Anyone else have a problem with 'Action Dates'??

[englishcrap]

Remember women are emotional roller coasters so anything that can get her emotions going is good.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by englishcrap
Remember women are emotional roller coasters so anything that can get her emotions going is good.

This is very true. They seem to crave it. It's probably why they have so much drama in their lives.

 

[MetalFortress]

Laser tag is another good one. I didn't see that listed, but I might have just missed it.

 

[aftershock]

Laser tag is an excellent idea.

Theme parks are good. The only drawback is the cost.

Going for a walk is another idea.

 

[napoleon]

What about tennis,squash, or badminton-even though I can't play, it would be fun, wouldn't it?

 

[tx_interface]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I wish that more women that I go out with would be more inclined to join me on 60 mile bike rides...

You keep riding 60 miles and you will go impotent. It can and has happened but I'm sure you already know this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by tx_interface
You keep riding 60 miles and you will go impotent. It can and has happened but I'm sure you already know this.

Well, I'm not rushing to have any children but I do use special seats to alleviate undue pressure in that special place.

 

[arutha]

So movies aren't good the first time because you are focusing on that instead of getting to know each other, yet go-karting is fine?

I don't know about you but when I'm flying around the track with the engines going, helmet on and all that other stuff there is very little chance to talk, not even drop a comment along the way like you can in a movie. Even when not in the cart it is pretty hard to hear and harder to make eye contact with the helmet on.

 

[nonstop]

women are attracted to men when men are doing action things.

you're not doing what every other guys does.

and you can find out if she likes the things you like.

plus it will get her heart racing, it will be fun and she'll talk about it with everyone for days after. You'll be on her mind.

also you'll be having fun!

the movies are a little AFC for a first date in my opinion.

it's just too over done, everyone does it.

it's too predicable like you haven't thought about the date.

women like things that are... new and exciting, new and exciting, they like drama and surprises.

you don't have to go go-carting, there is loads of stuff you could do.

 

[arutha]

How about a live comedy show? Not exactly action, and kinda similar to movie yet not, but more expensive. They are mostly around tables not in rows like movies too btw.

 

[flyinshark]

Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by swampwiz
I've taken about 20 different women on 1st (or near 1st) dates bowling. It's available *anywhere*, and in perfect air-conditioned climate. The rhythm of bowling is such that you get to do some action, but you can take a break at any time and do convo. You can do a little kino showing her how to bowl. And at the end of an hour, you can hang around at a table having a few drinks.

You can spend a lot of time carefully checking her figure as she walks over and back from the lane. And when she throws the dead balls (i.e., when she doesn't release the ball properly and it drops down from a high altitude - *crunch*) or a gutter ball, she usually thinks it's funny, and at least feels that she is not perfect (thereby knocking her guard down a bit.) And if you get lucky and hit a few strikes, you look someone who knows how what to do.

It is recommended that you be a fairly decent bowler, of course. You don't want to look like a fool.

Good points there. Bowling allows you to check the girl's body for a longer time than normally, indeed. Kino is easy. Her misses that bring her defenses down, that's also true. Good stuff.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by flyinshark
Good points there. Bowling allows you to check the girl's body for a longer time than normally, indeed. Kino is easy. Her misses that bring her defenses down, that's also true. Good stuff.

I'm just an @sshole. I'm sitting down with a woman on a coffee date and I will tell her to stand up so I could take a good look at her. Why hide my interest? Hell, I've checked the snugness of their jeans. I tell them that I wanted to make sure that they were as fit as they looked and wasn't stuffing themselves into a pair of jeans 2 sizes too small. I don't do this with every woman I'm out with but I do let them know that I enjoy looking at them.

 

[al77]

Re: Re: Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I'm sitting down with a woman on a coffee date and I will tell her to stand up so I could take a good look at her. Why hide my interest?

You know that this works with some women quite good: they see you are confident! But some women would not get it..lets assume your confidence is not the biggest turn on for her. How would you feel if she ask you to stand up demonstrate her you biggest muscles since she wants to date not slender guys...?

It is not about hiding your interest, it is about not putting her into position she doesnt want to be in. Besides - you will have opportunities to see her body anyway. Why to make her feel uncomfortable?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by al77
You know that this works with some women quite good: they see you are confident! But some women would not get it..lets assume your confidence is not the biggest turn on for her. How would you feel if she ask you to stand up demonstrate her you biggest muscles since she wants to date not slender guys...?

It is not about hiding your interest, it is about not putting her into position she doesnt want to be in. Besides - you will have opportunities to see her body anyway. Why to make her feel uncomfortable?

That's a good point and I don't do it with all women. However, with women that are confident and work out regularly, I never have a problem doing this. I usually give them a neg-hit by telling them that they make the outfit that they are wearing look good. It comes off as me voicing my appreciation for their hard work.

Your example of them not wanting to date slender guys would never come up on the date, here's why. I already know that she likes slender guys! This was part of my qualifying her before we meet. I don't leave this type of thing to chance. Why waste either of our times by not having the basic character traits that either one of us are looking for?

 

[al77]

Re: Re: Anyone else have a problem with 'Action Dates'??

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
You need to learn and understanded the importance of rapport. Without it you will have a hard time not only with your appoaches and #closes, but also with setting up activities.

..and DrDope:
You are are absolutely right: rapport, IL! She should like you... the rest is not very important.

I am thinking that her "I like you" depends mostly on somehting that we cannot affect much: looks, the way you speak... dont really matter what you say...

Do you guys call it "chemistry"? Or insist it is a rapport that we have to create by words/body language etc?

 

[al77]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
That's a good point and I don't do it with all women. However, with women that are confident and work out regularly, I never have a problem doing this. I usually give them a neg-hit by telling them that they make the outfit that they are wearing look good. It comes off as me voicing my appreciation for their hard work.

Your example of them not wanting to date slender guys would never come up on the date, here's why. I already know that she likes slender guys! This was part of my qualifying her before we meet. I don't leave this type of thing to chance. Why waste either of our times by not having the basic character traits that either one of us are looking for?

Yes, probably with confident women it will be a good move. Maybe they even want it: what they are working out for?


I am really interested in how you actually do qualifing (email): it seems you are really-really good at it.
How do you figire out what guys she likes?
What do you ask her in general? Do you have like a set of questions you usually ask her?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yes, bowling

Originally posted by al77
...I am really interested in how you actually do qualifing (email): it seems you are really-really good at it.
How do you figire out what guys she likes?
What do you ask her in general? Do you have like a set of questions you usually ask her?

THAT is NOT qualifying. YOU are supposed to qualify HER! It's like buying a car; would you buy any car just because a salesman says that you should? What if it doesn't fit your needs? Would you still buy it?

You need to make sure a woman fits YOUR needs before exerting any effort on her. Only then you start reading into what she is looking for. If it's not completely skrewed up, contact her and have her elaborate about what type of woman she is. That's how you determine if she's worth meeting.

Once the two of you decide to meet, you finish continue to qualify her with your specifications. This would include looks and how the two of you interact together; face to face. Subsequent action dates can help emensely with this.

For years I've used Doc Love's System to help qualify women.

 

[suave4sure]

It's very simple

You take her on a rapport date first so you already have somewhat of a connection. That way she'll enjoy the action date more.

If you were at an amusement park think about how much fun you'd have on a rollercoaster or other ride if you had to ride with a stranger or someone you barely knew.

Now picture riding with a girl you really like or one of your good friends. The unspoken knowing going on between you and said person increases the fun.

Same thing with mini golf. Playing with a friend or a girl you like or have connected with on one or two dates is much better than what they do in real golf which is pair you up with a random stranger(obviously its not a stranger in real golf).

So to sum up you need to build the rapport during the first and possibly second dates because the action date helps immensely after that point. Action dates work much better after some form of connection has been established.

Then instead of having to do it you're going through it with someone you like.

Big difference psychologicaly.

That's why i'd vouch for action dates after a date or two.

 

[Triple X]

Now that makes a helluva lot more sense.

A lot of ppl on here seem to be against the 'getting to know each other' type dates, saying it won't separate you from all the other chumps out there who do the same thing (Bars/Cafe dates etc).

But I disagree - I think it is vital to establish some form of connection first before you attempt the action date thing. I mean Christ - you might not even like each other! Then what??

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Triple X
OK so I'm still a fairly new poster here and with this and my last post (whining about cold approaches).. it could be easily perceived that I have a strong disliking for the ideas on this site.

Not at all! I love most of the stuff on here, but lately all I seem to be talking about is the things I have a problem with. But just to clarify, I love this site really. Anyway.. onwards...

What I'm talking about here is the concept of 'Action Dates'. We've all heard the schpiel about 'do action dates, not boring stuff... blah blah... you'll be the one in control... blah blah... man's stuff... etc".

But does anyone else have a problem with the idea? I mean it sounds great in theory, taking a girl out on an exciting action-packed date full of adventures, thrills (!) etc..

But when it comes down to it?? How do you go about it?

For example let's suppose you have managed to get this hottie's #. So you call her up (couple of days later of course), and the conversation goes like this.

"Hey! What's up! ... blah blah.... so I was thinking, lets go GO-KARTING tomorrow!!"



Now as far as I can see most women are gonna be like... W...T...F... er, yeah, maybe I'll get back to you on that one!! (or not). You with me??

I can see the thinking behind the action dates... but some of the suggestions have ranged from bowling and go-karting, to parachute jumping, and even ROCK-CLIMBING!!! I mean for the love of Christ, please!?!

Me personally I like going to the cinema, to bars and restaurants etc.. it might be corny and old-fashioned but f*** it, its what I like to do with a woman!!

I fail to see how any new girl you just met is gonna want to do any of this stuff. But I mean dammit, even POOK emphasized the importance of action dates. So they've gotta be a good thing, right?!

I'm not here just to b*tch and moan.. I just need a bit more clarification on how to go about action dates. And which ones are best to choose. Comments are welcome.

I've taken girls climbing before...they seem to enjoy it. And I've even had women SUGGEST stuff like go-karting to me.

The idea is that unless you're just Mr Bust-Out Personality and can blow her away with casual conversation, then dinner-and-a-movie doesn't stand out much from any other date and can give a ho-hum feeling.

Just vary it up a bit. That's all. Don't be a "cookie-cutter" date.