Rollo Tomassi said:
Whenever I hear guys tell me about how "tired they are" of the scene or I get the standard "I'm too old for that" rationale my first thought is that this is a cop out. Many guys use a variety of rationales (really social contrivances) to excuse their lack of game or innability to socialize as an adult - relying mostly on adolescent social/dating skills due mostly to the fact that they have been serial monogamist their whole lives or else have internalized their AFC mentality for a lifetime and still cling to it's myths.
"Tired of the bar scene" = "I'm socially retarded and can't meet people at bars"
Anyway, my situation is more of a sick twist. See, being able to rock chicks in the sack effortlessly is both a gift and a curse. My LTR's have been with women that were grand actors pretending to be little angels just to maintain the "relationship of convenience". Ok, fine, I'm a guy so I can't really claim to be a "victim" or complain about being used for sex. But in retrospect, I've noticed that virtually all of my LTR's or MTR's have been the same thing: Vulpine getting hustled by shady women, taking words at face value versus judging actions and/or tollerating disrespect, not being selective enough, etc... AFC mentality in general and women getting all they wanted until "Mr. Righter" came along. I was the perfect stepping stone, or "wayside", or "pleasant distraction", and never a "serious candidate". The end result? Wasted time and more wasted time strung together to be - wasted life, comprimised future.
It's not skills that has been my problem, it's my attitude and priorities. Now, I see what I want, see how I'm being treated, and unfortunately have become ultra-cynical. I can't say that covering my azz is a bad thing, so cynical seems to have a far too negative connotation in this instance. Weary? Baggage? You can't really attach those negative sounding things to my situation because, seriously, my change has been for the better - regardless of what women, or society, would like me to believe.
Ok, ok, ok... I can't smooth over the fact that I was bitter. I got burned, played, suckered, you name it. My cynacism had easily escalated to mysogeny in a lot of scenarios, and rightfully so: all women sucked according to me at the point I realized what a waste my life has been. Well, hating isn't where it's at, and neither is depression, so here's where I've learned to be: uninterested.
I don't need to find fault, blame women, hate, nope... it takes two to Tango. I was the sucker, I wasted my time, I am just as to blame as women. I was AFC. I met at least 10 women I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. But, to sarge and keep notching my bedpost was my goal in life. My goals motivate me now. My goals aren't "bang more women". Naw, far too many undeserving women got rocked already. My goal is ...
"Get my life back on track and live a life that I want to live, how I want to live, where I want to live it, doing sh!t that I want to do."
Notice "women" are nowhere in that mission statement. It's simple: me, me, me, me, me.
Like agent Smith cloning himself said:
Original Smith: Me, me, me, me.
Cloned Smith: Me too!
Maybe I'm whacked, but I took that as an Adam and Eve thing. I'll gladly give a rib to have a female clone of myself and skip all the crap any day of the week... but that's not going to happen, so *shrug*.
SOooo,
"Any of You Older Guys Tired of The Scene and Just Want To Find Someone?"
Sure, long time ago. But, I'm not going to "try" to find someone. And, it's not the "scene" that I'm tired of, it was/is my misdirected energy that I am tired of.
If this is all too philisophical, it can be broken down simply: go out to have fun, don't go out to pick up women, make plans that benefit you, don't comprimise those plans for a woman, set goals for you, don't set goals or comprimise those goals for women. That's what we get at here when we all say "you are the prize".
Sorry about the ranting, but there has been so much stuff lately stemming from just plain backwards mentalities lately. I think the bootcamp itself starts off from the wrong place entirely. They start at "get your game tight" whereas it should really start at "get your head right". (my $.02)