Analyze this scenario from the past

[GtarPlayr73]

After years of working in the "real world", i went back to college full-time at the age of 26. It was a Christian college and i was a softcore fundamentalist Christian while i was there and a few years afterward. During my senior year, i enrolled in Environmental Science class. Every single day of the class, i sat next to this cute and down-to-earth blond. We had a very easy-going and friendly chemistry between us. She mentioned a boyfriend from back home in New Jersey from time to time. Anyway, i graduated in 2003 and went to Florida and Texas for flight training. When i got out of flight training, i decided to settle in the area in which my alma mater was located. It was the fall semester and the girl i had sat next to was finishing her senior year. i called her up and we made arrangments for her to come over to my apartment and watch a movie. She arrived and we chatted a little bit before getting the movie rolling with the lights off. Mind you, this was the first time she and i EVER hung out outside of class and here we were in MY apartment with the lights out. I laid back on my bed and she sat in a chair a few feet away. We didn't chat a whole lot during the movie. I thought of asking her to join me on the bed, but was afraid of scaring her off/offending her. And she did still have that boyfriend which made her pretty much off-limits in my then-AFC mind. AND remember, we were both Christians, supposedly committed to preserving our bodies for our eventual spouses. She didn't stick around for very long after the movie finished.

Not the most complicated scenario in the world, but it's been a scenario i've post-gamed every now and again since...

Do you think she may have been open to something happening between us that night? I mean, she came to my apartment without even insisting on getting re-acquainted over coffee beforehand. Given that she was in my apartment, with the lights out, what do you think were the chances that she would have responded favorably to an invitation to join me on the bed and more?

 

[The Zen Energy]

The chances seem pretty High.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's an asignment for you. Go to your church (or your family's church if you don't go regular) and take mental notes on all the women you see there. Be real particular as far as appearances go and any conversations you can eavesdrop on paying particular attention to statements about personal lives or issues that may relate to their opinions of dating or marriage. You will begin to see consistent patterns present themselves. A lot of Christian women follow very predictable schemas. Most will be overweight, but those who aren't will almost universally have that christian model look to them, most will shun direct discussions about sex, most will expect to be married (probably sooner than they ought to), most will complain about there being a lack of 'marriageable' men with sufficient dedication to women as it should be their duty to do so. Those not overweight will tend to be wallflowers (or self preceived wallflowers) or 'recovering sluts' in church for the first time in a while wanting to make a fresh start. One unifying understanding that virtually all of them will have will be a belief in a ONE (ONEitis) predestined husband ordained for them and will respond to the soul-mate myth accordingly. This is also a manifestation of the 'entitlement' dynamic which is rife in almost every religious group, not just christianity.

It's been my experience that the best 'party girl' in the world will go religious after marriage anyway. It serves the security need. This is why you'll see membership of single women in a congregation will always outnumber that of single men. Men's primary motivator is sex and this conflicts not only with dogma, but a woman's security drive. Generally, unless he's been raised under religious conditions, men will not spontaneously become religious without a motivator (such as a religious wife/girlfriend). Men go fishing where the fish are biting and the bite's not on at church. Women do this too, especially attractive ones. An otherwise 'worldly' woman will tend to find religion once the possibility of marriage is on the table. The time comes for them to 'get right' now that they've had their fun and traditional marriage seems the most stable to raise children in once they've found the Nice Guy to cling to. The natural progression of this is often to 'rediscover' their religious sides in order to effect it. That's not to discount the validity of the choice to do so or question the genuiness of it, but it occurs conveniently and men who assumed their wife to be will remain as hot and nasty as she was when they were single end up with an unpleasant and unforseen reality.

 

[grinder]

It’s utterly irrelevant.

Woulda-coulda-shoulda’s never answer your questions regarding women.

You cannot figure this out logically. Stop it

If we were all in a big auditorium then everyone would answer in unison:

THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS TO MAKE A MOVE

 

[blueguy]

It's been my experience that the best 'party girl' in the world will go religious after marriage anyway. It serves the security need. This is why you'll see membership of single women in a congregation will always outnumber that of single men. Men's primary motivator is sex and this conflicts not only with dogma, but a woman's security drive. Generally, unless he's been raised under religious conditions, men will not spontaneously become religious without a motivator (such as a religious wife/girlfriend). Men go fishing where the fish are biting and the bite's not on at church. Women do this too, especially attractive ones. An otherwise 'worldly' woman will tend to find religion once the possibility of marriage is on the table. The time comes for them to 'get right' now that they've had their fun and traditional marriage seems the most stable to raise children in once they've found the Nice Guy to cling to. The natural progression of this is often to 'rediscover' their religious sides in order to effect it. That's not to discount the validity of the choice to do so or question the genuiness of it, but it occurs conveniently and men who assumed their wife to be will remain as hot and nasty as she was when they were single end up with an unpleasant and unforseen reality.

Oh you are sooo right about this. THREE girls I dated who "didn't care" or "didn't know" or were self-proclaimed agnostic and slept around a LOT -- INSTANTLY changed themselves to Christian or Mormon on their Myspace pages after they got married. TWO of them even went from self-proclaimed drinkers (yes) to self-proclaimed non-drinkers (no)! Ha! WTH. When this happened, my only thought was "hmm, that was convenient for them... all those years of sleeping with tons of guys (including myself) and now they're suddenly avid Christians... wonder what other unexpected changes they are making toward the nice guys they married." One has to imagine an act can only go on for so long! These same girls ALL got married aftr datng only a few months to less than a year. I'm sure they were DYING to get married before their boyfriend could see through their act!

 

[joekerr31]

chics arent stupid. they know that if they go over to some guys apartment for some 1:1 time, just the two of them, that there is a very real possibility that he's going to make a move on her for sex.

they know this.

so why, if they know this, do they put themselves in these scenarios if they aren't interested in you?

remember, chics crave attention / validation. so that kind of scenario is the perfect ego boost. she comes over, you make a move on her, then she slaps your face or something and says 'i have a boyfriend. im saving myself for marriage. how dare you!"

then walks away happy as a pig in sh*t knowing that you wanted her.

as for whether you would have got her? who knows, maybe. youll never know whether she was there as a friend, an attention wh*re or if she wanted to get laid. 99% of guys will never know if a chic is just flirting with them, messing with them, or is genuinely interested in them - so dont bother trying to figure it out.

lesson learned? always make a move. better to fail and know the score than to not try and never know what the score was.

worst that happens is that she has no interest and you next her.

 

[decades]

Your goal should be to get your faced slapped. and when it happens, give her a Huge smile (imagine what Colin Farrell would do in this situation). The answer is YES she was open to it. And if she wasn't so what.

 

[Interceptor]

Rejection is always better than regret,

 

[STR8UP]

When this happened, my only thought was "hmm, that was convenient for them... all those years of sleeping with tons of guys (including myself) and now they're suddenly avid Christians... wonder what other unexpected changes they are making toward the nice guys they married."

Which is exactly why I would rather meet my future spouse at just about any place other than church. If I went to church, that is.

 

[edger]

chics arent stupid. they know that if they go over to some guys apartment for some 1:1 time, just the two of them, that there is a very real possibility that he's going to make a move on her for sex.

they know this.

so why, if they know this, do they put themselves in these scenarios if they aren't interested in you?

remember, chics crave attention / validation. so that kind of scenario is the perfect ego boost. she comes over, you make a move on her, then she slaps your face or something and says 'i have a boyfriend. im saving myself for marriage. how dare you!"

then walks away happy as a pig in sh*t knowing that you wanted her.

as for whether you would have got her? who knows, maybe. youll never know whether she was there as a friend, an attention wh*re or if she wanted to get laid. 99% of guys will never know if a chic is just flirting with them, messing with them, or is genuinely interested in them - so dont bother trying to figure it out.

lesson learned? always make a move. better to fail and know the score than to not try and never know what the score was.

worst that happens is that she has no interest and you next her.

Good stuff right here by Joekker, this is exactly what I would've said.

 

[Interceptor]

The thing that women don't seem to realize is that the LAST thing we want is a wife with sex "issues". And ideas that sex is dirty and being a man is bad. And women are superior, men need to be fixed, masculinity is crude and barbaric, blah blah.
Seems like devoutly religious women don't make for the most passionate lovers and consorts.
I don't intend to spend my nights with a future wife reading the Bible.