Another Lady asking for advice

kathy

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Well for what its worth I did walk away in January. It wasnt the first time tho. He has me hooked. Im really just trying to understand what it is about him that Im having a hard time letting go of, and what that says about me
 

Latinoman

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kathy said:
Well for what its worth I did walk away in January. It wasnt the first time tho. He has me hooked. Im really just trying to understand what it is about him that Im having a hard time letting go of, and what that says about me
I personally believe he is probably a REAL DJ. In the sense that he has some qualities that over-shadow the fact he is not interested in committing with you or anyone.

I past history of cheating. The last two women that were involved with me in a SERIOUS and COMMITTED relationship sensed that about me (they suspected that I cheated in past relationships). And do you know what? They were willing to overlook that part of my past. They were willing to overlook a lot of things (although, I suspect that if I cheated on them, they would have dumped me) about my past. The reason was because I had qualities that far outweighted my past indiscretions.

I sense your situation is like that.

However, here is the difference...he is openly sleeping with another woman and he does not have ANY desire to be in a serious relationship with you (I am assuming you have asked for it and he declined).
 

kathy

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Gentlemen, thank you very much for all your input. It was much appreciated.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Latinoman

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iqqi said:
It says you are desperate. Now go read KILL THAT DESPERATION by the great Pook.
I would be careful with what I would share as men and women are DIFFERENT. There is not such thing as "female" DJs ad DJism is about masculinity.

I have always said that there are considerably more "quality women" than "Real DJs" (as defined by me) out there. And I am sure Kathy knows that too.

One of the reasons I am in a relationship (and not sleeping around) is because my current girlfriend treats me with respect. She is AVAILABLE for me. And she also knows when to say no and do not accept any disrespect. She also has other things that I like a lot (she is VERY sexy...VERY attractive...educated...professional...has NO "daddy" issues...it is not a single mother...and does not sleep around).

I preach men to become DJs...and women to become Quality women. I feel that the sooner you start working toward that (DJ and Quality Woman) the better.

Applying the advice designed for man...can actually back fire.
 

kathy

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Latinoman, my comment to iggi was a sarcastic comment and was not taken seriously. I know this advice is for men which is why I posted in the forum and not just read your articles. For some reason I get the impression that iggi may be female? Anyway, I do appreciate the advice given to me. Thanks
 

iqqi

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Latinoman said:
I would be careful with what I would share as men and women are DIFFERENT. There is not such thing as "female" DJs ad DJism is about masculinity.

I have always said that there are considerably more "quality women" than "Real DJs" (as defined by me) out there. And I am sure Kathy knows that too.

One of the reasons I am in a relationship (and not sleeping around) is because my current girlfriend treats me with respect. She is AVAILABLE for me. And she also knows when to say no and do not accept any disrespect. She also has other things that I like a lot (she is VERY sexy...VERY attractive...educated...professional...has NO "daddy" issues...it is not a single mother...and does not sleep around).

I preach men to become DJs...and women to become Quality women. I feel that the sooner you start working toward that (DJ and Quality Woman) the better.

Applying the advice designed for man...can actually back fire.
Most of the Pook articles and the DJ Bible material are about respecting yourself, and being a better person. It does apply to women. You just have to read between the lines. Of course I didn't apply anything he said about how to bulk up and not be skinny. But his wisdom applies to men, AND women, when it comes to relationships, especially the one with yourself.

Besides, we have different opinions on what is masculine and feminine. I think yours is way too extreme, but on the right track.

As far as the Bible goes, not being desperate, respecting oneself, and improving oneself, are neither masculine nor feminine qualities, IMO.
 

Latinoman

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iqqi said:
Most of the Pook articles and the DJ Bible material are about respecting yourself, and being a better person. It does apply to women. You just have to read between the lines. Of course I didn't apply anything he said about how to bulk up and not be skinny. But his wisdom applies to men, AND women, when it comes to relationships, especially the one with yourself.

Besides, we have different opinions on what is masculine and feminine. I think yours is way too extreme, but on the right track.

As far as the Bible goes, not being desperate, respecting oneself, and improving oneself, are neither masculine nor feminine qualities, IMO.

Here is the thing...I don't like reading between lines when it comes to SERIOUS advice that can change people's life.

POOK seems to be some kind of legend for some of you. Personally, I don't know much about the guy...so, I have to take everything he writes with a grain of salt. He writes well...and so does a lot of people.

My advice is based on personal experience...and based on the actual person asking the advice. My advice to Kathy could be completely different to advice I might give Penkitten...if both women were under the same circunstances. As advice can change depending on who the "players" are. Heck, my advice to Kathy can change if I get additional information that can make me reconsider.

Now...I agree that self-improvement (career, etc.) is sexless.
 

azanon

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I propose we either move the thread or change the heading for this forum which reads:

"A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men."

Is there a catch-all thread somewhere posted by the administrator which explains the obvious contradiction between these forum headings and what actually is allowed here? Heck, even our largest "Don Juan Discussion" heading says: "Discuss meeting, dating, and attracting women with others. Ask a question or give advice." Lets maybe sticky this thread, if it exists, so I'm a little less confused!

(No offense intended, Kathy)
 
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