Anyone find Spinning Plates more exhausting than you think?

[deuce42]

Hi guys

Is it just me or have you noticed there is a fundamental implicit requirement with spinning plates - YOU HAVE TO KEEP SPINNING!!!!

By this I mean, by keeping a few ladies on the go, you have to keep all of them very active and constantly spinning. I find that if i let one go for a small amout of time it loses momentum and the vibe between us disappears. I know that PUA logic suggests that no contact for periods can be a really good thing for keeping them keen, but my experience is that during the early dating phase you have to keep the momentum with chicks at an ever escalating pace or the liaison with that girl screws up for good.

So the problem? - well when spinning multiples of girls I am finding it a full time job fitting them in and keeping up with sms, calls, and dates. True there are people with real problems in life, this is hardly something I should complain about, and for that matter it certainly is not meant to be a complaint as much as a general observation that it's actually a lot of bloody work!

I find that keeping a part of my own life for me and retaining the interests and pursuits that are important to me is vital. As we all acknowledge, part of a being a DJ is being true to yourself, being your own man, living your life and doing things that are important to you - but trying to hold down a job, fit in these pursuits, and then manage this entire spinning plate program I have somehow created is just fu$%ing exhausting.

It's the frequency of the spinning that's required to make the process work that's doing me in!

 

[Jeffst1980]

I agree. Also, if you're sleeping with a women, the relationship ceases to be "casual" in her eyes, no matter what you tell her. There will eventually be a push for commitment, angry conversations, etc. It can be an extremely frustration situation.

You have to decide early on if you see potential in any one girl, the way I see it. The minute you decide there's no future, you should tell her and drop her--this minimizes the drama. If it's a one night stand, it's even easier.

I used to have extreme difficulty with dumping girls, and often avoided the situation or "disappeared." This was the wrong thing to do; it's much kinder in the long run to be honest and tell them that you're not interested, even if you have to deal with anger or disappointment on their part. It's uncomfortable to do, but absolutely necessary if you want to spin plates yet keep your sanity.

Of course, if you see no future with a girl and wish to continue sleeping with her anyway, that's your prerogative; just know that the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to extricate yourself. I use spinning plates as a means to end--to find a quality girlfriend--rather than to maintain concurrent relationships...that just sounds complicated.

 

[Zarky]

So the problem? - well when spinning multiples of girls I am finding it a full time job fitting them in and keeping up with sms, calls, and dates.

Would you rather have too many women or not enough? Every path you take in life has its own set of challenges. If you like having >1 woman in your life, as I do, then have MLTRs. If you don't, don't.

It's like, in my business I have many clients, not just one employer. Having many clients is a challenge, but to me it's better than having one employer. I'll gladly make that tradeoff.

 

[Warrior74]

Would you rather have too many women or not enough? Every path you take in life has its own set of challenges. If you like having >1 woman in your life, as I do, then have MLTRs. If you don't, don't.

It's like, in my business I have many clients, not just one employer. Having many clients is a challenge, but to me it's better than having one employer. I'll gladly make that tradeoff.

This.

By this I mean, by keeping a few ladies on the go, you have to keep all of them very active and constantly spinning. I find that if i let one go for a small amout of time it loses momentum and the vibe between us disappears. I know that PUA logic suggests that no contact for periods can be a really good thing for keeping them keen, but my experience is that during the early dating phase you have to keep the momentum with chicks at an ever escalating pace or the liaison with that girl screws up for good.

I would think the name spinning plates would accurate describe the activity. You ever seen a real life plate spinning performance? It takes some skill to do just enough to keep each plate spinning. Most guys get tired of that and settle down with one that ticks off most of the boxes.

Two chics is all I can handle when I have free time. When I'm busy I can barely keep one.

 

[Paintballguy]

Would you rather have too many women or not enough? Every path you take in life has its own set of challenges. If you like having >1 woman in your life, as I do, then have MLTRs. If you don't, don't.

It's like, in my business I have many clients, not just one employer. Having many clients is a challenge, but to me it's better than having one employer. I'll gladly make that tradeoff.

Quoted for truth.

I'd rather have the challenge of spinning multiple plates then having no plates at all. I'm spinning 4 plates right now and loving every minute.

 

[deuce42]

Yes dont get me wrong - as I had noted in my post, its hardly something to complain about, yes given the choice anybody would take multiple options over one or none, I was just simply making an observation that the multiple plates is a lot less easy to manage than it seems in theory.

Jeffst, you're right that pulling the pin on them earlier rather than later is a good idea to manage this.

 

[MonkeyButt]

Dropping some plates...

I agree, it does get busy.
What I'm finding, at my age, the challenge is not organizing their time, but dodging direction questions early on wrt what I've been doing all week.

I'm finding the women I'm dating want to ensure I'm the only one (up until I am anyway :s ).

I don't like to lie to anyone directly, but I've been tempted.

The other issue is, remembering names and numbers, what you've talked about with each one. Uggh, one woman's conversations is sometimes a challenge when she's a talk titan.

I'm using my iPhone as best I can, getting phone numbers and pictures so I don't screw up, but it doesn't help the conversation recall.

I had to drop 2 plates to take on a couple other unexpected ones. The whole plate thing annoys me, but in the end, we're all just plates.

MB

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Deuce,
The real problem with spinning plates is becoming overly attached to more than One Woman....You are caught in a rip tide then....the Hunter has become the Hunted...

A normal Girl will only be a Plate for just So long...You have to target your strikes so you shoot your arrows at the vulnerable...amazingly they are not necessarily ugly second rate Women,they are just people who life has driven up a blind alley....

As you get older you find more and more of these girls desperate for love on the run...from my own rather disreputable past I think of the following real life examples...My latest for instance,a multi Orgasmvic Asian Lady...She lives for her two Daughters,prepares meals,cares for a young child,fields calls for one daughters business...impossible for such a Lady to carry on a normal life...
Another is a woman who has just been brought out from China by her daughter...She is also a cheap housekeeper,she cannot drive,which makes her living in a remote newer suburb rather difficult....Another of my Plates looks after a Husband with early onset Alzheimers...sad but he really likes me too,told me once not to tell his wife I had seen him here,as she would kill him...another Woman,really attractive and intelligent is buying two investment properties,she works in retail,on the go from 8AM till 10PM just about seven days a week....by the time she has done her basic domestics,eaten,prepared for to morrow...she has no time for a relationship...as she has a very active libido she is grateful for a visitor who just wants to share a meal,quick bit of nonsense and maybe a little bit of Television,before she collapses in a heap..In the past,I have had several young nurses on the night shift smile on me,as well as my share of single Mummies...bless their little hearts.

So if you prowl on the Internet,stress your own odd hours and you will be surprised at the response.

 

[Zarky]

I agree, it does get busy.
What I'm finding, at my age, the challenge is not organizing their time, but dodging direction questions early on wrt what I've been doing all week.

Just lie.

I'm finding the women I'm dating want to ensure I'm the only one (up until I am anyway :s ).

Just lie.

I don't like to lie to anyone directly, but I've been tempted.

Just lie.

The other issue is, remembering names and numbers, what you've talked about with each one. Uggh, one woman's conversations is sometimes a challenge when she's a talk titan.

Doesn't really matter, women love it when you forget stuff, makes 'em suspicious that you have other women on the side.

I'm using my iPhone as best I can, getting phone numbers and pictures so I don't screw up, but it doesn't help the conversation recall.

Ditto.

I had to drop 2 plates to take on a couple other unexpected ones. The whole plate thing annoys me, but in the end, we're all just plates.

True dat.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Bingo,
I know the feeling of the OP. Plate Spinning can be exhausting. I used to be craftier. As in if out with a chick, I'd go to the restroom at some point and drop a couple things she told me about herself in my blackberry. That way I could refresh what I knew right before picking her up for a later date. Right now I'm working 55-60 hours a week. Realizing I'm not really focused on dating. I spun a plate down yesterday, when I had to tell her that I just don't have time for dating. My ex-girlfriend messaged me yesterday for a date, told her I was working overtime. Did do a impromptu lunch with a plate yesterday after a fundraiser only because I was free for about 2 hours. The more you make it less of a priority. The more they pursue you. That's my current plan.

 

[Nutz]

It's tough. I got up to 4 and it was pushing my limits of keeping everything straight in my head. 2 and a 3rd FWB is just about perfect.

 

[Solomon]

When I Was on top of my game I was spinning 3 plates on top of that i was "prospecting" other potential mates, working 60 hours a week (overnights and days uugh) I honestly don't know how I did it

Now I just let my only plate go I still work 60 hours a week (no overnight thank God) but I need to balance my time or else Ill spread myself thin, but then again the slowness of not getting any ass isn't cool either