't put so much emphasis on the relationship and do everything you can to ensure you have a busy and fun life and that you are the person YOU want to be.

I also believe that if you do have some issues with sensitivity they are easily solved by using NLP or even going to see an NLP coach or a hypnotherapist. Most it will be your internal state, the questions you ask yourself. I think it would be pretty easy to make a big shift in how you feel, quite quickly.

Anyway, thats my 2 cents

 

[realsmoothie]

I'm definitely overly sensative. I've never been able to deal well with situations when emotions get too angry... even if it's two other people. My parents used to fight a lot and I was always the peacemaker... so that's carried through to this day. At least I am good at it.

 

[Freddy1]

Is anyone here highly sensitive? I've discovered some deeper issues inside myself that is screwing up my relationships - I managed to get enough game to attract some ladies, but starting relationships with them has been hell for me. Even one month relationships leave me a total emotional wreck when it ends. I've since discovered that I'm highly sensitive. Does anyone here have the same problem, and how do you deal with it? There is some information out there, but it doesn't really apply to women, and I am not sure if the information is just AFC material.

Yeah I'm a highly sensitive as well. But I understand how to combat it better now.

Its partly because you might be too much of an introvert and you put too much meaning in women. I would try to learn to be more an exovert. Focus exo-verted more than inward. Socialize more dont stay home too much. Dont be alone as much. Talk to friends go out and make new ones etc.

NLP or hypnotherapy can help as JoeBlack suggested.

 

[Downlow]

I think freddy1 has some good advice. I also used to be pretty sensitive- I think a lot of it is from attaching too much importance on any girl. i guess that I thought that any woman i would end up with was always special for some reason or another and that we had potential for a good future.

I got over it, just due to the sheer number of relationships I have had since then.

 

[tr0ublemaker]

Man, this sounds out of reach from SoSuave members..

This is probably due to something possibly psychological that's secretly coming out..you should see someone specialized in figuring this kind of stuff out...

it's either that or you're a pu$$y

 

[Metro3pilot]

when you say highly sensitive ..do you mean Jumping to conclusions, making assumptions and relating any thing she does, something related to you ?

then you get insecure, over react and completely self destruct, only to figure out what she did had nothing to do with you ?

yeah, been there done that !

it's hard but it comes down to emotional control, not worrying about the outcome and knowing if it does not work out there is another chick around the corner

:rockon: