newyorkdude
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2004
- Messages
- 16
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Hey guys, have come across a situation that has me just a little perplexed, and was wondering what advice some of you may have.
Met this girl about two months ago. I'm 34, though told i look 26-27, most girls have rated me a 8.5-9. Shes a senior in college and 23. We started hanging out and have basically gotten along just as well as you could possibly ask for. Started having sex pretty quickly, go out about 1-2 times a week, never argue, laugh all the time, and a few weeks ago went to the Bahamas together. She pays at least half of her way when we go out including our trip. By the way she called the trip her best vacation shes ever had.
We've kept it pretty low key, and havent discussed alot about a relationship other than in general terms, although I do know the age factor, while not huge, does concern her some. We have hung out twice since we got back, had a great times of coarse, but yesterday for the first time she backed out on a date. We were going to hang out after the game, but she called and said she couldnt because I guess a friend of hers who she used to go to school with showed up unexpectedly at school for the tailgate and she said when we go out, its usually just us spending all our time together, and she wanted to spend some time with her. I of coarse played it cool and said no biggie, some other time. The only reason this concerns me a little is because I sense that I am slightly more concerned about the relationship than she is from previous converstaions, maybe 60/40. I do notice that whenever i pullback a little, she comes running quickly, but when i start to show more affection than normal, she seems to withdrawl some.
For example, the other day we were at crowded club, and i dissapeared for like 5 minutes to go the bathroom and just walk around by myself for a bit, she called 6 times in that times worried I had left her and was pretty frantic about it lol.
Now we just saw each other two days ago, so its not like we havent been hanging out lately, but I guess what Im asking is what do i do to change the power or IL in the relationship from her being in control 60/40 to me being that way? Pullback, dont be as available for dates or phone calls for a bit? I dont really get the sense that she withdrawls slightly to play games, but from what I know of her she seems a little uncomfortable with too much affection or physical contact. In fact she told me shes been that way with every bf shes ever had. In fact shes had 3 major bf's and has never introduced any of them to her family. So she definetly has some issues in that regard. I sense that she does have fairly high IL in me, but whenever i start to show to much IL, she withdrawals some.
How do I change that, and what specifically do i do to help her "realize" that I am the greatest guy she could ever imagine being with and give me more control in the relationship. By the way, i would have no problem in taking this relationship to the next level, and she has hinted around to it, but at the same time I sense she is pretty comfortable in just "hanging" out rght now.
TIA guys
Met this girl about two months ago. I'm 34, though told i look 26-27, most girls have rated me a 8.5-9. Shes a senior in college and 23. We started hanging out and have basically gotten along just as well as you could possibly ask for. Started having sex pretty quickly, go out about 1-2 times a week, never argue, laugh all the time, and a few weeks ago went to the Bahamas together. She pays at least half of her way when we go out including our trip. By the way she called the trip her best vacation shes ever had.
We've kept it pretty low key, and havent discussed alot about a relationship other than in general terms, although I do know the age factor, while not huge, does concern her some. We have hung out twice since we got back, had a great times of coarse, but yesterday for the first time she backed out on a date. We were going to hang out after the game, but she called and said she couldnt because I guess a friend of hers who she used to go to school with showed up unexpectedly at school for the tailgate and she said when we go out, its usually just us spending all our time together, and she wanted to spend some time with her. I of coarse played it cool and said no biggie, some other time. The only reason this concerns me a little is because I sense that I am slightly more concerned about the relationship than she is from previous converstaions, maybe 60/40. I do notice that whenever i pullback a little, she comes running quickly, but when i start to show more affection than normal, she seems to withdrawl some.
For example, the other day we were at crowded club, and i dissapeared for like 5 minutes to go the bathroom and just walk around by myself for a bit, she called 6 times in that times worried I had left her and was pretty frantic about it lol.
Now we just saw each other two days ago, so its not like we havent been hanging out lately, but I guess what Im asking is what do i do to change the power or IL in the relationship from her being in control 60/40 to me being that way? Pullback, dont be as available for dates or phone calls for a bit? I dont really get the sense that she withdrawls slightly to play games, but from what I know of her she seems a little uncomfortable with too much affection or physical contact. In fact she told me shes been that way with every bf shes ever had. In fact shes had 3 major bf's and has never introduced any of them to her family. So she definetly has some issues in that regard. I sense that she does have fairly high IL in me, but whenever i start to show to much IL, she withdrawals some.
How do I change that, and what specifically do i do to help her "realize" that I am the greatest guy she could ever imagine being with and give me more control in the relationship. By the way, i would have no problem in taking this relationship to the next level, and she has hinted around to it, but at the same time I sense she is pretty comfortable in just "hanging" out rght now.
TIA guys
