Anyone else spending valentines day alone?

[BackInTheGame78]

That's just it, every year lately just seems like a copy of the year before it with just slightly different events transpiring. I might start working with this coach I found online who actually specializes in helping adult men with no dating/relationship experience get out there and turn it around.

You don't need a coach, you simply need to decide that you don't want that life anymore and TAKE ACTION to do something about it.

Action is what matters. Not reading hundreds of things, hiring people to coach you, or spending a bunch of money on whatever else.

None of that will force you to take action if you don't want to. All it will do is give you a bunch of fall back excuses that you are "trying and it's not working" to try and convince yourself it isn't your fault.

Well, I am here to tell you it is 100% your fault and that YOU can 100% do something about it.

Just like the morbidly obese person who becomes more sick of seeing themselves in the mirror everyday looking the way they do than of taking action to change it. The change has to come from within YOU.

Your mindset is toxic to yourself. The first thing you need to work on is that. Your belief system about dating, women and life in general is pretty much complete trash in terms of improving yourself. Your username is "needsimprovement" but I can promise you it will not come with your mentality. There is no improvement in any facet of life that comes from doing nothing other than complaining.

You will change when you become more sick of being alone and by yourself than of doing something about it, and not before.

You may think this is a harsh post and it may be. But the gist of it is that you are responsible for you and what you choose your life to be. Nobody else. And also that you can decide to change for the better if you actually want to badly enough. Honestly, I am not sure you really do tho. All I have seen from your posts is a bunch of whining, throwing your hands up and saying "Woe is me". That will get you nowhere with women or in life.

Wake up, OP.

If you want to change there are plenty of resources and people who will help you here with that, me included. If all you want to do is have an outlet for your whining, I'm not about it.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I hate February, hate Tuesdays, avoid going out to eat, and dislike dinner dates, I'm 100% content to pass up on vday this year.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I got a couple of girls who want me to do valentine's stuff with them like flowers and sex but I said no. I know they want their day of romance but they forget that we're only fwbs. Not my gf.

 

[threeforfree]

At least you aren't this guy.

 

[HaleyBaron]

At least you aren't this guy.

View attachment 9703

I bet the p*ssy isnt even worth it. But he doesn't get much I imagine.

 

[corrector]

The worst valentines day I ever had was the first valentines after my break up in 2013. Today feels great compared to that time. Also the valentines day in 2015 was the first valentines day after I divorced. End up eating a breakfast buffet by myself feeling alone. Feels great that I have no disappointing love memories for the previous year to make today feel crappy.

 

[eli77]

Maybe it was because I grew up in the 90s and had an awesome valentine's day in junior high and not so much in high school and it seems like every day there was a party and late 90s no recession no war no oil spill that was my motto

 

[Murk]

I cooked a 3-course keto meal for 2, merlot from 2016

Today was a good day.

 

[needimprovement250]

How can you afford a coach if you have zero dollars. Also you will likely waste your money. Sorry, but you are a bit late for the party. This is post game territory now. These things just sell false hope as the coach is likely a chad/chadlite if he is successful himself. I was heavily into these things in 2005.

Unless you are willing to put boots to the ground and do the cold approaches at a daygame or head to bars for nightgame then it wont work. At least they are going to end up there. If your life situation is terrible then the outcome is still the same. This makes it a waste of money and time.

When I said that, I meant that I don’t have a regular 9-5 job right now. I have a family member who owns his own business and I work with him a couple of days at a time when he needs an extra hand and he pays me $100 a day. I also do DoorDash and make pretty good money on there too, I am going to school online and that’s why I don’t have a regular job. This coach is also not a PUA and he’s no chad/chadlite, I can post a pic or a link to his site if you wanna see for yourself. He also doesn’t work with only AFC’s like a typical PUA does, he works with women and couples too. He has a background similar to mine and he does more than just help with dating issues. If he was a typical PUA, I would agree with you.

 

[needimprovement250]

You don't need a coach, you simply need to decide that you don't want that life anymore and TAKE ACTION to do something about it.

Action is what matters. Not reading hundreds of things, hiring people to coach you, or spending a bunch of money on whatever else.

None of that will force you to take action if you don't want to. All it will do is give you a bunch of fall back excuses that you are "trying and it's not working" to try and convince yourself it isn't your fault.

Well, I am here to tell you it is 100% your fault and that YOU can 100% do something about it.

Just like the morbidly obese person who becomes more sick of seeing themselves in the mirror everyday looking the way they do than of taking action to change it. The change has to come from within YOU.

Your mindset is toxic to yourself. The first thing you need to work on is that. Your belief system about dating, women and life in general is pretty much complete trash in terms of improving yourself. Your username is "needsimprovement" but I can promise you it will not come with your mentality. There is no improvement in any facet of life that comes from doing nothing other than complaining.

You will change when you become more sick of being alone and by yourself than of doing something about it, and not before.

You may think this is a harsh post and it may be. But the gist of it is that you are responsible for you and what you choose your life to be. Nobody else. And also that you can decide to change for the better if you actually want to badly enough. Honestly, I am not sure you really do tho. All I have seen from your posts is a bunch of whining, throwing your hands up and saying "Woe is me". That will get you nowhere with women or in life.

Wake up, OP.

If you want to change there are plenty of resources and people who will help you here with that, me included. If all you want to do is have an outlet for your whining, I'm not about it.

I have to disagree about the coach thing, I think that this guy in particular could help me. I also do understand that the coaching would have to be combined with putting myself out there, otherwise its completely useless and a waste of money. The fear of being guaranteed nothing but rejection because I’m inexperienced has just paralyzed me from even trying and I’m being completely honest by saying that. But I realize that I’ve been shooting myself in the foot big time by letting that fear get in the way because the alternative, which is to give up without trying only makes it worse since I just let myself get older and then feel even worse about my situation. I do realize that I did this to myself and that me being in the situation I’m in is no one’s fault but my own.

I also haven’t mentioned this on this particular thread, but I have mentioned it to other people on SS before and that’s the fact that I suffer from PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) basically it’s where I have no problem getting it up when looking at porn, but I struggle with getting it up when I’m with real women. This is also my fault since I’ve known that I have had this since 2015 and I still haven’t been able to quit looking at porn. Others on here have said to work on other things in my life in the meantime and what at least a few months or longer to try and date because you need to give yourself a recovery period to cure PIED.

Another problem I have is making excuses for myself to not try because like I said in my first post on this thread, I’m going to the casino to smoke, drink, and gamble for a Valentine’s Day cope. But as I was driving earlier, an ad came on from a local radio station and this radio station is hosting a singles mixer at a Dave & Buster’s location in my area. This particular Dave & Buster’s location is surrounded by hotels and motels in every direction since it’s close by a convention center, but I’m catching my conscience still trying to make excuses to go cope at the casino and not go to the singles event at Dave & Busters. My negative views and consciousness is sabotaging me and I’m starting to see how big of a problem it really is.

 

[needimprovement250]

Just wanted to update the tread with this:

As I was driving earlier, an ad came on from a local radio station and this radio station is hosting a singles mixer at a Dave & Buster’s location in my area tonight. This particular Dave & Buster’s location is surrounded by hotels and motels in every direction since it’s close by a convention center, but I’m catching my conscience still trying to make excuses to go cope at the casino and not go to the singles event at Dave & Busters. My negative views and consciousness is sabotaging me and I’m starting to see how big of a problem it really is. Some of these excuses are: I’m gonna be forced to reveal that I don’t have a regular job and still live at home and its too embarrassing, its too awkward to go to something like that alone, I’m sure no one in my age group is going anyway, I won’t be able to sexually perform even if I did hit it off with a girl there due to my PIED, my parents are gonna see me getting dressed in nicer clothes for the event and start questioning me, there’s gonna be way more men there than women, and that they’re might not even be that many people there anyway.

How do I make this stop? Feel free to reply and say wether I should go to the casino or the event at Dave and Buster’s, but I’m sure everyone will say the latter.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Just wanted to update the tread with this:

As I was driving earlier, an ad came on from a local radio station and this radio station is hosting a singles mixer at a Dave & Buster’s location in my area tonight. This particular Dave & Buster’s location is surrounded by hotels and motels in every direction since it’s close by a convention center, but I’m catching my conscience still trying to make excuses to go cope at the casino and not go to the singles event at Dave & Busters. My negative views and consciousness is sabotaging me and I’m starting to see how big of a problem it really is. Some of these excuses are: I’m gonna be forced to reveal that I don’t have a regular job and still live at home and its too embarrassing, its too awkward to go to something like that alone, I’m sure no one in my age group is going anyway, I won’t be able to sexually perform even if I did hit it off with a girl there due to my PIED, my parents are gonna see me getting dressed in nicer clothes for the event and start questioning me, and that they’re might not even be that many people there anyway.

How do I make this stop? Feel free to reply and say wether I should go to the casino or the event at Dave and Buster’s, but I’m sure everyone will say the latter.

Dave n Busters. U gotta start somewhere. Quitting porn would be great too

 

[member160292]

No plates so hanging out with the ex

 

[SW15]

At least you aren't this guy.

View attachment 9703

What a cuck!

 

[needimprovement250]

Dave n Busters. U gotta start somewhere. Quitting porn would be great too

If I can’t muster up the courage to attend that event at Dave & Buster’s tonight, I’m holding myself accountable by forcing myself to get on one OLD site as a start. I agree, I’ve been wanting to quit porn for so long and it’s always been a struggle for me to stop.

 

[MatureDJ]

Just wanted to update the tread with this:

As I was driving earlier, an ad came on from a local radio station and this radio station is hosting a singles mixer at a Dave & Buster’s location in my area tonight. This particular Dave & Buster’s location is surrounded by hotels and motels in every direction since it’s close by a convention center, but I’m catching my conscience still trying to make excuses to go cope at the casino and not go to the singles event at Dave & Busters. My negative views and consciousness is sabotaging me and I’m starting to see how big of a problem it really is. Some of these excuses are: I’m gonna be forced to reveal that I don’t have a regular job and still live at home and its too embarrassing, its too awkward to go to something like that alone, I’m sure no one in my age group is going anyway, I won’t be able to sexually perform even if I did hit it off with a girl there due to my PIED, my parents are gonna see me getting dressed in nicer clothes for the event and start questioning me, there’s gonna be way more men there than women, and that they’re might not even be that many people there anyway.

How do I make this stop? Feel free to reply and say wether I should go to the casino or the event at Dave and Buster’s, but I’m sure everyone will say the latter.

Go to a strip joint instead.

 

[needimprovement250]

Go to a strip joint instead.

Not a bad idea honestly, if I had an extra couple hundred to blow tonight I probably would.

 

[corrector]

When I said that, I meant that I don’t have a regular 9-5 job right now.

I don't have a regular 9-5 job either and never did. But if you could, you should get one if it's like a blue-color or lower-key job so you can at least meet women like that or maybe meet the office slvt.

I have a family member who owns his own business and I work with him a couple of days at a time when he needs an extra hand and he pays me $100 a day. I also do DoorDash and make pretty good money on there too, I am going to school online and that’s why I don’t have a regular job.

I never had a regular job. I reiterate that I had some limited success in the past and some great memories from the experience. If it did not hold me back then it should not hold you back either. I am probably the only guy who can relate with you because you remind me of how things felt with me in the 00s. Believe me when I say that I had the same issues that you did (and still do and in some cases its even worsened because at least your folks aren't elderly, clingy, and has poop issues. It doesn't get better over time when you live at home because you'll have to do all the chores and take care of your elderly parents until you are too drained to care about anything. Try meeting women in those circumstances).

You should at least have a love-experience and you shouldn't let your issues hold you back from that. If someone loves you, truly loves you, and you and her open up to each other, then the right woman wouldn't care that you live with your parents or don't have a regular job. I wouldn't have a love experience twice if that was true. I even got married in the same circumstances that you have. If it happened to me it can happen to you. Therefore, don't worry about that, especially if you are young and your parents are young enough not to be a burden to you to the point of draining you out.

This coach is also not a PUA and he’s no chad/chadlite, I can post a pic or a link to his site if you wanna see for yourself. He also doesn’t work with only AFC’s like a typical PUA does, he works with women and couples too. He has a background similar to mine and he does more than just help with dating issues. If he was a typical PUA, I would agree with you.

Okay, post a pic or link to his site so I can see for myself. Sounds rather blue-pill like a life-coach. Why not watch youtube videos for free? There is lots of content out there for these things.

 

[corrector]

Just wanted to update the tread with this:

As I was driving earlier, an ad came on from a local radio station and this radio station is hosting a singles mixer at a Dave & Buster’s location in my area tonight. This particular Dave & Buster’s location is surrounded by hotels and motels in every direction since it’s close by a convention center, but I’m catching my conscience still trying to make excuses to go cope at the casino and not go to the singles event at Dave & Busters. My negative views and consciousness is sabotaging me and I’m starting to see how big of a problem it really is. Some of these excuses are: I’m gonna be forced to reveal that I don’t have a regular job and still live at home and its too embarrassing, its too awkward to go to something like that alone, I’m sure no one in my age group is going anyway, I won’t be able to sexually perform even if I did hit it off with a girl there due to my PIED, my parents are gonna see me getting dressed in nicer clothes for the event and start questioning me, there’s gonna be way more men there than women, and that they’re might not even be that many people there anyway.

How do I make this stop? Feel free to reply and say wether I should go to the casino or the event at Dave and Buster’s, but I’m sure everyone will say the latter.

You know there are allot of reasons you have erection issues that has nothing to do with porn. If you don't feel comfortable with a lady, the chemistry may feel off, if you feel insecure about your life circumstances, if you have blood circulation issues, then you'll have a problem. Since you are not meeting women in the first place and your opinions are formed by the precious few women you have met in the past, then perhaps I can suggest your issues are performance anxiety, scarcity mindset, bad chemistry with the woman in question, and just plain nerves. They also have herbals to take care of these issues as a stop-gap and I've used them and I'd recommend them.

 

[needimprovement250]

I don't have a regular 9-5 job either and never did. But if you could, you should get one if it's like a blue-color or lower-key job so you can at least meet women like that or maybe meet the office slvt.



I never had a regular job. I reiterate that I had some limited success in the past and some great memories from the experience. If it did not hold me back then it should not hold you back either. I am probably the only guy who can relate with you because you remind me of how things felt with me in the 00s. Believe me when I say that I had the same issues that you did (and still do and in some cases its even worsened because at least your folks aren't elderly, clingy, and has poop issues. It doesn't get better over time when you live at home because you'll have to do all the chores and take care of your elderly parents until you are too drained to care about anything. Try meeting women in those circumstances).

You should at least have a love-experience and you shouldn't let your issues hold you back from that. If someone loves you, truly loves you, and you and her open up to each other, then the right woman wouldn't care that you live with your parents or don't have a regular job. I wouldn't have a love experience twice if that was true. I even got married in the same circumstances that you have. If it happened to me it can happen to you. Therefore, don't worry about that, especially if you are young and your parents are young enough not to be a burden to you to the point of draining you out.



Okay, post a pic or link to his site so I can see for myself. Sounds rather blue-pill like a life-coach. Why not watch youtube videos for free? There is lots of content out there for these things.

That's actually a good point. For the longest time, I've thought that I need to have X Y and Z (my own place, a big social circle, and a career) in order to even be eligible to date a woman. But from what you're telling me, that doesn't have to be the case because if there's enough chemistry, they will be willing to look past where you're currently at in your life. At my last regular job, I actually worked with a few guys who were still pulling women even though they all lived in a car together and they would also motel hop whenever they had the money to do that. I kind of had a job like what you're describing from 2020-2021 but it was during the height of the pandemic and all of the social distancing stuff that they made us do made interacting with any women that worked there more difficult than it otherwise would've been.

I think you were the one on here who told me about moving out while my parents are still in good health awhile back and I do agree with that. Because if their health does start to deteriorate while I'm still living here, I'm pretty much gonna be obligated to keep living here to take care of them since they've let me live in their house rent free this whole time. That's not saying that I would turn my back on them if anything like that happened, but that it would be so much worse if I'm still living with them once that would start to happen and there's way less of a possibility to meet women when you have to be a caretaker for your parents. Also in the case of my parents, they already are pretty clingy and hover over me a lot right now. Most of the time, I can't put on my shoes or grab my keys without them asking where I'm going and what I'll be doing and if I slip out of the house without them noticing, they usually call or text to see what I went out to do. I also can't be in my room or out in the backyard for more than 10 minutes before they come to see what I'm doing. And if I'm on my phone or computer, my mom will also deliberately walk behind me while I'm seated too look at my screen and see what I'm looking at on my computer or phone. She was also trying to push me to share my phone's location with her so that she can see where I am at any given time, something I have refused to do. This has made living at home extremely annoying for me and this behavior will probably only get worse as they get older.

Here's the link to that coach's site. He actually does have a lot of free material on YouTube since he has his own channel on there as well, working with him just means signing up for 1 on 1 sessions with him. For all new clients, he does a 1 hour session with them for free so at the very least, I feel like I should do the free 1 hour session since I have nothing to lose by doing that and I can see wether or not this guy really could help me or not without having to invest any money. Also, I wouldn't buy one of his coaching packages if I wanted to keep working with him. I would do the pay as you go option.
https://www.franktalks.com/