any ideas there about girl moving it too slow?

snake2

New Member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Hello, I am new in this forum...i need an advice here (as always)

I met a girl she is 23, i am 26 and she was very charming and flirty...anyway i dated her twice and she seemed to play along, kino escalation and all that.

Problems with her attitude are though that she never calls me, i call her or anyway i am always making the first approach there is nothing that she has initiated that far...

She is very inclined to rescheduling all the time, i get a headache everytime that i try to arrange anything with her...

the last week she did not contact me for one whole week...i let that be and she finally did send ONE message, this must be the first time and an exception though...

anyway i suggested her we should go out and she suggested meeting for shopping (boring!:yawn:) because she could not make it for the night, what to do to speed her up a little bit? she is cheerful to hear me all that, but i do not get any action here...
 

oscarxp25

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
117
Reaction score
3
Sunshine Girl= A girl who flirts with you and gives you signals but doesn't follow through with you trying to advance the relationship. The above post is right, go find another one and stop wasting time.
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,377
Reaction score
2,696
Location
Texas
snake2 said:
i dated her twice and she seemed to play along, kino escalation and all that.
Kino Escalation?? In other words you didn't even kiss her?
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,041
Reaction score
499
Dude if shes is interested in you she will make time for you. She will constantly think about you. She will make plans and be excited to include you in them. Plain and simple, end of story.

Girls can be nice to guys for no less than 1,000 self serving reasons. What you are after is only one thing. To be her #1... and you're not with this girl unfortunately. Move on.
 

snake2

New Member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Kino Escalation?? In other words you didn't even kiss her?
kino escalation and all that.
included in all that...we had a small make out session towards the end of the second date, i called her the next day, we talked, i told her to arrange a date to see her again, then she responded after a week... ( i did not call her in this week)

what confuses me is that she is always warm when we talk and she was very flirty also (at least when we are too together), when we are not she is too passive for my taste, "shopping?" please!!:nervous:

not sure if i should next her or give her another chance? or just freeze and call back in one month? perhaps she gets the message?

What you are after is only one thing. To be her #1... and you're not with this girl unfortunately. Move on.
yes you are probably right, she is treating me something like me being an option here; or that's my idea...so there is defintely something in the picture which does not seem right...
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,377
Reaction score
2,696
Location
Texas
snake2 said:
What confuses me is that she is always warm when we talk.
I see, so because she's "always warm" when you TALK you assume she'll marry you, and now you're understandably confused.

A girl can f*ck you on your last night together, and then dump you on the ride home a few hours later. Measure her interest by how willing she is to go on the NEXT date, not how "warm" she was last time.
 

snake2

New Member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
bigneil said:
I see, so because she's "always warm" when you TALK you assume she'll marry you, and now you're understandably confused.

A girl can f*ck you on your last night together, and then dump you on the ride home a few hours later. Measure her interest by how willing she is to go on the NEXT date, not how "warm" she was last time.
good point * things are starting to clear up a little bit - perhaps i like her too much, if no i would not have been so...you know..
 

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
Messages
2,462
Reaction score
101
Location
Pimpsylvania
Ahhh the classic NEXXT NEXXT NEXXT response that is the staple response of 99% of guys on this main discussion forum.

Here's my take:

1) Yes, she is obviously dating others and its pretty clear that she gets attention and is use to making guys pursue her

2) You need to have options as well, so you aren't focusing too much time and energy on this ONE GIRL. Two dates bro; that's nothing. Keep meeting new girls and talking to her at the same time.

3) Until you phuck a girl, they rarely initiate much contact. However if she is receptive to your calls/texts and dates then you are over-analyzing



I wouldn't NEXT her, but I would pull back a bit and see if she starts showing more interest.

In the mean time bide your time by meeting new girls and hanging out with your friends.







PIMP
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,115
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
Pimp-sicle said:
Ahhh the classic NEXXT NEXXT NEXXT response that is the staple response of 99% of guys on this main discussion forum.

Here's my take:

1) Yes, she is obviously dating others and its pretty clear that she gets attention and is use to making guys pursue her

2) You need to have options as well, so you aren't focusing too much time and energy on this ONE GIRL. Two dates bro; that's nothing. Keep meeting new girls and talking to her at the same time.

3) Until you phuck a girl, they rarely initiate much contact. However if she is receptive to your calls/texts and dates then you are over-analyzing



I wouldn't NEXT her, but I would pull back a bit and see if she starts showing more interest.

In the mean time bide your time by meeting new girls and hanging out with your friends.

Exactly what I was thinking. You shouldn't Next the girl just because she has options. You just can't make this girl your #1 option.

Build a rotation of women, keep her in the game, and see what happens. But by no means whatsoever should you alter your plans for this woman. She is not girlfriend material...at least not any time soon. She has a high probability of flaking....probably because she has one or two guys higher on her priorities than you.

The only thing you can do is cool down, and don't pursue too hard. There's nothing you can do to speed her up, snake2. All you can do is slow down your interest...and perhaps she'll believe that she's falling down a few notches on your priorities list.

I understand the Nexting advice. You don't want to have high interest in a girl who's not returning it. But on the other hand, in reality, why should this girl have high interest?
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,420
Reaction score
1,127
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Iceberg said:
Exactly what I was thinking. You shouldn't Next the girl just because she has options. You just can't make this girl your #1 option.

Build a rotation of women, keep her in the game, and see what happens. But by no means whatsoever should you alter your plans for this woman. She is not girlfriend material...at least not any time soon. She has a high probability of flaking....probably because she has one or two guys higher on her priorities than you.

The only thing you can do is cool down, and don't pursue too hard. There's nothing you can do to speed her up, snake2. All you can do is slow down your interest...and perhaps she'll believe that she's falling down a few notches on your priorities list.

I understand the Nexting advice. You don't want to have high interest in a girl who's not returning it. But on the other hand, in reality, why should this girl have high interest?
Don't guys on this board realize that all women always have options?
 

snake2

New Member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
thank you all for the great advice...it helps to build a self esteem...

anyway i texted her to cancel the shopping date, she called back asking what happened (yes!), i told her i am not interested in shopping activities (suddenly i felt like saying: what am I? a hanger? ) and i told her we should better arrange it to go at a bar and chill out when she feels like having time...she asked "when do you say?", I told her "Wednesday", she said okay...

she just text me "is it okay to make that a coffee earlier in the evening?"

I really want to call and start swearing her! is she serious? should i give in? I am 50-50 to answer NO that's not okay, and NO that's not what i proposed so until you come up with an answer to what i said "hello"...and still i feel i might lose my chance here...
she is driving me nuts...

*cooling down a bit perhaps i should not care that much? and still go...have no idea why she is making me so pissed but she is..probably not a good sign ha?
 
Last edited:

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
576
Reaction score
24
Tell her that you can't do the coffee and that you'll be at the bar no matter what. If she's interested she'll show up on your terms.
 
Top