Anger

[Divorced w 3]

Be kind to yourselves, what may seem like an unforgivable mistake may be the symptoms of a personal illness. Get your selves checked, including mentally and emotionally.

 

[jhonny9546]

Found this interesting video.


Basically, this woman is suggesting that when a woman teases you too much, you should lose control and get angry, raising your voice, rather than resolving the situation in an assertive manner or by withdrawing your attention from her. In this scenario, you would be exhibiting a primal attraction for her and, therefore, not be considered a "reactive" man, as discussed in the forum.
If a woman teases you, it is because she wants to bring out the lion in you, which increases your value in her eyes.
This dynamic is commonly observed in average relationships. For instance, many women infuriate their husbands, who may respond with arrogance or even violence. There is a lot of discussion about this topic on the forum, especially in the thread I created.

Then here at 11:00 She says that a man should not be reactive

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Basically, this woman is suggesting that when a woman teases you too much, you should lose control and get angry, raising your voice, rather than resolving the situation in an assertive manner or by withdrawing your attention from her. In this scenario, you would be exhibiting a primal attraction for her and, therefore, not be considered a "reactive" man, as discussed in the forum.
If a woman teases you, it is because she wants to bring out the lion in you, which increases your value in her eyes.
This dynamic is commonly observed in average relationships. For instance, many women infuriate their husbands, who may respond with arrogance or even violence. There is a lot of discussion about this topic on the forum, especially in the thread I created.

Psychobabble BS, this woman has no psychological insights. The psychologically healthy way to respond to teasing is by teasing back. And being better at it. Teasing is behaviour to increase intimacy, not a way to test your lover's boundaries.

Women aren't attracted more to men they can manipulate into emotional outbursts. They might enjoy the momentary feeling of power, but at the same time it diminishes the respect she has for her man. That this woman gets aroused from men losing their sh!t shows that she's attracted to negative male aggression. And she thinks other women are the same, whereas most women feel unsafe when a man is not in control of his emotions, especially aggressive displays of anger.

 

[Sega Genesis]

That this woman gets aroused from men losing their sh!t shows that she's attracted to negative male aggression. And she thinks other women are the same, whereas most women feel unsafe when a man is not in control of his emotions, especially aggressive displays of anger.

As a woman, there can be a paradox when it comes to being sexually attracted and long term relationship.

Long term we want "safe" but that initial sexual attraction often stems from feeling uncertain and unsafe.

I watched the video and my sense was she isn't saying women are attracted to negative male aggression.

What she's saying is women are attracted to men who don't fear expressing anger when warranted, when he's bothered by a certain behavior to speak up, assertively and honestly making no apologies.

Versus acting aloof, withdrawing, employing "silence and distance" as is so often advocated here.

Personally I view the former as strong and the latter as weak.

Below is an article from Psychology Today discussing why some women (certainly not all) are sexually attracted to the darker sides of a man's personality. Which does include anger when warranted. Not "losing his shyt," that's extreme. There's a balance.

A good example is Jeff Bridges in the movie "Against All Odds," great flick!

The Sexual Appeal of Dark Personalities

There’s an interesting paradox in the literature on attraction. While people say they’re attracted to nice partners, they simultaneously report attraction to "dark" personalities.

www.google.com

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Below is an article from Psychology Today discussing why some women (certainly not all) are sexually attracted to the darker sides of a man's personality. Which does include anger when warranted. Not "losing his shyt," that's extreme. There's a balance.

If we can't understand nuances, let's start taking quotes out of context and projecting our opinion.

 

[jhonny9546]

Women aren't attracted more to men they can manipulate into emotional outbursts

I'm with you on this, although it is repeated in some places that women do it to be punished. Sometimes they tease the man because he is "too lazy", to make him change, to make him become aggressive so that he can put them back in their place when they make a mistake. My grandmother told me this too, who did it a few times with my grandfather, but she did it to test if my grandfather was in control of the situation. Now I don't know if it's normal, but this is what she told me.

What she's saying is women are attracted to men who don't fear expressing anger when warranted, when he's bothered by a certain behavior to speak up, assertively and honestly making no apologies.

Versus acting aloof, withdrawing, employing "silence and distance" as is so often advocated here.

Personally I view the former as strong and the latter as weak.

That's exactly what I was talking about. They would you to be loud when you have to put them back. Not that you have an emotional outburst.

Now, what a man absolutely must have in his skillset, is the way he responds to different situations, so knowing when to use detachment and when to be direct.

Personally, I'm working on this since I'm really the "passive" version of the masculine energy, so I need to know when to reply with "tone" of voice.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm with you on this, although it is repeated in some places that women do it to be punished.

No, they do it to get attention. They want a reaction, and if they cannot get a positive reaction, a negative reaction will suffice.