Another question for the old vets...about "vetting"

[btownbuck2012]

Good article here from Rollo's blog on how to "vet" a worthy woman for an LTR or marriage.

https://therationalmale.com/2015/10/10/the-vetting-process/

I've bolded some sentences within a few of the more intriguing paragraphs from the article below, especially what's underlined in the third paragraph.



"However, we weren’t discussing non-exclusive dating/****ing; we’re discussing making an investment in a woman we’re vetting for our own parental investment. When you consider the all-downside risks a man must wager on that investment it behooves him to be his most particular about that woman’s sexual past and the consequences that YOU will be burdened with if you don’t vet wisely.

So, now that we understand the latent purpose of this social convention, let me explain to every gentleman reading – vetting a woman’s sexual past is not just your prerogative, but an absolute imperative to the health of any future relationship you hope to have with her. When you consider the dire risks you are essentially setting yourself up for – risk no woman will EVER acknowledge or appreciate – the single most important thing you can do is vet that woman’s sexual past.

That doesn’t mean you make weak, DLV, overt inquiries about her past. It means you subtly, covertly and discretely pick up on the many cues and tells she will reveal that past with. Most men would rather use a direct approach to this, and while there’s merit to that, it’s far better to do your vetting by drawing out freely offered information. It’s much more honest and reliable. Once you go the direct route the jig is up and she will play the role she thinks you expect from her, not the honest one you need to make your determinations."

So my question is:

So for you guys that have been around a while, what are some of the subtle clues or tells that a woman with a high partner count or overly slutty past will give off during the course of a relationship that let you know she's not LTR or Wife material? I'm looking for things that most guys wouldn't notice, i.e. not that she really seems to know what she's doing in bed or she openly talks about all her former lovers. I'm looking for things that a woman who is really trying to hide her past from her man would convey subconsciously through her mannerisms, actions and behaviors over time.

 

[Desdinova]

what are some of the subtle clues or tells that a woman with a high partner count or overly slutty past will give off during the course of a relationship that let you know she's not LTR or Wife material?

You're looking at the wrong side of the coin. You need to be looking for clues that she has NOT had a high partner count. Some of those would be the following:

- Her age
- When she lost her virginity (if she has)
- Her performance in the bedroom
- She may actually admit she has a very low partner count

Women are willing to admit when they're inexperienced. However, women who have rode the c0ck carousel will not admit that they've done so for fear of being labelled a wh0re.

If you're wanting to make her the mother of your children, you really need to take High Score Theory into account. If you're not at the top, then she's not 100% devoted to you.

 

[The Duke]

So for you guys that have been around a while, what are some of the subtle clues or tells that a woman with a high partner count or overly slutty past will give off during the course of a relationship that let you know she's not LTR or Wife material? I'm looking for things that most guys wouldn't notice, i.e. not that she really seems to know what she's doing in bed or she openly talks about all her former lovers. I'm looking for things that a woman who is really trying to hide her past from her man would convey subconsciously through her mannerisms, actions and behaviors over time.

-Pay very close attention to her mannerisms the first few times she gets naked in your bedroom. A girl with high partner count will be very comfortable taking off her clothes and walking around naked in your house. After sechs a highly experienced woman won’t cover up her boobs when she gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and clean up. She won’t put her panties or shirt back on. She’ll be totally ok with walking around naked in front of you. She will be as comfortable as a prostitute or a $tripper being naked around you.


-She’ll also be totally down for putting out on a first date.


-The sooner you have “kinky” sechs with her, the higher the partner count. She’ll want hotter sechs sooner. The standard bedroom sechs won’t be enough to quench her desire.


-If her emotions are all over the map, her pu$$y will be too. These types lack self control.


-If she watches porn, has a lot of sechs toys….she’s had a high partner count.


-Girls with high testosterone levels are a good candidate for high partner counts. Look for forearm/facial hair.

-If she gives great blow jobs..........she's had a lot of practice and watched a lot of p0rn.


-Girls that accuse you of being a player and or want to know how many girls you’ve been with are simply “projecting”. It’s a dead give away every time that they are a slut.


-She’ll be cynical, hardened, daddy issues, very forthcoming about her past. There are so many $trippers that have this persona. Escpecially the older ones.


-If she has traveled a bunch of places…..you can’t bet she suhked a lot of cahk. Girls don’t pay for trips, rich guys do.


-If she never takes a break between relationships.


-Constant **** Tests that never stop.


-Judge her by the friends she keeps.


-She is not feminine. Zero Sweetness. Cusses a lot. The innocent little girl inside is missing.


-She will come from a bad family background. She might even try and hide it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

-Pay very close attention to her mannerisms the first few times she gets naked in your bedroom. A girl with high partner count will be very comfortable taking off her clothes and walking around naked in your house. After sechs a highly experienced woman won’t cover up her boobs when she gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and clean up. She won’t put her panties or shirt back on. She’ll be totally ok with walking around naked in front of you. She will be as comfortable as a prostitute or a $tripper being naked around you.


-She’ll also be totally down for putting out on a first date.


-The sooner you have “kinky” sechs with her, the higher the partner count. She’ll want hotter sechs sooner. The standard bedroom sechs won’t be enough to quench her desire.


-If her emotions are all over the map, her pu$$y will be too. These types lack self control.


-If she watches porn, has a lot of sechs toys….she’s had a high partner count.


-Girls with high testosterone levels are a good candidate for high partner counts. Look for forearm/facial hair.

-If she gives great blow jobs..........she's had a lot of practice and watched a lot of p0rn.


-Girls that accuse you of being a player and or want to know how many girls you’ve been with are simply “projecting”. It’s a dead give away every time that they are a slut.


-She’ll be cynical, hardened, daddy issues, very forthcoming about her past. There are so many $trippers that have this persona. Escpecially the older ones.


-If she has traveled a bunch of places…..you can’t bet she suhked a lot of cahk. Girls don’t pay for trips, rich guys do.


-If she never takes a break between relationships.


-Constant **** Tests that never stop.


-Judge her by the friends she keeps.


-She is not feminine. Zero Sweetness. Cusses a lot. The innocent little girl inside is missing.


-She will come from a bad family background. She might even try and hide it.

^This is good stuff here.

 

[btownbuck2012]

You're looking at the wrong side of the coin. You need to be looking for clues that she has NOT had a high partner count. Some of those would be the following:

- Her age
- When she lost her virginity (if she has)
- Her performance in the bedroom
- She may actually admit she has a very low partner count

Women are willing to admit when they're inexperienced. However, women who have rode the c0ck carousel will not admit that they've done so for fear of being labelled a wh0re.

If you're wanting to make her the mother of your children, you really need to take High Score Theory into account. If you're not at the top, then she's not 100% devoted to you.

I definitely agree with you about your HST, I think it's a brilliant concept and totally true with women.

However, other than age, can't women lie and 'act' with a-lot of this stuff? Here's another good paragraph from an article by Rollo

"I posted this earlier on another subreddit but it ended up getting removed because of fighting in the comments. I’ll sum up what happened thus far. I met my wife 7 years ago, she was extremely picky when it came to sex. She told me she only has been with 1 other guy before. She would never give a blow job, only would do certain positions and found almost every sex act degrading. I was frustrated by this, but I really liked her and hoped over the years she would open up sexually. Over the years, it never got any better but I learned to get over it. Well I ended up finding an old video from her college days of her engaging in group sex with 6 other people 5 guys 1 girl. In the video she has anal sex, oral sex, gets double teamed, and yells multiple times in the video she is a “I am a filthy *****.” All of it she was enthusiastic about it. I ended up feeling really sad. I can understand certain stuff people don’t want to do, but it wasn’t the fact she didn’t want to do them. She didn’t want to do them with me but every other guy she was their *****. I was angry hurt and I ended up saying some stupid **** to my wife."

^ from reading that I guess I would need to automatically assume that a woman not wanting to do kinky stuff with me in the sack is more of a reflection of how she sees me as opposed to whether or not she is experienced. Same thing with the partner count, they can just lie. And yeah, for a one night stand or a 'plate' type of relationship, who cares?

But if you're thinking about something long term or marriage, I'm looking for stuff they do subconsciously that they would do inside and outside of the bedroom that would be major clues.

 

[GunShow85]

-Pay very close attention to her mannerisms the first few times she gets naked in your bedroom. A girl with high partner count will be very comfortable taking off her clothes and walking around naked in your house. After sechs a highly experienced woman won’t cover up her boobs when she gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and clean up. She won’t put her panties or shirt back on. She’ll be totally ok with walking around naked in front of you. She will be as comfortable as a prostitute or a $tripper being naked around you.

^
THIS

Excellent post. All of these are great.
I think women can put on an act and try to hide a lot of these "slut tells" (bad family, impulsive, kinky, emotional, put out too early, etc) for awhile.

But the casually nude is sure fire tell. A truly good girl will be very modest, especially early on. Whereas a stripper or any high-partner-count will be comfortable being nude even first time with someone. I think this also applies to men as it is just human nature that they more you are nude with different people, the more you get used to it. It's really no different than public speaking or anything that you get comfortable with experience. This is a great tell because unlike (daddy issues, etc) they aren't aware to hide it as a red flag.

I never thought of this but its is great indicator.

Why is high partner count a bad thing?
I think: -inability to pair bond, lots of exes, likely to cheat, impulsive, taking someone's leftovers, crazy/bpd

 

[btownbuck2012]

^


Why is high partner count a bad thing?
I think: -inability to pair bond, lots of exes, likely to cheat, impulsive, taking someone's leftovers, crazy/bpd

Yeah definitely all that stuff. Again, fine for a plate or a one night stand but very important to jump out ahead of this stuff before getting too emotionally invested in a girl or worse yet marrying her.

 

[The Duke]

If you want to truly know the behavior of a slut, go hang out with a known slut.

If you want to truly know the behavior of a winner, go hang out with a known winner.

And definitely, being comfortable nude applies to men(haha you guys can save the jokes). I've seen it with myself. There was a period of my life that I ran thru a lot of girls. I was so comfortable walking around some random girls place that I started to display the persona that a porn star does on screen. I'd done it so many times and had a ton of confidence in my looks and ability. Even got naked at a few pool parties. At one point I had a girl question how I was so confident and comfortable. ;-) I just smiled.

 

[Juanto]

On the other end of the spectrum, i´m currently seeing a girl who is very shy around me when she is naked, usually tries to cover up if I can see her naked even though she has a very slim and elegant body. How to cope with this? Does it get better in time? Never been with such a shy girl before, although she is around 35

 

[Desdinova]

Pay very close attention to her mannerisms the first few times she gets naked in your bedroom. A girl with high partner count will be very comfortable taking off her clothes and walking around naked in your house.

I'll be going against the grain on this one. I honestly believe that this behaviour is dependant on how she feels about her body. If she's comfortable with it, then she'll easily take her clothes off. If she's a little bit self-conscious, she just may keep it to herself. If she hates her body (regardless of how it looks), she'll say something stupid like "I'm shy".

I've been with low-mileage women who didn't say anything when getting naked. I've also been with women who've turned their odometer a few times and give me that "I'm shy" bull5hit. It really depends on how they feel about their physical appearance.

 

[sodbuster]

This is a repeat post, it applies almost every time. Women cant shut up. If You shut up and listen, they will tell you everything you need to know..... The girl who has been to Carnival in Brazil? Loves going to Deadwood for the biker rally? When she sat me down on the kitchen chair, wrapped her legs around the chair and did me..... I already knew that was coming, since she had talked.... She's never TOLD me, but since we were goofing around a couple years ago, she's dated one, lived with 2 that I know of. I'd say she's a high score kinda girl

 

[sazc]

I'll be going against the grain on this one. I honestly believe that this behaviour is dependant on how she feels about her body. If she's comfortable with it, then she'll easily take her clothes off. If she's a little bit self-conscious, she just may keep it to herself. If she hates her body (regardless of how it looks), she'll say something stupid like "I'm shy".

I've been with low-mileage women who didn't say anything when getting naked. I've also been with women who've turned their odometer a few times and give me that "I'm shy" bull5hit. It really depends on how they feel about their physical appearance.

I think you are both right. The behavior is dependent on how she feels about her body, but that self image could have been shaped by multiple partners.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Every time there is a sosuave thread about the traits that make a woman wife material, I find all of those traits to be unattractive. If a woman is shy, prudish, and sucks in bed, I don't even want to be around her, much less marry her. Plus, if she's really a good girl, she will be luring you into marriage, so you can become a monogamous, wage-slave baby-maker. That's what society thinks it means to be "good." I say fvck all that. Bring on the bad girls. I'll marry one if I want to, but at least she will be someone I enjoy being around.

 

[zekko]

You can tell a lot about a woman's sexual attitudes just by listening to what she says, especially what she brings up on her own. But her behavior has to be consistent with what she says.

One thing I like to do is observe how they behave when they are around other men, especially if they don't know you're watching. If they are overly flirtatious that's a big red flag obviously.

 

[GrayWolf76]

"Vetting" women is a great idea in theory. We typically come up with these concepts of vetting women after being burned in some kind of long term relationship. We base this need for vetting on the most recent failure and then we tend to lump all past failures in with the one so prescient in our most recent past. We ask ourselves how could she, how could I have been so blind, how could I find myself here yet again, etc. The problem with vetting is that the worst possible person to vet the girl is the dude who is banging her... you! I know this because I know I am horrible at this AND I had a professional career of vetting actual intelligence sources. By the way, a girl banging a dude is one of the better types of sources because men are absolutely stupid when it comes to "their" woman. When I fail at this, which is 100% of the ones I justify, I end up kicking myself years down the line. How could she pull the wool over my eyes? I'm smart, rational, methodical, I take my time, I pay attention and I test. The problem is no amount of rational methodology will convince you to PAY ATTENTION to the red flags glaring you in the face and she knows what you are doing. You won't succeed because you will justify her behavior, her past, her words, or whatever because you are with this woman for a reason that benefits you in the present and you will use that to justify your future with her. It may be sechs, validation, love, or whatever front she shows for however long, what she says to you, etc, etc. You are fulfilling her needs now and she will do anything to keep that source of hormone rush from you. Most guys do not have any type of vetting when it comes to women, and if they do, it's typical, simple high school gut feelings. If she's single, hot and fun, most guys will drop everything in a heartbeat and do anything to be with her. Be better than that. We as males place WAY too much weight on a woman's appearance and its totally BS that actually validates the BS lives many of these women live never needing to change or be anything other than an emotionally selfish child with nice tits and ass. So what CAN you do? Here is the main thing you need to look at and investigate: her past relationships, past people she fell for, and especially her babies daddy if she has kids. This is the one tell that women will always give you (and yes I know there are others) because in their minds they are absolutely justified in their reasoning. They will have a history of countless friends, ex lovers and even kids who will parrot their lines about past ex's. So lets take a look at what some of these BS red flags are:

1. Her ex was abusive
This is the one you will hear so many times from women with past serious relationships. I am in no way advocating for abuse, excusing violence against women or saying that abuse doesn't happen. It does and its horrible. I never hit women and I have had several BPD, rageful, bitchy, nagging and even violent women in my past and I have never laid a hand on any of them. What I will say is that each of these "crazy" women has had some kind of abuser in the past and usually a history of abusers. The bottom line is that women who are abused 1. like bad boys, 2. do not vet men for LTRs nor do they know what they want. They go with their emotions, 3. Were raised in a dysfunctional family and did not learn how to be a good partner (daddy issues), and this is the most important one, 4, they have a tendency for high drama and toxicity. Do not think that this is her past and she has changed. Even if they took tons of time out to be single and discover themselves, they have not changed that core inner child that is there somewhere and will eventually rise to the surface as her true self. UNLESS she has had some serious therapy and counselling in which she allows you to do couples counselling with, then its an absolute red flag. Avoid at all costs!!!
2. Her ex was a douche or a loser
This shows that she is a blamer, self-righteous c***. She chose to devote her time and life, spread legs, cohabitate, etc with a guy she views was a loser or douche. Eventually you will be a douche, loser, etc and she will cry on all her friends shoulders plus tell the next future guy how much of a douche you were so that he will make an effort not to be like you. End at hello with these.
3. Her ex never showed her any affection, was boring or cold
This is absolute nonsense. I guarantee you that in the honeymoon phase of their love there was not only affection, but it was HIGH passion. What happened was the butterflies ended and she moved on to the next one. You will just be her next fix of many and staying here will eventually warp your mind to oneitis, she's "different" and whatever other excuse your irrational mind will make.

So then, what to look for for a good woman? I don't know yet. Really I do not want to tell you any theories on this because I recognize my own shortcomings and failures so I do not want to mislead you. I suck at finding valid women for LTRs. I could say that I have had some successful relationships, but that is not true BECAUSE they all ended. Hopefully someone else can tell you what POSITIVE things to look for in a vetting process. I can't, but I know what NOT to look for.

 

[ubercat]

The old joke - heaven is British police, French food, German cars, and an Italian woman.

Hell is British food, French cars, German police... and an Italian woman.

The 19th century line was a lady in the living room, chef in the kitchen and hore/slut in the bedroom. I don't think many guys today would turn that down.