Anyone ever just feel numb in life?

[silverwex]

Hey guys,

Quick q: Anyone ever just feel numb in life? I mean when you know you're in a rut and deep down you know you have to/want to get out of it but when then your motivation dies just leaving you exactly where you are when you started out?

Kinda like never-ending cycles?

 

[penkitten]

you need a serious moment with yourself to reflect on what you want outta life, find some direction to it , choose a path, and figure out how to take it .

some people get to this point and look at career paths, others look for a new relationship and some look for religion.
i say look deep inside yourself and find out what it is you really want, and then just go with it.

it takes time to get there and its not a magical over night solution, but in time you will get to where you want to be as long as you dont give up and settle with where you are now. ruts are bad but you can climb out!

 

[RedPill]

Having experienced several "ruts" in the past, here's my take on them. Over the past several years I've gone through phases of extreme productivity, followed by a rut. For me, I think the rut is really just burnout. Too little sleep, too many consecutive months of hitting the gym hard and being on a bulking diet, working a ton of hours, etc. It seems like the rut comes on when things get overwhelming. People will just not give you any time to yourself. Your car and living space needs maintenance. The girl you're dating is fun but it's hard to find the time to go do things with her. Before you know it, you're a blob on the couch watching television all weekend, not working out at all, having a real hard time waking up, and routine chores are not getting done.

Here's my new solution for the rut, before it gets out of control. It's called a DAY OFF. Maybe this won't do it for you, who knows. But sensing this week that I've entered that rut phase again (it was a very busy summer), I did not do anything on saturday. I didn't call anyone. Turned my phone off. No work. I slept for about 18 hours, many of them in front of the tv with some meaningless football game on in the backround. Didn't go to the gym. Bought an expensive steak dinner for myself and then went back to sleep again. And right now I feel like a million bucks. Ready to get back in the saddle tomorrow.

Anyway silverwex, maybe my tactic will work for you, maybe it won't. I've just found that for me ruts aren't really a lack of goals, or a lack of motivation, but simply a lack of energy.

 

[MackJr]

I agree with Redpill. I'll add a little bit.

When you run out of energy, your emotions get more negative as well. It's important that when you feel that way that you use your logical mind to control yourself, so that you decide to either rest up or take action that will get you out of the "rut." Contemplating it won't do much, I tell you that.

 

[PRMoon]

I often feel that the redundancy of life and our existance but I also like to look at it as a dance which is fun. Just check the sig, it may be endless but that doesn't mean it's boreing.

 

[Emperiorjack]

Yeah I feel that way right now having to go to school and work sucks. You get no time for yourself. I just want to work, eat and sleep you know but that'll have to wait till schools over with.

 

[organizedconfusion]

Originally posted by silverwex
Hey guys,

Quick q: Anyone ever just feel numb in life? I mean when you know you're in a rut and deep down you know you have to/want to get out of it but when then your motivation dies just leaving you exactly where you are when you started out?

Kinda like never-ending cycles?

i always get this way , as a matter of fact my life seems like
one big rut.Usually when i do feel this way.
I drive to a different city just to hang out ,i'll go out to
look for people to race or i'll go to a club just to "get lost"
in the crowd.These are seriouslly bad habits and i have the coping skills of a chronicly depresed suicidal teen...but i am
working on it.
it feels kind of comforting for me to "settle"
into the mood of depression and "soak" it up and just
live in the moment of it...it's a really humbling experiance.
like i am indulging in what everyone dreads,fears
and tries soo hard to avoid like feeling like.
depressed ,bitter,sad,angry...i just go with the flow,
because i understand it for what it is and i know that i am
just having a bad day nothing more nothing less...
tommorow will be better and if not...oh s*** a camaro SS..

 

[LowPlainsDrifter]

I get this way, too.

Wallowing in a rut sometimes feels good in a strange way - I think that's part of the challenge of extricating ourselves from it.

I think that when you feel good, you need to create a reminder mechanism for when you're "down."

In other words, you find a way to trigger a recognition of being in a rut, which is the first step in climbing out of it.

Remember that positive action begets positive action.

 

[silverwex]

hey guys, thanks for the replies.

Im in a bit of a rush to get to the gym at this moment so Ill reply to each post later.

Just one thing, I think the reason for my rut is lack of doing things compared to over-doing things - if you know what I mean.

I wouldnt call myself lazy, just not motivated to do much. Sucks.

 

[Visceral]

Here's my take on motivation. Everybody I've asked for a solution to my chronic lack of motivation has told me exactly the same thing: you just don't want ______ enough. When you aren't prepared to work for something, you just don't want it enough. When you let things like how hard it's going to be, how long it's going to take, or how much it's going to suck for you turn you off to what you would otherwise want, then you just don't want it enough.

Apparently, when you want something enough, pain and difficulty don't affect you anymore; they don't go away, obviously, but they lose their power to stop you from doing something. Of course, this only explains the problem; it doesn't offer a solution.

I'm in the same boat you are; everything out there tells you what to do to get the thing you want, but it doesn't tell you what to do in order to want the thing.

 

[MackJr]

Visceral,

They've given you a macho answer, but I don't think it's a really useful one.

If you didn't want whatever it is you want, then you wouldn't be agonizing over it in the first place. I don't agonize over the fact that I wasn't Prom Queen (it's a joke), but you see plenty of women who do.

So you know that you want it. They're going by the leverage theory of motivation, which is what our pay system is based on. You go to work because you're paid, executives are paid more because they can get more elsewhere, yadda, yadda.

What you actually have to do is start practicing your willpower to do the things that will get you there. Expose yourself to the situation for a little bit, and then increase your exposure over time. That's how marathoners, and athletes do what they do. Somehow though, we tend to think that it's different for our minds.

It isn't.

If you're trying to get a workout going, start working out 5,10 minutes aday until it's a habit, then increase the challenge. Same thing with studying. Study 30 minutes, an hour, pretty soon you'll be able to put in 4 hours of solid study a day as long as you don't overtax yourself.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

For me, the past year or so has kinda been a rut.

Once I started going to a university, I was confused as to what I should do with my life. I felt like I was being pressured into things I didn't really want to do (in terms of my educational path), and I felt like I had all of this energy that I couldn't release into things I wanted to do.

I had little motivation to excel in school, my GPA dropped heavily, and I got distracted with other things in life, like banging chicks. My parents' views about me changed dramatically, and long story short, I lost the optimism that they once had for my future.

This has definately brought me down in a lot of ways, but ironically, I feel that it may have made me stronger.

Now, I feel it's time to get up, get started, and start pulling myself out of the hole I've made. I have finally defined what I want to do, made a set educational plan/goal for myself, and now see myself not as someone swimming aimlessly, but as a person with a purpose and goal.

Ruts come and go. They're part of life, but when one is coming on, I just look at my goal(s), remember that I'm the person in control, and work just a little harder anyway.

I remind myself that a lot of people have dreams or wants. Only a few of those people have the balls to face them. And even a fewer of those people have the strength to get up, be disciplined, and work like hell to achieve them.

I'm one of those few.

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

If you're in a really deep rut, get off the internet. Really.

Hanging on the internet all day when you're in a rut is like eating all day if you're fat. Feels good in the short term, but it'll only make thing worst.

Get fresh air, exercise, talk a walk in the park and pet some dogs, try a new hobby...anything!! Look at pictures of when you were happier.

I've read that we have 95-98% of the same thoughts today as we had yesterday. That's why it's so hard to change on a dime.

Make a 1% shift and build on it.

 

[ScrewIt]

I've been feeling quite the same lately.
Some days i feel like im a simple person with a simple life, living a dream (or trapped in one).

Anyway i think keeping yourself busy and your schedule filled is probably a good way to get out of it. It's not the most perfect method but it's a good way to start.

Altho my daily routine mostly consists of work part time and pm classes including saturday. I've been keeping myself fairly busy that i dont have the time to worry about other things or dwindle in pointless activities like playing games or watch tv. Plus i still have just enough time on weekends to hang out with friends.

a couple of my friends are a perfect example. They only take college courses, leaving most of their time to download porn, play games, download movies, watch tv. A very unproductive way of wasting time if you ask me.

a good productive way of spending your time (even if it doesnt reach your goals) is playing sports, volunteering, working, taking martial arts, joining clubs, trips, walking your dog around town.

As for "wanting" to do those things, it's up to you. It's tough really if you dont want to get out there or do anything, feeling unmotivated and unenergetic. I've been through it all. From my super optimistic driven self 2 years ago and to now, living in a rut-like dream, or so i could say...

But it's how i interpret the situation to say if im really wasting my time or if im enjoying myself. It's up to you to see it through for yourself in any given situation as well.

 

[Soprano]

I used to be in the RUT of all RUTS man.... no motivation...no energy..no fun...nothin

I went and I found somethin I loved to do man, you'll find it too one day. Maybe you'll do it all day every day, once a week, once a month, couple times a year, or once every couple years.. don't matter.. it's somethin you love that keeps you up. everyone's got or gonna have it one day

kinda like a hobby.. a passion

I found somethin I love to make, have, hold, play with, and so on.... nah it aint children, it's money

Benjamin Franklin.. the only man I'll ever get a hard on over :crackup:

 

[OzyBoy]

Yep i feel pretty **** at the moment in fact i have felt **** for who knows how long, i guess things are getting a bit better now but i just sometimes get depressed all of a sudden and then later on feel heeps better. I think i just need to do lots of exercise or take some drugs i usually feel better after that.

 

[silverwex]

Wow, lots of replies - i like it. Thanks.

Basically I know what I must do and I know what I want but my lack of motivation then kicks in and just makes me go back to this sad unfulfilling life.

Heres a list of what I really want at the moment:

- My own place
- Own car and license
- Average/Good paying FT job
- Great body (currently working on this - at least im doing something!)

Heres what i want somewhere down the line:

- GF
- Own business
- More confidence

Im currently looking at hypnosis cds on amazon and will buy one soon, just to see if theres any use to these things (which, personally, I think there is!)

 

[Soprano]

Originally posted by silverwex

Heres a list of what I really want at the moment:

- My own place
- Own car and license
- Average/Good paying FT job
- Great body (currently working on this - at least im doing something!)

Heres what i want somewhere down the line:

- GF
- Own business
- More confidence

our goals are extremely similar

I feel like I grew up way too fast, i was bouncing in clubs before i was old enough to drink lol, but I'm still living with my dad... it's the only part of my life that I havent moved on from..

having your own business is an exellent goal, and it feels great when you acheive it. I started mine late last year and I'm very close to being able to live off it.

 

[silverwex]

cool what sort of biz do you have?

id love to set up an interenet protal for my town (actually I have done it with relative success) but it was more a non-profit thing.

My town is fairly backwards in regard to web design and the net so there wouldnt be much interest - well, i doubt it anyway.