Thanks Harry Don't have much time for books but I can workout in front of vids so I ve signed up for your OLD course. Overall agree it was a feeble effort. Few questions in bold
1. The "coffee date" is only supposed to be used for girls you meet online because you haven't had any public interaction with them. You actually met this girl out in public, so you should have proposed a dinner date or drinks (not a big fan of the "drinks" date, but still an upgrade from coffee).
Y do u like dinner. SS consensus is an action date or drinks basically coz if she doesn't want a 2nd drink yr done
2. More importantly: when you asked for her number, you should have just asked for the number and not proposed any kind of date. Then, when you called her a few days later, you would have asked for a date at that time.
so u d take the good convo let's continue it some time line?
3. On an approach, kinoing isn't necessary - in fact, it can actually lessen your chances of getting with her. She may LOOK comfortable with you being all in her space like that, but women have learned to get used to guys doing this despite how uncomfortable it makes them feel (basing this off girls I've surveyed - they get creeped out but don't want to be rude or hurt your feelings by telling you to stop). Flirting is perfectly okay, though.
interesting. In the 59 seconds book study is quoted. Cold approach with a Yr cute' line got digits 10% Adding a touch on arm got 20%
4. The "good friend" line? No bueno. Talking to her for too long? No bueno - once you got the number, you should have been gooooooone.
Totally agree I think it broke at this point
5. Even if you made the mistake of setting up a date on the spot, you set it up way too far in advance. Since you were already in the throws of asking her out, it would have been better to set it for a couple days later, like Tuesday or Wednesday. If you had waited to ask her out once you got the number, you could have called her Wednesday for a date on Thursday. The point is: once you actually ask for the date, it shouldn't be set up more than 2 days in the future, lest she become less excited about going out with you.
[Agree
6. She got you off the phone in 2 minutes because you were calling her to do idle chatter - no bueno. The phone should only be used in the beginning to ask for dates. If you're not asking for dates, you're wasting her time.
I d previously said I d ring to make arrangements. This call was to make the date
7. Based on what you're telling us your motivation was - i.e. to make her an "FWB" or a quick lay - she probably felt this and wasn't feeling you were genuinely interested. Which, if you weren't, you shouldn't have been wasting her time. I don't know if she close in age to you, but if she's over 35 she ain't got time to be messing around with dudes that just want to hit & split.
She had major red flags no job and smoker. Was about practice. So r u not in favour of spinning plates in the early days?
8. You kept talking to her after you set up the date? No bueno. Once the date is set up, you don't talk to her again until you're picking her up/meeting for the date. All that extra contact that you think she needs to increase interest in you... is actually making her LOSE interest. (I wrote a whole book about mistakes just like this, which you can find at the link in my signature.)
PH call was to re-engage after she'd cracked out over me not sending my FB
9. And then, you made the #1 mistake almost ALL guys make that causes a woman to change her mind: you sent a "reminder" text. Dude, she doesn't have Alzheimer's disease - she doesn't need to be reminded of a date, especially if she has interest in you. However, sending that text CAN actually cause her to re-think what that interest may be, and result in a cancellation. Which, in this case, is exactly what happened.
Many schools of thought on this one. Happy to try it yr way next time
10. NO WEEKEND DATES when you first start dating a woman. Fridays and Saturdays are "couple" days, and you two are not a couple yet, nor does she need to get am impression from you that you're already thinking about her in that light. In an ideal situation, you would have gotten her number on Sunday, called Wednesday and asked her out for Thursday or Sunday.
Agree
!
1. The "coffee date" is only supposed to be used for girls you meet online because you haven't had any public interaction with them. You actually met this girl out in public, so you should have proposed a dinner date or drinks (not a big fan of the "drinks" date, but still an upgrade from coffee).
Y do u like dinner. SS consensus is an action date or drinks basically coz if she doesn't want a 2nd drink yr done
2. More importantly: when you asked for her number, you should have just asked for the number and not proposed any kind of date. Then, when you called her a few days later, you would have asked for a date at that time.
so u d take the good convo let's continue it some time line?
3. On an approach, kinoing isn't necessary - in fact, it can actually lessen your chances of getting with her. She may LOOK comfortable with you being all in her space like that, but women have learned to get used to guys doing this despite how uncomfortable it makes them feel (basing this off girls I've surveyed - they get creeped out but don't want to be rude or hurt your feelings by telling you to stop). Flirting is perfectly okay, though.
interesting. In the 59 seconds book study is quoted. Cold approach with a Yr cute' line got digits 10% Adding a touch on arm got 20%
4. The "good friend" line? No bueno. Talking to her for too long? No bueno - once you got the number, you should have been gooooooone.
Totally agree I think it broke at this point
5. Even if you made the mistake of setting up a date on the spot, you set it up way too far in advance. Since you were already in the throws of asking her out, it would have been better to set it for a couple days later, like Tuesday or Wednesday. If you had waited to ask her out once you got the number, you could have called her Wednesday for a date on Thursday. The point is: once you actually ask for the date, it shouldn't be set up more than 2 days in the future, lest she become less excited about going out with you.
[Agree
6. She got you off the phone in 2 minutes because you were calling her to do idle chatter - no bueno. The phone should only be used in the beginning to ask for dates. If you're not asking for dates, you're wasting her time.
I d previously said I d ring to make arrangements. This call was to make the date
7. Based on what you're telling us your motivation was - i.e. to make her an "FWB" or a quick lay - she probably felt this and wasn't feeling you were genuinely interested. Which, if you weren't, you shouldn't have been wasting her time. I don't know if she close in age to you, but if she's over 35 she ain't got time to be messing around with dudes that just want to hit & split.
She had major red flags no job and smoker. Was about practice. So r u not in favour of spinning plates in the early days?
8. You kept talking to her after you set up the date? No bueno. Once the date is set up, you don't talk to her again until you're picking her up/meeting for the date. All that extra contact that you think she needs to increase interest in you... is actually making her LOSE interest. (I wrote a whole book about mistakes just like this, which you can find at the link in my signature.)
PH call was to re-engage after she'd cracked out over me not sending my FB
9. And then, you made the #1 mistake almost ALL guys make that causes a woman to change her mind: you sent a "reminder" text. Dude, she doesn't have Alzheimer's disease - she doesn't need to be reminded of a date, especially if she has interest in you. However, sending that text CAN actually cause her to re-think what that interest may be, and result in a cancellation. Which, in this case, is exactly what happened.
Many schools of thought on this one. Happy to try it yr way next time
10. NO WEEKEND DATES when you first start dating a woman. Fridays and Saturdays are "couple" days, and you two are not a couple yet, nor does she need to get am impression from you that you're already thinking about her in that light. In an ideal situation, you would have gotten her number on Sunday, called Wednesday and asked her out for Thursday or Sunday.
Agree
!
