Turning 32 in a couple of months and it’s starting to kick in that my chances of ever finding “the one” are diminishing bit by bit. I have done so much work on myself these last couple of years after my big break up to get to a place where I’m ready to truly date. I’ve lost a heap of weight, discovered hobbies, good job, worked on my mental and physical health along with my spirituality and it’s made no difference. I’ve been doing OLD for the past few months, and have met some people and there was probably about two I thought I was compatiable with, great connections and a lot of attraction, same long term goals and great dates/sex and I thought I may have struck victory, only to be disappointed and blown up in my face that we are not in fact as compatiable as I thought due to various things. It’s reaffirmed to me all over again why I shouldn’t get involved with people and put myself out there because I only end up getting burnt time and time again and I’m completely over it. There’s only so much heart break one can take.
It’s got to the stage now where I’m just starting to accept that I do better in life when I’m single and doing my own thing with no distractions that I don’t even want to entertain the thought of ever dating again. I guess you could say after so many years of dating, rejections, horrible break ups, putting my heart on my sleeve that I’m just feeling jaded and cynical with it all now that I just don’t trust people anymore and I don’t have the energy to keep putting myself out there, hoping to meet the one just to be let down time and time again.
I know I’m still young and it’s premature to think like this but I just can’t see it ever happening for me, my fairy tale ending. Some people are just destined to be single and that’s how it is. The thought of going on dates again and trying to build connections with people sounds so exhausting and I can’t be bothered which I know indicates I need to take a break from it all but I don’t know if I’ll ever find that enthusiasm and determination that I once had to seek that out again. Once bitten, twice why I guess you could say.
I guess I needed to vent and let this out but I am wondering if anyone else feels the same and is completely done with the whole thing ?