Anti-challenge

BGC

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Guys,

I came to an insight that I wanted to share.

First, Doc Love has figured things out about dating. His "challenge" really will get you a lot of dates and lot of interested girls.

But you don't only use his "challenge" for dating -- you use at all times in life when around women. I use it at work, and the women sweat me. It's really quite funny. It's all about keeping your mouth shut about yourself.

(If you're not familiar with Doc Love's idea of "challege" and his system, I recommend his book -- it sounds like a lot of money, $99, and maybe it is, but it's so much worth it.)

Anyway, I came to this insight over the last few months.

Basically, if you want to sustain a LTR, after you "have" the girl, and she says she loves you, I think you have to become anti-challenge.

You have to give entirely of yourself. You ought to tell her nearly everything you do, you ought to call her back the second you get her call, you ought to compliment her as often as it occurs to you, you ought to tell her you love her when it occurs to you.

Because the difference between "dating" a girl and being intimates is so great.

I'd never had a girlfriend before, and I've changed more emotionally and psychically in the last six months than I had perhaps in the last six years.

Some of you might remember my posts from around last January. The girl I spoke of then is my girlfriend now.

So what I've realized is the most amazing part of an intimate relationship is that you two are like one. Because you share everything.

But you can't become one if you're still heavily employing "challenge."

I nearly lost my girlfriend because I was still trying to be a challenge -- and I never realized that what I was telling her was that I wasn't interested.

That isn't to say that sometimes you shouldn't be a challenge. Once I had to cancel on us going out for a work-related reason, and my girlfriend later acknowledged to me that that made her even more in love with me -- because, as she explained it, it showed that I had a life beyond her.

So my advice is, read Doc Love's system and use "challenge" -- but be careful to not be too much of a "challenge."

Because giving of yourself is at the center of a loving long-term relationship, I've concluded.



[This message has been edited by BGC (edited 08-27-2001).]
 

ill

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I agree with that to a degree BGC. I know u read stuff by sisonpyh on cliff's email list and he put it perfectly when he said something to the affect of 'give a girl what she wants, but dont give it to her the way she wants it.' This way u still r a sort of challenge, yet still can share yourself with her. This way u r not too boring to her.

I look back at my past and when i have done that it worked magically. Use it during sex also. ex: If a girl says she wants it harder, dont do it right on cue. Basically, be random and not programmable.
 

Mysteriousways

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What's up..BGC
I totally 100% disagree with you....Stick to the script...Be faithful to the " The System " not to your feelings....and you will last...The game never stops....even in a Long Term Relationship....You have to continue to be a challenge, continue to be a mystery..unavailable....say no to her at least once a month (Backbone)...Talk to her at least once a week..only to set up a date.....You occasionally chat w/ her on the phone..but keep it short and sweet..and hang up first..Be spontaneous..surprise her...sometimes...Don't react to all her test..& diffuse all her nagging w/ humor...Only reveal low-risk info...never high risk..it jump back at you in the future and bite you in the ass.....Only reveal info...on a Don't ask, Don't tell policy...Always keep things light...No complaining or whining ever...Always let her do the touching....

P.S. Don't go against the ingrediants that made you successful...
Pimpin' Ken said " All these new pimps want to upgrade and make deals with the hoes by giving them half the money...." Stick to the rules of the game....Don't get lovey dovey...If you do you will suffer the consequences...You might not see it now..but you will...
 

Sir_Chancealot

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BGC is right; however, I would say that you wouldn't do that so soon. The type of behavior that you are describing would be more appropriate for when you are engaged or married. Believe it or not, that is the type of behavior that a normal woman would expect in a marriage (excluding the drama queens). When a woman marries, she is trusting you to be her security and stability.
 

DeVanTe

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BGC i completely agree with you. I think there is a time when you are going to have to lay aside the doc love system and go with your feelings. Doc loves system may be a good one, but you also have to go with what you feel. Once your girl of your dreams is in love with you then just go with your own feelings.

Every girl is different, dont play them like a game. Its all about sharing feelings and emotions.
 

AlfredB18

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Originally posted by Mysteriousways:
What's up..BGC
I totally 100% disagree with you....Stick to the script...Be faithful to the " The System " not to your feelings....and you will last...The game never stops....even in a Long Term Relationship....You have to continue to be a challenge, continue to be a mystery..unavailable....say no to her at least once a month (Backbone)...Talk to her at least once a week..only to set up a date.....You occasionally chat w/ her on the phone..but keep it short and sweet..and hang up first..Be spontaneous..surprise her...sometimes...Don't react to all her test..& diffuse all her nagging w/ humor...Only reveal low-risk info...never high risk..it jump back at you in the future and bite you in the ass.....Only reveal info...on a Don't ask, Don't tell policy...Always keep things light...No complaining or whining ever...Always let her do the touching....

P.S. Don't go against the ingrediants that made you successful...
Pimpin' Ken said " All these new pimps want to upgrade and make deals with the hoes by giving them half the money...." Stick to the rules of the game....Don't get lovey dovey...If you do you will suffer the consequences...You might not see it now..but you will...
Gotta completely disagree. Doc could have put it a lot more simple (and sold lots fewer books) if he just copied the beer commercial and said, "Be your own dog!" At least, don't bow down to a chick.
Eventually, you have to lose the training wheels and do things on your own, right?

Forget challenge this and challenge that....If a girl is madly in love with you--the point of the System, no?--it's usefullness is going to be outlasted if you keep carrying on with the act.

If a girl is nuts about you, almost nothing outside of treating her like the plague will keep her mind off of you. I know. I did the "plague" thing and I had to hear about it the hard way.

Example: "short and sweet" with the calls? Well, like I said, if the girl likes you enough, wishing her "Happy Birthday" on the phone for 45 minutes on her B-day will do nothing bad for you. Been there, done that. Gotta keep the convo productive, though, in most cases.

Say "no" once a month? What? I call the shots now, so I'll say whatever I want to keep her from being in the uncomfortable role of making a decision.

Being unavailable? Well, I have nights where i put the posse ahead of the woman, so that takes care of that.

Women doing all the touching? Well, if your girl was a former anorexic, you've just sent her back into another tailspin right there. If she likes you, tickle the hell out of her until she wets her shorts!

Ask anyone who's still married and had a 50th anniversary and they'll likely have no clue about any 'system'. The game is still the same. Some complicate it more.
 

RockandRoll!

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exactly al....call the shots.choose the pals over the girlfriend on occassion.dont let women break your stride.no is the best thing you can say to women....but they know a secret remedy to get by the big no.sex!nobody has the power to say no to a girl when she got the horniest look on her face.after sex how can you say no.im in such a happy world im still saying yes after sex.haha.all my girlfriends always found that was checkmate on me.i gotta learn to resist that sexthing this time.
 
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