Any advice for black guys that dont act "black"?

NyNy · Apr 23, 2004

Heres my problem I'm black and grew up and still live in Harlem but I cannot connect with the people at all...i'm into "white" stuff like electric guitar and rock/metal, and most of the time have conflicting political views. I dress somewhat urban (sweats/jeans/timberlands) but i'm not into the whole "thug/bling" thing...which makes it hard for me to meet chicks. I've had a few, and i currently have a gf but im on the virge of breaking up which her. I just was wondering has anyone had this problem or can give any tips to resolve this.

California Love · Apr 23, 2004

Try finding a place where there is a lot of culture mixing and you'll see that a single race can represent many different facets. Im sure you're not alone

.

submissivedave · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by NyNy
Heres my problem I'm black and grew up and still live in Harlem but I cannot connect with the people at all...i'm into "white" stuff like electric guitar and rock/metal, and most of the time have conflicting political views. I dress somewhat urban (sweats/jeans/timberlands) but i'm not into the whole "thug/bling" thing...which makes it hard for me to meet chicks. I've had a few, and i currently have a gf but im on the virge of breaking up which her. I just was wondering has anyone had this problem or can give any tips to resolve this.

That is the most funniest thing I have ever read on a message board!!! Holy **** bro, wake up man!!! Just because you're a Black man, it doesn't mean you have to live up to those "Black stereotypes" like acting like a gangsta when you're not, play basketball when you don't etc. etc.

What makes you special is because you are you. Why pretend to be something/someone you are not? I think you ought to be sincere and honest with yourself ...

It's like, does an Oriental dude have to wear glasses, be good at computers, have to be skinny and be "well off"? Does a White dude have to play and like hockey (yes, I am Canadian ... LOL), listen to rock music, drive pick up trucks, like to drink beer and etc.? Does a Black dude have to be a gangsta, walk around as if he wants to start a fight etc. etc.?

Listen brotha, just do what you like doing. It's exactly that, that makes you special .....

Cheers!

squirrels · Apr 23, 2004

It's funny how some groups of people decry the stereotypes inflicted on them, but then mock their own when they DON'T follow the stereotype.

S0LID · Apr 23, 2004

Yeah but if you realy want to u should at least give the culture a try. Get some 50cent spinning.

Player_Supreme · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by NyNy
Heres my problem I'm black and grew up and still live in Harlem but I cannot connect with the people at all...i'm into "white" stuff like electric guitar and rock/metal, and most of the time have conflicting political views. I dress somewhat urban (sweats/jeans/timberlands) but i'm not into the whole "thug/bling" thing...which makes it hard for me to meet chicks. I've had a few, and i currently have a gf but im on the virge of breaking up which her. I just was wondering has anyone had this problem or can give any tips to resolve this.

1. Your problem is that you do not like being the color that you were born too. It's not about acting thugged out or whatever.

2. I hope your not like that mulatto in Chi town who was a KKK and caught planning to bomb black and jewish places of worship...now thats some real self hatred.

3. My little brother 6'8 extremely high IQ had the same situation you have. He hated being black and even listened to Johnny Cash as a kid.

4. You are the problem. You already seperate us all with:

i'm into "white" stuff
whole "thug/bling"

It's not a black or white thang. It's just be who you are.

http://sac.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=1782&ind=21

Also do your hunting in another area. Sista's in that part of town go for the thug look more...

5. Being into the "white thing" will not make you more acceptable or get you white chicks. When they see you they will still see a black face and all it represents in THEIR heads. Dispite how much you protest to them that your different and better than the typical thug black. They will also be more attracted to you if you had a thug like quality about you. Sorry. I speak from experience:

http://www.916online.com/home/modul...ame=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php

http://www.sacscene.com/pn1/modules...ame=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php

Vs NON Thug:

http://sac.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=1416&ind=16

http://sac.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=1416&ind=26

6. The place you hunt in should tell you how to dress. And if you feel comfortable in Timbers then so be it. It's not about being black. I don't know about HARLEM but out here in Kali...it's the white kids who blast rap music and dress all sagging now. The black kids are now back to dressing like we did in the old days...pimped out. They are even tucking in their shirts now since this is the newest trend.

7. Normally when I see other brotha's like how you say you are I would have nothing but disgust for you. But I can feel where your coming from. When I was a kid I had few black friends growing up. It wasn't until I became comfortable with who I was and having been born black that I grew to love myself and my race. I admit this to you freely.

This issue came from having a mixed father and a very dark skinned mother. Pops told us kids that we were too dark to meet his pops...so I grew to not like being dark for a while. Plus with the other words he had for us. I'm sure your probably in a similair boat.

You will grow out of it. You will enjoy the color of your skin. You will come to understand how better it is than other bodies. You will come to love being you. In time.

peace

Player_Supreme · Apr 23, 2004

Oh kid:

being into electric guitars and rockin isn't just a white thing. One of the greatest rock guitarist went to my mom's high school in Seattle Washington "frankly high school"

And he was black.

I'll bet you don't know his name though.

Think of his big afro shaking as he rocked out....

Too bad he died of a overdose or some ****.

Jimmy Hendriks.

And think of the old Prince.

so it's not a white thang bro. you've just been misled...bambozzled...hoodwinked...had the wool pulled over ya eyes...

And even posting this post shows how inferior you feel. You put a whole race of people on a pedistal and yourself at their feet.

You worship at the wrong alter bro. You need to worship who you are and celibrate that.

Lastly:

Many of the top rock muscians that you worship go to the black arena to study music. I am listening to Mick Jagger's greatest songs that he loves...and they are all mostly from Black artists.

Many of these muscians study rhythym and blues for their roots and take them into their own styles.

Music crosses colors it's not about the color of skin.

Tails · Apr 23, 2004

firstly. i am dark myself. i listen to britney spears and all that pop stuff. i don't dress like a black man the way you think they should, all baggy clothes. i wear jeans and a collared top. simple. i do digital photography, i sit on the computer alot. i don't talk any of that gangsta sh|t style. i also play electric guitar...

so.. don't be ashamed or whatever it is you're feeling. you are you and you have to be you. if people don't like what i do, they can go and get fuked for all i care cause i am not changing. i am not going to ignore the fact that i do like doing all the things i have mentioned... that's just me. i don't have to act like anyone. just myself.

be cool man... just be yourself and life will be great.

Player_Supreme: by the way, it's spelt Jimi Hendrix, just thought you should know. and the drug overdose thing is false. he died in his sleep, he choked on his own vomit while sleeping. he did, however, take alot of sleeping pills (more than enough) that night together with alcohol which may of caused it. anyway, that is the true story.

Dirtheart · Apr 23, 2004

Respect yourself for not letting society/culture dictate who you should be. People didn't dedicate their lives to fighting for racial liberation just to see all black people abide by social stereotypes.

Speaking personally, I think it's sad when people allow themselves to be assimilated into a culture. It's such a blatant pretence!

I'm unique and I value that. Be proud of your identity and don't let yourself be defined by society.

Player_Supreme · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by Tails

Player_Supreme: by the way, it's spelt Jimi Hendrix, just thought you should know. and the drug overdose thing is false. he died in his sleep, he choked on his own vomit while sleeping. he did, however, take alot of sleeping pills (more than enough) that night together with alcohol which may of caused it. anyway, that is the true story.

1. Are you Afro-black or Abo? I've been reading your posts titles...not the actual posts but just mainly the titles and now that you say your dark I'm curious.

a) if your abo do you guys consider yourselves black? And if so how come when you some of you guys have blond hair or red hair and in looking at your race you can see how a environment could of changed a white race to dark over centuries of time, cause some of you guys in photos and video that I've seen have some white looking features and hair.
b)how are your dreams?

2. If he died due to sleeping pills and drinking too much booze both of which are drugs...then I guess it would fall under what I said drug or some shyt.

3. Thanks for the spelling correction. You are 100 percent right on that.

***********************

NYNY:

Any advice for black guys that dont act "black"?

You know what I'm going to say don't you.

This reminds me of what white folks said about Colin Powel.."but he speaks so well for a black man" Now how is a black man suppose to sound? Most dialect come from the environment that your raised in.

You probably sound like a New Yorker from harlem not brooklyn or the bronx right.

There is no Black sound or way of speaking!

Don't get sold the hype. Your getting bambozzled!!!

Tails · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
1. Are you Afro-black or Abo? I've been reading your posts titles...not the actual posts but just mainly the titles and now that you say your dark I'm curious.

a) if your abo do you guys consider yourselves black? And if so how come when you some of you guys have blond hair or red hair and in looking at your race you can see how a environment could of changed a white race to dark over centuries of time, cause some of you guys in photos and video that I've seen have some white looking features and hair.
b)how are your dreams?

2. If he died due to sleeping pills and drinking too much booze both of which are drugs...then I guess it would fall under what I said drug or some shyt.

3. Thanks for the spelling correction. You are 100 percent right on that.

i am mixed. african, american, portuguese, spanish, german... the lot. i am not totally black like a pure african man. just slightly dark. like denzel washington sorta thing. so i can't answer your abo question... did you know that abo is an offensive word? i got in trouble for using that word on a test paper back in high school.

for 2. yeah, but most people think it was the actual hardcore drugs that he overdosed on, they don't know it was sleeping pills.

Player_Supreme · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by Tails
i am mixed. african, american, portuguese, spanish, german... the lot. i am not totally black like a pure african man. just slightly dark. like denzel washington sorta thing. so i can't answer your abo question... did you know that abo is an offensive word? i got in trouble for using that word on a test paper back in high school.

for 2. yeah, but most people think it was the actual hardcore drugs that he overdosed on, they don't know it was sleeping pills.

so your a mutt...lol. No for real...I'm glad you listed african first. and your probably dark cause of the sun light exposure down there. If you lived in like a cloudy area I'm sure you would turn like most mixed do.

thanks for the Abo tip. If I ever get to austrailia I will definately remember that. I wasn't aware of that. I just wasn't sure how to quickly type it real fast without fawking it up so I abrev. it.

Oh sleeping pills are a drug also. Many people are addicted to them just as unlicensed drugs.

When you have something that will knock you out and take away your consciousness in a tiny little pill now that's a powerful drug...

I will remember it was a sleeping drug that took his crazy ass out and made him choke on his own vomit.

Kind of like
the king of rock and roll who died on the toilet

or

the famed singer momma cass who choked on a ham sandwich...she had a weight problem so her drug of choice was food.

****************

And finally if you have kids make sure your own insecurities of race do not reflect on your kids. Let them be proud of who they are. It's a ***** hearing your light skinned dad call your mom a black so and so. you feel me!

And...Denzel is dark...so you must be pretty dark as you said.

I'm on my way in 20 minutes to see his new move...normally I don't like his shyt since he is such a pvssy...but after training day I think I will check him out...let ya know how it was.

Don of Truth · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by S0LID
Yeah but if you realy want to u should at least give the culture a try. Get some 50cent spinning.

50 cent ? You have GOT to be kidding me !

50 cent has NO redeeming qualities except for probably not taking no crap from others (but this is most likely done out of anger and hate).
Have you stopped to read his lyrics ? They are racist, sexist, stereotyping, and violent...and (big surprise)...secular.
hmm..."get rich or die tryin"
WOW...what a positive message to send to young males.

He is out for himself. He doesn't give a sh*t about you...all he wants is your money.

If you go to his website ...he has a 45 pointed at you.
This is supposed to be cool ?
Haha..violence. How cool and funny.

He gives males a BAD name.

Spike_the_cowboy · Apr 23, 2004

Be you!

I've been playing guitar since I was 12, and some of the best guitarists I know are black. Just because you are black, it does not mean that you have to be a fan of rap music or hip-hop culture. The same goes for your sense of style. Which, by the way, it sounds like you have a good one. I wear a suit and tie, but that doesn't mean I'm not a total rocker!

Ever hear of Jimi Hendrix? - He was one of the greatest, most influential guitarist of our time. Almost every guitarist today took something from him. His music wasn't black or white. So why does it have to be an issue of race? - It doesn't.

P.S. I hate hockey.

nan3109 · Apr 23, 2004

Vitamins/Minerals/Supplements for becoming black:

Popeyes chicken, watermelon, gritz, and anything you steal from a white boy's tray in the cafeteria at school.

Dirtheart · Apr 23, 2004

I totally agree with Don of Truth there. I think it's dreadful that these are the sort of people who act as role models for the youth of today and he (+ other angry rap artists) are setting racial stereotypes.

I suppose it's people like him who make "pimp" a cool buzzword among impressionable teenagers who have no idea what a pimp actually is.

playa · Apr 23, 2004

Originally posted by Don of Truth
50 cent ? You have GOT to be kidding me !

50 cent has NO redeeming qualities except for probably not taking no crap from others (but this is most likely done out of anger and hate).
Have you stopped to read his lyrics ? They are racist, sexist, stereotyping, and violent...and (big surprise)...secular.
hmm..."get rich or die tryin"
WOW...what a positive message to send to young males.

He is out for himself. He doesn't give a sh*t about you...all he wants is your money.

If you go to his website ...he has a 45 pointed at you.
This is supposed to be cool ?
Haha..violence. How cool and funny.

He gives males a BAD name.

50 Cent is a lithping weetard

quintessential · Apr 23, 2004

Why not act like a thug and lose your moral fiber?...At least the girls (including very good-looking white girls) will be all over you. Women don't want anyone with morals and being white or "acting white" is not in favor anymore due to the glorification of more wayward lifestyles and "hard-ass demeanors". I'm white and I can't get a date...so you might as well be as loud and obnoxious as you want and put your hand down your pants, which you should allow to fall off your a$$ and enjoy the women because in this absurd world, they will be all over you if you do. Being a stand-up guy is grounds for being scorned and shunned so why even be proud of who you are? It's easier to jump on a bandwagon and succeed. True originality is seldom embraced.

ScrewIt · Apr 23, 2004

decide who you are yourself, dont let anyone else tell you otherwise. nobody said you have to live up to the urban stereotype or any others for that matter. be satisfied with your personality, the way you dress and act. it's a part of who you are and how you grew up.

humans are products of the environment.

after you learn to accept/respect yourself, others will as well.

in other words, dont try to be fake. wearing the clothes, acting the attitude that you think is expected of you is easily readable that you're acting fake.

i live in nyc also, and my college is in a black neighborhood in brooklyn, so lots of urban ppl go there also. most of them that i met easily break the stereotypes, and tehy..well pretty much dress like you do.....so dont be ashamed of who you are

Vigilante7 · Apr 23, 2004

Great advice Player_Supreme....

This is what you should do NyNy....

1st of all, realize who you are, alot of latina/white/black girls go for that 'thug' / urban look, but guess what if your not comfortable with it, why wear it at all....?

You dont have to go opposite ends of the spectrum at all, like White CLothing (Guess, Abercrombie) vs Black Clothing (Enyce, Sean John, Rocawear) - which are baggy

You can go in the 'gray' area....WTF do i mean?

Well if you listen to Hip Hop at all, there is a group on Rocafella Records (Jay Z's label) that wears casual/urban clothes and mixes it up

They often wear nice black leather jackets, with more fitting jeans and nice 'urban' shoes like nice black Lugz....Their from the hood, they were born in Philly, used to sell crack, they rap about it....

but their style dosent show it, to the Grammy Awards they wore real nice suits (not as a showoff sign or to stand out....)

Whatever matches your style, wear it and dont be afraid to show it....

Look at me.....

im 16 yr old obsessed with hip hop and rap.....Listen to Camron and DIpset (HARLEM WORLD!) all day, I have friends that love hip hop as well, but guess what, Im not hood, and the clothes dont describe my personality, so I wear fitting, nice casual clothes....such as Gap Jeans, Guess Jacket, RW and CO shirt....and I still wear baggy jeans ect, it just depends on who Im with

Just LOok at these hip hop figures and how theye had an unorthodox approach to clothing:

Kanye West - Wears more 'funky' clothing such as pink Ralph Lauren shirts with Gucci Knapsacks, cortoroids as pants

Bubba Sparxxx - is known to always rock Ralph Lauren shirts

Jay Z - Now that he is 34, he rocks NICER Rocawear clothes such as fitting jeans, white fitting shoes and a nice vertical-pin striped shirt

OutKast - Wear random, funky clothes

R&B Singers - such as Avante and Carl Thomas wear urban-like NICE clothes like leather jackets, fitting shirts ect!

it depends on what you were raised with, you were born in Harlem where not only its rough but also very much into rap, so if it dosent fit your style, dont make yourself unfomfortable

Dont feel the pressure to change at all....

"People laugh at me because im different, I laugh at them because theyre all the same

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Any advice for black guys that dont act "black"?

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