Anyone ever mess with a chubby chick as a slumpbreaker?
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ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
see sig.
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
Jaxon said:
Freddie Prinze?
But +1 on your rep for being a breast man!
Kev07
Master Don Juan
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I went out with a fat chick once, will never do so again. Disgusting.
Did not bang her, did not want to.
Did not bang her, did not want to.
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
Hey man, what can I say? Us breast men need to stick together. We're a dying breed. I'm actually really worried, that the busty girls will start to die off, because they'll stop caring about having large breasts and start caring more about having a large ass. Kinda like a evolution thing...I'm not quite sure how thats gonna work yet, but you get the idea. lol!Jaxon said:
Kev07
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ValleyDJing said:
Bro, according to offtopic.com, titties are getting bigger with every generation :rockon:
I don't know what happened to me though, I was a total boob guy, not even a question if you asked me. I switched over to ass recently :woo:
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
Kev07 said:
If thats true, you made my night man...despite the fact that Tom has decided to be a doushe bag and not let me log in to my myspace. Maintence is being performed...guess what doushbag? IT WAS WORKING JUST FINE DUMBASS!
btw...you should provide a link if possible.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
nah, I'd rather sit at home and play madden then bang a fatty.
Someone Much cooler
Senior Don Juan
I never have, i might.... just to see what its like! I doubt i would find them disgusting, unattractive prolly, but disgusting naw, they are human- like me, they have flesh and skin and molecules-just like me, essentially we are the same they just have alot more of everything. =)
B4IFURU18?
Don Juan
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This is pretty pathetic, but hilarious nonetheless.
I came home from the bar one night, and I had the house to myself. I looked up some girl I met off myspace, well, actually, craigslist...
Anyway, I got her to drive the 30 miles, and she came over at like 3 am. By the time she got there I was super ****ing tired, and didn't really want her to come, but I figured I'd see what would happen anyway.
Not only was I tired, I caught a glimpse of her overweight self as she was walking up. Ahhh, fvck! I had no idea how to play this one. I contemplated on not answering my door, or shutting the garage door as she was walking up. This girl wasn't remotely good looking, and weighed about as much as myself.
Well, I let her in, poured her a very stiff Bacardi Coke, and I started chugging beer. If I was gonna slump-bust tonight, I might as well do it absolutely **** faced.
One thing led to another, and in about 30 minutes time we were in my room. Barely able to stay on, clinging for my life we were both on my twin sized bed watching downloaded porn...
Eventually, I just got right to business, traversed my way over her stomach, then her gunt, a roll or two, and slipped a finger in her extremely moist, warm gap. Holy christ this girl was wet.
I gloved up, slid it in, and started to go to work. I noticed the fuse on my yogurt cannon was getting short. FVCK! I kept thrusting, hoping to god this just gets over with so I can go to sleep. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. The deed was done.
Praying that I didn't creampie her, I snuck buck naked out of my room across the hall into the bathroom were I hunkered down for a good 10 minutes contemplating on how I can get this chick to leave RIGHT NOW.
I called a buddy up, told him to act like he was stranded somewhere (at 5 am), and that I was his only source for a ride. It worked.
She went home pissed as hell. "You just brought me over here for sex didn't you, this is unreal, I feel so stupid." Blah, blah, blah...
And that's my story...
I came home from the bar one night, and I had the house to myself. I looked up some girl I met off myspace, well, actually, craigslist...
Anyway, I got her to drive the 30 miles, and she came over at like 3 am. By the time she got there I was super ****ing tired, and didn't really want her to come, but I figured I'd see what would happen anyway.
Not only was I tired, I caught a glimpse of her overweight self as she was walking up. Ahhh, fvck! I had no idea how to play this one. I contemplated on not answering my door, or shutting the garage door as she was walking up. This girl wasn't remotely good looking, and weighed about as much as myself.
Well, I let her in, poured her a very stiff Bacardi Coke, and I started chugging beer. If I was gonna slump-bust tonight, I might as well do it absolutely **** faced.
One thing led to another, and in about 30 minutes time we were in my room. Barely able to stay on, clinging for my life we were both on my twin sized bed watching downloaded porn...
Eventually, I just got right to business, traversed my way over her stomach, then her gunt, a roll or two, and slipped a finger in her extremely moist, warm gap. Holy christ this girl was wet.
I gloved up, slid it in, and started to go to work. I noticed the fuse on my yogurt cannon was getting short. FVCK! I kept thrusting, hoping to god this just gets over with so I can go to sleep. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. The deed was done.
Praying that I didn't creampie her, I snuck buck naked out of my room across the hall into the bathroom were I hunkered down for a good 10 minutes contemplating on how I can get this chick to leave RIGHT NOW.
I called a buddy up, told him to act like he was stranded somewhere (at 5 am), and that I was his only source for a ride. It worked.
She went home pissed as hell. "You just brought me over here for sex didn't you, this is unreal, I feel so stupid." Blah, blah, blah...
And that's my story...
Someone Much cooler
Senior Don Juan
yikes "traversed my way over her stomach, then her gunt, a roll or two" We talking about really big chicks...like in norbit? i was speaking of pleasantly plump. wow
Kev07
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Impossible to find a link there, **** falls off the first page within minutes if it's not getting responses, and that thread I saw was a while back.ValleyDJing said:
kdnash82
Master Don Juan
As with my tale of "Opportunities missed", I have my fair share of "Dry Spell Humps".
Story #1 of many. (damn this is so sad)
I had just got to San Diego. Only people I knew were the people I worked with (marine corps). Some of them had girlfriends, and they were smoking hot. So naturally I figured they would be able to hook me up with some of their friends. Could you believe that each one of their friends already had boyfriends, or was already seeing someone.
I went through a dry spell. I eventually turned to AOL chatrooms. I came across one girl who was very very cute in the face. She had a few pics, mostly of her covered up by someone else in the pic, or it was only from the chest up. First thing that came to mind is that th is chick is on the big side. She had a nice rack though, so i figured I could get past this fact.
So we chat, and I get her phone number, and we chat, and things lead to sexual conversations. Finally I get to the point and I tell her that I wanna meet up with her sometime. She gave me her address and told me to pick her up at a certain time. I get to her place, and my mouth drops. She's a big one. I'd say about 150-160. She hops in the car and we're off to the movies.
After the movie, she says, "I've never seen how military guys live. Could I take a look at your place?" Still in my dry spell, I agree. I take her back to the barracks, and I'm trying to hurry and get her inside before anyone sees her. This doesn't work out, and I run into 3 different people that wanna stop and talk.
I finally get her inside and show the place to her. We sit on the bed (twin sized *detailed point*. We talk, then we kiss. I immediately grab for her boobies, because from the chest up, she's actually nice to look at. We do the deed and I guess since it's been so long, I'm spent. I immediately pass out. Then as I'm laying there, she's trying to spoon. It's a twin sized bed. I figure, this ain't gonna work and decided I would sleep on the floor.
At about 5am, she says that she needs to get home before her folks get worried. I wake up and take her back home. At 7am, I get a phone call from her that I don't answer. At 8:30am, I get another call. And another at 10, 11, 1, and 1:30pm. I finally answer and she's pissed. I tell her to calm down and explain to her that I'm not her man, and do not have to talk to her unless I want to. She understood, and didn't call for a while.
A month later, I was deployed to Chicago, IL and got a phone call from her while I was in the company of 3 chicks that were hanging out in our room. (a story in itself) I handed the phone to one of the girls and said, "You know what to do." She lit into this girl for calling "her man". I didn't hear from that girl again.
Story #1 of many. (damn this is so sad)
I had just got to San Diego. Only people I knew were the people I worked with (marine corps). Some of them had girlfriends, and they were smoking hot. So naturally I figured they would be able to hook me up with some of their friends. Could you believe that each one of their friends already had boyfriends, or was already seeing someone.
I went through a dry spell. I eventually turned to AOL chatrooms. I came across one girl who was very very cute in the face. She had a few pics, mostly of her covered up by someone else in the pic, or it was only from the chest up. First thing that came to mind is that th is chick is on the big side. She had a nice rack though, so i figured I could get past this fact.
So we chat, and I get her phone number, and we chat, and things lead to sexual conversations. Finally I get to the point and I tell her that I wanna meet up with her sometime. She gave me her address and told me to pick her up at a certain time. I get to her place, and my mouth drops. She's a big one. I'd say about 150-160. She hops in the car and we're off to the movies.
After the movie, she says, "I've never seen how military guys live. Could I take a look at your place?" Still in my dry spell, I agree. I take her back to the barracks, and I'm trying to hurry and get her inside before anyone sees her. This doesn't work out, and I run into 3 different people that wanna stop and talk.
I finally get her inside and show the place to her. We sit on the bed (twin sized *detailed point*. We talk, then we kiss. I immediately grab for her boobies, because from the chest up, she's actually nice to look at. We do the deed and I guess since it's been so long, I'm spent. I immediately pass out. Then as I'm laying there, she's trying to spoon. It's a twin sized bed. I figure, this ain't gonna work and decided I would sleep on the floor.
At about 5am, she says that she needs to get home before her folks get worried. I wake up and take her back home. At 7am, I get a phone call from her that I don't answer. At 8:30am, I get another call. And another at 10, 11, 1, and 1:30pm. I finally answer and she's pissed. I tell her to calm down and explain to her that I'm not her man, and do not have to talk to her unless I want to. She understood, and didn't call for a while.
A month later, I was deployed to Chicago, IL and got a phone call from her while I was in the company of 3 chicks that were hanging out in our room. (a story in itself) I handed the phone to one of the girls and said, "You know what to do." She lit into this girl for calling "her man". I didn't hear from that girl again.
kdnash82
Master Don Juan
Story #2 of many
I was deployed to Yuma, AZ. This place is the butt hole of AZ. They have some very very good strip clubs, and you'll find some nice hot women there, but who really wants to pay to get a hard dik, with no release factor?
So instead of going there, we all went to this club. It's funny because the only time these places are even a place to go is when Marines are deployed there for a few weeks. Anyway, I get hammered!! I am LIT!! I don't have to work the next day, but we still have a curfew.
Anyway, as I'm coming out the club, I'm acting a complete idiot. I'm talking to every person I see. I then see two girls walking, and started talking to them. Apparently, I was a funny guy, because they couldn't stop laughing. Then again, maybe they were drunk too. (I forgot to include the fact that one of these chicks thighs was the size of my waist, the other girl was smaller, but still big.)
My friend just happened to see me and comes over and takes the bigger of the two. We're both drunk and don't wanna pay for a cab, so we ask them to take us home. The minute I get in the back seat with this girl, I'm all over her and her boobs. I pulled them out right in the back seat and start on them. She then starts speaking in spanish to her friend. My friend speaks spanish and he's speaking with them. I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, but know that these boobs feel really good in my mouth. Finally my friend says, "We're not going back to base. They're taking us back to their place." I don't remember saying a word.
We finally get to the house, and I'm expecting there to be some more drinking. They don't have anything. Not one drop. My buzz is starting to wear off, and the lights coming on has made my vision clear. Shes a big one. Her friend is way more cuter, but bigger than she is.
The bigger of the two then says "You guys can sleep in my son's room". I get in there and there is this twin sized bed. I'm thinking, this is just my luck. I grab some pillows and the blanket and tell her that we're sleeping on the floor.
I get back into action with those boobs. We start to do the do, and the condom starts to dry up. (ever happen to you, where it starts to get dry, and probably hurts you more than it does her?) So I pull out and hocked the biggest loogey I could on my dik and stuck it right back in. I finish up, and roll off her.
The alcohol catches up with me and nature calls. As I'm walking to the bathroom, another door opens. My friend is coming out, and we're sitting there talking in the hallway. I look into the bedroom and there is his girl still laying on her back with her legs wide open. I shivered.
The next morning, the alcohol is gone, the sun is up, and all my senses are there. I sat in the back seat and looked out the window the entire ride. When we got there, she wanted a hug. I closed my eyes, hugged her, and left without saying another word.
This is a case where alcohol was involved. Alcohol is not always the case with me and big chicks.
I was deployed to Yuma, AZ. This place is the butt hole of AZ. They have some very very good strip clubs, and you'll find some nice hot women there, but who really wants to pay to get a hard dik, with no release factor?
So instead of going there, we all went to this club. It's funny because the only time these places are even a place to go is when Marines are deployed there for a few weeks. Anyway, I get hammered!! I am LIT!! I don't have to work the next day, but we still have a curfew.
Anyway, as I'm coming out the club, I'm acting a complete idiot. I'm talking to every person I see. I then see two girls walking, and started talking to them. Apparently, I was a funny guy, because they couldn't stop laughing. Then again, maybe they were drunk too. (I forgot to include the fact that one of these chicks thighs was the size of my waist, the other girl was smaller, but still big.)
My friend just happened to see me and comes over and takes the bigger of the two. We're both drunk and don't wanna pay for a cab, so we ask them to take us home. The minute I get in the back seat with this girl, I'm all over her and her boobs. I pulled them out right in the back seat and start on them. She then starts speaking in spanish to her friend. My friend speaks spanish and he's speaking with them. I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, but know that these boobs feel really good in my mouth. Finally my friend says, "We're not going back to base. They're taking us back to their place." I don't remember saying a word.
We finally get to the house, and I'm expecting there to be some more drinking. They don't have anything. Not one drop. My buzz is starting to wear off, and the lights coming on has made my vision clear. Shes a big one. Her friend is way more cuter, but bigger than she is.
The bigger of the two then says "You guys can sleep in my son's room". I get in there and there is this twin sized bed. I'm thinking, this is just my luck. I grab some pillows and the blanket and tell her that we're sleeping on the floor.
I get back into action with those boobs. We start to do the do, and the condom starts to dry up. (ever happen to you, where it starts to get dry, and probably hurts you more than it does her?) So I pull out and hocked the biggest loogey I could on my dik and stuck it right back in. I finish up, and roll off her.
The alcohol catches up with me and nature calls. As I'm walking to the bathroom, another door opens. My friend is coming out, and we're sitting there talking in the hallway. I look into the bedroom and there is his girl still laying on her back with her legs wide open. I shivered.
The next morning, the alcohol is gone, the sun is up, and all my senses are there. I sat in the back seat and looked out the window the entire ride. When we got there, she wanted a hug. I closed my eyes, hugged her, and left without saying another word.
This is a case where alcohol was involved. Alcohol is not always the case with me and big chicks.
B4IFURU18?
Don Juan
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Kdnash -
Excellent reads. Perhaps you just like big women?
Excellent reads. Perhaps you just like big women?