Any of you older guys employ S&D on family members with success?

[darksprezzatura]

I would advise that if this was a girl you were dating or dated but this is family so I believe it could be handled differently.

Although S&D wouldn't be a wrong choice, as the hope is that she will realize you need to create boundaries for your own sake and make your presence missed, I believe in giving someone in your family the benefit of the doubt. So with that, have you tried having an honest and candor conversation as to their current state of your relationship?

Being married with kids will def make it harder but it is still not impossible. You just have to be intentional. But you are right, it must be genuine and reciprocal. Relationships cannot be one-way. Even family ones.

I think that if after having an open conversation she makes excuses and worse still doesn't cherish and respect the relationship, then yes, take a step back and stop spending energy where it is not appreciated and reciprocated.

Although it is one of the hardest things to do, I've had to cut many relationships, including family ones. For my sake. What I preach in dating, I preach in life in general. You must always respect yourself and know your worth. And walk away from anything that is detrimental to your mental health and masculine energy.

My two cents.


Modern Man Advice

Bump.

@Barrister
A situation like this is obviously a no-brainer in context to dating, things understandably become complex when family's involved.

Most people need space to miss someone or understand their value.

Considering your sister and you shared a deep bond during your childhoods, and as you say there hasn't been a conflict huge enough to warrant this behaviour,

It would benefit you to keep an open line of communication while simultaneously creating some distance. In short, maybe by giving her a few opportunities to reach out.

It's possible she's going through a few things in her own personal life, she's married after all.

Family warrants the benefit of the doubt more so than strangers, just my opinion

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So I am currently dealing with the realities of growing older in that family members who I have been very close to my entire life are slowly becoming more detached. My younger sister in particular, whom I have always been extremely close to and shared a strong bond (particularly due to our parents almost divorcing multiple times when we were in grade school and high school), has slowly been growing apart from me. We each have children now. She is still married.

What I have noticed though is that while I have still made time to try to keep in touch with her by occasionally calling her and texting her off and on, she makes zero effort to reciprocate. If I don't call her, we simply don't talk. When I do call, she usually makes some excuse to get off the phone in relatively short order and tells me just to text her. Comes across like I am bothering her almost.

I understand part of this is life and I am not a priority anymore like I used to be when we were kids. I do still find it disappointing that, from my perspective, she is willing to have almost no relationship with me. I also have a lot going on, arguably more than she does, and try to make time to stay in touch.

Is this just a time when I need to drop all contact and see where it goes? Part of me just feels she has earned me cutting her out completely - but I worry I am being too harsh. Can't help but feel very disappointed by it -- but I understand that sometimes this sh1t just happens in life.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

The distancing nonsense was part of the ploy for messing with people and systematically wrecking the sovereign individual. If anything is apparent very few people are solid. Look at the sheep in their car alone with six masks on and fast food. Stfu put on your cute little mask and your little mystery booster into eternity as your government raises taxes while debasing your currency.

The concept of forward thinking is lost. People allocate time towards what they see value in. Do an audit and evaluate what you value? Actually look at a bank statement. It's telling. The amount of people who allocate money to woke jargon and rubbish vs buying crypto or other investment strategies.

Similar to dating and a girl being flaky, people allocate time towards what they value. Forget what they say. Watch jow they move. Act accordingly.

Adopt a more cut throat approach. People are with you or against you. There's no ambiguity. Choose your destiny.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Although it is one of the hardest things to do, I've had to cut many relationships, including family ones. For my sake. What I preach in dating, I preach in life in general. You must always respect yourself and know your worth. And walk away from anything that is detrimental to your mental health and masculine energy.

My two cents.


Modern Man Advice

Well said. +1

In pickup, they warn you need to cut off people from the past. On my come up, I used to think that there was another way. I was plugged in at that time. As time went on, I learned it's part of the process to sever deadwood. I don't look back.

I've said many a times that fellas need to become mercenaries. Absolutely cut throat. Boundaries set in place. If breached, people are done. Gtfo! More recently, I just ghost.

Time and energy is finite. It needs to be utilized effectively. The equivalent of a womans SMV. men have no government bail out or any fallback. If PEOPLE aren't adding value and matching or Exceeding reciprocity, #next!