Any tips for a first date from a dating site?

[Eternal_water]

I know a few guys who have had some success with online dating. Its always seemed like an impossible task, millions of guys sending 50 messages a day. Just seems like websites where women can get instant ego boosts (without giving anything back) but I thought I'd give it a fair shout and try it out just to see for myself one way or the other.

Well I've been messaging back and forth with this woman and have set up a first date tomorrow (assuming she shows). Nothing crazy, just meeting at a bar for a drink.

I don't get many dates so I'm no expert at them and obviously off the dates I have had, all of them have been with someone I have at least met prior to the date. Clearly this will be the first time I've met her in person which I have never done before so I will be a bit more nervous than on the other ones given we have not built anything up in face to face conversation before.
I don't know how awkward this will be.

Anyone got any useful tips/advice for me?

(I'm also messaging another girl back and forth. This one visited and "liked" my profile first. But its difficult because this other one has nothing interesting on her profile for me to work with).

 

[Bingo-Player]

keep it to a max of 2 hours - unless you sense she's DTF in which case after 2 hours take her home and fvck her

make sure you split rounds or at the very least she offers to buy one of them

keep conversation neutral and fun , don't go into depth about how you walked into your last ex girlfriend fvcking the milkman or whatever

try and get some physical contact with her , can be difficult on a first date but will make you stand out from the others

once the date is over you wait for her to contact you , if she doesn't never speak to her again because if you do you'll be going down a slippery slope

hope you get lucky ......

 

[marmel75]

Be aggressive. Escalate. These chicks want to fvck.

 

[Eternal_water]

Thanks for the tips everyone. @Espi Would you advise going casual or smart casual?

 

[Konada]

In my opinion it depends on the time of day and the place.

I have several "high-end" type places in my area that I like to meet them. No food...just a drink or two. Happy Hour=drinks on the cheap.

I avoid places where I expect crowds. The upper-end places are usually sparsely populated during weekdays.

Maintain a professional, polite distance from the bartender and patrons. Even the female ones. You do NOT want the anybody barging in on your conversation/c0ckblocking you.

My general rule of thumb:

Before 8 pm: "Business professional." I like to schedule these initial drinkdates between 6-7 pm (i.e. right after work). No tie or suit jacket...but dress slacks/dress shoes/dress shirt. Sleeves rolled to show watch is highly recommended. I advocate this type of dress because I want to look like a guy who's just done corporate battle...hardworking, professional, and important.

After 8 pm or anytime weekends: "Rugged casual." To me this means jeans, long sleeve dresshirt tucked in w/sleeves rolled...watch...

If you're built, go with a tight-ish fitting short sleeve shirt, but tucked in.

No shorts, khakis, or t-shirts (my opinion).

Absolutely. Everytime there's a queue I get blown the fvck out fast as its something everyone hates to endure. AVOID QUEUING AT ALL COSTS. Find a venue where you can get seats comfortably, it shows you have put some effort into finding a good date location.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'll keep it concise.

-Grab her number within 2-3 exchanges on the site.
-Get her on the phone for 10-15 minutes to establish some rapport to see if she's even worth meeting
-end the conversation first, shoot her a text with a definite time and place.
-Drinks only, keep the date to 1 hour max.
-Speak less than she does. Ask her the questions. Don't think about 80/20, just make sure you're talking less than she is.
-Don't touch her unless she touches you first
-Go for the kiss on the lips, even if she starts turning away. Make her reject you.
-Do NOT text her when you get home. Wait at least 4 days before initiating contact. If you peaked her interest, she will contact you before then.

 

[guru1000]

Make her reject you.

If one were to describe the operandi in how to truly not give a fvck, here it is.

If you begin with this motivation, you surrender all expectations and outcome dependence. Dare her to reject you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you begin with this motivation, you surrender all expectations and outcome dependence. Dare her to reject you.

This is the key to success in life. Game, business, and sales. You have to get past the "no" to get to the "yes." No one will give us any more than we are willing to take. Women want to be led. They need to be led.

It took me months of applying the game to fully embrace rejection. More rejections inevitably lead to me getting more lays.

 

[Fireballs]

I agree with Espi about getting there a little early and picking the seats.. I think that's very important..

Also in my opinion kino is a MUST. My favourite way of starting kino is to say something like ''Oh by the way, I don't think I've told you this but I'm a thumb wrestle world champion..never defeated'' Then proceed to challenge her to a duel..(and obviously cheat to win)..

All in all it's about not taking yourself too seriously and having fun.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Expect her to be a minimum of 20 pounds fatter than the skinniest pic she sent to you. Act like you don't notice if you want to fvck her.

 

[Eternal_water]

Thanks for all the above advice guys. Half an hour before the date she sent a text saying she suddenly realised she didn't want to meet up. No contact initiated.

I've got a date set up with the other girl I mentioned, unfortunately due to working and time constraints its a week away. Would you keep messaging her in the weeks wait or not? I'm thinking not. But what about the day before?

 

[VladPatton]

My advice:

Arrive a few minutes early, pick 2 seats at the bar...away from others.

Don't order any drinks until she arrives.

When she arrives: stand, smile, make eye contact, and give her a light hug and tell her she looks gorgeous. Do NOT accept a handshake. Pull out her chair, wait until she sits, then you sit and ask what she'd like to drink.

Listen 80% and speak 20%. In my opinion no need for kino, c0cky-funny, negs, etc. LISTENING is key in my opinion.

Pace your first drink but observe the rate at which she consumes alcohol. Give it one hour. If she's real slow in nursing hers/refuses a second drink, end the date after an hour by saying, "You ready to go?"

Regardless of how well the date is going, end the date after 90 mins. Only exception is if she orders a third drink, which in my opinion means you might get laid that night.

Walk her to her car and don't stall the kiss with smalltalk. As soon as she arrives at her car, find out if she's kissable. Then get going...because you've got other things to do.

Also, do NOT make arrangements for a second date whilst still on the first date, and do NOT text her when you get home.

^^^This right here...is all you need to know. Sound advice that has been posted in this site thousands of times.

 

[ubercat]

All good advice but I am curious why not order a drink until she gets there? Is this because of the whole drink spiking risk? Ie they will be more comfortable if they see it come out of the bottle?

I'm a kiwi so part of my making a date spiel is to say there is a New Zealand wine that s as cheeky as you I think you would get along. And then I have a glass waiting for them.

Oh and one tip if you're going to talk to anyone while you're waiting talk to the bartenders. Don't talk to other guys at the bar I've had them try and **** block me when the girl turns up

 

[marmel75]

Basically all you need to do is the following to succeed on first dates:

Be relaxed and cool...lean back and don't let anything bother you...once they see you are relaxed, they will relax, which is a really good thing.

Kino...early and often in a non desperate way...jewelry, earrings, bracelets, tattoos, necklaces, watches, hair coloring/highlights all give you opportunity to touch...use it

Escalate in date. Kiss, and when they really get into it, grab their hair a little and pull their head to the side...most love this display of dominance

Be interesting...no religion, no politics, no sports...

Make sure they know you aren't going to be walking on eggshells around them...bust on them a little, tease them, etc...all in a joking manner...

If you follow these simple things you will be getting laid by more women than you know what to do with.

 

[Eternal_water]

This one didn't turn up either, didn't even send a message, just silence.
There is something to the art of getting a girlfriend that I'll never figure out and every other guy on the planet figured out in school.

 

[Eternal_water]

The newbie who risks rejection is FAR more valuable than guys who sit behind their keyboard and advise others on how to succeed.

Now there's a motivating quote.

Yeah, she no-showed. The last contact was about 6 days before the date. When arranging a time and place, I suggested a day and she said she was already busy on that day but said she was free later in the week. I asked what days she was free and she asked If I was free on Wednesday. I then said a time and a place, she said yes, see you there.

That was the last I heard of her, I sent the message you suggested about still being on at the time and place but she hasn't been online for several days and never turned up.