Another piece of the puzzle ?

[squirrels]

So i am suggesting that perhaps part of her attraction to the bad boy arises from her need to disown her own problematic behavior and attribute all problems to him, and his character defects.

Comments?

Interesting theory. Women more than anyone are creatures of habit. I've dated women who have gotten so used to having crummy boyfriends that their behavior tends to bring those qualities out even in good guys. They get so used to that idea of, "My life sucks, but at least I'm better than him" and they play the caring supporter on one hand and the blame-placer on the other hand.

 

[Trader]

Anyone wanna take a swing at my question? I'd be really interested to know or understand why a woman would want to get involved with(and try to fix) a guy with Bi-Polar Disorder or "mental issues", as I've always understood it that women are turned off by men like this.

Also, a guy who resorts to alcohol to forget his life problems, I've always understood it that women are not supposed to find him attractive, because they see it as "weak"?

Not ALL girls are attracted to alcoholics - only a certain type of girl is attracted to those guys

The bottom line is this: girls who 'got it together' will be attracted to guys who 'got it together' - and vice-versa with guys

Reflect on your own life. Can't you see that as you improved and become more of a man, your taste in girls improved? You do not put up with BS from girls any more and you go after the classy ones.

There are two types of girls who will be attracted to alcoholics and guys with BPD

#1 The girl whose life is a complete mess (i.e. victimhood mentality, unsatiable thrist for power and domination over men, self-pity issues) They will often try to hide their unhappiness by trying to *fix* another guy's messed up life.

[Side note: Did you notice that only AFCs and guys with 'issues' try to be captain-save-a-ho, while the 'well-adjusted' Don Juan avoids those girls like the plague?]

#2 The girl who grew up in a messed up family (and/or with a bad father figure) - she now thinks these alcoholics and psycho guys are the norm.

Whenever I meet a girl or a guy, and they say they have a bf or gf - I am always fascinated to meet their significant other. The type of partner they are with tells me a lot more about them, than all the BS coming out of their mouths

 

[jophil28]

Whenever I meet a girl or a guy, and they say they have a bf or gf - I am always fascinated to meet their significant other. The type of partner they are with tells me a lot more about them, than all the BS coming out of their mouths

Interesting comment, and true enough.

When I was doing my AA 'field service' it was common to receive a call or be contacted by a woman who wanted advice on how to get her husband to quit drinking.

I got pretty good at assessing the progression of HIS alcoholism just by listening to her craziness.
Of course she never would accept that she was powerless over his drinking.
Many of these wives / g/fs typically believed that I surely had some 'tricks' that I could teach them to show them how to get their guy to quit. So i sent them off to Al Anon . Only a small percentage attended and an even smaller number staying in that program after they realised that Al Anon was there to assist women to change their own behavior, NOT their husband's.

 

[jophil28]

"Normal Women" would be turned off by a guy who gets drunk and throws up on their $275.00 shoes. But the women who are drawn to these guys are NOT NORMAL. They think they can fix him. They "see" some kind of false potential in the man and want to bring it out.

They lie to themselves. Pure and simple..

Yep, true. These are the women who believe that their "love" can cure his addiction.

I remember my old sponsor chatting to me a long time ago about women who attach themselves to alcoholics.
" Jophil, these woman are sick and I think that they are sicker than we are. At least we are having loads of drunken fun !
But you need to know that there are a LOT of women out there who are attracted to men with problems like us. WE are in demand, son. In fact there are not enough of us to go around !"