And she says, "We're not having sex!"

[The Truth]

If the girl is pretty she doesn't need him for sexual pleasure, as it would be so easy for her to go anywhere and find a hunky guy who is more than willing to give it to her, I'm affraid that when it comes to sex and your girlfriend is gorgeous she is the one with all of the power, as there will be thousands of other hunks who she knows would love to do her over, so much for this modern day world of female equality, :box:

That is a really bad frame of mind there dude! You should learn that YOU are the prize and that she wants you as much if not more than you want her! If your girlfriend is the one with all the power, your relationship is seriously screwed up!

Of course, she could go and fvck a hunky guy, but then why would she choose a relationship with you? If she's the type to fvck around then seriously don't get involved with her!

 

[TheTrader]

PS: She has denied me sex before too.

what the fvck do you even know how to spell self-respect?WHAT THE ****

 

[Reverend]

thats a form of lmr, you need to do a freeze out, in fact, tell her you are glad she doesnt want to have sex, whip out a chess board or something and offer to play chess

 

[girlsarecrazy]

If the girl is pretty she doesn't need him for sexual pleasure, as it would be so easy for her to go anywhere and find a hunky guy who is more than willing to give it to her, I'm affraid that when it comes to sex and your girlfriend is gorgeous she is the one with all of the power, as there will be thousands of other hunks who she knows would love to do her over, so much for this modern day world of female equality, :box:

That is how i'm feeling. HB9+'s are fvcking hard to balance... Seriously.

 

[Soprano]

aha the part where you got mad made me lol

 

[anonymousguy]

You could've asked WHY she didn't want any sex with you, instead of being the 'perfect player'. That obviously did not work. Communication is the key!!!! She kissed you, why you need sex? Maybe she didn't feel like having sex. She's a woman, not a man. Men want sex 24/7, women... well less than 24/7

It seems like most problems on this board are because of misunderstanding women!!!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Wait till the next time she's horny or get her turned on and in the mood, then you say the same thing to her. Let her know how it feels and show that you can use sex to control her as much as she can use it against you.

This doesn't work. "Do unto others" does not apply when relationships are concerned.

 

[ssj245]

hmm.

Well, I think that her going to the wedding really made her feel more about the realtionship. Since a woman is te deciding factor when regarding sex, she wanted to test the realtionship and you to see if sex was all that you guys where about. She probably want to just talk and convo and connect for a while because after a wedding a woman gets all her emotions flowing and being around people reminds her of "hey long haul" or "in sickness or in health" so she got a little antzy. When a woman has sex there is still a part of her that makes her feel guilty at times and if the sex to talking ratio decreases at any time she may start to feel like a slut rather than your girl friend.

But its best to understand this and be cool about it, since she is also testing you and the only way to pass it is to pretend like it never happened. Honestly acting alpha or aggresive all the time like getting on top of her when her she says "No sex today" will only make her more frustrated since you dont care about what she just said and she will continue to test you unitl she feels she has more control and when she feels like she does she will not feel as attracted. Proving her wrong is worse than making her wonder why you didnt flinch.

I feel like all tests should be dealt with a serious tone and not a ****y funny answer. Idk why but I do feel that way, lets the woman know you recognize the test and that she should not pull anymore of this sh*t.

When she said

her: "We are not having sex today"
I would say
me: "why not?" (direct tone simple no emotions like ordering food at a fastfood drive thru) (I would like to test her back and mess with her head to see what she can pull out of her as*s on a short notice. Watch her fluster for words. Give her the look that you know its BS after she tells you why.
her: her reasoning
me: Alright tell me you want to do instead and Ill tell you if its a good idea.
her : blah blah

Then after the night is over, just take her home and just be the same person you are be funny serious or w/e you normally are. Then dont contact her for a while and when she is in the mood for sex tell her "not tonight, I have some other ideas" (give her a long look and say it slowly so she has time to understand why you said this)

She will think twice of not giving what you want to you.

 

[Roobs]

Fully agree with the above.....any yes she is immature....the fact that she says "we're not having sex today", instead of "im not in the mood" or some excuse...... says that the whole scenario was premeditated on her part, and that it was a **** test, even if SHE didnt know it.....


and yeah i think u did the right then packing up and driving her home.....but probly less "lets talk about it and sort it out" on your part (how long u known this girl 4 btw?)

 

[00Kevin]

you did the right thing

you acted on your gut reaction and you demanded respect. Good job

Now.. if you are a man you will just forget about her until she comes back to you. after all you are 'THE MAN' and you have many other women just waiting in line.

there isn't much more to think about.
She either is good to you or she isn't

 

[trance_addict]

Seems like theres more to this situation than he's telling us. I dont really believe that it was the "power" that was handed over, Its almost like she was expecting to say that. Usually, once I get a girl horny, it takes a bit more than "i dunno" to get her to change her mind, so It sounds a bit strange of her to ask you that and then say what she did.

I mean comon everyone, don't rule out the possibility that the GIRL might have a problem. Just because he posted a thread about the situation doesn't automatically deem him a pu$sy. Either theres more to the story (AFCish behavior prior to this specific night, or she simply has issues).

As for the girl, "girlsarecrazy", get rid of her. If you acted like a pu$sy before this, or she's just a problematic girl, your better off without her. Go start over and find someone else, you'll be much happier and drama free.

 

[Delta]

i don't agree that acting on the gut reaction was the best thing.

it DOES sound like a test.

and the best, most infuriating (to her) response would've been COMPLETE NONCHALANCE / BEMUSEMENT!

he let her push his buttons and that's essentially a show of weakness... not "stand up for yourself" strength.

the BEST thing to do would have been to laugh out loud, put a little pillow wall between them, say ok... and just watch the movie with a big grin - the mindset being "...as if!"

delta

 

[penkitten]

this test is called "let me see how long i can get him to spend time with me without having sex because it seems like every time we are together we have sex and i feel used, so lets see how he likes me now."

i do not think she intentionally meant to hurt your feelings or pride in the matter.
until chicks grow into a mature frame of mind, this is what becomes of things.
if you had just kept your cool and blown her off, it would have put her back on the level she needed.

however, now she thinks she has offended you and hurt your pride and feelings by the way you reacted. therefore, she thinks you really care about her and the relationship and should be willing to do just about anything you ask unless she is trying to wreck the whole thing.

seems to me, that the ball is in your court.

 

[TESV]

Oh My Lord

Something very similar happened to me and i FINALLY PUT MY FOOT DOWN!!!

In case people dont remember my case my ex came back a few weeks ago...

She said she has feelings for me still yadayadaya and we continue to have better sex in the last few weeks than in our 8 month relationship...

to make a long story short i went to her house today (lives with rents) she was still sleeping at 2pm (depressed and doesnt know what to do) so i snuck upstairs and woke her up with a beautiful lip locking kiss and added a little tounge she was shocked to see me as i was pissed that last night she wouldnt come over. i hungup on her and went to the bar anyway! I figured now id give it the last chance (after she broke my heart 2 months ago and left me i didnt deserve anything but her full attention this time) then she said whsat are u doing here i said showing you my new set of keys. she ran downstairs (car fanatic) and her jaw dropped when she looked at the sight of my new sl55 amg i told her what a bout a ride she smiled and said lets talk here im so busy today (wait a minute she just was sleeping) i didnt argue and said lets talk upstairs (kissing and hugging her, lifting her small body off the ground playing) she said no. Anyway i got her upstairs and she wouldnt touch me like before. she said were not having sex ur not getting ur way and im showering and going to NYC. I said to her this is the last chance would you come out with me tomorrow night and have a romantic evening with your love. she thought about it for a sec and said no i cant. I said ok, kissed her on the fourhead and walked out. i didnt even look back as i shut the door in her face. I love this girl to death BUT WE AS MEN NEED TO BE STRONGER and HOLD OUT instead of GIVING IN TO THESE BEASTS CALLED WOMEN. SHE had a heart (DEEP DOWN INSIDE) but enjoys the game. SHe always says i get everything i want well i think she loves being the only thing in life that i cant control. Now she gets a time out...besides i have to prove my point esecially after i told her to not call me anymore. Last time it was 2-3 weeks and she ran back lets see whats in store now. All in all it seems as though the power of the ***** is ruling the country...there needs to be more power of the **** around here and im as guilty as anyone for giving in i just have to be strong and drill myself with the following quote," I AM THE PRIZE, I AM THE PRIZE" because i am Im done ranting!

I came to the conclusion that my HB9 is immature. The past two days i've had her over, isolated and we fvcked. Today was the third day in a row and we went out to a wedding all day long and then came back to another empty house with just me and her.

She wanted to watch the movie that we didn't end up finishing off yesterday because we got down and dirty... So we're in my bed cuddling and watching the movie, she turns over and kisses me and holds me tightly, holds my hand every 10-15 minutes throughout the movie. Well the movie's over, she turns around and starts kissing me a couple times, little pecks. Then she straight up asks me, "What do you want to do now?" I'm like I dunno. She then says straight up, "We're not having sex today". I flip out and feel disrespected. I told her that and explained myself. I don't understand this girl. We had great passionate sex the past two days and she for some reason thinks another day wouldn't be right and she straight up tells me what we're not going to do.

I told her that's disrespectful to say that to me and it's like her assuming that all I want is sex. I told her, "You don't do that to a guy. That's offensive" and I walk away and grab my keys to take her home. I explained a little more why it made me feel like sh!t and i acted shady for a little and she eventually realized and apoligized to me.

What do you guys think of this? How should I have responded to that? I think this girl has the idea of having sex a lot will make her a dirty... even when she's only sharing it with the person she has feelings for. How do i get this fool to ack right? She pisses me off and I shouldn't have to deal with this.

PS: She has denied me sex before too.

Edit:
Listen up guys. I didn't get upset that we weren't going to have sex. I could easily do it another day... but:

I was upset at her because she told me that assuming I wanted sex from her. Our conversation was like this

[Movie cuts off, were in bed, she cuddles with me and kisses me]

Her: What do you wanna do now?
Me: I dunno
Her: We're not having sex
Me: Ugh.. okay... why would you tell me that?
Her: I'm just letting you know.
Me: Okay whatever [I get up and walk downstairs and she follows me while I act all independent searching for my shoes and keys]

 

[TESV]

penkitten

what do you make of my sit

this test is called "let me see how long i can get him to spend time with me without having sex because it seems like every time we are together we have sex and i feel used, so lets see how he likes me now."

i do not think she intentionally meant to hurt your feelings or pride in the matter.
until chicks grow into a mature frame of mind, this is what becomes of things.
if you had just kept your cool and blown her off, it would have put her back on the level she needed.

however, now she thinks she has offended you and hurt your pride and feelings by the way you reacted. therefore, she thinks you really care about her and the relationship and should be willing to do just about anything you ask unless she is trying to wreck the whole thing.

seems to me, that the ball is in your court.

 

[Bloke]

You little b*tch !

Talk about taking things too seriously. You acted more like a women than she did I hope you relize.

LOL @ you acting like you didn't just wanna f*ck her. If she were ugly, would you still 'value her friendship' ? No.

 

[penkitten]

what do you make of my sit

this is the same girl we talked about the other nite?

 

[Docs]

Something very similar happened to me and i FINALLY PUT MY FOOT DOWN!!!

In case people dont remember my case my ex came back a few weeks ago...
[snip]
..Anyway i got her upstairs and she wouldnt touch me like before. she said were not having sex ur not getting ur way and im showering and going to NYC. I said to her this is the last chance would you come out with me tomorrow night and have a romantic evening with your love. she thought about it for a sec and said no i cant. I said ok, kissed her on the fourhead and walked out. i didnt even look back as i shut the door in her face.
[snip]

Good job, but..

..when she comes back for that romantic night out, what will you do?
Will you either;

a) Ignore it, go to bar, or;
b) Go have sex with her, because she'll be gone the next day anyways

Haha.

 

[Nex]

I didn't read the other replies.

This situation is so easy to defuse if you've fvcked her before.

- "We're not having sex."
- "OH really? (saying in a ****y / jockingly way)" then kiss & foreplay, followed by sex.

 

[unorthodox]

I think she did that because she wanted you do to same thing you did the day before while watching this same movie. You took this watching the movie for the second time thing as let's watch it, she wanted you to f.cuk her just the way you done yesterday. So that's the problem. That "what do you want to do now" thing you should have said I want to make love to you, or whatever..... Since you said I don't know she's ****ing with you now, because you pissed her off. It is her way of getting control over you, at least some....... That's what I think, but I must warn you I only started DJing this past weekend.


Another thing, she's now using her ***** to "control" you. That's when everything else apparently failed. It's her last resort...... It could be that she wants you long term after getting silly during that wedding.

Now that I think I'd f.cuk with her brain. I'd take her out of town for a trip, or something to indicate I'm interested in her long term, no f.cuking just good times. Then the next day pretend to loose interest in her.