Any of you prefer staying single/casual dating?

[MoreThanSmooth]

I know this is somewhat antithetical to the DJ philosophy and maybe I'm just getting too cynical for my own good...but I've realised recently that I don't really give a f*ck about dating. Or even sex, if I'm honest. I don't really care much about it.

Feels like the amount of faffing about, dealing with crazy chicks, dealing with flakes, dealing with time wasting attention-seekers, dealing with low value girls I'm not that interested in anyway...it's all just kind of bullsh*t and I feel happier when I'm not doing it.

Any time in the last 6 months that I've started getting involved with anyone, within a week or two I immediately can't wait to drop it and be single again. I'd legitimately rather be watching TV, working out or doing something artistic rather than hitting on someone who's clingy/needy/boring just because they're somewhat attractive.

I don't know, maybe I'm just at a time in my life where I want to put self-improvement above dating/sex, but I'm almost not seeing the attraction of bothering with it anymore. I put in hours of nonsense with someone for...well, getting my d*ck wet every now and then? What a waste.

It's more fun doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it, and I'm happy trading not having sex for that. Maybe that's my DJ realisation?

 

[Misterchaos]

I think most prefer casual dating vs LTR. Just have fun. I am learning to just enjoy it for what it is: flakiness, neediness, emotional mood swings, all of it. This may sound sexist or misogynistic but I honestly don't take it seriously anymore just fun. If I stumble across something worth LTR then fine but I'm not flipping rocks stressing myself out trying to find it.

 

[Alvafe]

yeah I prefer to stay single, be free and do wht I want when I want with who I want, i'm not really looking for anything serious so I just have fun, and date someone for some time IF I feel like it.

but serious if you are sure you are ok without sex and don't even waste time with porn, then dude just take this moment to get better on something you belive will help you get better, not distration, so pretty much a nice time to invest everything, be it a school or a bussiness

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Can't really relate unfortunately but I think you are in a great situation

I hope so. Though my mindset is somewhat cynical.

but serious if you are sure you are ok without sex and don't even waste time with porn, then dude just take this moment to get better on something you belive will help you get better, not distration, so pretty much a nice time to invest everything, be it a school or a bussiness

100% no f*cks given about it here. I think you are right - I will focus completely on getting my life as perfect as I can. Sleeping right, eating right, working out, doing my job to the best of my ability.

Because without dating at the moment, I'm free.

 

[flowtheory]

I know this is somewhat antithetical to the DJ philosophy and maybe I'm just getting too cynical for my own good...but I've realised recently that I don't really give a f*ck about dating. Or even sex, if I'm honest. I don't really care much about it.

Feels like the amount of faffing about, dealing with crazy chicks, dealing with flakes, dealing with time wasting attention-seekers, dealing with low value girls I'm not that interested in anyway...it's all just kind of bullsh*t and I feel happier when I'm not doing it.

Any time in the last 6 months that I've started getting involved with anyone, within a week or two I immediately can't wait to drop it and be single again. I'd legitimately rather be watching TV, working out or doing something artistic rather than hitting on someone who's clingy/needy/boring just because they're somewhat attractive.

I don't know, maybe I'm just at a time in my life where I want to put self-improvement above dating/sex, but I'm almost not seeing the attraction of bothering with it anymore. I put in hours of nonsense with someone for...well, getting my d*ck wet every now and then? What a waste.

It's more fun doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it, and I'm happy trading not having sex for that. Maybe that's my DJ realisation?

Yea I know what you mean. Dating and all of it seems exhausting. I’m in a somewhat similar place.

I think it’s about prioritizing yourself above the women. Only spend time with women who increase your happiness and life’s enjoyment. There are great women out there who you can connect well with, it’s sinply a matter of sifting through the ones which are not worth time and emotional investment.

Make sure you’re going after what you want and pouring focus in to the things you value, then enjoy time with some women. Banishing anything which can have an upside isn’t the best plan, from my experience.
Pouring time in to clingy, time wasting, attention seeking women is because you don’t value your time and play in to their frame.

 

[CBear]

I know this is somewhat antithetical to the DJ philosophy and maybe I'm just getting too cynical for my own good...but I've realised recently that I don't really give a f*ck about dating. Or even sex, if I'm honest. I don't really care much about it.

Feels like the amount of faffing about, dealing with crazy chicks, dealing with flakes, dealing with time wasting attention-seekers, dealing with low value girls I'm not that interested in anyway...it's all just kind of bullsh*t and I feel happier when I'm not doing it.

Any time in the last 6 months that I've started getting involved with anyone, within a week or two I immediately can't wait to drop it and be single again. I'd legitimately rather be watching TV, working out or doing something artistic rather than hitting on someone who's clingy/needy/boring just because they're somewhat attractive.

I don't know, maybe I'm just at a time in my life where I want to put self-improvement above dating/sex, but I'm almost not seeing the attraction of bothering with it anymore. I put in hours of nonsense with someone for...well, getting my d*ck wet every now and then? What a waste.

It's more fun doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it, and I'm happy trading not having sex for that. Maybe that's my DJ realisation?

Yes. Many people my age get out of and into relationships left and right. Idk why but I feel like it's just a waste of time as well as a bunch of stupid games for a sh1tty prize. Maybe people who have a lot of emotional support and a lot of close friends they can turn to don't have as much of a craving for a relationship or sex? Just an assumption.

 

[logicallefty]

Idk why but I feel like it's just a waste of time as well as a bunch of stupid games for a sh1tty prize

This line right here made me think of a quote by our temporarily banned @RichardTheFrog where he said "It's just a stinky hole!" I laughed at that for days after he said it That's really all the 'prize' really is tho anymore.. In all honestly.. That's what we get for all of our work courting women.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

While I disagreed with Richard's general anti-female sentiment, I think that's the biggest point he has. At the end of the day, if you're happy in your own company...the company of others sometimes doesn't offer you anything. I actually agree with him there.

Which is odd because a few years back with my last GF I felt like she really increased the quality of my life just with her company. I guess times change.

I think it's a mindframe. Sometimes you just need everything a woman can offer with her companionship (I mean in a non-sexual way), other times that's worthless.

 

[flowtheory]

While I disagreed with Richard's general anti-female sentiment, I think that's the biggest point he has. At the end of the day, if you're happy in your own company...the company of others sometimes doesn't offer you anything. I actually agree with him there.

Which is odd because a few years back with my last GF I felt like she really increased the quality of my life just with her company. I guess times change.

I think it's a mindframe. Sometimes you just need everything a woman can offer with her companionship (I mean in a non-sexual way), other times that's worthless.

Being around women is nice.
It’s not as nice when you’re around them only in pursuit of their stinky hole. When expectations enter ones mind, then it becomes frustrating.

 

[ohrein]

I know this is somewhat antithetical to the DJ philosophy and maybe I'm just getting too cynical for my own good...but I've realised recently that I don't really give a f*ck about dating. Or even sex, if I'm honest. I don't really care much about it.

Feels like the amount of faffing about, dealing with crazy chicks, dealing with flakes, dealing with time wasting attention-seekers, dealing with low value girls I'm not that interested in anyway...it's all just kind of bullsh*t and I feel happier when I'm not doing it.

Any time in the last 6 months that I've started getting involved with anyone, within a week or two I immediately can't wait to drop it and be single again. I'd legitimately rather be watching TV, working out or doing something artistic rather than hitting on someone who's clingy/needy/boring just because they're somewhat attractive.

I don't know, maybe I'm just at a time in my life where I want to put self-improvement above dating/sex, but I'm almost not seeing the attraction of bothering with it anymore. I put in hours of nonsense with someone for...well, getting my d*ck wet every now and then? What a waste.

It's more fun doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it, and I'm happy trading not having sex for that. Maybe that's my DJ realisation?

I reached the same point at your age. I had three casual plates and I was just getting bored and asking myself how much all this time was really improving my life and the answer was not a lot. In fact, in was starting to cut into the time I wanted to dedicate to progressing my career and health. The woman I've been dating for a while now is not like that. When I spend time with her it elevates my mood and she is a great friend who I also have sex with. That said, I'd be happy being single as well. Women are like an option in a car. They can make your life better but they're not necessary to an enjoyable life. If the way you're interacting with women isn't adding to your life, try changing things up or just be single. I stopped even trying to get women for a big chunk of time and my life was great.

End of the day I don't think it's cynical to understand your worth and to question why you invest time and energy into the pursuit of something, in this case women. I think it's a great question to ask that I asked myself at one point. When I eventually decided to re-enter the dating world, I did so with a much clearer image of what would add to my life. A set of qualities that make a woman a great friend and lover. It filters out a lot of women but if you can find one that suits you and your life it can be great. If not, oh well! Still got a great life.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Being around women is nice.
It’s not as nice when you’re around them only in pursuit of their stinky hole. When expectations enter ones mind, then it becomes frustrating.

That's the thing though, I've not even been trying to get sex and even then dating has worn really thin as of late for me.

I've had like 3 dates in a row where a chick brings up politics, then rages because I don't agree with her crazy radical take on things. "Oh you make some great points" --> no second date.

Even just hanging out with many girls is actively irritating because they don't have much to offer in the social department. Perhaps that's what my dates have been lacking - I find girls most attractive when they're actually fun to hang out with, many girls I've been seeing are boring or actively a pain in the arse.

End of the day I don't think it's cynical to understand your worth and to question why you invest time and energy into the pursuit of something, in this case women. I think it's a great question to ask that I asked myself at one point. When I eventually decided to re-enter the dating world, I did so with a much clearer image of what would add to my life. A set of qualities that make a woman a great friend and lover. It filters out a lot of women but if you can find one that suits you and your life it can be great. If not, oh well! Still got a great life.

I think this is the thing. Why am I trying to get girls right now? Because I want to, or because I want approval/cred from others?

And if the latter is the case: why the f*ck am I trying to get anyone's approval? Even that of my friends? I don't need it.

If it's the girls' ego gratification/approval I seek...again, why the f*ck do I need it?

The things in my life that actually earned me the most respect were those things that centred on self improvement anyway. When I got fit, I had guys asking me how I did that and telling me I looked sharp, for example. I imagine it's the same if you run a successful business.

The only reason I really feel like I'd like a serious relationship right now is to have kids, and that's basically the "forever option". And I'm not ready for it atm.

 

[AttackFormation]

The only reason I really feel like I'd like a serious relationship right now is to have kids, and that's basically the "forever option". And I'm not ready for it atm.

Long term relationships are for raising kids or being in love. Short term ones are enough for enjoying the feeling of infatuation.

I don't think there's any point to spending time or effort at all on chicks, for most guys. Stop wasting your time on OLD or clubs or whatever and just improve your own life. Pvssy isn't worth the opportunity cost of what you could be doing with your time and energy instead - learning a skill, relaxing, doing a hobby. If I'd spent 10% of the time reading books that I've spent thinking about messages, I'd be a fvcking polymath today. Unless you're the kind of guy who genuinely enjoys gaming indifferent or lukewarm girls who might turn out to have a disgusting hygiene or std anyway, or you're reached the position where women are now the ones who are after you, you're better off making a goal of reading a book every day about whatever interests you.

Just imagine the monumental waste going on every day the world over with guys who are out there sacrificing their personal growth for chasing a mirage of pvssy. Me, I don't wanna be part of the baboon pack anymore. 5 years from now I'll be a master of my life and interests while Tony will be asking himself whether Lola prefers that he hands over his balls with his left or right hand.

 

[lizardking82]

I am at a point right now where I have two solid plates in my city, one plate that lives in another city that comes to the capital once in 2-3 weeks (plus one that is incoming from Spain in September, could be just 2-3 weeks full of hot sex or could turn into sth more, let's see).

One of my plates is a early 30s woman that is fit and just horny for me as a woman can ever be and has even been helping me out economically here and there. The other one is a young, 22 year old babe with one of the tightest ****s I have ever felt and a very feminine behaviour ever known to me. They fulfill my sexual needs to the point that I have reduced jerking off to 2-3 times a week at most and that more out of habit than necessity.

However, I can tell you that I will not give exclusivity to the woman and I am not going to give exclusivity to the younger girl either for a good while. I enjoy my freedom and being able to set my times so much so I work as a freelance photographer and if I have my life set up to be as free as possible from money and work, I for sure am not going to let a tight and wet hole control my schedules, mood and other details. I am 24 and this is what I enjoy the most right now, this way of living and I think I will enjoy this for a good while longer to come.

When I feel different about it, I will for sure make a thread here.

 

[IKO69]

I am 35 years old and I do not have a girlfriend at the moment. That could change at any time. I don't really worry too much about because I like where I am at the moment development wise and I know things will continue to improve for me. To be honest I hate being told what to do and I hate all the concessions that must be made when you have a girlfriend or whatever. So I really enjoy my time now....I think I got jaded in my youth because of women and so I know better and don't put up with their bull****. It would have to take an exceptional woman to pique my interest and she will have to be younger as I don't even consider women around my age (for obvious reasons).

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I know this is somewhat antithetical to the DJ philosophy and maybe I'm just getting too cynical for my own good...but I've realised recently that I don't really give a f*ck about dating. Or even sex, if I'm honest. I don't really care much about it.

You maybe want to check your thyroid and testosterone.

Feels like the amount of faffing about, dealing with crazy chicks, dealing with flakes, dealing with time wasting attention-seekers, dealing with low value girls I'm not that interested in anyway...it's all just kind of bullsh*t and I feel happier when I'm not doing it.

The game depicted misogyny that is a by product of pickup. Becoming disillusioned by the feminine agenda and biological strategy.

Any time in the last 6 months that I've started getting involved with anyone, within a week or two I immediately can't wait to drop it and be single again. I'd legitimately rather be watching TV, working out or doing something artistic rather than hitting on someone who's clingy/needy/boring just because they're somewhat attractive.

Males predisposition to seeking freedom. The pursuit of sex usually is better than the experience (most of the time). The same thing is true for women and actually getting to know her. You create a script for your ideal and she doesn't match it. You can't fault her for that but, most are following the beaten path in society.

I don't know, maybe I'm just at a time in my life where I want to put self-improvement above dating/sex, but I'm almost not seeing the attraction of bothering with it anymore. I put in hours of nonsense with someone for...well, getting my d*ck wet every now and then? What a waste.

Buy Way of the superior man by David Deida. It's ideal. At the core of your being, it resonates, and it instills you with a truth you've always known but, may not have ever articulated it.

Above all, know thy self. Seek self knowledge. Explore consciousness. Be about your passion in life. March to the beat of your drum. Yes, go get baes but, not at the cost of your purpose and higher order.

It's more fun doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it, and I'm happy trading not having sex for that. Maybe that's my DJ realisation?

It sounds like low testosterone.

Many soy boys and cucks these days.


Obv go pull baes just get a ****ing life. DHV from go. Busy yourself. You had bee. Bang on if you were Elon Musk seeking to Terraform mars. Dude puts in 80-100 hour weeks. He still gets baes. Dudes a multi billionaire.

Not doing it right kuz.

Get higher quality problems. Aim higher.

I don't believe in monogamy or marriage. I do think it is ideal for society 'in a perfect world.' alternative being Chad's 80/20. Chad humps everything, cucks marry, and play house raising babies with cratered smv.

I prefer top form smv. Casual. No strings.

Then again, my mate and I Eiffel Towered some sloot, left, and went out to get more baes. Pulled one. Attempted to Eiffel tower again but, 'she's not like that.' lulzzzz

Pull, smash and repeat. Low libido/sex drive means #nextset

 

[Glassguy]

@MoreThanSmooth

There are a lot of single guys in the same situation as you, me included. It is a composition of several things.

1.) Age and dating relationship experience: In my situation I was married 9 years, divorced, got into a LTR and engaged and that ended after almost 3 years. We get to the point where we know the type of ending and aftermath a LTR going wrong can lead to and it really doesnt make investing that much into someone worth it. It is easier to get what we want and only when we want it rather to give control of our emotions to someone else. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you own it and accept it (be happy about it).

2.) Independence: Self explanatory. We dont NEED someone around and we certainly dont keep someone around just for the sake of not being lonely which ties into the last point......

3.) We make ourselves happy: I play a lot of golf, go to the gym, go boating, fishing trips, own my own hunting property that I bow hunt, I have season Ohio State football season tickets every year, etc etc etc. Those things make me happier than going out on dates with someone that I dont feel that connection with, or enough of it to invest more time into when I know d@mn well it will take time away from those other things that I do for myself that genuinely make me happy. Compound that with me having a teenage daughter that is heavily involved in almost year round volleyball and when is there really enough time to seriously date? The end result of anything serious is going to be them getting mad because I dont spend enough time with them. Even telling them how busy my life is up front doesnt seem to help later down the road when they expect more.

You seem to have your priorities straight. Dont get me wrong, I date probably more than I should, but I do it on my terms and within my frame.

Dont feel bad about being happy with your life and owning it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Long term relationships are for raising kids or being in love. Short term ones are enough for enjoying the feeling of infatuation.

I don't think there's any point to spending time or effort at all on chicks, for most guys. Stop wasting your time on OLD or clubs or whatever and just improve your own life. Pvssy isn't worth the opportunity cost of what you could be doing with your time and energy instead - learning a skill, relaxing, doing a hobby. If I'd spent 10% of the time reading books that I've spent thinking about messages, I'd be a fvcking polymath today. Unless you're the kind of guy who genuinely enjoys gaming indifferent or lukewarm girls who might turn out to have a disgusting hygiene or std anyway, or you're reached the position where women are now the ones who are after you, you're better off making a goal of reading a book every day about whatever interests you.

Just imagine the monumental waste going on every day the world over with guys who are out there sacrificing their personal growth for chasing a mirage of pvssy. Me, I don't wanna be part of the baboon pack anymore. 5 years from now I'll be a master of my life and interests while Tony will be asking himself whether Lola prefers that he hands over his balls with his left or right hand.

5 years . Put a number to it . 5 years of growth will blow your mind.

 

[wifehunter]

I agree, I see more progress with self improvement when I am by myself. Most women just want to cry and complain without really moving forward.

Plus, if I stay single, I get to have as many non-serious girlfriends as I want. No hanky-panky, just fun times!

 

[resilient]

I've imposed staying single after plate spinning backfired on me early last spring. I gave a girl exclusivity too soon when I thought she had filtered out her options. Big mistake. I've written about it in other threads... Long story short. I self-imposed staying single.

I filled that time of being alone with:
-Getting ripped in the gym
-Getting good at the guitar very quickly in my older age with hours of daily practice and weekly lessons
-Networking, building contacts in interests that I liked
-Establishing new social circles
-Graduating with my undergrad
-Saving my money for grad school
-Finishing all my prerequisites for grad school
-Finishing all required volunteering/shadowing hours
-Finishing applying to grad school
-Developing leadership qualities of planning social events (this helped me squash my usual afc following patterns)

I couldn't have accomplished half this list if I was plate spinning. It's not for everyone, yet I know the time I would used that time playing video games, chasing lukewarm plates, letting my mind hyperfocus on what they need rather than I what I need would have detracted from the plans I have made to progress and move onto a second successful career.

In essence, I have more self-respect for myself now that I took control over my life rather than let someone else tell me how to live it. I'm much happier this year than I was last year when I felt pulled in a million directions.

It's good to take time off dating and really focus on your direction. Like:

- Where do you want to go?
- What do you want to become?
- What are your dreams?
- What hobbies have you been dying to get into, yet haven't devoted the time to exploring that?

You'll come back supercharged and women will notice when you take the time to invest in yourself. And that's the best thing, you always have yourself to fall back on when plates break and you have to start over.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've imposed staying single after plate spinning backfired on me early last spring. I gave a girl exclusivity too soon when I thought she had filtered out her options. Big mistake. I've written about it in other threads... Long story short. I self-imposed staying single.

I filled that time of being alone with:
-Getting ripped in the gym
-Getting good at the guitar very quickly in my older age with hours of daily practice and weekly lessons
-Networking, building contacts in interests that I liked
-Establishing new social circles
-Graduating with my undergrad
-Saving my money for grad school
-Finishing all my prerequisites for grad school
-Finishing all required volunteering/shadowing hours
-Finishing applying to grad school
-Developing leadership qualities of planning social events (this helped me squash my usual afc following patterns)

I couldn't have accomplished half this list if I was plate spinning. It's not for everyone, yet I know the time I would used that time playing video games, chasing lukewarm plates, letting my mind hyperfocus on what they need rather than I what I need would have detracted from the plans I have made to progress and move onto a second successful career.

In essence, I have more self-respect for myself now that I took control over my life rather than let someone else tell me how to live it. I'm much happier this year than I was last year when I felt pulled in a million directions.

It's good to take time off dating and real focus your direction. You'll come back supercharged and women will notice.

They will try to steal this focus through attention . So be careful . They can bleed you down real quick . Purpose first .