Anyone else have a problem with 'Action Dates'??

[Triple X]

OK so I'm still a fairly new poster here and with this and my last post (whining about cold approaches).. it could be easily perceived that I have a strong disliking for the ideas on this site.

Not at all! I love most of the stuff on here, but lately all I seem to be talking about is the things I have a problem with. But just to clarify, I love this site really. Anyway.. onwards...

What I'm talking about here is the concept of 'Action Dates'. We've all heard the schpiel about 'do action dates, not boring stuff... blah blah... you'll be the one in control... blah blah... man's stuff... etc".

But does anyone else have a problem with the idea? I mean it sounds great in theory, taking a girl out on an exciting action-packed date full of adventures, thrills (!) etc..

But when it comes down to it?? How do you go about it?

For example let's suppose you have managed to get this hottie's #. So you call her up (couple of days later of course), and the conversation goes like this.

"Hey! What's up! ... blah blah.... so I was thinking, lets go GO-KARTING tomorrow!!"



Now as far as I can see most women are gonna be like... W...T...F... er, yeah, maybe I'll get back to you on that one!! (or not). You with me??

I can see the thinking behind the action dates... but some of the suggestions have ranged from bowling and go-karting, to parachute jumping, and even ROCK-CLIMBING!!! I mean for the love of Christ, please!?!

Me personally I like going to the cinema, to bars and restaurants etc.. it might be corny and old-fashioned but f*** it, its what I like to do with a woman!!

I fail to see how any new girl you just met is gonna want to do any of this stuff. But I mean dammit, even POOK emphasized the importance of action dates. So they've gotta be a good thing, right?!

I'm not here just to b*tch and moan.. I just need a bit more clarification on how to go about action dates. And which ones are best to choose. Comments are welcome.

 

[nonstop]

I believe ice staking to be a good action date, it's fun, you can fall over, hold her hand and have a laugh which gets her heart beating.

The cinema is boring and predictable, you can sit there for 2 hours not getting to know the other person. Then you go home.
hardly the most exciting evening, and makes you look like every other guy out there.

the idea is to be original and unique.

if she doesn't want to go-karting with you then maybe her interest level isn't high enough or maybe she isn't the right girl for you, let her goto the cinema with another afc clone and have a boring evening with him while you find a girl who's into the same fun things you are.

 

[Triple X]

Hmm... yeah maybe but I'm crap at ice skating.

And go-karting sucks.

Any other ideas??

 

[nonstop]

come on man you're supposed to be a DJ

try a search

Hi. Add the following link to your bookmarks and use it before asking a question that has probably been answered about a billion times before.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?s=

Everybody gets a freebie, so here's yours:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by diablo
1) Do you like to cook? Cook for her.
2) Rent a video from Blockbuster.
3) Take a walk at the park or beach.
4) Volunteer at a shelter for the homeless, or an orphanage.
5) Go fishing at the pier.
6) Go hiking in the boonies.
7) Rollerblading or Biking.
8) Breakfast. Brunch. Lunch. Dinner.
9) Movies (only after 2nd date) or live concert or performing arts.
10) Go to museums.
11) Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Universal Studio, Knott Berry Farm, etc...
12) Skiing, boat ride.
13) Dinner cruises.
14) Go for a drink at a pub.
15) Dancing/clubbing.
16) Karaoke/singing.
17) Coffee houses, or tea.
18) Watch the sundown/sunup, look at the stars and moon.
19) Carriage ride.
20) Limo cruise out in the town.
21) Balloon ride over the blue yonder.
22) A good chat.
23) Window shopping or shopping at the mall.
25) Massage parlor.
26) Go to a friend's party.
27) Any circus in town. Ringling Brothers.
28) Watch for festivals like: Jazz, Chili, Reggae, international dance festivals.
29) Go to swap meets.
30) Like animals? Go to the zoo or Seaworld.
31) Baseball, Football, Basketball or any sporting events.
32) Watch fireworks.
33) Go-carts.
34) Miniature golfing.
35) Kayaking.
36) Go to the border to eat lobsters.
37) Watch race car drivers or monster truck shows.
38) Wrestling, or is it too hard for you?
39) How about gambling? Go to casinos.
40) Batting cages.
41) Del Mar fairground.
42) Horse back riding.
43) Wine tasting at Vineyard.
44) Did I say sailing yet?
45) Go to the mountains when it snows.
46) Day at the country to pick fruits.
47) Picnic at the park or wherever scenic.
48) Go to botanical gardens; see flowers.
49) Like arcades? Go to Nickel City.
50) Yoga/Meditation.

Taken from http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall168.htm


1. AMUSEMENT PARKS - This really makes for a fun date, especially if you both enjoy thrill-seeking rides such as roller coasters, etc. Also, don't forget to try and win her a teddy bear or other keepsake.

2. BALLOON RIDES - I am referring to hot-air balloon rides. This is a breath-taking experience you both will never forget. It's very romantic and some rides even come with champagne.

3. BOAT RENTAL - This makes for a unique experience and it's so relaxing and enjoyable. You can charter a boat with captain and crew or rent a powerboat for skiing, fishing, or just for cruising.

4. CAMPING - What a great way to enjoy the great outdoors! Things really get cozy and romantic sitting in front of an open fire! This is sure to melt her heart and make her want to share your sleeping bar.

5. CARRIAGE RIDES - This is one of the ultimate romantic experiences. Just you and your lover or date in a horse-drawn carriage enjoying the scenery.

6. DINNER AT YOUR PLACE - One of my favorite things to do is to invite a lady over for a candlelight steak dinner and champagne. I do all the cooking and wait on my date hand and foot. I really make my date feel special. So, if you really want to make someone feel special and have a romantic evening, do this for a very special date.

7. DINNER THEATRE - There's nothing like good entertainment while you're eating. Your date will really be impressed and this is one of my top choices to take a date to.

8. GO-CARTS - These are a lot of fun for adults too. Why not challenge your date to a race around the track.

9. HAY RIDES - Have you ever been on a hayride? It's a lot of fun and something very different to do.

10. HELICOPTER RIDES - This was one of the most exciting dates I ever went on. My date and I took a helicopter tour of downtown San Diego and the Shoreline. I was especially fascinated flying over the skyscrapers and looking down on them. This will be an expensive date, because to charter a helicopter can cost you up to $500 an hour. If you can afford it, it's worth the money just for the experience.

11. HORSE RACES OR DOG RACES - Here's another fun activity you can both share and make some money too, if you are lucky.

12. ICE SKATING - Don't know how to skate? No problem, It's a lot of fun just learning. Sure, you're going to take a few spills on the ice. It's all part of the fun! This is great place to go on a date even if you don't know how to ice skate. You can always take lessons, too.

13. JET SKIS - This is like riding a motorcycle on the water and your date can ride on the back. Take my word for it, this is the ultimate joy ride while having some great fun on the water. You can rent them for about $20 for a half-hour.

14. KITE FLYING - Stop by any toy store and pick up a kite and go on a kite date. Head for your local park, beach, or any wide-open space. Kites are not just for kids. It's a fun experience for all ages and it's kind of romantic. So, get your date and go fly a kite.

15. LIMOUSINE DATE - When you want to tell someone they're special, what better way to do it than with the unexpected. Sending flowers is nice, but sending flowers with a limousine is unforgettable. This is a great way to let dancers know they are real special to you.

16. LIVE MUSIC - This will put you and your date in a good mood, especially if the band is good. Check out your area for places that offer live music. Take her to Rock Concerts too.

17. MOONLIGHT STROLLS - When there's a full moon and clear skies, head for any lake or seashore. It's so romantic to take your shoes off and wade along the shore with the full moon gleaming on the water

Taken from http://www.sosuave.com/articles/17.htm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[Mr.De Beer]

One of my favourites is to go bowling. You learn alot of ones personality with character sports like bowling. And if you suck/she sucks, youle have something to laugh about. And if your good at it, and she sucks, you can show...her the technique...(if you know what im getting at) Always nice to get a coffee afterwards aswell. Think about it. Try it. The primary reason on a date is to have fun.
good luck

 

[Triple X]

Originally posted by nonstop
come on man you're supposed to be a DJ

try a search

Well actually I'm a RAFC, but thanks anyways for the list.

And yeah Mr De Beer (great name! ) bowling is probably the most realistic action date that I could do. So thx again

 

[DrDope]

Triple X, a girl will not reject you based on what you are going to do on the date. If she is interested in you, she will go clean out horse stables with you. So don't put too much pressure on picking something to please her. THe important thing is that she is with you.

Half the time, I don't even tell her what we're going to do. They like the surprise and the mystery.

And you play billiards, right? That's the easiest action date. Compete over a series of dates in the indoor bar Pentathalon of pool, darts, shuffleboard, pop a shot, and skee ball. Cheesy, but girls love it.

Rock climbing and skydiving aren't for everyone.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Triple X
...
I fail to see how any new girl you just met is gonna want to do any of this stuff. But I mean dammit, even POOK emphasized the importance of action dates. So they've gotta be a good thing, right?!...

You need to learn and understanded the importance of rapport. Without it you will have a hard time not only with your appoaches and #closes, but also with setting up activities.

 

[onyx]

triple X i can feel what you saying. It doesn't feel like the norm to go Go-karting on a first date. It might do in america but not in england.

I usually go play pool and 7 ball there asses hahahaah..nah, but I usually go play pool, either in a bar or at a pool club.

It can depend though, I guess if you already know shes into go karting or horse back riding you could go on the 1st date, and it would be easy to suggest

 

[DrDope]

Go karting is a universal winner. Just make it seem spontaneous. "And now, we race..." or "Now I will dominate you on the race track..."

 

[Sp1kez]

You are not getting the point.

The point is that if she IS interested in youn then she will not care where the date is or what you guys do!

 

[flyinshark]

I am in favor of action dates. They are usually MUCH less stressing, for those a bit nervous when dating. And if you, the guy, are not nervous, maybe the girl is. So it can help her be herself, allowing you to judge her better and click more with her.

There most probably won't be any of those awkward moments when no one knows what to say, because you are both busy with an activity. Yet, you can still talk quite a lot and establish raport.

In a "dinner date" you are forced to make almost continuous conversation and one of the two risks feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable. In an action date, you can choose the amount and flow of the conversation. And having the choice is always a good thing.

 

[Finch]

I think it's also very important that you be comfortable with what you're doing. If you're put in a situation where you don't really know what you're doing then you're not going to exude as much confidence as you would normally.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by DrDope
If she is interested in you, she will go clean out horse stables with you.

exactly.

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by DrDope
Triple X, a girl will not reject you based on what you are going to do on the date. If she is interested in you, she will go clean out horse stables with you. So don't put too much pressure on picking something to please her. THe important thing is that she is with you.

True. Once I had a girl going to the supermarket with me, to buy things for my house.

Hahah, what a date...

Yeah, we made out later.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Sp1kez
You are not getting the point.

The point is that if she IS interested in youn then she will not care where the date is or what you guys do!

I wish that more women that I go out with would be more inclined to join me on 60 mile bike rides...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by djbr
True. Once I had a girl going to the supermarket with me, to buy things for my house.

Hahah, what a date...

Yeah, we made out later.

Don't laugh, I've done that tons of times...

 

[Slickster]

I rarely post on the main forum anymore but I really liked the way you've gone about asking for advice. Very refreshing.

The previous posters have given some great advice. Especially Nonstop. Good work guys.

TripleX just remember that all of these "action" dates don't have to be heart racing, thrilling, adventures all the time. I've taken dates to the beach just to throw a frisbee around, and had a great time.

Dinner and movies are fine and nice too but they aren't nearly as memorable and fun. You're trying to stand out and be different.

Originally posted by Triple X
But when it comes down to it?? How do you go about it?

For example let's suppose you have managed to get this hottie's #. So you call her up (couple of days later of course), and the conversation goes like this.

"Hey! What's up! ... blah blah.... so I was thinking, lets go GO-KARTING tomorrow!!"



Now as far as I can see most women are gonna be like... W...T...F... er, yeah, maybe I'll get back to you on that one!! (or not). You with me??

Here's something simple to try. Instead of "asking" her out on a crazy action date, try going about this way.

"Hey! What's up?....Blah Blah... So I'm going to XYZ tomorrow afternoon to do _______. Its going to be a blast why don't you come along?"

When you ask in this way you're not "really" asking at all. She believes that you'd be going with or without her anyway. You're going to be having a great time and you just whole heartedly want to share the fun. If she declines, you just happily reply with a "Okay, maybe some other time." Then you just go happily along your way. You don't feel the sting of rejection because its her loss. You won't feel badly because you were honestly just trying to share some fun.

Also when you use the words "WHY don't you come along?" instead of "Do you WANT to come along" you are actually demanding rather than asking. It also makes it more difficult for her to simply say "yes" or "no". She has to come up with a reason "why" or "why not".

Just a simple tip that may get a chick whose not really sure about you, on a fun date where you can show her how much fun it is to be with a guy like you.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

woah, good advice slick. Im gonna use that line

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Don't laugh, I've done that tons of times...

No laughing! it was great!